The SEC has a physical advantage over other conferences: proximity to New Orleans. HA! You thought were going to type “speed” there, because we’re total SEC honks, but demography forbids us from thinking that people can be faster than other people simply because of where they were born. (Unless you’re Kenyan.)

The only clear advantage we saw last night in the game lay squarely between the ears of the coaches on the sidelines. LSU put Ohio State in horrible positions all night long: running with power on a defense unaccustomed to yielding hard yards on the ground, hammering them for scores after three turnovers, and forcing the plodding offense to sprint when it really, really would have preferred to stroll. Mythical speed had nothing to do with it: human resources in the coaching sector did, as LSU’s game plan and defensive adjustments put Ohio State in binds all night.

Todd Boeckman also threw two picks, including an undoubtedly lovely series where Boeckman heaved the ball deep for a pick just before taking a streaking blitzer in the spleen. Throw in a roughing the kicker penalty on a punt, and it wasn’t mythical ambient redneck speed spell frying the Buckeyes–it was your perfect formula for football loss for any team, much less one without a defined deep threat in the passing game and really only one weapon on offense.

False grand trends will be traced by those who would care to do it, but Ohio State just happened to be a mismatched, slightly less-well-coached losing team in a national title game…almost as mismatched as Jamarcus Russell’s superstring theory sweater.


Mr. Cosby would like his sweater back, sir.

Les Miles would like some taffy please. NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!