BOWLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL: THE MOTOR CITY BOWL 2007
by Orson on Dec 26, 2007 3:56 PM EST
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PrintPiss on you, bowl critics, because the Motor City bowl brings ten years o' hottness to the table. It's older than some countries, man. Suck that, East Timor! In addition to all of this, the matchup between Central Michigan and Purdue promises to feature lots of points, a feature that for the casual, non-defense-loving fan should trump the I Love New York 2 marathon on VH1. (Well, for the first half at least.)
Name: Motor City Bowl. A terrific name if you want to associate yourself with a dying industry. Alternate names to the same end could include The American Railroad Conductors Bowl, the Cassette Tape Player Bowl, and the Univac Computers Bowl.
Motto: Come for the MAC football, stay for the soul-wrenching casinos and urban blight. Detroit is the mule America never gets tired of kicking, as evidenced by the brisk economy of punchlines that extends all the way back to The Kentucky Fried Movie. The city that inspired The Crow and Robocop really does make it far too easy for those with the rapiers out, however.
Exhibit we've lost count because it's too fucking easy: the big night out for the football players?
The entire team will be the guest of Utopia Night Club within Thunderbowl Lanes, located in nearby Allen Park from 6:30 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. (Note: This event may be moved to 5:00 pm 8:00 pm depending on final practice time assignments)). Thunderbowl Lanes is an area landmark with 94 lanes and home to the Michigan Bowling Hall of Fame. Players will be hosted in the remodeled Utopia Night Club with exclusive use of 20 bowling lanes, 24 pool tables, and a large video arcade.
The pregame party is in the "nightclub" in a bowling alley. Thomas More actually had precisely this club in mind when he wrote Utopia, actually. Also, we're pretty sure that if this is the pregame party, then the gift bag will include a slightly used Sega Genesis and White Castle gift certificates along with a certificate of participation and eight pushpins just hanging loose in the bag.
Fake Bowl? No, because it's not owned and operated exclusively by the WWL. The sponsors include GM, Chrysler, and Ford, a trio of sponsors explaining why the Motor City bowl has been bailed out financially by the United States government three times in the past ten years and failed to happen in 1999 because it dropped its transmission and burst into flame. God, we loathe American cars.
Intrusive Corporate Sponsor: None in the title, a testament to the commitment to brand the bowl under the Motor City moniker. A misguided attempt considering the endless vein of Detroit jokes, we think, but an admirable one given the Petrosun Independence Bowls of the world. Show us the day when Shreveport inspires this kind of loyalty!
Tradition rating: As old as the term "weblog," actually, and therefore meriting a tradition rating of Drudge Reportish.
Give the Motor City Bowl a fuckin' siren! It's blog-old!
Setup: Usually nabbing a MAC power, the Motor City Bowl began its early career by serving as the official destination of Marshall football in the Bobby Pruett era: the Herd made the first four Motor City Bowls. This year's model features MAC champion Central Michigan versus Purdue, who finished ninth in the Big Ten.
Why you should watch despite this being the MAC champion versus the ninth-place team in the Big Ten: Because you're a whore for points, that's why, even if this is a reheat of an earlier 45-22 Purdue win in West Lafayette where Purdue shot up 31-0 before Central put up 22 consolation points. Central Michigan features Dan LeFevour, only the second player to pass for 3,000 yards and rush for a thousand in a season evarrrr, but doing this in the MAC versus Ball State does not get you the flashbulb pornography enjoyed by Vince Young when he did it.
CMU did win the MAC despite having the 106th ranked defense in the nation, meaning Curtis Painter should easily broach his 360 yards he put up on CMU in Pointsgush Part One. Which means, SEC or Pac-10 honks, that even the ninth-place team from the Big Ten can waste the Mac Champion. Try and sleep tonight thinking of that, hater. Just try and sleep with that in your brain.
