HEY, A BIG CFL PLAYER’S CRAPPING ON YOUR HOUSE.
HT: With Leather.
Neighbor: Jeez, Ted. That’s quite a thing you got there.
Ted: Thanks. Man, isn’t it awesome? It only cost four thousand dollars. It’s amazing what you can get these days.
Neighbor: Oh, my.
Ted: I know! My daughter’s teeth are totally fucked up. Like someone nailed a coral reef in her mouth. It’s wild in there. But when an opportunity comes along like this one, you have to leap, right?
Neighbor: Oh, yeah. So, you’re a huge CFL fan?
Ted: What? Holy shit, where the fuck do you breathe, man? That’s an Ohio State Buckeye, man.
Neighbor: Oh, I’m sorry. I got confused there for a second. And you went to Michigan, right?
Ted: No way! Class of ‘92, THE Ohio State University. You have to say it that way.
Neighbor: Apologies. I just assumed as much, since a huge Buckeye that looks like he’s taking a shit on someone’s house should, metaphorically speaking, go above a Michigan fan’s house.
Ted: Oh…um….hey! Just got that one! Nice!
Neighbor: No problem. Here’s a court order saying to take it down in the next 36 hours before my children get rickets. We haven’t seen the sun in three days.
Ted: Fuck.
Loading ...
1
Herb says:
Facist HOA’s. That would fit in perfectly back where I come from, right next to the 10 feet tall fiberglass cows.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:21 pm
2
Roaminggator says:
that’s THE Ohio State Buckeye crapping on your house..
December 21st, 2007 at 12:22 pm
3
Oops Pow Surprise says:
I thought Robert Parish was black.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:24 pm
4
PeterPumpkinhead says:
Ok, I don’t want to hear any more crap about the big inflatable tents with the script “A”s on them.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:27 pm
5
Sherlock Hemlock says:
Yep, and he’s crapping in a two bedroom bungalo/cooler that would still be considered a mansion in SEC country. The giant fecal matter would be misconstrued as a “Fathead” wall decoration representing Nick Saban.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:29 pm
6
Scalz1 says:
+100 Sherlock.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:33 pm
7
Chilltown says:
Najeh Davenport thinks that inflatable Buckeye has the right idea.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:37 pm
8
etan says:
im still laughing my ass off as to where this guy gets something like this
December 21st, 2007 at 12:37 pm
9
Gnarls Woodson says:
“THE Ohio State University. You have to say it that way.”
This just made me laugh out loud. As I do whenever I hear someone say “THE Ohio State University.”
December 21st, 2007 at 12:39 pm
10
SpookyJuice says:
Rich Brooks thinks this is Buckeye shit
December 21st, 2007 at 12:41 pm
11
gerry dorsey says:
that dude looks reeeeaaaaaallllllly slow.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:44 pm
12
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Cryin’ Dept:
Seems to me THE buckeye is crying because LSU scored again.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:45 pm
13
MorgantownManiac says:
Y’all are just jealous.
It may be possible to be an over the top college football fan, but a mere 30′ inflatable player doesn’t even come close.
HTH.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:47 pm
14
Joshua says:
Fucking house smack? Is this what the North and Big Televen have fallen to? Damn man, I’m sorry for you and your life. I’m going outside to play now, it’s 60something degrees.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:50 pm
15
SEC Supremacist says:
Florida just scored on tOSU again.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:54 pm
16
Domer Guy says:
That thing is so Hoosier.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:57 pm
17
gerry dorsey says:
things i learned only recently dept:
hoosier = yankee redneck
December 21st, 2007 at 1:04 pm
18
Eric says:
#14 – Agreed. It seems the houses down here have gotten considerably bigger and bigger once all the companies abandoned the Rust Belt to move South.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:06 pm
19
Irwin Fletcher says:
That asshat must have had to contract out to some rigging company to get all those guy wires in place.
I would guess that the neighborhood children can’t sleep at night knowing Mighty Blue Eyes is just down the street, watching, waiting to break free of his chains to wreak havoc across the land.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:15 pm
20
Kegger says:
Seriously off-topic, but I think THIS might be decent enough indication that the DickRod at least has two brain cells. Maybe 4.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:17 pm
21
LL says:
The kids in that cul-de-sac have no shot in life if this type of garbage is being pushed on them.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:17 pm
22
Paco says:
The BCA just called. They feel Ted should have at least considered a minority inflatable.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:26 pm
23
Herb says:
That isn’t Haley Lafontaine’s house, is it?
