CURIOUS INDEX, 12/20/07


You took his job, so he'll take yours, too. Tennessee assistant Trooper Taylor's departure from the University of Tennessee is not good news for the Vols. Taylor was largely regarded as the best recruiter on the staff and a great golden god of a coach, and his new job at co-offensive coordinator for OK State leaves the Vols down two spots on the offensive coaching staff (OC David Cutcliffe took the head job at Duke, meaning that if the Vols just wait two years, they can have him back.)

The Trooper story gives us yet another excuse to post Iron Maiden. Pardon us while we get out the stretchy pants and lean over our amp to tell you a story of gunsmoke, glory, and death.

The latest installment of Dan Hawkins' "Bloggin' with Hawk" may contain the most motivational material per pixel we've ever seen in a single website. We counted: nine boxes of motivational quote and a whole long piece we imagine Colorado players are forced to recite while Coach Hawkins goes around with a wireless headset mike clapping and screaming "SI SE PUEDE! SI SE PUEDE!!!" This doesn't even mention the crypto-Marxist definition of a "blue-collar player" outlined at the top.

A blue-collar worker is an idiom referring to a member of the working class who performs manual labor. Blue-collar workers are distinguished from white collar workers, whose jobs are not as physically demanding or considered manual labor. The term blue-collar occasionally carries a persona based on historical perspective. The blue-collar worker in the United States is an embodiment of the American mythos of a work ethic and the dignity of labor.

Football players of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your jockstraps. Under that definition, we think Colt Brennan qualifies as some kind of glorified postmaster or FedEx employee.

In case you think you have something to complain about, you do not. Darrell Mack doesn't, and he's got as big a beef with the universe as anyone we can think of, Andy Dick excepted, of course.

Gupta, bitches. Gupta. Michigan can claim another double victory: not only can they claim one of the most recognized fake doctors on the planet, House, they claim Sanjay Gupta, as well, who says he's already renewed his season tickets thanks to the hiring of Rich Rodriguez. The fact that House went to Michigan means that Peter King just put Rich Rodriguez fourth on his rusty trombone list for the week, just behind Favre, Romo, and Hugh Laurie.

Don't ever change, angel-eyes. Because you can't. [NAME REDACTED], caught attempting to talk and think at the same time:

“You use history to understand what has happened in the past,” Zook said.

If you go home, smoke three or four bowls of Kryptonite, and then reread that, you will wake up on your couch and see the very seams of the universe, grasshopper.

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