CURIOUS INDEX 12/27/07
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Central Michigan lost the loss of pained heroes last night, giving Purdue a minute and change to drive for the winning field goal in a 51-48 victory in the Motor City Bowl. Even against the addled Purdue defense Dan LeFevour looked impressive: 292 yards and four tds passing, 114 yards and two scores on the ground, and some toughness displayed late when Purdue’s defenders suddenly awoke to find themselves suited up and playing critical snaps late in a game, and hey why not decide to actually hit the quarterback? Curtis Painter suffered no such indignities late, and was eating cucumber sandwiches in the backfield as he tallied 546 yards and three scores, including a composed final drive for the winning field goal.
All in all, for a December 26th bowl game it punched well above its weight. And hey! There was footage of Andre Ware handing off to Barry Sanders! Otherwise known as his pro highlight tape! With an attitude like that…Notre Dame President Emeritus Father Theodore Hesburgh says two win seasons aren’t the end of the world, and makes an important theological distinction. “But I don’t think football is like eternal salvation.” Trick question: football IS eternal salvation. Ur the0logy: FAIL. It would make great tinder for a couch fire. A West Virginia fan is Ebaying his beard grown during his football season, claiming he’s doing what Mountaineers do for each other: sharing beards. Wondering why West Virginia fans would be unable to grow beards (meth lab explosion) on their own faces is an unanswered question, but the entry makes for good readin’: The beard has served coach Huggins well this season. I will try to get coach Huggins to touch it at the Oklahoma vs. WVU game on 12.29.2007. I will take a picture for proof of the touch, and you will get a copy. Mmmmm…a beard that smells like scotch. Fifty dollars is just a start on the bidding, if you ask us. (HT: College Game Balls.) Al Golden has withdrawn his name from the UCLA coaching search, leaving Dewayne Walker and Rick Neuheisel in the running for the job, meaning you’ve got Rick Neuheisel in the job, meaning you’ll have recruiting violations like WHOA, very good offenses, and a coach who kind of looks like Gretchen Mol coaching in LA, an entirely appropriate thing. He and Pete Carroll can have competitive youth-offs where the other demonstrates his youth and vigor by doing something even more adolescent and trendy. If Carroll boogie-boards, Neuheisel will have Hannah Montana tapes blaring at practice; if Carroll responds by having the Wiggles playing while he fires up the team, Neuheisel will be blowing the whistle at particularly large fetuses on ultrasounds at local hospitals. This will all end in tears, but you knew that already. Unless you’re Bruins Nation, who’s taking what they consider to be the lesser of two “mehs” in hiring the head coach with actual head coaching experience. It’s like we’re soul sisters or something. Siblings, we mean… Erin Andrews lists Shout Wipes, an iPod, a MacBook, and Bumble and Bumble hair products as things she can’t live without on the road. We, too, love all of these and now rarely leave home without them. Who this should disturb more is unclear, but it’s undeniably disturbing, especially since we just admitted that we love Bumble and Bumble hair products in public. |
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1
kleph says:
it seems pretty clear that if we are to equate the current state of notre dame football to theology, then tertullian must be experiencing a massive resurgence in popularity.
December 27th, 2007 at 9:41 am
2
Mr Pelican Pants says:
I say screw it, bring back the Crusades, when the Catholics knew how to kick ass.
December 27th, 2007 at 9:42 am
3
Jerkwheat says:
Bumble and Bumble….Lush..
Orson, I dare say with our combined totally hetero love for top-notch personal grooming products, we may well be amongst the snazziest and well taken care off fans in the SEC.
Now, let us start a fire and kill things.
December 27th, 2007 at 9:45 am
4
okiedomer says:
i fully support comment #2
there are few men in life i admire more than father ted, but he need only look down out his window from atop the library named after him to see that touchdown jesus is crying
December 27th, 2007 at 9:45 am
5
Eric says:
Bumble and Bumble is also the name of the secret 2 man search committee that is conducting the hiring for the UCLA job.
December 27th, 2007 at 9:50 am
6
BlueState says:
It looks like the WVU guy got great feedback from “DeepVoice69″ on Ebay.
December 27th, 2007 at 10:01 am
7
Brian says:
personal grooming products? Nay: Shower Sauces.
December 27th, 2007 at 10:06 am
8
Mr Pelican Pants says:
So is it safe to say, the greatest All-Catholic Team was the 45-46 ND team, or the nearly 200 yrs of nonstop offense during the Crusades? As it is today, the Muslims were and still are, their biggest Rival…. over 1000 yrs of history between the 2 teams, I’d say the Catholic-Muslim rivalry almost beats Army-Navy as the most heated rivalry….