December 21st, 2007 at 1:31 pm
24
Etch Westgrin says:
Well, their strength of schedule is certainly lilliputian.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:32 pm
25
carlinthemarlin says:
Side note on Rickets: a year or so ago there was a guy running for congress out in western Nebraska named Pete Rickets.
He didn’t win.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:33 pm
26
grizzly johnson says:
You guys are aware that the word “the” is pronounced differently when followed by a word that starts with a vowel (for example “Ohio”) than it is when the word that follows starts with a consonant right?
But yeah, proper pronunciation of the English language makes me so angry I just want to slap teeth.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:45 pm
27
Touchdown74 says:
I wonder how much they paid Rosie O’Donnell to pull that stunt off!!!
December 21st, 2007 at 1:46 pm
28
The Bull-Gator says:
So, is this the life-imitating-art of that shitty nfl commercial where they try and convince you that there are “rivalries” in the NFL and people will spend several thousand dollars to top each other? Is that what this is, because if it is, it blows rhinocerous dong.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:47 pm
29
Doug says:
You know how every time Paris Hilton spends a million dollars on a new diamond-encrusted cell-phone cozy or dog dish or whatever, someone always responds, “This is why the rest of the world hates us”?
Well, this is why the rest of the world hates Ohio State. That and the whole cooler-pooping thing.
December 21st, 2007 at 1:55 pm
30
Herbie's Raging Hardon says:
That is possibly the greatest thing I have ever seen. I’ve seen another angle of the same house, they make the whole cul de sac into a football field with complete uprights for games. It’s pretty fantastic.
December 21st, 2007 at 2:03 pm
31
goopler says:
As OSU bubble gets busted in N.O. by at home LSU (yeah, neutral site) so does Super Crapper deflate or blow away by about mid Jan.
December 21st, 2007 at 2:09 pm
32
BennyBeav says:
This stirring picture will haunt me for the ages; it’s the infinite sadness in those deep blue eyes, the silent cry for understanding from this hateful world swirling by. I can only guess at the depths of pain and malignant self doubt behind them.
Why can’t they see that even giants can be scared? That even the strongest amongst us need to be held and told that everything will be all right, that we really do have a chance to win. Why do they only call me slow, tell me that I haven’t beat any good teams, that this will all end exactly like last year? Don’t they see that a little piece of my soul dies with each passing comment? Fifty days is too long to endure this, no matter how strong. You will only see a shell of my former self on that field in New Orleans, a husk of a player. But I will fight, I must fight.
December 21st, 2007 at 2:24 pm
33
T-Bird, T-Bird I love you says:
That thing wouldn’t last a week on my street
December 21st, 2007 at 2:39 pm
34
gerry dorsey says:
why is rickets one of the most popular “punchline” dieases?? never figured out how it reached that status.
December 21st, 2007 at 2:44 pm
35
Scalz1 says:
I always thought “scury” was a much funnier disease/condition.
December 21st, 2007 at 2:59 pm
36
Scalz1 says:
or “scurvy”, actually.
December 21st, 2007 at 2:59 pm
37
Will (the other one) says:
@ #34
The Simpsons – “Who Shot Mr. Burns Pt. 2″
Though any disease mentioned by Granpa in the episode where he’s Maggie’s babysitter can work too.
My old band was planning a fake benefit for sufferers of Dropsy and the Staggers. Then we discovered Dropsy was a real disease.
December 21st, 2007 at 3:05 pm
38
The Artist Formerly Known as tOSUBuckeyes says:
I wouldn’t put down that neighborhood too much, chances are there is a future National Championship head coach cutting his teeth in that neighborhood–the football rich state of Ohio, land of the National Champions. Urban Myer, Jim Tressel, Bob Stoops, Lou Holtz, Woody Hayes, Paul Brown.
December 21st, 2007 at 3:05 pm
39
hunglikehussain says:
I once knew an elderly person that complained of “old timers disease” (Alzheimer’s) and “very close veins” (varicose veins).
December 21st, 2007 at 3:09 pm
40
NativeSon says:
Is that an O-lineman STILL in his stance from the MNC game back in January? Man, they really ARE slow.
