BOWLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL: THE HOLIDAY BOWL
by Orson on Dec 27, 2007 5:34 PM EST
38 comments
It's the Holiday Bowl, and with Texas and Arizona State facing off, it's the first quality matchup between two quality teams, it's the first real bowl, it's like...like...candy!
The ultra-brief pregame:
Texas is a slight favorite, probably because they are Texas, and thus higher on the collective public esteem totem pole most people seem to use when sizing up bowl matchups. This has persisted despite Texas' appalling lack of a defense, which may or may not make a difference given Arizona's inability to protect Rudy Carpenter. Carpenter has taken 51 sacks on the year. Carpenter has taken 51 sacks on the year. It's worth saying twice--that's how brutal it's been for him. Even a modest push by the Texas defense (60th overall in sacks) could have Carpenter counting floodlights.
Arizona State's defense may be the pivot this game hinges on: while Texas linebackers have redefined arm-tackling this year, ASU's linebackers are all sure-handed progress-stoppers. Make Texas throw, and you put Colt McCoy under pressure, and you make Colt McCoy work against a 21-18 td ratio, and that could mean six running the other way while you wonder what the hell happened to the guy last year who looked like Alex Smith in Longhorn Orange.
Yet: Anyone who watched Arizona State this year had to be shocked at ASU's resemblance to late-model Tennessee Volunteer teams: a sure-armed qb who got hammered throwing the ball to possession receivers without a serious deep threat or scheme-buster to bail him out, especially in dire situations where the decent running game got substandard under defensive pressure. On offense, they're shockingly similar, both in how they succeed and in how they fail.
Equalling: a likely Texas win, even with the errors and stuttering of Texas' defense and qb play.
Announcing: Herbstreit and Musburger. Brent will refer to Dennis Erickson as "an old buccaneer," and you are heartily encouraged to imagine the two, sunburned and swilling Wild Irish Rose while floating in a life raft somewhere off the coast of Chile singing old sea shanties and waiting for rescue.
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So since there’s no volcanoes in San Di-a-go, .23 Erickson will have to drive his golf cart into the bear pit at the SD Zoo.
Butterteeth must go down. And since he doesn’t have Vince or Major at the helm, he will.
by Raider Red on Dec 27, 2007 5:59 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
that song is also the sample for “every other city we go…every other ray-dee-oh…no matter where i go…i see the same hooooooooooooooes…”</i?
by gerry dorsey on Dec 27, 2007 6:10 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
IF Texas will turn their running back loose before the 4th quarter, Texas should be able to win the game…if they cant run the ball, that means the games in Colt"She Thinks Muh Tractors Sexy"McCoy hands, and that…..well it just cant end well…..Peter Bean, may the Force be with you….
by Mr Pelican Pants on Dec 27, 2007 6:15 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
I’m the most optimistic Texas-ex you’ll ever meet………………….ASU is going to kill us.
by Dr Drunkenstein on Dec 27, 2007 6:53 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Is there an over/under line on how many players in the game will have shoulder pads as large as that singer?
Sincerely,
David Byrne
by StageCoach on Dec 27, 2007 6:59 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
MPP, are you seeking some sort of a Capital One Bowl Week comment prize for quantity?
by Beef on Dec 27, 2007 7:01 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Once again, Orson, your analysis is spot on. Arizona hasn’t protected Carpenter all year. Neither has Arizona State, but that’s neither here nor there.
by BuckeyeDan on Dec 27, 2007 7:35 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
#5
Dammit they’re onto me and my evil plan……
Kinda in a dead zone at work…….sorry, I’ll be in the corner cookin meth, dont mind the fumes, they’re harmless….at least is what they tell you in Home Ec. in WFV…….
by Mr Pelican Pants on Dec 27, 2007 7:39 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
mpp- keep on postin bruh my works dead too and your posts equal time that clicks off the clock…..
by jake steely on Dec 27, 2007 8:18 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Did anyone see Jake Plummer intro the Sun Devils?
He was sporting a Grizzly Adams beard and looked to be following the Jim Morrison Finale Plan- letting himself go, surrendering to the munchies; I am guessing the drunken malaise is next and then an OD in French bathtub.
by fotodog on Dec 27, 2007 8:23 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
fotodog,
No kidding on Plummer, although the look is an improvement on his 70’s style/child molester stash he sported in Denver.
And when did the use of the shocker become so routine? State fans, players and mascot have sported it thus far. My recollection is that was only for use with your special lady, or that drunk anoying chick you did not have the energy to hate fuck.
by skinnyphatman on Dec 27, 2007 8:31 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Well what do you know, when Mack Brown said, “All jobs are open,” he actually meant it concerning the linebackers.
He actually started Jared Norton and Robert Muckelroy, who didn’t earn starting positions earlier, because, silly players, they actually attacked ball carriers with sound fundamental tackling when they did get into regular season games.
by pville on Dec 27, 2007 8:50 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
As always, the team that got screwed out of the BCS mails it in for the Holiday Bowl.
by John on Dec 27, 2007 9:00 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Good to see Penn Wagers making a mockery of football outside the SEC to. That guy is an effin’ idiot.
by fotodog on Dec 27, 2007 9:17 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
How ‘bout Mack Brown’s stepson pulling an old Crimpsun Tahd move and coming into the field of play.
