TMQ FAILS TO ENRAGE US ADEQUATELY
Jew-hatin’ Gregg Easterbrook sometimes deigns to write about college football, and oh how do we love to attempt to bring out the sharp knives when he does that. I mean, when he writes shit like this…
In Division I, coaches are little gods, the players are for the most part obedient, and the football-factory schools hold such huge advantages in recruiting and gimmick schedules that an orangutan could coach a Top 25 team to bowl eligibility. In Division I, coaches throw clipboards if they don’t win by five touchdowns.
…I mean, how can he…
Oh. Um, nice little piece there, Gregg. Walking on, not looking up, hey, don’t you want some coffee (whistling)…or we would walk straight by if NASA-porn fan Easterbrook hadn’t included this blatant and complete falsehood a bit further down.
On the flip side, consider that Penn State under Joe Paterno never runs up the score.
The data set for countering this point is decades deep, but most recently Florida International would like to raise a strenous objection to this statement. With that point refuted, we now allow TMQ to go back to masturbating to the Hubblecast. Ohhhh, the resolution is so…clear…AHHHHHHH….
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1
yoyofutbawl says:
I thought Nick Saban had the trademark rights to The Weasel. We need a ruling from Swindle Industries on this.
December 19th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
2
Kevin McGuire says:
Of course if Penn State didn’t beat Florida International by 59 everybody would have said “See! Penn State’s not that good!” and the arguments about Penn State’s mediocrity would arise from…..oh wait, they are mediocre.
December 19th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
3
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Orangutan, Coach Dept:
Why insult the poor simians?
December 19th, 2007 at 1:33 pm
4
Biggus Rickus says:
So…um, a Rolls golfcart?
December 19th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
5
kleph says:
ROLFCART, perhaps?
December 19th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
6
Jerkwheat says:
The fuck is gimmick scheduling?
Did I miss Petrino Bobble-Contract night?
December 19th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
7
Brian says:
He must be a good recruiter, his ride don’t even have Dubs and 22’s.
December 19th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
8
TIGERinATL says:
I like the NFL too. But the talent is so even that it’s almost sterile.
I think the difference between CFB and NFL football can be summed up as follows: NFL games are decided by the losing team making more mistakes, while college games are decided by the winning team making more plays.
Obviously there are exceptions, but I think these generalizations hold some validity.
December 19th, 2007 at 1:51 pm
9
john r says:
i’m sure when he was coaching UF, his golf cart had a hemi.
December 19th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
10
DC Trojan says:
NFL games are decided by the losing team making more mistakes,
So Reggie Ball was an NFL-caliber QB then?
December 19th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
11
Biggus Rickus says:
DC Trojan,
Based on some of the guys who have logged starting time this year, maybe.
December 19th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
12
UgasTexan says:
#2: Um, Kevin? Yes, well, Penn State isn’ t that good anyway.
December 19th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
13
OpenTheKomodo says:
Penn St. never runs up the score? That’s funny, considering there’s a Penn St. football blog called “Run Up the Score.”
*facepalm
I used to enjoy Easterbrook…before I decided that NASA, Star Trek and 5,000 word treatises weren’t always the best components of a football column.
December 19th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
14
Reed says:
I saw in the headline that he had bothered to address the college game and chose to ignore his column like I always do. Thanks for reminding me why that was a good decision.
Does this mean that interloper season has officially begun? Somebody tell Mitch Albom it’s time for his two cents again…
December 19th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
15
Mr. Wrong says:
TMQ does have a point about about over-valuing (and over-paying) coaches. But, what the hell else are we going to talk about during our 30-some day layoff?
Oh, and fuck Mitch Albom in the eye.
December 19th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
16
Sherlock Hemlock says:
Eye fucking! That explains those ridiculously long ears!
December 19th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
17
Erik says:
He’s got some sound points, usually. He’s also an ass.
He’s doubly an ass this week for thinking that Mike Price is a job-bouncing opportunist. Aside from the Alabama mess, he’s never coached anywhere less than seven years (not counting UTEP, 2004-present). The strip club fiasco didn’t exactly make him look good, but it had nothing to do with job-hopping either.
December 19th, 2007 at 3:40 pm
18
Dante says:
I never knew there was such animosity for the TMQ. I’ve been reading his column since he was over at salon. I wouldn’t say it’s my favorite weekly article but it’s always at least an interesting read and on Tuesday I usually have the spare time.
Near as I can tell, Gimmick scheduling would be the football factory schools scheduling so many weak opponents that they are guaranteed a bowl game. Of course college football fans don’t call that gimmick scheduling. They just call it scheduling. That’s one of the few places where I really agree with him on college football. I’d still like to see a college football world where each team plays 10 or more games per year that they have a reasonable shot at losing.
December 19th, 2007 at 4:09 pm
19
TIGERinATL says:
#18
If “gimmick scheduling” were outlawed and your “10 losable games” rule instated, then who would mid-majors ever play? They would have to become a new 1AA and the current 1AA would be 1AAA.
