I'M MIKE WILBON, AND I'M OLD

I’M 49! I’M A WRITER!

/someone was gonna do it, right?

Hmmm . . . I’m only 40, but I’m driving a 1998 car. I guess that’s a push with Wilbon on the oldometer.

If I was forced to converse with Tony Kornheizer daily, I’d feel the weight of about 20 extra years as well.

I don’t get it, therefore I must be old.

Oh Wilbon! You remind me of my crusty old Republican father! ‘Cept you’re black and lame. He’s 53 … straight to the grave that one! He, unfortunately, remembers when Ole Miss mattered and is proud to be an Ole Miss alum (oh, how times have changed!). Being his daughter, more than half his age, I remember all the lame shit that is referenced … while talking about being old and “kids these days” is obnoxious at any age… well that all I got. I’m too young to have any insight.

Nothing wrong with being an Ole Miss alum. Football pride? not so much. But it’s not like they are praying to a statue of Archie and awaiting their savior. That’s a different long-since-relevant program.

Wilbon says, “Because I am black and this post is mocking me, Orson is obviously racist. There could be no other motivation.”

1. - I’m only 24 and drive a ‘99 hand -me-down Wrangler … holy shit. But well I only obtained a drivers’ license in – gasp – ’99 so hold the phone… Am I old?

1. - I just enjoy making fun of his and my brother’s affiliation. The past is all they got to refute me with. It’s cute.

DEYS AHHLLL KINDSA ISMS GOIN ON IN DIS BITCH HEAH!

I’m so old, when I was a kid nickles had bees on them. “Gimme five bees for a quarter” you’d say.

/Abraham Simpson

1. TIGERinATL
   You once wrote in a post that you could not make a comment (even if the post had nothing to do with Alabama) without mentioning Alabama. Unlike most 5*, you do live up to the hype. Is it typing Tourette’s?

Sarah, I’m not an alum, but I imagine there are people that have graduated within the past week that are proud of their Ole Miss degree.

We get it. You’re a self loathing Southerner. Move on.

My car? It’s a 2003. No, it doesn’t run on sabretooth piss, just regular gasoline, though I cry a little when I fill up my tank. After all, the fossilized remains of my childhood playmates are what’s keeping my car going! I’m 49!

That’s one of the funniest lines you’ve ever written.

I’m 19 and I don’t know what Twitter is.

Shoot…you got all these people savin’ up their whole lives to turn 60 and read a blog. You can read blogs now and you’re 49!

I’m proud as hell of my Southern land-grant university degree, though I do sometimes feel like Orson, who got scholarships and worked his way through school, earned his a bit more than I did (thanks Mom and Dad, though I know football ticket access WAS a major consideration).

Well TCOAN, I’m proud of my UGA degree… but no one else seems to be. We’re land grant yet I had both HOPE and Mom and Dad’s money. Well Mom’s… she’s a badass lawya, my DID go to to school in Mississippi.

*my dad DID… etc is what I meant. Lord… too much wine.

And no self- loathing here. I guess what I should have said is, “proud of and thinks his football might pull it out/ land in a bowl.” He is old. Anyways, my little brother will have an Ole Miss degree in May and we’ll all be glad; there is no offense meant to the school … even though it was one of the only places he got in.

Well, let’s see…

Sarah

A) takes every opportunity possible to rip on anything Southern
B) brags about Mom being a “badass lawyer,” which I am guessing she would not be doing if the roles were reversed in her emasculated house

What have we learned?

Nobody on EDSBS, where 9 out of every 10 posters are ex fraternity boys and current lawyers or are in law school, wants to date her.

Conversely, she did make me agree with Chg, so that is something.

You are a uniter, not a divider, obviously.

“Old? Hell, I have always been old. I have drank, smoked, danced, fought, bled, and loved in order to earn every wrinkle, scar, and gray hair that I have. You say “old” like it is a curse. A curse? I consider it to be an honor…..plus every year there are a new crop of 21 yrd chicks that dig old guys with money"—-Rich Rodriquez

HAHAHAHA! Sorry … I’ll try to be more date-able in the future.

Oh, and Sarah, it is almost 8PM, less than a week before Christmas, and I am at work.

And….

I am an attorney.

So, enjoy Christmas break.

Woot! I’m number 10! I’m number 10!