December 27th, 2007 at 10:19 am
9
Doug says:
Eric (#5) stole my joke, except in my version it was, “Wow, Notre Dame’s offense has started selling its own line of hair-care products?” Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week.
Actually, my first thought upon reading that item was that I didn’t know what the fuck Bumble and Bumble was, so my brain read Mac and Bumble, and the subsequent association with Erin Andrews got me very excited.
December 27th, 2007 at 10:19 am
10
Dale Price says:
“it seems pretty clear that if we are to equate the current state of notre dame football to theology, then tertullian must be experiencing a massive resurgence in popularity.”
Maybe Origen? Remember, he castrated himself.
December 27th, 2007 at 10:21 am
11
Beatuofa says:
Know how I know you’re gay? You know what Bumble and Bumble is.
December 27th, 2007 at 10:36 am
12
Tater Salad says:
I thought the two man search team for UCLA was comprised of Randolph and Mortimer. Of course, the experiment did not go nearly as well as it did with Mr. Eddie Murphy…
December 27th, 2007 at 10:40 am
13
Brian says:
You know, that’s funny because that’s the same items that come in the “Pat White Travel Tote” available at Bloomingdales.
December 27th, 2007 at 10:47 am
14
Domer Guy says:
Father Ted: nice enough guy, just doesn’t have his priorities in order.
December 27th, 2007 at 11:21 am
15
Geaux Irish says:
What, no love for the Tempurpedic pillow?
December 27th, 2007 at 11:23 am
16
Russ says:
@14 – Bravo, my friend! 100 cocktails to you!
December 27th, 2007 at 11:33 am
17
DC Trojan says:
Father Ted is in charge at Notre Dame? I suppose that’s why it looks like their defense is coached by Father Dougal.
I’d keep a close eye on the endowment if I were a Domer alum.
December 27th, 2007 at 11:39 am
18
BurritoBrosShits says:
Good God, Erin Andrews lives in the metro Atlanta area?
December 27th, 2007 at 11:46 am
19
Andre Ware's Little Friend says:
So…you and EA like to pack the same things?
Hey. Orson.
…
December 27th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
20
Father Ted says:
DC Trojan,
The money was only resting in my account.
December 27th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
21
Out of Conference says:
I’m with Doug (#9) – I’m more of a Mac and Bumble haircare products guy myself- preferably shaving cream and a lady’s gillette.
December 27th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
22
Domer Guy says:
Not to go getting all serious on y’all, and all Catholic and ND bias aside, Father Ted is one of the most remarkable people of our lifetimes. 16 presidential appointments, 150 honorary degrees, UN work, Congressional Gold Medal, civil rights work, etc.
See: http://newsinfo.nd.edu/content.cfm?topicid=12044
Also, he’s always willing to share his experiences with anyone (just stop by his office). He’s said Mass in a nuclear submarine, and was supposed to travel on the space shuttle, which was nixed by the Challenger disaster in ‘86.
December 27th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
23
Puck Furdue says:
Rumors have it that the game last night was Joe Tiller’s last…
Back to 3-9, 4-8 seasons, Boilers!
December 27th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
24
DC Trojan says:
was supposed to travel on the space shuttle
That’s taking “Nearer my God to thee” to the next level, I’d venture.
December 27th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
25
St Guinefort says:
Good post Domer Guy; now let’s see how many asses make fun of a truly remarkable individual…
December 27th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
26
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Crickets Dept:
St Guinefort : I just hear crickets….nobody complaining about Ted.
Shudda brought up the Cheeseburglar Weis, though. Now, that would have elicited some interesting comments from the peanut gallery.
December 27th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
27
St Guinefort says:
SKLM – in this instance I love crickets. I should have more faith in my fellow humans. As for cheeseburgers, what the hell’s wrong with cheeseburgers and why would I make fun of Charlie for eating them?! I could eat the hell out of a cheeseburger about right now…
December 27th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
28
CLTDawg says:
I’ll go ahead and toss out my hetero/homo preference for Bumble & Bumble as well – won’t shower without the Tonic body wash and the Super Rich conditioner………
God my dad would be so disappointed in this post.
December 27th, 2007 at 9:32 pm
29
Geaux Irish says:
#19:
+1,000 cocktails to you!
December 28th, 2007 at 9:55 am