EDSBS » Archive » ON ASSIGNMENT IN THE NOLIA.

January 7, 2008

ON ASSIGNMENT IN THE NOLIA.

We’re careening around NOLA today with the Chinese Bandits and company for the Sporting News. We’ll be posting there all day if we survive the LSU tailgate we’ve been referred to by Ragin Cajun. We’ll be posting on the move much of the day, so expect little in these parts for today.

And to the tOSU fan with the Nimitz-class tits flashing the crowd last night–thank you, from all of us. You are a woman of both beauty and charity.

Filed under: Big 10 Conference, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, College football, Southeastern Conference by Orson Swindle

[ 70 Replies ]

70 Responses to “ON ASSIGNMENT IN THE NOLIA.”

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1

Allahver Fist says:

Bring me back a Huge Ass Beer, please. Thanks.

January 7th, 2008 at 9:38 am
2

yoyofutbawl says:

In unrelated good news, Mike Hunt has enrolled at Mississippi State for the spring semester (per MSU posting).

Let the Houston Nutt & Casey Dick jokes begin anew.

January 7th, 2008 at 9:43 am
3

Doug says:

You posted a picture of old ladies in Chinese hats but didn’t bother with a picture of “Nimitz-class tits”?

Dude, seriously, that’s unacceptable. I want you to stand in the corner at Pat O’Brien’s for 30 minutes and think about what you’ve done.

January 7th, 2008 at 9:51 am
4

Futbawl Fan says:

whaaat? no fuzzy phone-camera capture of said Nimitz class chesticles? for shame Orson

we want blurry memory captures!!!

January 7th, 2008 at 9:51 am
5

rusty says:

Nimitz class? Oh crap, I think I know who that was. Stay the fuck away!

January 7th, 2008 at 9:56 am
6

Biggus Rickus says:

I have to agree with the other commenters. The internet was designed for young, bared breasts, not old people in vaguely racist headgear.

January 7th, 2008 at 10:02 am
7

PW says:

i’m just thankful these women weren’t baring their breasts

January 7th, 2008 at 10:13 am
8

Rival says:

That lady in front is ug-ly!

…also flat chested.

January 7th, 2008 at 10:16 am
9

Eric says:

What Orson left out was the massive beer gut underneath the Nimitz-class tits and that their owner was Rocco, a steel-worker from Youngstown.

January 7th, 2008 at 10:16 am
10

Grimey says:

“Nimitz-Class Tits” can easily replace “Euro-Trash Girl” in that song by Cracker

January 7th, 2008 at 10:21 am
11

Brian says:

#8 = i think that’s a dude, dude.

Yea, what’s the scoop here man, based on the Clay Travis ramblings, LSU was a milf/cougar enclave.

One bone to pick regarding NOLA — I went to Mardi Gras 2004, last one before Katrina, and I’m gonna tell you this ‘boobs for beads’ thing, simply did not exist. The only women flashing us were strippers. I was very disappointed because St. Patty’s in Savannah has more girls flashing and basically being naughty, overall, not even per capita.

January 7th, 2008 at 10:22 am
12

justanotherbuckye says:

#1

Do you really want to drink something that touts itself “ass beer”? I’ll have none of that thanks, I don’t care how big that “ass beer” is.

January 7th, 2008 at 10:23 am
13

Rival says:

dude

January 7th, 2008 at 10:24 am
14

Herb says:

#11,

#1 rule of Mardi Gras, stay away from Bourbon St. Debauch yourself at Endymion, or one of the parades in Medaire.

January 7th, 2008 at 10:46 am
15

fallex says:

Were they chanting ERR- ESS- YOU ?

January 7th, 2008 at 10:49 am
16

Mr Pelican Pants says:

LOL, that dude in front is a DUDE, or a Cajun grandma that can beat ya arm wrasslin’, and probaly is a pretty good welder to boot, even the chick in the goatee can weld or shrimp pretty good….I’m disappointed that SN didnt send you directly to Shreveport DURING the game and make you go door to door to get those people to re-subscribe……there better be a pic of some Nimitz Class torpedos on here rather than a bunch of Senior Citizen Chinaman Crossdressers…..

January 7th, 2008 at 10:51 am
17

stapler says:

Hey Orson, sure you didn’t drive to Saigon? Oops, I mean “Ho Chi Minh City.”

January 7th, 2008 at 10:52 am
18

stapler says:

And another thing, I think that guy in the middle pissed on my rug!

January 7th, 2008 at 10:55 am
19

Irwin Fletcher says:

Pulled the room together, didn’t it Dude?

January 7th, 2008 at 11:02 am
20

Last Dragon says:

#11 – You must have been lost then. Because every time I’ve ever been in the quarter, there is flashing for beeds going on. Even when its NOT Mardi Gras. And I live here so I’ve been there quite often.

January 7th, 2008 at 11:12 am
21

Mr Pelican Pants says:

#11-
Brian—the bead thing goes on all year long…you must have been on the gay section of New Orleans or lost or something….plus you have to be out and about when the alchohol is kickin in the most, around 8pm or later to get really good shots

January 7th, 2008 at 11:16 am
22

Biggus Rickus says:

Dude, the faux-Chinaman is not the issue here.

January 7th, 2008 at 11:17 am
23

Jim Tressel says:

New Orleans…shit

I’m in New Orleans.

I went home after the last time and would wake up to… nothing.

Every day I spend in this hotel I get weaker while charlie squats in the bush getting stronger.

[/smashes fist into mirror]

January 7th, 2008 at 11:18 am
24

Aerobab says:

What exactly is “Ass Beer”, regardless of size/quantity? Would one really want an “Ass Beer” to go? Is it similar to Miller Lite? Coors? Pabst?

