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Around SBN: Notre Dame's Turnaround: How Have The Irish Done It?

CAUCUSING AT THE ORANGE BOWL

Pro-Kansas ad: waves of grain in the background. Swelling Aaron Copland chords.

What is the problem with Kansas? Nothing at all, we think.

Kansas learned about hard work the hard way in his upbringing in the heartland, struggling from the bottom of the Big 12 all the way up to Harvard Law. Kansas, while possessing the sixth-ranked rushing defense in the nation, became the youngest attorney general in the history of the state, a position he used to punish BAD PEOPLE like drug dealers, pedophiles, and opposing quarterbacks, thus making his state SAFER for good, family-values quarterbacks like Todd Reesing.

Kansas believes in protecting its borders, which explains why Todd Reesing has suffered only a modest 20 sacks this year and thus protected his handsome golden locks. Kansas also believes in controlling its own destiny, forcefully imposing their vision of football freedom on opponents with fullback in tailback's clothes Brandon McAnderson, and protect the health of their second ranked national scoring offense with a superb linebacking corps on defense and All Big 12 James McClinton on the defensive line.

Kansas : SAFER NOT LIKE TERRORISTS OR THE GAYS AND EVOLUTION. Or worse still, A HALF-FISH, HALF GAY MUSLIM CRAWLING FROM THE WATER WITH A UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE IN HIS HAND AND WEARING DYNAMITE.

Instead of asking what's wrong with 11-1 Kansas...maybe you should be asking yourself...what's Virginia Tech hiding behind, HMMMMM? They can't protect themselves against Tigers--what would they do against Osama Bin Laden, hmmmmm?

Vote SAFER. Vote Kansas.

[END]


Loves Freedom, Babies, Free Markets, and Velour Track Suits: Kansas.

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Nice tits.

You too, Stacey.

by etsuVol on Jan 3, 2008 3:50 PM EST reply actions  

Unfortunately, while Kansas was Johnson Country district attorney he sexually harassed female coworkers and had an affair with a subordinate and subsequently had to resign soon after being elected Kansas Attorney General.

Or maybe that was Paul Morrison. Should have stayed in the Republican Party, Paul.

by PeteJayhawk on Jan 3, 2008 3:52 PM EST reply actions  

Poor Stacey Dales, confused on what to do with the Mangino in his tracksuit — either admire or retch.

by Signal to Noise on Jan 3, 2008 3:57 PM EST reply actions  

“I done seen ’bout everything, when I seen an elephant (Mangino) fly!”

They look like the Jayhawk:
http://www.quickstopentertainment.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/07/dumbocrows.jpg

by Brian on Jan 3, 2008 4:05 PM EST reply actions  

whereas Mangino seems to know exactly what he’d do with her…slather on some chili, a few onions, some pickles and he’d devour her like a hot dog.

by baconboy on Jan 3, 2008 4:05 PM EST reply actions  

Kansas sounds an awful lot like Bob Dole, and we know how he did.

by baconboy on Jan 3, 2008 4:06 PM EST reply actions  

Did Mangino have a boy or a girl?

by Doctor Strange on Jan 3, 2008 4:07 PM EST reply actions  

Loves Freedom, eats babies, distorts crop commodity prices in Free Markets, conceals smoked pork shoulders in his Velour Track Suits.

It’s amazing how candidates leave out certain words that clarify their actual position on matters.

by DC Trojan on Jan 3, 2008 4:08 PM EST reply actions  

Here I was hoping for another joke involving fruits orbiting Mangino but here I am treated to a veritable smörgåsbord of political fare! Kudos!

by JB on Jan 3, 2008 4:11 PM EST reply actions  

The Mangina views VT as an appetizer. After all, a Hokie is nothing but a neutered Tom Turkey. Burp.

by yoyofutbawl on Jan 3, 2008 4:13 PM EST reply actions  

Kansas has a Wide Stance©, don’t buy into the rhetoric.

by bitterhorn on Jan 3, 2008 4:24 PM EST reply actions  

Kansas wins based solely on it’s state’s slogan (no lie):

Kansas, It’s Bigger Than You Think.

My penis can relate to Kansas.

by Eric on Jan 3, 2008 4:48 PM EST reply actions  

At #5

Ah, for the halcyon days when barely concealed racism was considered children’s entertainment. Would we could go back to that time.

by carlinthemarlin on Jan 3, 2008 5:05 PM EST reply actions  

Mangino bought that sweat suit because THAT thick white stripe makes him look thinner.

