SCHADENFREUDE, REVIEWED IN FULL

Orson

I just finished reading the article, came to your site and found instructions (caps lock or not) to go read the article I had just finished.

Congrats on your runner-up finish, although I thought your’s was the better option. Then again, I thought OSU would beat Florida last year, so what the fuck do I know?

You were robbed Orson. A shame really, that was some good work.

nuts and bolts, Orson, nuts and bolts

Amendment to my List of Qualities Possessed By The Woman Of My Dreams:

Add—willingness to wear bacon lingerie.

Now I’m willing to concede the feasibility of bacon-thong/boyshorts/bottom undies for comfort (and b/c I’m sure bacon grease and ladyparts wouldn’t agree) but let’s get cracking on bacon bra designs here.

And here’s a what if schadenfreude for you: what if Reggie Ball had transferred to ND and Weiss was his coach this year (remember, he’d have to sit out a year due to transfer rules.)

The Alabama fan at the end took the loss to Auburn much better than I did.

Even I (the biggest bama hater you’ll ever meet) am astonished by the “only see them at funerals because were Bama fans” line.

1. - question:

Is the bacon cooked? Because crispy underwear doesn’t sound too appealing and neither does raw bacon.

Maybe cold cuts instead? Salami bra cups suspended with sausage link straps and roast beef panties.

b/c I’m sure bacon grease and ladyparts wouldn’t agree

You got your ladyparts in my bacon grease!

You got your bacon grease on my ladyparts!

(from the forthcoming book on pillow talk by C. Weis and M. Mangino).

If you’re cooking bacon until its crispy then you don’t know what you are doing in the world of breakfast (or womens’ intimate apparel) making.

The mental image of a Weis / Mangino tummy tag romp, complete with bacon grease in lieu of the oh so passe massage oil, is almost too much to bear.

my eyes…the googles do nothing….

No I have to go bathe my eyes with lye and a steel wool brush…

#9
The sick part about that image is, that if their bellies were wet, their belly buttons would be like plungers and the suction would be so strong you could never get them apart if they ever bumped bellies, instant suction……

#11, probably only if their stomachs were shaved first. Hair gets in the way and interrupts the suction. That’s why when you get older, your ass cheeks stop sticking together.

Now you know, and knowing is half the battle!

Madison Avenue are you listening?

During the holiday season men are bombarded with advertisements for the latest “prestige” perfume, knowing that we will go out on Christmas Eve and buy this olfactory irritating crap because we can’t afford the Lexus with the big red bow and it’s just easier. We don’t like to shop!

Give me a woman that smells like cheese grits and fried pork chops…eau de Waffle House, if you will. A woman with such scents is an Aphrodite and deserves only the finest and patient foreplay.

1. - I don’t know what your level of bacon cooking/eating experience is, but you are dead fucking wrong. Nothing is worse than slimy, sloppy (thanks Jesco) under cooked bacon. It should be just a little brown when you take it off the skillet. It’s limp then, but dries and hardens in about 30 seconds on the plate. Crunchy, fatty goodness, aaauuugghhh…

Damn I’m hungry.

Ooooh, leading a post with a dictionary definition. Elegant!

#12
Thanks GI Joe……..