HEY, A BIG CFL PLAYER’S CRAPPING ON YOUR HOUSE.
HT: With Leather.
Neighbor: Jeez, Ted. That’s quite a thing you got there.
Ted: Thanks. Man, isn’t it awesome? It only cost four thousand dollars. It’s amazing what you can get these days.
Neighbor: Oh, my.
Ted: I know! My daughter’s teeth are totally fucked up. Like someone nailed a coral reef in her mouth. It’s wild in there. But when an opportunity comes along like this one, you have to leap, right?
Neighbor: Oh, yeah. So, you’re a huge CFL fan?
Ted: What? Holy shit, where the fuck do you breathe, man? That’s an Ohio State Buckeye, man.
Neighbor: Oh, I’m sorry. I got confused there for a second. And you went to Michigan, right?
Ted: No way! Class of ‘92, THE Ohio State University. You have to say it that way.
Neighbor: Apologies. I just assumed as much, since a huge Buckeye that looks like he’s taking a shit on someone’s house should, metaphorically speaking, go above a Michigan fan’s house.
Ted: Oh…um….hey! Just got that one! Nice!
Neighbor: No problem. Here’s a court order saying to take it down in the next 36 hours before my children get rickets. We haven’t seen the sun in three days.
Ted: Fuck.
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1
Herb says:
Facist HOA’s. That would fit in perfectly back where I come from, right next to the 10 feet tall fiberglass cows.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:21 pm
2
Roaminggator says:
that’s THE Ohio State Buckeye crapping on your house..
December 21st, 2007 at 12:22 pm
3
Oops Pow Surprise says:
I thought Robert Parish was black.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:24 pm
4
PeterPumpkinhead says:
Ok, I don’t want to hear any more crap about the big inflatable tents with the script “A”s on them.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:27 pm
5
Sherlock Hemlock says:
Yep, and he’s crapping in a two bedroom bungalo/cooler that would still be considered a mansion in SEC country. The giant fecal matter would be misconstrued as a “Fathead” wall decoration representing Nick Saban.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:29 pm
6
Scalz1 says:
+100 Sherlock.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:33 pm
7
Chilltown says:
Najeh Davenport thinks that inflatable Buckeye has the right idea.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:37 pm
8
etan says:
im still laughing my ass off as to where this guy gets something like this
December 21st, 2007 at 12:37 pm
9
Gnarls Woodson says:
“THE Ohio State University. You have to say it that way.”
This just made me laugh out loud. As I do whenever I hear someone say “THE Ohio State University.”
December 21st, 2007 at 12:39 pm
10
SpookyJuice says:
Rich Brooks thinks this is Buckeye shit
December 21st, 2007 at 12:41 pm
11
gerry dorsey says:
that dude looks reeeeaaaaaallllllly slow.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:44 pm
12
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Cryin’ Dept:
Seems to me THE buckeye is crying because LSU scored again.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:45 pm
13
MorgantownManiac says:
Y’all are just jealous.
It may be possible to be an over the top college football fan, but a mere 30′ inflatable player doesn’t even come close.
HTH.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:47 pm
14
Joshua says:
Fucking house smack? Is this what the North and Big Televen have fallen to? Damn man, I’m sorry for you and your life. I’m going outside to play now, it’s 60something degrees.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:50 pm
15
SEC Supremacist says:
Florida just scored on tOSU again.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:54 pm
16
Domer Guy says:
That thing is so Hoosier.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:57 pm
17
gerry dorsey says:
things i learned only recently dept:
hoosier = yankee redneck
December 21st, 2007 at 1:04 pm
18
Eric says:
#14 – Agreed. It seems the houses down here have gotten considerably bigger and bigger once all the companies abandoned the Rust Belt to move South.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:06 pm
19
Irwin Fletcher says:
That asshat must have had to contract out to some rigging company to get all those guy wires in place.
I would guess that the neighborhood children can’t sleep at night knowing Mighty Blue Eyes is just down the street, watching, waiting to break free of his chains to wreak havoc across the land.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:15 pm
20
Kegger says:
Seriously off-topic, but I think THIS might be decent enough indication that the DickRod at least has two brain cells. Maybe 4.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:17 pm
21
LL says:
The kids in that cul-de-sac have no shot in life if this type of garbage is being pushed on them.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:17 pm
22
Paco says:
The BCA just called. They feel Ted should have at least considered a minority inflatable.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:26 pm
23
Herb says:
That isn’t Haley Lafontaine’s house, is it?
December 21st, 2007 at 1:31 pm
24
Etch Westgrin says:
Well, their strength of schedule is certainly lilliputian.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:32 pm
25
carlinthemarlin says:
Side note on Rickets: a year or so ago there was a guy running for congress out in western Nebraska named Pete Rickets.
He didn’t win.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:33 pm
26
grizzly johnson says:
You guys are aware that the word “the” is pronounced differently when followed by a word that starts with a vowel (for example “Ohio”) than it is when the word that follows starts with a consonant right?
But yeah, proper pronunciation of the English language makes me so angry I just want to slap teeth.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:45 pm
27
Touchdown74 says:
I wonder how much they paid Rosie O’Donnell to pull that stunt off!!!
December 21st, 2007 at 1:46 pm
28
The Bull-Gator says:
So, is this the life-imitating-art of that shitty nfl commercial where they try and convince you that there are “rivalries” in the NFL and people will spend several thousand dollars to top each other? Is that what this is, because if it is, it blows rhinocerous dong.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:47 pm
29
Doug says:
You know how every time Paris Hilton spends a million dollars on a new diamond-encrusted cell-phone cozy or dog dish or whatever, someone always responds, “This is why the rest of the world hates us”?