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Is the NCAA campaigning against the team name Chippewas?
by Brian on Dec 26, 2007 4:04 PM EST reply actions
Oh, I’ll sleep well…. don’t worry.
The 1.5 liter bottle of cabernet downstairs says so.
by GamecockTony on Dec 26, 2007 4:09 PM EST reply actions
I’ve been driven to the good slate of English Premier League games broadcast on Fox Soccer channel today. I can’t wait for the real bowls to start, but this year’s offerings are weaker overall than usual.
by oc phil on Dec 26, 2007 4:57 PM EST reply actions
“I cant wait for the real bowls to start, but this years offerings are weaker overall than usual.”
oh if only there could be an SEC team in every game, then surely each bowl would transcend being merely “entertaining” (as we mere mortals call it) and become “fanorgasmantabulous,” a word only used on the higher plane of existence from which all SEC recruits hail.
where milk tastes like honey, and all treaties with native americans are honored
by bup bup bup on Dec 26, 2007 5:04 PM EST reply actions
Meatwad: “Motor City Ball’s in Detroit this year.”
Frylock: “Wow…Detroit.”
by Rickdog on Dec 26, 2007 5:26 PM EST reply actions
Brian @ #1:
No. Central Michigan has an agreement with the Saginaw (MI) Chippewa Band allowing use of the name, much like Florida State and Utah with the Florida Seminoles and Northern Utes.
by Chuck on Dec 26, 2007 5:28 PM EST reply actions
I wonder if that could be the subcommandante in the photo holding the pennant….
or maybe his sister…..
by Futbawl Fan on Dec 26, 2007 5:46 PM EST reply actions
As the lone (i’m assuming) CMU grad whom is a regular in these parts, even I don’t want to watch this game for a second time.
But I will.
FIRE UP CHIPS!!
by Jerkwheat on Dec 26, 2007 5:52 PM EST reply actions
Something about that picture looks like the aftermath of the song “Detroit Rock City”……
“…Twelve oclock, I gotta rock……Theres a truck ahead, lights starin at my eyes……..
Oh my god, no time to turn…….
I got to laugh cause I know Im gonna die……
Why????
Get up-Everybodys gonna move their feet
Get up-Everybodys gonna leave their seat
Gonna lose ya mind in Detroit.rock. city.
by Mr Pelican Pants on Dec 26, 2007 5:54 PM EST reply actions
Orson (Spencer),
Got the book for X-mas. Hysterical, my friend. Hysterical.
-G
by Gary Busey on Dec 26, 2007 6:12 PM EST reply actions
Just to clarify… is “Utopia Night Club within Thunderbowl Lanes” a bowling alley with a night club or is it a night club with a bowling alley?
by Hokie Andrew on Dec 26, 2007 6:16 PM EST reply actions
Why does everyone keep saying that there’s gonna be a ton of points? Purdue’s defense isn’t great or terrible. It’s average, as you mentioned allowed 22 consolation points to CMU, and held OSU’s “explosive” offense to 20-something. (Obviously, OSU’s not an explosive offense, but that’s how it was described in the week leading up to the game)
I expect another blow-out, or Curtis Painter to shit himself completely and lose the game by throwing interceptions in Purdue territory allowing CMU to only have 30 yards to go to score.
by Kyle on Dec 26, 2007 6:18 PM EST reply actions
Flashbulb pornography!
The Holiday respite has put new lead in your pencil, sir.
by NRBQ on Dec 26, 2007 6:32 PM EST reply actions
Gary Busey: Spencer Hall’s book was hysterical? You mean the one about Wordsworth poetry? Hmm…
by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me on Dec 26, 2007 6:33 PM EST reply actions
Seriously, though, do they still make cassette tapes?
For that matter, has anyone even set foot in a music store lately?
by Darkknight on Dec 26, 2007 7:13 PM EST reply actions
CMU also got blown out by North Dakota State
the MAC sucks
by Tim on Dec 26, 2007 7:17 PM EST reply actions
SKLM, prance around a bunch of daffodils all you want, with your Wordsworth poetry….that is springtime enlightenment. Not late season football.