How the !W#@ does his wife buy him his underwear….
…I am not sure they make them that big…

by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me on Jan 3, 2008 5:07 PM EST reply actions  

AP Newswire – Miami, FL: The Kansas football team has lost its coach for the orange bowl tonight stemming from an arrest conducted in the wee hours of Thursday morning by the Florida Wildlife Department in Everglades, FL. Dwaye Hickins, the officer who made the arrest said there were calls from local residents regarding a large man with sunglasses and a mustache running naked through the town, apparently drunk. When local authorities found the suspect several hours later, it turned out to be Head coach Mangino who by that time was feasting on a manatee he was able to catch in a nearby river, sources say. Upon being taken into custody, Mangino explained that he did not realize that eating the mammal was a crime, and that he “was really just jonsing for some sushi.”

by Brian on Jan 3, 2008 5:19 PM EST reply actions  

The Virginia Tech campaign would like to point out that the Kansas contigent has been laundering money in the form of food for their campaign funds to the tune of 3 million Big Macs with cheese, or as they say in Amsterdam, 3 million Royales w/Cheese

by Mr Pelican Pants on Jan 3, 2008 5:45 PM EST reply actions  

Stacy Dales probably likes em big and cuddly, so she can curl up next to them at night and feel warm and safe, and she probably subscribes to Eastern philosophies, which revere Buddha and regards large men as successful, seeing as how they have enough income to eat so much. She probably wishes for her own sumo wrestler, so she could massage his belly after his meal to help him digest.

Well, she does in my fantasies anyway.

by Reasonable_Bama_Fan on Jan 3, 2008 5:46 PM EST reply actions  

#14
Yeh, I miss Uncle Remus……I hear the Disney re-release is under alot of heat……That Dog doesnt know what all the fuss is all about……Zippidity Doo Dah…sounds like a normal song

by Mr Pelican Pants on Jan 3, 2008 5:48 PM EST reply actions  

Stacey Dales=hot. Especially in HD.

Hopefully KU can keep it close and regain the respect Big Game Bob has punted away the last two Fiesta Bowls.

by Raider Red on Jan 3, 2008 5:51 PM EST reply actions  

Edit: respect [for the Big 12]

Sorry. The thought of Mangino eyeing that turkey for four hours and not being able to do anything about it is addling my brain.

by Raider Red on Jan 3, 2008 5:53 PM EST reply actions  

Rock Star Dept:

Mangino wears sunglasses at night because he thinks he is a rock-star. I don’t know why, actually.

by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me on Jan 3, 2008 6:06 PM EST reply actions  

Mangino wears sunglasses at night because they reduce the reflective glare of the stadium lights off his gut.

Either that or he ate Corey Hart.

by DevilGrad on Jan 3, 2008 6:20 PM EST reply actions  

Don’t be surprised if KU wins tonight….

by Roaminggator on Jan 3, 2008 6:27 PM EST reply actions  

Mangino has game. You can’t even tell he’s sucking his stomach in.

by sonofmford on Jan 3, 2008 6:34 PM EST reply actions  

Mangino also wears Eye-Black, under the sunglasses, and also over each eye, and under each eye, to keep the reflection down off his bald head and his big belly…….What would really freak everyone out is that he has that “Gasket Bypass” surgery and comes back next year looking like Peter Jackson, version 2.0, post lord of the rings….His new scaled down version would look like Paul Finebaum……..

by Mr Pelican Pants on Jan 3, 2008 6:44 PM EST reply actions  

That guy is so big that any surgeon with an ounce of sense would make him lose 75-100 pounds before agreeing to do any elective procedure requiring anesthesia. Sort of a Catch-22, eh?

by DevilGrad on Jan 3, 2008 6:59 PM EST reply actions  

#26
Nope, I’d simply shoot him with a couple of tranquilizer darts, and get a Shop Vac, and use that for the Lipo part of the deal as stage one……then once we have gotten about 140 lbs of that and sold it to the local Eskimo population as whale blubber, we’d ramp up to stage 2 where we use some industrial PVC piping to reroute the bypass….BOOM! you got yourself a smaller, more sicklier looking version of the Mangino, all covered under KU medical plan…..We all know his street cred and trademark velour suits would be replaced with Eddie Bauer shirts and Sans-a-Belt slacks and wearing Hushpuppie shoes, maybe a lil beanie golf hat with a pom-pom on top

by Mr Pelican Pants on Jan 3, 2008 7:17 PM EST reply actions  

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