Well, this is why the rest of the world hates Ohio State. That and the whole cooler-pooping thing.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:55 pm
30
Herbie's Raging Hardon says:
That is possibly the greatest thing I have ever seen. I’ve seen another angle of the same house, they make the whole cul de sac into a football field with complete uprights for games. It’s pretty fantastic.
December 21st, 2007 at 2:03 pm
31
goopler says:
As OSU bubble gets busted in N.O. by at home LSU (yeah, neutral site) so does Super Crapper deflate or blow away by about mid Jan.
December 21st, 2007 at 2:09 pm
32
BennyBeav says:
This stirring picture will haunt me for the ages; it’s the infinite sadness in those deep blue eyes, the silent cry for understanding from this hateful world swirling by. I can only guess at the depths of pain and malignant self doubt behind them.
Why can’t they see that even giants can be scared? That even the strongest amongst us need to be held and told that everything will be all right, that we really do have a chance to win. Why do they only call me slow, tell me that I haven’t beat any good teams, that this will all end exactly like last year? Don’t they see that a little piece of my soul dies with each passing comment? Fifty days is too long to endure this, no matter how strong. You will only see a shell of my former self on that field in New Orleans, a husk of a player. But I will fight, I must fight.
December 21st, 2007 at 2:24 pm
33
T-Bird, T-Bird I love you says:
That thing wouldn’t last a week on my street
December 21st, 2007 at 2:39 pm
34
gerry dorsey says:
why is rickets one of the most popular “punchline” dieases?? never figured out how it reached that status.
December 21st, 2007 at 2:44 pm
35
Scalz1 says:
I always thought “scury” was a much funnier disease/condition.
December 21st, 2007 at 2:59 pm
36
Scalz1 says:
or “scurvy”, actually.
December 21st, 2007 at 2:59 pm
37
Will (the other one) says:
@ #34
The Simpsons – “Who Shot Mr. Burns Pt. 2″
Though any disease mentioned by Granpa in the episode where he’s Maggie’s babysitter can work too.
My old band was planning a fake benefit for sufferers of Dropsy and the Staggers. Then we discovered Dropsy was a real disease.
December 21st, 2007 at 3:05 pm
38
The Artist Formerly Known as tOSUBuckeyes says:
I wouldn’t put down that neighborhood too much, chances are there is a future National Championship head coach cutting his teeth in that neighborhood–the football rich state of Ohio, land of the National Champions. Urban Myer, Jim Tressel, Bob Stoops, Lou Holtz, Woody Hayes, Paul Brown.
December 21st, 2007 at 3:05 pm
39
hunglikehussain says:
I once knew an elderly person that complained of “old timers disease” (Alzheimer’s) and “very close veins” (varicose veins).
December 21st, 2007 at 3:09 pm
40
NativeSon says:
Is that an O-lineman STILL in his stance from the MNC game back in January? Man, they really ARE slow.
December 21st, 2007 at 3:11 pm
41
The Artist Formerly Known as tOSUBuckeyes says:
I found Jim Tressel’s post game press conference for the NCG…provided Ohio State beats LSU.
Exchange the following words while watching:
World’s Heavyweight Champion with BCS National Champion.
Ric Flair with THE Ohio State University.
More cars with more national championships.
Big house with big stadium.
and lastly,
Lex Luger with Rich Rodriguez.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=HrXTVFx8DXs
December 21st, 2007 at 3:14 pm
42
ChiDave says:
you all can hate all you want, but you know if it was wearing blue and orange or purple and yellow you’d all be lining up outside your walmarts going cabbage patch crazy until you could buy one.
December 21st, 2007 at 3:17 pm
43
hunglikehussain says:
I want a giant inflatable gorilla with a chainsaw for a dick.
That would certainly make the neighbors green with envy.
December 21st, 2007 at 3:31 pm
44
This...Is...East Lansing says:
#37 –
Some Smeckler’s Powder usually clears the Dropsy right up.
December 21st, 2007 at 3:47 pm
45
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
When Pigs Fly Dept:
#38: tOSUBuckeyes: Great Ric Flair-Youtube video. I do not know who was funnier, the Nature Boy, or Rowdy Roddy Piper in these wrastlin’ interviews.
But, The-OSU has as much chance beating LSU in the BS-BCS game as Brittney Spears, her Lil’ Sis, or Lindsey Lohan showing some class one of these days…..
December 21st, 2007 at 4:12 pm
46
poguemahone says:
I wonder if these SEC fans realize how much they sound like the worst Ohio State fans last year at this exact time.
December 21st, 2007 at 4:19 pm
47
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
#46…worst Ohio State fans? …a bit redundant!
December 21st, 2007 at 4:34 pm
48
Will (the other one) says:
I wonder if these OSU/Big10 fans know how much they sound like Notre Dame fans did this time last year.
December 21st, 2007 at 4:34 pm
49
The Song of Hiawatha Francisco says:
@39: You know my dad?
December 21st, 2007 at 4:35 pm
50
Sherlock Hemlock says:
#42
No doubt. If this were an inflatable SEC player, you would have some of the local retards cutting each other with corn dog sticks to see who could have the privilege of moistening and blowing into the inflate valve located between the legs.
December 21st, 2007 at 6:05 pm