December 21st, 2007 at 3:11 pm
41
The Artist Formerly Known as tOSUBuckeyes says:
I found Jim Tressel’s post game press conference for the NCG…provided Ohio State beats LSU.
Exchange the following words while watching:
World’s Heavyweight Champion with BCS National Champion.
Ric Flair with THE Ohio State University.
More cars with more national championships.
Big house with big stadium.
and lastly,
Lex Luger with Rich Rodriguez.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=HrXTVFx8DXs
December 21st, 2007 at 3:14 pm
42
ChiDave says:
you all can hate all you want, but you know if it was wearing blue and orange or purple and yellow you’d all be lining up outside your walmarts going cabbage patch crazy until you could buy one.
December 21st, 2007 at 3:17 pm
43
hunglikehussain says:
I want a giant inflatable gorilla with a chainsaw for a dick.
That would certainly make the neighbors green with envy.
December 21st, 2007 at 3:31 pm
44
This...Is...East Lansing says:
#37 –
Some Smeckler’s Powder usually clears the Dropsy right up.
December 21st, 2007 at 3:47 pm
45
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
When Pigs Fly Dept:
#38: tOSUBuckeyes: Great Ric Flair-Youtube video. I do not know who was funnier, the Nature Boy, or Rowdy Roddy Piper in these wrastlin’ interviews.
But, The-OSU has as much chance beating LSU in the BS-BCS game as Brittney Spears, her Lil’ Sis, or Lindsey Lohan showing some class one of these days…..
December 21st, 2007 at 4:12 pm
46
poguemahone says:
I wonder if these SEC fans realize how much they sound like the worst Ohio State fans last year at this exact time.
December 21st, 2007 at 4:19 pm
47
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
#46…worst Ohio State fans? …a bit redundant!
December 21st, 2007 at 4:34 pm
48
Will (the other one) says:
I wonder if these OSU/Big10 fans know how much they sound like Notre Dame fans did this time last year.
December 21st, 2007 at 4:34 pm
49
The Song of Hiawatha Francisco says:
@39: You know my dad?
December 21st, 2007 at 4:35 pm
50
Sherlock Hemlock says:
#42
No doubt. If this were an inflatable SEC player, you would have some of the local retards cutting each other with corn dog sticks to see who could have the privilege of moistening and blowing into the inflate valve located between the legs.
December 21st, 2007 at 6:05 pm
51
Will says:
#34 & #37– the Simpsons mentioned the joke because the world’s most famous Simpson at the time was a man named Orenthal James Simpson, who happened to be accused of double-murder, and who was a childhood sufferer of rickets.
That’s what makes it funny- it was a hat tip to the malnutrition of a CFB legend turned accused felon.
December 21st, 2007 at 6:19 pm
52
oc phil says:
SKLM: What’s with all the tOSU hate today? Do you have a big regional issue and since Notre Dame is irrelevant now you have to find another midwestern school to pick on?
Actually all the young women you mentioned in #45 frequently show class. It is just of the low variety.
December 21st, 2007 at 7:02 pm
53
Albino Tornado says:
CarlintheMarlin — “that guy” named Pete Ricketts is the former COO of Ameritrade, the largest online brokerage. His family’s worth a cool 2.6 billion dollars. He was running for the U.S. Senate, not some bumfuck school board.
Also, he was born in Nebraska City and lives in Omaha, both of which are on the Missouri River. That’s the squiggly part of Nebraska’s border, which is on the EAST side.
Other than that, you know, you were 100% right.
December 21st, 2007 at 9:55 pm
54
poguemahone says:
@48
Oh, please. Even Notre Dame fans knew they had no chance last year with their secondary vs. three first round draft picks. All I’m going to say is that LSU is 70th in sacks allowed and tOSU is top-5 in sacks. What about that, or anything else, makes you so confident?
December 22nd, 2007 at 3:28 am
55
Dr. Ed PHD.XYZ says:
Top 5 against that schedule! Awesome
December 22nd, 2007 at 12:56 pm
56
StageCoach says:
@ 54 poguemahone
Shhhhhh, please let our southern friends rant on as they wish. What they never understand is that when you denigrate your opponent, you also denigrate your victory over said opponent. Not to mention the awesome humiliation that comes with having lost to said incompetent opponent.
December 22nd, 2007 at 2:08 pm
57
Dr. Ed PHD.XYZ says:
@56
What happened to that logic last year?
