JUNE JONES HAS 72 HOURS. NO PRESSURE
June Jones has 72 hours to consider an offer from SMU for their head coaching job. He could leave now and Colt Brennan wouldn’t hear a thing, mostly because he’s still too concussed to piss straight. His coach leaving the state would take a week or two to make sense to him at this point. We’re mentioning this again not because we dislike Brennan, but to reiterate that Brennan took an unholy beating last night of the kind you usually only see in Russian soccer riots.( Listen closely, and you will hear Georgia defenders screaming “SPARTAK!!!” on their way into Colt Brennan’s fractured body.)
Why Jones would leave heaven to go to SMU baffles us, though the $50,000 recruiting budget might have something to do with it. Hawaii, BCS beating aside, has tons of intangibles for a coach: the lifestyle, the weather, the modest but easy recruiting (”Hey! Wanna play here, or go to hell and gone over on the mainland for four years?”), and the ability to run wacky run ‘n shoot offenses with little critical scrutiny. It’s the perfect biome for an odd species like Jones, who even with a 1.5 to 1.7 million dollar offer on the table has to consider what he move would entail losing: a job that will likely never fire him to retirement.
They don’t let you wear Hawaiian shirts on the job in Texas. Just a hint.
HT: Dave W.
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1
Flop says:
Biome. Awesome.
When do we get an update on the spread of Transitive Property Herpes to America’s Wang? I read EDSBS for the literate college football commentary AND the epidemiological snark, you know.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:18 pm
2
R.D. Baker - Retired Blogger says:
Can we just appreciate Georgia for thoroughly demolishing their opponent? Bagging on Hawaii only brings down Georgia’s performance by extension.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:21 pm
3
DC Trojan says:
I’m watching to see if UH counters with free spam and sticky rice for life.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:21 pm
4
bitterhorn says:
UH already locked up Kevin Sumlin, and in any case their run’n’shoot days are (hopefully) over. On another note, is it wise, even safe, to have June Jones and Mike Leach coaching in such close proximity?
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:29 pm
5
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
#2: Vandy could have beaten Havaii easily. Heck, even Ole Miss would have waltzed by the minor leaguers.
No big deal beating the Rainbows. The Guvnor of Havaii ought to revoke their new “Warrior” nickname and go back to the other one and go back to wearing rainbow colored uniforms instead of black on black.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:30 pm
6
Oops Pow Surprise says:
If there’s an ounce of sense in June’s brain, he’ll happily tell SMU to get fucked and spend his last forty years, every single one charmed, on the beaches of Hawaii.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:38 pm
7
baconboy says:
Dallas has everything a coach could want — we’ve got good strip clubs, a number of incarceration facilities located within easy driving distance (even if Mack Brown has picked off the exceptional talent), lots of plastic surgeons and the resulting surgically enhanced undergrads, the new Bush library (a great place to send players who can’t read), and two airports in case he wants to leave the state in a hurry.
In other news, Jamaal Charles has declared for the NFL draft.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:40 pm
8
Murphy says:
We don’t mind if men wear aloha shirts here in Texas. Makes them easier to target.
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:53 pm
9
Last Dragon says:
It wouldn’t take me 72 seconds to tell SMU to kiss my ass!
January 2nd, 2008 at 4:02 pm
10
Herb says:
Considering both coaches and players spend most of their time in various athletic facilities rather than on the beaches, he may leave. If not, Hawaii would win the MNC every year with fleets of 5-stars.
January 2nd, 2008 at 4:04 pm
11
Roaminggator says:
I, for one, would have loved to see USC and Georgia actually play someone worthy to be in the BCS. But no, we had to listen to how great a coach Zook is, and how wrong Florida was to get rid of him and how we owe all our championships to his recruiting prowess. We had to listen to the annual flirt party that is ABC and the rest of the media whinning about USC not playing for the NC. How great Georgia is and how they should be number one (somone take a look at their win-loss record). Makes ya sick, doesn’t it?
January 2nd, 2008 at 4:08 pm
12
baconboy says:
I forgot another reason to come to Dallas — it’s within easy driving distance of Shreveport!!!
January 2nd, 2008 at 4:12 pm
13
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
One positive thing about Dallas and SMU….at least it is in America!
January 2nd, 2008 at 4:20 pm
14
bitterhorn says:
Plus, our roaches in Texas are almost as big as the ones in Hawaii. Mosquitos, we got’em beat.
January 2nd, 2008 at 4:31 pm
15
PeterPumpkinhead says:
First, SKLM, I used to live in Ft. Worth and Dallas actually isn’t in America, it’s still in The Free State of Texas.
Orson, you need to start a campaign to have June grow his mustache back… he just doesn’t look right without it. Maybe you could have some old pics of him for the next Mustache Wednesday to get it kick-started.
January 2nd, 2008 at 4:40 pm
16
Dante says:
I love SMU but leaving Hawaii for that job would be a mistake. One of these days SMU is going to expect to be a national power again. Hawaii will always be content with mediocrity. It is interesting that SMU is pretty much the exact opposite of Hawaii. All the facilities in the world but nobody to manage them properly and a downright nasty position to be in for mid-major recruiting with an entire former conference of teams better than you are scouting your area pretty heavily.
January 2nd, 2008 at 4:44 pm
17
OhioDawg says:
#9 – Tell it, tell it!
January 2nd, 2008 at 4:56 pm
18
yoyofutbawl says:
Can Cap’n Arrrrrr play the Perunas every year as a non-conf. game? That would make for some fine passin out thar, if SMU can sign a QB who can chew gum, breathe and pas at th same time…oh well, forget it.
Stay in Hawaiiiiiii, June.
January 2nd, 2008 at 5:00 pm
19
baconboy says:
Texas Tech was on the schedule this year and has been in the past as well (the former coach, Bennett, almost got in a fight with Leach once).
January 2nd, 2008 at 5:11 pm
20
lloyd christmas says:
ESPN – Newsbreak:
The AP is reporting, as of 5:19PM EST, that Colt Brennan has just been sacked again. Although details are still sketchy, early reports from Delta flight 1354 say that Marcus Howard boarded the flight disguised as a flight attendant only to mercilessly maim Brennan again on his way to the lavatory. Once again, his offensive line was nowhere in sight. Stay tuned to ESPN for more on this breaking story.
January 2nd, 2008 at 5:23 pm
21
Last Dragon says:
#13 – You wouldn’t know it with all the Mexicans running around……..
January 2nd, 2008 at 5:41 pm
22
Rome says:
Hey, come to San Antonio where whitey is the minority without the benfits.
January 2nd, 2008 at 6:52 pm
23
Dr. Ed PHD.XYZ says:
I think the boys from Hawaii had been spending too much time on the beach smoking weed, I swear they looked like a bunch of stoners.
January 2nd, 2008 at 7:00 pm
24
macker says:
Perhaps it was because I never bought in to the Hawaii-as-lovable-underdog hype, but was anyone else a little taken aback by the broadcasting in the 2nd half last night? Georgia was absolutely sawing them in half and we were treated to comments about how courageous Hawaii was after every 15 yard pass or 5 yard run. Can’t have it both ways. If you want to claim a seat at the big boy table, you aren’t courageous for getting your arse spanked, you just have a bloody bum.
January 2nd, 2008 at 10:12 pm
25
OhioDawg says:
JUNE JONES HAS 48 HOURS.
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:43 am