He’ll be immortalized.
by Gurn on Dec 27, 2007 9:30 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Cameo – even better here than in Word Up
And you thought he was a one hit wonder. OK, no hit wonder, but who’s counting.
by Out of Conference on Dec 27, 2007 9:51 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Penn Wagers isn’t a name, it’s a sentence.
by NewAZTiger on Dec 27, 2007 10:19 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Two things: #1 Or, he could drive it into a Whale’s Vagina
Is this the first cameo for Cameo?
by Mr. Wrong on Dec 27, 2007 10:41 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Meet Texas’ favorite stepson Chris Jesse:
by adigomas on Dec 27, 2007 10:47 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Holy Shit…WFV is suing Rich Rodriquez for $4 million billion jillion dollars……..MoFo’s holding a grudge…….
by Mr Pelican Pants on Dec 27, 2007 10:53 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
I haven’t watched the full game, but kuddos to ESPN for the sound on a few of the plays- Mack Brown’s working the refs on UT’s first drive (“he was two feet out of bounds”) and whoever that was telling the UT players to get their “hands up” (or possibly encouraging the refs) was great. Now if they could only mic up the bands correctly, we could enjoy CFB in all its glory.
by For the Glory of Old State on Dec 27, 2007 11:05 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Did Dennis Erickson’s daughter just flash the fucking shocker after the interview with Penn State’s Lovely And Talented Lisa Salters?
by Run Up The Score on Dec 27, 2007 11:16 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Cameo also recently made a cameo in a few metro Atlanta jails. Lead singer Larry Blackmon was arrested in Gwinnett County on 10/16/07 after he was pulled over for an expired tag and a check of his license revealed an outstanding warrant. He actually asked the cop, “Don’t you know who I am?” Even though he gave the officer the code word, Smoky wouldn’t let him go. Mug shot here.
by The General on Dec 27, 2007 11:25 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Re: Arizona State defense, via the great Lou Brown:
You may run like Mays but you hit like shit."
And embarassment sets in…
The “shocker” is actually a pitchfork, (or a trident if you want to be a dick about it) the tool of the devil and the local gang sign in Tempe, much like the hook em horns you’ll find in Austin or the Breakfast Club. But really, have your fun. I’m not bitter or anything.
Shockingly enough, Jake Plummer is still a professional athlete. All jokes aside, he and his brother are- I shit you not- on the pro handball tour. However I too saw the old Jim Morrison.
This blows.
by Big Jon on Dec 27, 2007 11:31 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Ah, the Holiday Bowl, where the 2nd place Pac-10 team goes to get whupped by the 4th place Big 12 team.
by NewAZTiger on Dec 27, 2007 11:32 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Ah, national TV coverage, where ASU goes to take big shits.
Oregon
USC
Texas
by Big Jon on Dec 27, 2007 11:41 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
There’s just something about Rudy Carpenter that makes me want to punch him in the face. Musberger and Herbstreit were talking about how Carpenter had been shit-talking Texas to the press earlier in the week — anyone know what exactly he said?
by Doug on Dec 27, 2007 11:49 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Doug-
We don’t care too much for him either, and after Danny Scissorhands went 5-5 on the last drive I might take Rudy out myself if I see him.
Some friends are high-level boosters and claim that Erickson doesn’t like Rudy either, but ASU has zero quarterback depth and we’re stuck with him for another year. I don’t know how reliable that is, but it’s out there.
Your dawgs will certainly bloddy his face in September since ASU will be starting five offensive linemen next year that couldn’t start for this wretched unit. I weep for the future.
by Big Jon on Dec 28, 2007 12:00 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
I’ve watched lots of porn during this game.
by NogginsJefers on Dec 28, 2007 12:00 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
so has anyone noticed how even the announcers aren’t watching the game… i loved kirk’s reaction to the almost recovered onside kick…
by the guy on the couch on Dec 28, 2007 12:11 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Do they even play defense in the Pac-10?
by coastalbuck on Dec 28, 2007 7:17 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Even the musical interlude has an ATL connection. It never ends…
And is it just me, or does Carpenter look like an older version of the kid from A Christmas Story that gets his tongue stuck on the light post. Maybe that beating from his mother you hear him take over the phone made him bitter.
by Because They Can on Dec 28, 2007 8:19 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
From Rudy Carpenter’s bio page on the ASU site.
Personal:…enjoys playing basketball and collecting shoes…
Collecting shoes. That says it all. A quarterback making asinine comments all week that collects shoes.
by UTEx on Dec 28, 2007 10:48 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
I can’t believe I played that video for the rest of the guys in the office last week!!! Orson, get outta my head!!!
by Kerwin4two on Dec 28, 2007 11:09 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
the horns just scored again…hahaha. way to go ASU, they were overrated all year long and this just showed they have a long way to go.
by free ipod classic on Jan 1, 2008 6:23 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
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