Christmas music for the shallow secular urban hipster is a mixed bag: put on any CD, and you’ll inevitably have your campy, egg-nog chugging materialist drunkfest interrupted by references to Jesus, the manger, and all sorts of somber, godly stuff that really can harsh a good buzz. As brother Cuddles put it, “I like Christmas music that doesn’t have the sad Jesus stuff on it.”

We couldn’t agree more, though we understand that every collection has to have some of it. So fine, you wanna drag the party down go ahead and have your Silent Night, but you’re not getting it easy, and you’re not getting it without Kip Winger breaking it down nasty-like at the end.

If you hate us now, we’ll understand. We hate ourselves for remembering this existed.