Your link…are you an Amazon whore?
Enlighten me bitch!
by nick saben on Dec 26, 2007 7:46 PM EST reply actions
talk about photoshop!
http://www.spymac.com/details/?2316383
by Perez on Dec 26, 2007 8:08 PM EST reply actions
So, WFVU…
what’s it gonna take for me to sell you this shiny new Butch Jones?
by Jerkwheat on Dec 26, 2007 8:21 PM EST reply actions
Curtis Painter looks like the kid who ate paste in kindergarten.
Yes, this means I’m watching the Motor City Bowl.
by Land of Os(borne) on Dec 26, 2007 8:23 PM EST reply actions
#17, Nick Saben:
Ha!!!!! I guess there is an evil Spencer Hall that likes poetry and a good one that likes college footbaw.
Amazon? Only once in a while do I buy from them.
Regarding enlighteningment, I only ‘enlighten’ ladies with nice big hooters.
by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me on Dec 26, 2007 9:11 PM EST reply actions
Hadn’t thought about Kentucky Fried Movie for a while. Thanks for the junior high flashbacks.
by white-boned demon on Dec 26, 2007 9:17 PM EST reply actions
If there’s a bowl in your neck of the woods, in which a team from your conference participates, you’d appreciate it if it wasn’t run on the cheap.
Dinner and free bowling. Seriously? What is this, Milwaukee? Until a couple of years ago, the MCB used to make participant clubs pay for their own meals. It’s run in an incredibly half- assed manner.
They either need a sponsor to get serious with this bowl, or just get rid of it. It’s really embarrassing.
by UT Alum on Dec 26, 2007 10:55 PM EST reply actions
Was there a “‘Big Jim Slade’ former tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs” sighting at the game?
by lance harbor on Dec 27, 2007 12:51 AM EST reply actions
I watched it. I watched every last second of it.
And i loved it, every last non-defense playing minute. It was like eating moonpies and chugging Mello-Yello for 4 hours.
I feel so dirty.
by bitterhorn on Dec 27, 2007 12:51 AM EST reply actions
I watched it to see Dan Lefevour. Season numbers were impressive and he almost did the Tebow with 19 rushing TDs to go with his 30 or so passing TDs.
Also Central Michigan comes to UGA next year, which I think is an okay OOC team to schedule.
Now that I see that defense I don’t think it will be close at all.
by Rival on Dec 27, 2007 2:33 AM EST reply actions
i was hoping for another attempt at the “swinging gate”
by lola on Dec 27, 2007 3:58 AM EST reply actions
A December bowl game isn’t worth a damn without a ton of points on both sides, and the Motor City Bowl passed.
by John on Dec 27, 2007 9:00 AM EST reply actions
Butch Jones will fit in just fine at WVU with that high flying offense, let’s ignore defense philosophy….
by Last Dragon on Dec 27, 2007 9:12 AM EST reply actions
#31
After watching that game, its good to see the players adhering to the rules of 2 hand touch and 3 Mississippi Rush…This game offensive plan looked like my backyard football team
by Mr Pelican Pants on Dec 27, 2007 9:46 AM EST reply actions
“Also Central Michigan comes to UGA next year, which I think is an okay OOC team to schedule.”
Especially when they’re behind rival GT and at Arizona State on the OOC difficulty list. Put that with playing the big three from the SECW (and a 4 week stretch of at LSU, UF in Jax, at UK, and at Auburn) and you have yourself one insane schedule. In today’s CFB that’s a very bad thing.
by Because They Can on Dec 27, 2007 10:38 AM EST reply actions
Hey, I’m from Allen Park, and I can say that Thunderbowl Lanes is the SHIT, man.
by Dave on Dec 28, 2007 2:29 PM EST reply actions
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