December 19th, 2007 at 4:16 pm
20
Big 11th Blog says:
//Penn St. never runs up the score? That?s funny, considering there?s a Penn St. football blog called ?Run Up the Score.? //
In all seriousness, and this is not an “in all seriousness” blog, so it’s pretty moronic to post something serious in the comments section of of said blog, but PSU doesn’t run up the score. Thus the reason RUTS did a good job naming his blog. Its the reason they lost the MNC to Nebraska in the 90’s (see Indiana game).
The fact that the score was lopsided has a lot to do with FIU being an airport and not a college. Besides that, they might be the 150th best football team in the ncaa this season, maybe. Three QBs and like 47 running backs played during the second half of that game for PSU, you can only do so much to not score.
December 19th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
21
Run Up The Score says:
The weird part is, there’s a line in the PSU fight song that says “We’ll hit that line, roll up the score”. And I didn’t even use that. I just like the concept of running up the score, whether the victim is a keg of Yuengling, a garbage full of weed (Bam Morris, call me!) or Coastal Carolina.
Anyway, Paterno tends to avoid RUTSing if at all possible, and I don’t think that the FIU game is a particularly good example. It’s not like Paterno suddenly invoked the spirit of Spurrier — four of the last five TD drives were less than 40 yards.
A good data point in this discussion is the 2005 Illinois game. Penn State didn’t throw a single pass in the second half.
December 19th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
22
Run Up The Score says:
Also, that would be “garbage bag”. Or garbage can. Or even a truck.
December 19th, 2007 at 5:56 pm
23
Dante says:
#19, are you joking or are you seriously touting that as a reason not to play tougher schedules? I fail to see the downside there.
In an ideal world, there wouldn’t need to be a rule, just athletic directors concerned with making sure each game is competitive. It would be kind of fun to have an “X losable game” rule even if X is a low number just because the bigger teams are going to have to label some of their games not losable and that label would have to be sanctioned by the NCAA. That’s got to be some locker room motivation for the underdogs.
December 19th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
24
bevo says:
Every Easterbrook column written:
blah… don’t blitz… blah… Science fiction bitch and moan… blah… go for it on fourth down.. blah… cheerleader… blah… use words like animadversion that ensure I never get laid.. blah.. repeat ad infinitum… blah.. cash ESPN check.
Clip this boys and girls so you can do something more interesting with your lives like watch paint dry.
December 19th, 2007 at 9:40 pm
25
oc phil says:
I very seldom read TMQ and now I remember why. The first part of that column about giving too much credit and blame to coaches was dead on though.
#19: I see no problem with that scenario.
If I were supreme potentate of college football, I’d say that any game against a 1AA team can’t count towards bowl eligibility. I think the only conference who handled the recent expansion of the schedule the right way was the Pac 10. Making every school play an extra-conference game rather than a cupcake was the correct decision. It does make the league LOOK worse in the conference pissing matches though since 1/2 the teams have to pick up a loss rather than them all just crushing cupcakes (except for the occasional HOT HOT HOT upset of course).
December 20th, 2007 at 2:59 am
26
Not a Fifer says:
#24
And : my 12 year old knows the rules better than officials blah, blah, blah, I coach a kids’ football team better than NFL coaches, blah, blah, blah.
The only good thing you can say about him is that Peter King is worse.
December 20th, 2007 at 5:31 am
27
Not a Fifer says:
[pedant mode] It looks like a Rolls Royce grille, but with an eagle rather than the Flying Lady; so either a half-arsed attempt or avoiding RR IP issues.[/pedant mode]
December 20th, 2007 at 5:35 am
28
TIGERinATL says:
#s 23 and 25
Look, I don’t like scheduling 1-AA teams AT ALL – and my school has scheduled its share, for sure. I’m all for outlawing those games all together, or maybe not allowing any team that scheduled one to play in a BCS bowl, which would wipe it out from the big-boy schools (where is is most rediculous) all together.
But teams in the upper half of the major confrences couldn’t even play 8 conference games without having at least 4 practically guaranteed wins. Hell, the Big T(elev)en only has 3 ranked teams in the whole league.
I would also like to see the mid majors be split off somehow, because those teams really have no national championship they can even play for. Perhaps, if we ever get a D1A playoff, we can have a D1A NIT for those schools — NIT games in the afternoon and Big Boy tourny at night.
But if we cut off scheduling of CUSA, MAC, WACC etc. by BCS conference schools, then I hope you like the idea of the national champion having a 0.750 winning percentage, which is what you’ll get. Maybe that would be best. I don’t really know.
December 20th, 2007 at 8:59 am
29
dmoney350z says:
When you see names like Larry Federoff and Graham Zug in the box score, that should tell you Penn State wasn’t running up the score on anyone….
December 20th, 2007 at 5:50 pm