THOM BRENNAMAN NARRATES D-DAY
Thom Brennaman: And they’re off the boats. Welcome to D-Day.
My that’s some bombardment there. There’s men firing guns, and some other men firing guns. And there’s a beach, and boats, and men coming out of the boats.
Please watch Prison Break, the most exciting show on Fox. It’s really exciting.
D-Day, brought to you only as Fox can!
The Americans seem to be laying down here. Yes, they’re laying down. Some of the men aren’t moving. This is because they’ve been shot by the Germans. They Germans are firing guns at the Americans.
Charles Davis: Wow! Bang!
Thom Brennaman: And now there’s a mortar being fired. The shell goes into the mortar, and at that point it flies out of the mortar. It goes into a crowd of people. Wow, they don’t look. Happy.
And here’s a tank. It’s a big thing with a lot of metal on it and people don’t seem to be very happy with it.
Charles Davis: No they don’t, Thom! That tank is tanky!
Thom Brennaman: More shooting. There’s screaming, and man that guy can scream. He’s screaming because he’s shot. You’re looking live at D-Day, brought to you by Fox.
Charles Davis: Exploding is explosive, Thom.
Thom Brennaman: Yes, it is. I don’t condone any of this, because it is bad.
Charles Davis: Yes it is.
Thom Brennaman: Yes, bad is bad. And good things are good.
Charles Davis. Yes.
Thom: Yes. There’s a lot of men shooting here. Wouldn’t you agree, Charles?
Charles: …
Thom: Charles?
Charles: Sorry, your voice is so lulling. Even with all the gunfire, you put me to sleep like a fistful of fucking vicodin, Thom
Thom: Yes. Gunfire. Vicodin. Back after this commercial break.
D-Day is brought to you by Fox,
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1
Jason says:
You missed the part about how America’s supposed to apologize for ripping the Germans a new one.
January 2nd, 2008 at 1:41 pm
2
reb pup says:
it was so bad, I pressed mute & listened to “A Love Supreme” on the ipod
January 2nd, 2008 at 1:48 pm
3
i love ned says:
i vote for using the ned-storming-normandy photo…
January 2nd, 2008 at 1:49 pm
4
Tar Heel Fan says:
Well played sir.
January 2nd, 2008 at 1:50 pm
5
PeteJayhawk says:
That photo is obviously doctored. Ned is missing.
January 2nd, 2008 at 1:52 pm
6
Bobby Decatur says:
The Brennaman/Davis Sugar Bowl job surely has to go down at the very top of the pantheon of the worst ever college football game calls. I was in awe, really, to the point of extremely annoyed distraction. And we still have the BCS ‘championship’ to endure.
Does anyone know how long the Fox-BCS contract goes for?
January 2nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
7
Big Daddy Drew says:
If only they had had Bonerama on d-Day.
January 2nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
8
Scalz1 says:
Superb.
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:02 pm
9
OhioDawg says:
Probably anything would have sounded good to me given the outcome on the field, but I didn’t think THom was as bad as all that. Certainly nowhere near as irritating as listening to Herbstreit talk about guys “in space” over and over.
The lowlight of the announcing day for me was when they started criticizing Florida’s receivers for Tebow’s shitty passes. 4 losses…six sacks against UGa, a crying spell and a poor bowl game. 2 recommended changes: 1) no polls until the 4th or 5th week of the season; 2) don’t award the Heisman until after the bowl games.
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:09 pm
10
shovel pass says:
Everyone…and I mean Everyone call Fox NOW. These two ass clowns can NOT do the championship game!
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:10 pm
11
PW says:
This is coming from a UF homer, but what makes you think Tebow wouldn’t still have won the Heisman after a 4 TD game?
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:12 pm
12
marcillac says:
Excellent, of course. I can’t say I listened very carefully during the game and my ears were strongly predisposed to reject anything emanting from Fox’ well chosen announcing team. Still, it would seem this conveys a good idea of the nature and quality of the announcing.
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:12 pm
13
OhioDawg says:
Maybe it was because the Bulldogs were winning, but tHom was nowhere near as irritating as Herbstreit’s incessant use of “in space” to describe guys running while not being hit.
The lowpoint of the day, though, was when the announcers started criticizing Florida’s receiver’s for Tebow’s awful passes. 4 losses, 6 sacks against UGa, a crying fit and an awful bolwgame – I think I hear John Heisman clawing his way out of the grave.
Recommended changes: 1) no polls until the 5th game of the season; and 2) award the Heisman AFTER the bowl games.
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:14 pm
14
Edsall is God says:
I hate Thom Brennaman with a passion. He might be the worst announcer alive. I hate Joe Buck but that’s because he’s a pompous ass. Brennaman is a pompous who also sucks and blows.
Two particular reasons I hate him. He was ranting about a college football playoff right before Boise’s two-point play in last year’s Fiesta Bowl, which pissed me off and Barry Alvarez in the booth who basically told him to shut up. He also got on his moral high horse when Manny Ramirez won Game 5 of the 2003 ALDS against the A’s. Manny’s moral sin? He admired his home run for just a bit too long for Thom’s liking. Give me a break.
