We swear there’s football content coming. With a chance to write about America’s best-dressed coach and dinner guest, FAU coach Howard Schnellenberger, there’s no chance of this NOT happening before 2 p.m.

However, we’ve caught Festivus fever, and nothing can stop us from posting the finest in both bad and awesome Christmas music. If your list does not include “White Christmas,” you can be forgiven; it’s played to death, a bit sleepy, and was once used as the theme of a proposed float for the KKK in a Tennessee parade during our youth. If you’re not feeling it, that’s just fine by us.

Take yourself to the wastelands, though, if you piss on Mele Kalikimaka, because the song fills us with total and complete joy. Pair it with the pool scene from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and let simmer for three minutes. Randy Quaid was thin back then, man.