January 7th, 2008 at 11:22 am
25

Scalz1 says:

The best thing that can happen in New Orleans tonight is that a “Dirty Bomb” be unleashed. Not the one you get from draft beer and jumbalaya, though.

January 7th, 2008 at 11:23 am
26

Dave says:

tOSU fans — making crass Michigan jokes even when playing another team. I think NOLA may have finally found people too degenerate to fit in there. Hard to do, but tOSU has had lots of success in many things lately. Why not degeneracy?

January 7th, 2008 at 11:27 am
27

CKGator says:

You guys DO know who that faux-chinaman is don’t you?

January 7th, 2008 at 11:46 am
28

kleph says:

this just in. researchers have found that alcohol + coeds = nudity. care to do some field work on this, orson?

January 7th, 2008 at 11:47 am
29

MIke says:

I predict many OSU arrests for pissing in the streets.

January 7th, 2008 at 11:48 am
30

Joshua says:

They’re not Ass Beers, they’re Big Ass Beers. Look closely in the background of the Chinese Bandit picture.

Those things run about 32 oz and $5. It’s shitty lite beer, but it’ll get the job done. I mean fuck, it’s Bourbon Street, you’re not there for 15 year scotch.

And stay away from the absinthe. I wish Wesley Willis coulda written about the hellride I took on that stuff.

January 7th, 2008 at 11:52 am
31

PW says:

increasing the quantity of ass beer doesn’t make it any more appealing, IMO.

January 7th, 2008 at 11:57 am
32

NativeSon says:

Nimitz-class.
Dude, you should so write shit for a living.

January 7th, 2008 at 11:59 am
33

Dave says:

If you dare, get a “One Mighty Punch” — they used to sell them from a little nook far down Bourbon St., in the “Gay Eighth,” past St. Ann. Those things will fuck you up. I don’t know what’s in them, but on more than one occasion drinking one of those was my last memory before waking up at noon the next day on the floor on my hotel with my underwear on my head.

January 7th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
34

DCDawg says:

Also, “faux chinaman” is not the preferred nomenclature. Faux-asian american, please.

January 7th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
35

Biggus Rickus says:

kleph,

Right. Next you’ll be telling me that marijuana leads to consumption of junk food or heroin to vomit soaked death.

January 7th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
36

Scalz1 says:

Joshua –
did you take a sppoky disharmonious bus ride ?

January 7th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
37

Last Dragon says:

#31 – If you were past St Ann and woke up with your underwear on your head, you were probably ass raped.

January 7th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
38

bitterhorn says:

How many hand grenades ya’ll slurped down yet, Orson?

January 7th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
39

Brian says:

yea guys, we certainly must have no been in the better areas or SOMETHING. It was good to say you’ve been to mardi gras tho.

January 7th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
40

Mr Pelican Pants says:

#31
Now, did someone leave you a note apologizing for not staying longer? Were handcuffsinvolved? You sure you woke up in a hotel room and not a jail cell? Where you wearing a maid uniform?

January 7th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
41

Mr Pelican Pants says:

Not that theres anything wrong with…that….

January 7th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
42

Dave says:

@34,

Well my hotel was in the opposite direction, but believe me, I checked the plumbing.

January 7th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
43

Last Dragon says:

As long as you had a good time Dave. That’s what N.O. is all about……..

January 7th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
44

Mr Pelican Pants says:

Chinese Bandits � Whenever LSU forces a turnover or gets the ball back via a defensive stop, the LSU band plays the Chinese Bandit tune. The entire stadium bows to the defense while the tune is played. The term “Chinese Bandits” originated as the nickname that LSU Coach Paul Dietzel gave to the defensive unit he organized in 1958, which helped LSU to win its first national championship. The next season, the 1959 Chinese Bandit defense held their opponents to an average of only 143.2 yards per game.
Lets see…the color yellow, a tiger for a mascot, Chinese Bandits……..Commies are takin over!!!!

January 7th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
45

dougls says:

go to jean lafitte’s blacksmith bar all the way down bourbon… best hurricanes in the quarter.

January 7th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
46

Dave says:

@40, Don’t I know it. Last time I was there (summer ‘06) I had such a good time I missed a 5pm flight home because I was still sleeping it off. If I had my druthers, I’d never have come home. Maybe that will happen one of these visits.

January 7th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
47

Scalz1 says:

“The term �Chinese Bandits� originated as the nickname that LSU Coach Paul Dietzel gave to the defensive unit he organized in 1958, which helped LSU to win its first national championship.

So, these LSU fans are “Old school” or “obscurely clever”, rather than just “batshit crazy”.

January 7th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
48

Erdinger says:

“Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez”…Mother Fuckers!

January 7th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
49

lilac-a-go-go says:

#13

Sorry , Herb. Tits ain’t happening in Metairie beyond a few here and there shots because of their “family atmosphere.” As anyone knows, the only & best way to capture the full glory of Mardi Gras is FROM the Quarter balcony or FROM the float. I filled up a GB flash card riding in Endymion last year. One year back in the 90’s we had a two strand garland on the Royal Sonesta from corner to corner (Bienville to Conti) made up of bras from obliging ladies desiring cheap plastic beads. Of course, there’d be the occasional guy dropping trou but what the hell, we’d just tell the kids to cover their eyes. If any Buckeyes want the best drink (& burger) in town, head down to Port Of Call On Esplanade for a Monsoon. Two of those and your bellman brings you to your room on his luggage cart.

January 7th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
50

Mr Pelican Pants says:

Hell this aint home field advantage, this is home state advantage….even so, these two teams fans travel so well, you could play on the moon, and I promise ya there would somehow someway be RV’s from both camps up there4 days before gameday, cookin….Zero Gravity TailGatin’…..I hope to live to see that

January 7th, 2008 at 1:17 pm