I could write 100,000 words about how much I hate him but even work is a better option than that.
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:14 pm
15
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Pulp Fiction Dept:
Add Ned to the WWII picture? Was that the gimp from the Tarantino movie? Oh, that was Zed. Zed is dead?
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:15 pm
16
PW says:
Especially with sub-par days from McFadden, Daniel, and Brennan.
Actually I agree with you that they should play the WHOLE season before awarding individual trophies, but I doubt anything would’ve changed this year, which is what you seem to be implying.
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:15 pm
17
Dess of the T'ubervilles says:
Frenchman: “Over-rated!” ::clap, clap, clap-clap-clap::
Charles: I guess that’s the, uh, sort of the in-vogue chant now.
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:17 pm
18
R.D. Baker - Retired Blogger says:
This is what happens when you have a seam head and a son of a seam head do non-baseball telecasts
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:18 pm
19
Anon says:
that tank is tanky?
Wow. I simultaneously anxiously anticipate and dread the day you procreate, sir.
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
20
OhioDawg says:
Sorry for the double post – network issues.
#11 – I think 4 touchdowns would have solidified the situation for Tebow. A lame showing in the bowl game, on the other hand, might have had some impact on the final vote. Since 3 of the 4 finalists had bad games, maybe it doesn’t matter at all.
Tebow’s obviously a stud. It’s the constant slurping sounds that come from the announcers when they talk about him that gets under my skin.
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:22 pm
21
PW says:
19
…the day he procreates? Orson’s the damn paterfamilias!
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:24 pm
22
Last Dragon says:
I’m glad I’m not the only one that wanted to stick an ice pick in my ears last night. I called my brother to bitch about it. He must have still been drunk from New Year’s because he seemed to not have noticed the incoherent ramblings………
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:25 pm
23
Nick says:
The important question needs to be asked: Are there football playing robots anywhere during Fox’s coverage of D-Day?
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:25 pm
24
bitterhorn says:
Actually, Orson’s pretty spot-on with the adroitness of Davis’ alleged commentary last night. He was truly displaying an amazing grasp of the obvious and an -indepth knowledge of pretty much nothing college football related.
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:27 pm
25
sandman227 says:
Flame me if you want, but I actually enjoyed Charles Davis….however, only because he was a counterpoint to Brennaman. It was just refreshing to hear someone with a pulse every few moments.
In Brennaman’s defense: 1). He did a pretty good job last year, especially during the 4th quarter and OT, and 2) how much excitement could someone have generated for that slaughter?
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:30 pm
26
Doug says:
Nice. I eagerly await Brennaman’s narration of the LZ129 Hindenburg explosion. “And they’re mooring the zeppelin now, and . . . oh gosh, the thing just blew up. Flames all over the place here in Lakehurst. Lot of humanity going on here right now. And you just gotta hate that for the fans, they were really hoping for a nice landing today . . . “
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:32 pm
27
Out of Conference says:
#21 – PW, Yeah, but he’s not bonified.
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:34 pm
28
Because They Can says:
And don’t forget that they need to spend the final 1.5 hours of the contest throwing lovingly arranged bouquets to the Germans and slinging verbal bricks at those mean ol’ bully American invaders who are being so hateful about not letting those sweet German boys win a few battles. It was as bad as sports braodcasting gets, at least to this point in my life.
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:34 pm
29
yoyofutbawl says:
Thom: Thom Brennerman & Charles Davis bringing the 48 states hot football action later today at 8:00 PM Eastern. We’re here in Honolulu for FOX Radio, covering the Intraforces Bowl on December 7, 1941.
Charles: Right, Thom. Big game between Hickham AFB & Pearl. Pearl is favored by 7.
Thom: Charles, it looks like there’s an early morning practice of a flyover, but something’s wrong.
Charles: Thom, it looks like they’re doing target practice by mistake!
Thom: Oh my God!!! German fighters!!! Run for cover!!!
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:36 pm
30
tOSU_radar says:
SKLM – Zed was actually the guy who the military surplus store owner called up to have some fun with Butch, Marcellus, and The Gimp. Remember, he rode in on the bike:
Fabienne: Whose motorcycle is this?
Butch: It’s a chopper, baby.
Fabienne: Whose chopper is this?
Butch: It’s Zed’s.
Fabienne: Who’s Zed?
Butch: Zed’s dead, baby. Zed’s dead.
OK, I’m having a difficult time getting back into work mode…
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:38 pm
31
PW says:
29
I’m not sure exclamation points would ever be placed after anything Brennanam has ever said.
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:39 pm
32
Papa Lou BSU says:
Last night’s microphone butchery was no surprise to anyone that has ever watched Brenneman call a baseball game. Pompous and insufferable as he is, at least Joe Buck lets you know what’s going on in the damned game.
Hell, we Cub fans were subjected to Thom full time for two seasons back in the early 90s. Thankfully, he shared that booth with Harry Caray, who dominated the conversation and cut Thom B. off any time he started to meander.
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:43 pm
33
drogue says:
74% picked the Germans to win Normandy.
