Ohio State loses a starting corner for the national title game, meaning you can crank up the "ESS-EEE-SEE Speed" argument when Early Doucet finds a mismatch and slips loose for a 60-yarder in the game, thus beginning one of the least intelligent arguments in the history of the sport.

OSU fan: Our starter was suspended! There was a fifty day layoff!

LSU fan: WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! We're too fast down hyah woooOOOOOOO!!!!

(Repeat until stupefied.)

Starting cornerback Donald Washington and backup Eugene Clifford will miss the game for "violating team rules," a nod to likely academic problems and nothing of the Fulmer Cup variety. Redshirt freshman Chimdi Chekwa will start in his place, who LSU offensive coordinator is looking at as if he were a pork chop with legs.

Donald Washington: out for title game.