ANTHONY MORELLI WILL GO TALK TO THE WHALES NOW

by Orson on Dec 27, 2007 3:24 PM EST

Penn State senior qb Anthony Morelli has not spoken with the media in 46 days, presumably because the lights distract him and he just starts throwing objects from his locker randomly at reporters in response. (As none of them have hit there intended targets, you've heard nothing of the incidents to this point.) The much-maligned Penn State senior has dodged the media in favor of discussing his problems with those who would understand best: marine mammals in big jars.

Coach Joe Paterno is not scheduled to meet with reporters again until tomorrow. Offensive coordinator Galen Hall was left to answer why the starting quarterback, on the eve of his final collegiate game, was not made available to the press.

"I don't have any clue," Hall said.

Team spokesman Jeff Nelson said Morelli had told him he planned to attend earlier yesterday, then backed out without reason. Instead, Morelli visited Sea World with other teammates.

"He wanted to feed the fish," guard Rich Ohrnberger quipped.

Ohrnberger is presumably not a bio major, so we'll forgive the slight against the largely mammalian cast of Sea World. We think the story's a dodge, since if Morelli were intent on feeding the fish at Sea World, he'd have to be able to throw fish in a barrel. Hey! Inaccuracy jokes! Seriously, it must suck degrees of suck only measurable on the Matchbox 20 album scale to be Anthony Morelli, especially when reporters are pulling out the "one last chance to impress NFL scouts" line on you. Nevertheless. his elusiveness off-the-field is shocking, especially given the 20 sacks he's taken this year on the field.

Tweet Comment 19 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

This looks like a case for CBS’s Cold Case investigation unit…..Senior QB, shady leadership……he isnt feeding the fish…..he’s being fed to the fish….

by Mr Pelican Pants on Dec 27, 2007 3:44 PM EST reply actions

Geez. Why do you hate Italians so much, Orson?

by Eric on Dec 27, 2007 3:44 PM EST reply actions

Sounds like he’s got both feet planted firmly on the ground , 20 feet under water.

by Dr. Ed PHD.XYZ on Dec 27, 2007 3:44 PM EST reply actions

Ant,
You just take all the time you need. Infact, If you want to stay in hiding until even after Saturday nights game, feel free brother.

Love,
The team

by DanF on Dec 27, 2007 3:46 PM EST reply actions

Last one, I swear…..
He was gonna drop back and throw the mackerel til Shamu blindsided his ass from the left side….never send a dolphin to block a killer whale comin off the edge, bad mismatch……

by Mr Pelican Pants on Dec 27, 2007 3:48 PM EST reply actions

Holy shit, is it me or do Penn State uniforms resemble Killer whales? or Vice Versa? Just simple old black and white….nothing fancy….cool in a “plain” sorta way…Killer whale audibles….thats what Morelli should be learnin down there…..click click weeeeeee click click

by Mr Pelican Pants on Dec 27, 2007 3:55 PM EST reply actions

Somewhere, in the nameless, faceless wasteland of tract housing just outside of Columbus, the Sub-Commandante sits in his mother’s basement…thinking…thinking… doing bongs…thinking

by OhioDawg on Dec 27, 2007 4:01 PM EST reply actions

I wonder how many Shamu’s they’ve gone through, without telling us. Shamu 5? Shamu 7? The real Shamu apparently died in 1971.

by Brian on Dec 27, 2007 4:03 PM EST reply actions

Brian -

Like they always say, you can’t spell Shamu without
S-H-A-M. Not sure who “they” are, but still

by Tater Salad on Dec 27, 2007 4:09 PM EST reply actions

And Evian spelled backwards is Naive.

by Rob on Dec 27, 2007 4:20 PM EST reply actions

Ant-ih-ny Muhrelli sleeps wit da fishes!

by Eric on Dec 27, 2007 4:22 PM EST reply actions

If he would actually speak to the media they would give the guy an easier time. Instead, Morelli chooses to attend as many press conferences as GW Bush did during his first term. It does not bode well for a team whose QB can’t handle the rush at a PRESS CONFERENCE! let alone an actual rush of large men whose aim is to harm you.

by JB on Dec 27, 2007 4:26 PM EST reply actions

Killer whales do have their names on the back of their jerseys…I think that’s the only difference.

by spartanmike on Dec 27, 2007 4:46 PM EST reply actions

Not to get too far off topic….did the NFL Network cave in and now has to broadcast the game publicly? I mean WTF is that about? Dont have the NFL network? Great! Now you have an excuse to go to a bar and watch it away from ya wife and kids! Genius!
How come someone doesnt have the College Football Network locked down? 24/7 feeds and have live blogs locked into it scrollin on the side, Lawya!

by Mr Pelican Pants on Dec 27, 2007 4:57 PM EST reply actions

I would rather cut my own balls off than sit through another year of Anthony Morelli starting at quarterback for the Nits.

by PSU4life on Dec 27, 2007 5:14 PM EST reply actions

Actually, Morelli started talking to the media 45 days ago. But “Big Ten Slow” is so powerful the soundwaves haven’t even made it halfway to media’s ears yet. Basically, we won’t be hearing from Morelli or any other Big Ten player until just before NLOID. Then we can expect 92 days of a similar silence following NLOID from all Big Ten-bound recruits, even Sam McGuffie.

by poguemahone on Dec 27, 2007 5:15 PM EST reply actions