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:44 pm
34
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Mmmm for an instant there I thought Ned was hip hop artist Neo….Did Auburn do a Code Red on Ned?
Nick Saban thinks that the Ga-Hawaii game was more akin to Pearl Harbor…literally…more like the Color Purple meets Pearl Harbor meets Antwoine Fisher….
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:56 pm
35
Eirishis says:
Aww, come on, he’s not that bad. You make him sound like Bryant Gumbel on NFLN or Dave O’Brien doing soccer.
We could clone Gus Johnson … or have him and Keith Jackson make a lust baby together … yes, I can see it now …
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:57 pm
36
Eric says:
Brilliant work, Orson. You missed out on where Thom gets on his high horse about how classless it is for the Allied Forces to keep shooting Germans, even when victory was secured.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:00 pm
37
Smyth says:
Well, at least tonight’s football game should be a bit more palatable. Obviously there’s a problem when the most talked-about part of the game the next day is the bad announcing.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:01 pm
38
NRBQ says:
(Musical accompaniment to above script)
Bonerama covering Wagner.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:03 pm
39
bevo says:
I was so happy to hear Charlie never explain how Georgia stopped an offense it has not faced all year.
Good job, ass clown.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:05 pm
40
bnb614 says:
When will networks realize they are wasting their money paying all this ridiculous “talent.” Brennaman, Maguire, Patrick, Kornhiser, the Daves, Jaworski, Musberger, Herbstreit, and on and on.
They could put 2 orangutans in the booth and I would still watch the game because I want to watch the football GAME. Regardless of who is in the booth.
Evidently a directive went out a few years ago that the announcers should talk incessantly, lest anyone with A.D.D. hear 1 second of pause and think they need to change the channel.
We tune in to watch THE GAME. save your money, hire Jimmy Kimmel, Will Ferrell, and David Cross. Put them in the booth, unscripted, uncensored, and tell them to wing it. That would be better than what we currently get.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:05 pm
41
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Danny Boy Dept:
I like listening to O’Brian on soccer telecasts. Not many Irish accents on the tube stateside.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:08 pm
42
Smyth says:
The entire industry of TV sports announcing is completely overrated. A few years ago when the CFL started airing games without announcers. And what happened? The ratings went up. Coincidence? I think not.
http://money.cnn.com/2005/10/21/commentary/column_sportsbiz/sportsbiz/
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:12 pm
43
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
#30, tOSU: Oh… thanks for the correction….
Man, but that little French lass was one sexy babe. I think she talked about how she liked her belly, or something like that. She could have talked about anything, even politics and still given wood…..
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:13 pm
44
Eirishis says:
#41 SKLM – another correction for you; O’Brien is the dopey American play-by-play guy. The voice you are thinking of is Tommy Smyth.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:29 pm
45
Edsall is God says:
40 – Amen brother! As a pretty avid baseball fan, it drives me crazy how guys like Joe Buck are ALWAYS talking. Yet, the local announcers for the Mets or Red Sox let the game do the talking and then discuss it for a bit without overdoing it.
It’s even more annoying in football because, dude, there’s just not that much to say. When you watched Joe McKnight flying down the field in the Rose Bowl, I don’t need Herbie telling me how good he is in space. Fuck dude, I’M GOOD IN SPACE! Show the game, show the replays and keep your mouth shut.
And I would also like to never, ever again here an in-game interview with the announcers or an interview with the parents of a player as the game is going on. I actually turned off the Capital One Bowl when that dickwad Rodriguez was being interviewed…only to get the Cotton Bowl interviewing that slimebucket Petrino.
I ended up watching hockey. I was so high I swore they were playing in a snow globe.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:32 pm
46
EZ says:
Charles Davis predicts that the 81st Airborne scattered all around Ste. Marie Eglise is going to go with a run/pass option play.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:39 pm
47
EZ says:
Charles Davis predicts that the 82nd Airborne scattered all around Ste. Marie Eglise is going to go with a run/pass option play.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:39 pm
48
Odell 51 says:
I am a Cincinnati Native who loves The Brennaman family. Marty is one of the best baseball announcers in the game and Thom is not that far behind. If we are going to make fun of announcers make fun of Pat Summeral. I was witness to the Thursday night NFL game he called in Cincinnati.
Pat: “The catch by Houshmapudah”
Pat : “Houshmanzilla”
Pat: Houshmanzata
Pat: “Whatever. A guy with a name like that shouldn’t be playing football anyways.”
He was wasted, supposedly being spotted by people at Octoberfest that very afternoon. He did not finish the game.
The Brennamans are opinionated. At least they aren’t a bunch of total corporate pussies.
If anything bitch about “jumper” being forced down your throat during the damn game.
Call on Thom. We love you in the Nati. And Pat Summeral calling hte cotton bowl was horrible.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:45 pm
49
NRBQ says:
Someone please photoshop Colt onto that landing vehicle, with a big target on his chest.
Marcus Howard is just over that ridge…
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:48 pm
50
Last Dragon says:
#48 – Then keep him in the Nati. He’s so insanely boring and master of the obvious that I wanted to jump out my window and kill myself. But I only have a one story house……….
January 2nd, 2008 at 4:03 pm