22 yards rushing. That’s what ultimately doomed Arizona State in Texas’s 52-34 victory in the Holiday Bowl, stepson totally trying to grab the ball off the field from the sideline aside. (Here’s Chris Jesse’s MySpace page as evidence of his existence, and his intelligence in changing it to a private page sometime between last night and the present.)


Totally agree. The big story was Texas shutting down the run. Nothing to see here.

No rushing meant no play-action, and no play-action meant Rudy Carpenter getting sacked 4 times, sailing balls all night, and getting the Texas bench taunt “RUUUUUUU–DEEEE, RUUUUUUUU-DEEEE” in the fourth quarter, expertly caught by ESPN’s mikes.

Jamaal Charles gets 27 carries for 161 and 2 TDs, Colt McCoy
keeps it efficient, and Texas looks way more intense
than Arizona State for all sixty minutes of the game on the way to Mack Brown’s seventh ten-win season in a row. Shang Tsung says IMPRESSIVE.

And, yes, Mack Brown’s stepson tried to grab a live ball and subsequently blew referee Penn Wagers’ mind.

Darren McFadden may have lost his eligibility for the senior season he’ll spend in the NFL, so no big deal. He may have also lost his eligibility for the bowl game; deal. The cause of the possible ineligibility is a new Cadillac Escalade, how it was purchased, and whether said purchase tramps on the collection of logical inconsistencies, tomfooleries, and elaborately woven skeins of bullshit that are the NCAA’s rules regarding college athletes.

FOX continues its slow demolition of the competitive American sports market with its announcement of sold-out ad space for all four BCS games. Ad rates rose 18% to around a million dollars for a 30 second ad, mercifully pricing out the Yella Wood ads and Yamaha ATV spots that are the bane of an SEC fan’s existence. Muchas gracias, invisible hand. Muchas.

Conspiracy theories are for the paranoid and uniformed so gimmeh gimmeh The wackazoid, possibly parallel universe scenario of the day: Bill Parcells can’t get Romeo Crennell (another rumor) to come to Miami to be his coach, so he dips into the loyal toady bag and pulls out Charlie Weis. All parties come out happy: Notre Dame tastefully unloads a coach with a 300 year contract extension, Miami gets rid of Cam Cameron, Parcells gets someone he knows and feels comfortable with, and Weis and Parcells get hot pressed sandwiches with cheese and double meat as stipulated in their contracts. It’s ripped straight from the pages of college/pro football fanfic, but with some claim to realism and no love scenes. Thank God, no love scenes.

That vomit won’t come out of your keyboard. Get a new one. You needed one anyway.

West Virginia is suing Rich Rodriguez to recover the buyout, tastefully suing their former coach of seven years and an alum in Rich Rodriguez for $4 million for leaving the job for Michigan without formally notifying them. Ed Pastilong, publicly upbraided by a prominent WVU booster already for allegedly dragging heels on promises to Rodriguez, just upped his asshole rating in their eyes by exponential numbers.

And because it’s Friday, you need a reminder of how crucial dragon and wizard-based metal is to our culture, and that yes, someone made the impossible song in GH3 on purpose.