December 22nd, 2007 at 3:35 pm
58
justanotherbuckeye says:
@57
What happened to the Big10 being 2-1 v SEC last year? That’s logic that doesn’t fly with you right?
December 22nd, 2007 at 6:14 pm
59
poguemahone says:
Average offense Ohio State has played:
ranked 59th – averaging 395 yds/game.
Ohio State gives up 225 yds/game on average.
Average offense LSU has played:
ranked 80th – averaging 340 yds/ game
LSU gave up an average of 283 yds/ game.
So Ohio State played better offenses across the board and held under their average by more than twice the amount LSU’s D holds opposing offenses under their average. Yes, I’m a statwhore, and proud of it. But don’t pretend we haven’t played great offenses for one second.
December 22nd, 2007 at 7:34 pm
60
Dr. Ed PHD.XYZ says:
0-8 . Besides that I’ll take #1, you can have the rest.
December 22nd, 2007 at 7:54 pm
61
poguemahone says:
OSU being 0-8 versus the SEC in bowl games has as much relevance to the MNC as OSU being undefeated all-time vs. LSU.
December 22nd, 2007 at 9:31 pm
62
David Puddy says:
in the spirit of Canadian Football…JOY TO THE ROUGE!
Besides, what could be more fun than punting on 3rd down, 110-yard fields, 20-yard endzones, and uprights on the goalline? Nothing, I contend!
December 22nd, 2007 at 10:08 pm
63
StageCoach says:
@ 57
It is the same logic every year, all the time. Are there bonehead Buckeye fans? Sure, like everywhere. But I don’t know anyone who didn’t respect Florida going into the game last year. Believing in your team is as it should be. Giving respect to your oponent is also part of the deal.
When OSU loses, you invariably hear (from Tress & the players) praise of the opponent for a job well done. When the Bucks win, you hear them sing the same praises for the opponent’s talent & effort exerted. I respect that classiness from anyone willing to show it, be they Buckeye, Trojan, Wolverine, whomever. There is no more bitter rivalry than OSU-Michigan, but the games are always classy and full of respect for one another.
That said, review the things said by the Gators after last year’s MNC game. Sadly, I was not surprised to hear it from the players, but Meyer was a real disappointment. I expected more from an Ohio guy.
Congrats, sincerely, to LSU for a fine season. If my Bucks are able to pull off the impossible upset, I will be more than happy to have them as a National Champion, having defeated a really good SEC team to do it.
December 22nd, 2007 at 10:35 pm
64
Dr. Ed PHD.XYZ says:
#61
0-9 . Will that help you understand.
December 23rd, 2007 at 8:12 am
65
Socraticsilence says:
Just going out on a limb here but maybe Florida’s players said the thing aobut OSU not being that great becauase they were true, I mean from every indication we recieved last year 4-5 SEC opponents were more difficult than OSU. As for Meyer, given the crap he took about “whining an undeserving team into the game” I think he was polite in his triumph.
December 23rd, 2007 at 6:46 pm
66
Dr. Ed PHD.XYZ says:
As I remember it there were people wanting OSU to play Michigan again for the MNC. Just add a team to the televen and have a Conf. Champ game. That will solve your “layoff” problem. Plus, make some cash.
December 24th, 2007 at 1:06 am
67
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Well if tOSU played such a tough strong schedule, whats all the hub-bub?
Bravo to tOSU for finding the shortcut to the MNC by having no real Conf Championship and no bye week…all they are doing is working the system…
and finding an easy way to the MNC, just to get their eyes drilled out to a healthy, Michigan man coached LSU team…or insert your next SEC champion here________(more than likely Florida or Georgia for the next 2 yrs) ……Big 10 or Pac 10 champ vs SEC champ…dont know if Big 12 will make it back since they are like 1 outta three the last couple times they have been there….1 fer Texas, 0-2 for Okla. vs LSU and USC……I think Michigan will do better next year, should be interesting to see how a traditional Big 10 school does w/ a gimmicky offense…
December 24th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
68
Mr Pelican Pants says:
I vote Notre Dame to the Big 10….should fit right in ……
then in 4 yrs you would have some decent comp…Michigan, tOSU, Illini,ND….Zooker should make it fun for a lil bit til he gets another gig
December 24th, 2007 at 12:59 pm