Neither fraternal nor litigious, I love being . Gawd Bless land-grant schools.

Hell, I’d date Sarah, but I have an incredible weakness (fetish, maybe?) for SEC chicks. She’d kick me to the curb in about a week, though- too snarky.

umm, “being different”. Stupid land-grant school degree…

I apologize that you’re still at work … but UNFORTUNATELY, God I do hate myself – I’m in school to become an attorney. 2 years and I’ll feel your pain. The self-loathing is more about that about that shit decision than caring about the South. Breaks and alcohol keep me sane.

6 -

Better to have those memories to look back on than nothing at all. Wait, never mind, your team has beaten its rival 6 times in a row, during the worst time in your rival’s history since the 50’s, which, coincidentally, was the last time your team had such a streak or any sort of championship to speak of. No one else in the country has ever done that, not even your rival, who only had a 9 game streak…oh, damn.

But don’t worry, Bama will NEVER win again! Ever. It’s impossible b/c it’s no longer a big program and no top shelf kids would ever go there, so they’ll never have the athletes to compete, say, in 2-3 years. NEVER!

#25
Agree whole heartedly….our time has passed and our future is dim…hopefully we can merge with Troy to improve our football fortunes…..I guess it was better to be a “has been” than a “never was”….Tell me we cryogentically froze the Hat of Bear Bryant in a crypt beneath Denny Chimes…please….our own Holy Grail….

I’m so old, I thought" Miracle on 34th St" was the story of a hooker that took a check….just sayin…..

I’m 49 and I read blogs. However I have no idea what Twitter is and I have pretty much avoided Facespace and Mybook.

1. You fucking lawyers always talk about work and what time it is, yet your kind is always posting on the blogs or sitting in a bar. Christmas break is never ends, right? You people are like priests, except you don’t molest my other girlfriend’s son. God bless you all.

I would date Sarah, but only because I have a shitload of GHB to slip into her drink if I get sick of hearing her voice.

Do Ole Miss folk still wave the Slave Flag down in Oxford?

I must be part of the 10% then since I neither belonged to a frat nor am an attorney.

As for being at work at 8 – c’mon Coop, where’s your enthusiasm for the law? One of our old neighbors was a litigation associate with Akin Gump in town – and her hours make you look as idle as I in fact am.

I like southern girls too, but I’ve been deathly scared of the consequences for about 18 months now, ever since orson’s post about southern girls being like female praying mantids.

See, the reason that Lawyas and consultants (me) can spend so much time on here is because you can spend 15 mins reading stuff between each different job you bill time towards—-or at least that’s MY story.

slow day if you feel the need to waste time mocking wilbon for some innocent, honest (not malicious) comments

Sarah’s comments – and the anger they inspired – make me want to say something cro-magnon like…KEEP THE CHICKS OUT OF THE BLOG, MAN!

But Holly, TCOAN and others snap my mind back to the 21st century.

I hate to jack the thread away from questions of commenter date-ability, but on the heels of Stephen A. Smith’s comments about the danger of blogs being that they allow people without proper training to disseminate their opinions, Wilbon’s comment seems like Bristol is gearing up for a jihad on the 5th estate. More detailed reaction to Smith here:
http://thegurglingcod.typepad.com/thegurglingcod/2007/12/while-my-guitar.html

If you’ve ever heard Stephen A. Smith you know that he is a one trick pony. MOST DEFINITELY

For that idiot to make a comment like that is laughable at best.

Pretty sure Wilbon went to Northwestern….not Ole Miss

O- Is it time to bring back the 52 Reasons to Hate ESPN link to the front page?

Wilbon’s an arrogant prick. He never has anything positive to say about Alabama because he thinks we are all racist. I hate Wilbon. Kornheiser is ok.

How did the Ole Miss hate get dragged into this?

Im not sure how Ole Miss got dragged in. I think someone said something about Wilbon going to Ole Miss but he didnt….he went to NW like I said.

2 post ago….completely agree. I like PTI but when it’s Wilbon and LeBatard, i want to shoot my tv because LeBatard is a prick homer who is too busy riding the city of Miami’s flaming cock to think for himself and Wilbon has no problem agreeing. He doenst understand big time college football so he condemns everything that comes with it because his shitty football team tops out at 6 wins every year and the cubs cant find their dick in a mirror half the time.