BOWLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL: THE QUICKIE VERSION, SCHNELLENBERGER-STYLE

Man, if Richard Feynman can walk into a room, someone deserves a fucking medal.

Or he’s hungry for brains.

i always get florida international and florida atlantic confused. i just know schnellenberger coaches one of them.

He also was top notch as both Fuchs’ brothers in “Used Cars”.

There are balls, and then there are “Howie Balls.”

Scnhelly never met a fourth and long he didn’t like.

God, he was fun to watch at Louisville. I miss the bourbon fumes

A Richard Feynman reference? Surely you’re joking Mr. Swindle.

FAU in a bowl just degrades the whole bowl system. I know he’s a good coach, but c’mon. Shit who am I kidding, Im rooting for those bastards to win, American underdog syndrome in full effect. Go Owls!?

Sterger and her 5 best friends, or The Big 12 North;
= Six Easy Pieces.

Zing.

FAU in a bowl just degrades the whole bowl system?? That is like saying Richard Simmons degrades trainers. All of these toilet bowls could go on nicely, as-is, and not be affected on iota by a 8-team playoff made up of teams that play real college footbaw.

Gerry, Schnell’s at Florida Atlantic, home of the Fighting Fucking Burrowing Owls and hopefully the name on an MS in Anthropology this Dawg receives this summer. Go OwlDawgs or DawgOwls, whatever!

MA, not MS (fucking arts shit)

Because we Bama fans can’t help ourselves, who did HS learn his coaching from?

Also, I wish mustaches were in style. Why did we as a society say no to such a beautiful thing?

Also also, props to Schnelly for wearing a suit on the sidelines. Truly a lost art among coaches.

Someone MSPaint some red and blue Zubaz on that pic of Schnell and he’ll look like Carl. An angry grey-haired Carl.

Feynman was a peeerrrvvv! God bless him… and every Brazilian who loved him.

13

Feynman was the man. Learned Portugese in a week and quit drinking stone cold when it got in the way of his poontang conquests. That’s REAL dedication.

Roy & Luke Fuchs! “$17,500 for a Mercedes Benz 450SL??? That’s too fuckin’ high!”

1. - that’s more or less what I meant, but good calling out of my comment.

Howard Schnellenberger is your father. He fucked every last one of the women on this planet, we are all eternally indebted to his greatness…and ’stache.

How beneficent and magnanimous of the great Schnellenberger. A human being behaving humanly…Brilliant!

Go Schnell! I need FAU to make up for that hideous showing by Navy in my bracket.

Merry Fucking Christmas, Everybody!

Schnell is singlehandley responsible for bringing
Broadway Joe to the Capstone…he was told by Bear Bryant “Dont leave Pennsylvania without my QB!”
and he didnt……then Bear suspended him for a season, a few yrs later for rumors that he was drinking….
Can you imagine Urban Meyer suspending Tim Tebow for drinking? for a season? like next year?

You don’t dump Gatorade on Howard Schnellenberger…You bathe him in a jacuzzi of the finest oils of the Orient, serenade him with Christmas classics with a live appearance by Mannheim Steamroller, and feed him the sweetest figs and dates from the Mesopotamian valley between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers.

And to top it off, splash him with the bold, masculine scent of Charles Bronson’s Mandom.

Only a true gentleman would command such attention. Every other mere mortal of a coach can have a spit-filled Gatorade bath, but not Howard Schnellberger.

Be careful with how you talk about Bronson. Dude can pull of a death wish from the grave.

How long has gerry dorsey been on this site?

FAU is the school that did NOT have the legendary A’Mod Ned storming the beaches of Normandy, err, Miami.

Speaking of the FAU Owls, I give you this brilliance:
You know that Jonny Wurster kid, the kid that delivers papers in the neighborhood. He’s a foreign kid. Some of the neighbors say he smokes crack, but I don’t believe it.

Anyway, for his tenth birthday, all he wanted was a Burrow Owl. Kept bugging his old man. “Dad, get me a burrow owl. I’ll never ask for anything else as long as I live.” So the guy breaks down and buys him a burrow owl.
Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out in my yard, and there’s the Wurster kid, looking up in the tree. I ay, “What are you looking for?” He says “I’m looking for my burrow owl.”

I say, “Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick. Everybody knows the burrow owl lives. In a hole. In the ground. Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?” Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that is going to know what the queers are doing to the soil?

Schnelly underrated? I’d believe it if he had ever managed to beat Oklahoma State.

#22
+100 for Dead Milkmen ref….
Yeh, but their building landing strips for gay martians….

#19
I tried making the same request “The Schell Treatment”, and have my wife do all what you listed there for me…..Simply told me to go fuck myself….

#23

Howard Schnellenberger single-handedly destroyed the Carthaginians in the 3rd Punic War (not the Romans, the Schnellenberger). He obviously has much greater tasks at hand than wasting away his efforts in the barren, desolute territory known as the
“Stillwater.”

Besides, he’s on his way to Africa as we speak to claim the Western Sahara territory for his own, private beach (Boca Raton’s getting full).

Schnellenberger is a bad-ass all right, but let’s hope a gatorade shower doesnt send him to the other side George Allen style.