FSU: THE NAMES, THE SHAME

by Orson on Dec 19, 2007 11:16 AM EST

You know we're biased, right? But even with that bias, that a small pang of sympathy for the devil sparks through the empty space where our heart used to beat when we think of these guys:

Drew Weatherford
Antone Smith
Preston Parker
Greg Carr
Geno Hayes (which actually goes against one of my sources)
Derek Nicholson

All of them are mentioned by the Tallahassee Democrat and Tomahawk Nation as being guys NOT, we repeat NOT on the list of Florida State players who took answers from tutors for an online class and therefore earned suspensions for the bowl game. Weatherford, in particular, bears special mention for concluding his career as the Job of the Florida State program in its late imperial period: a hammering taken under center, talent squandered in the horrid Jeff Bowden attack, a career of yo-yo action between starting and riding the bench, and a whole career gone without beating Florida. Again: if we didn't enjoy the sight of Jarvis Moss crunching him on a late hit so much, we'd feel a pang of pity for him, since we agree that in other circumstances, he could have been Matt Ryan, or is possibly a clone of his.

Sadder still is the lack of movement in the Vegas line: going from an opening lean to Kentucky by a point or so, the general fluctuation has it up to a a 2.5 point spread for the 'Cats to cover.

Thanks to Mr. 2Cents for helping spread the word about FSU's immediate lack of depth, and a possible solution:

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Comments

“late imperial period”? Superb.

by marcillac on Dec 19, 2007 11:23 AM EST reply actions

I’d like to fill out her application.

by PortTrojan on Dec 19, 2007 11:26 AM EST reply actions

Stop kicking “Diddy’s” team when they’re down.

They never kicked one of your players, literally, when they were…

yeah, nevermind.

by Coop on Dec 19, 2007 11:31 AM EST reply actions

Rot, FSU. Crumble in the hole of Tally with only the comfort of fried chicken on damned near every corner.

by Allahver Fist on Dec 19, 2007 11:43 AM EST reply actions

Sean Combs is an FSU alum?

tee-hee

Typing P. Diddy as a college grad made me laugh.

by Rival on Dec 19, 2007 11:51 AM EST reply actions

Isn’t there a code of conduct that students pledge when they take a final? I think violation of it is possible expulsion. At least thats how it was when I was in school. That should open up some scholarships.

by Tommy J on Dec 19, 2007 11:56 AM EST reply actions

Reporters trying to get a quote out of St. Bobby were brushed aside by the Imperial One himself, saying he had to get to practice – gotta go!

Practiced had concluded an hour earlier.

Jimbo declined comment saying it was the Coach’s place to remark on the situation. Which coach: The Mascot Bobby? The Executive Vice-President Coach Amato? The Pining Wallflower Fisher? Who the hell’s in charge over there?

Circling the drain. Circling the drain.

by NativeSon on Dec 19, 2007 11:57 AM EST reply actions

New Respect for FSU Dept:

Wow, seeing those Free Shoes University blondies….makes me forget what all the current FSU fuss is all about. No wonder the Dadgumster does not want to retire.

by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me on Dec 19, 2007 12:12 PM EST reply actions

Who would have thought that the 2/3 of the Florida powerhouses would be slumbering?

by Techie on Dec 19, 2007 12:17 PM EST reply actions

Florida State is still one of those old school kind of cheating programs that have sorta died out. The new wave cheaters are the teams winning nowadays.

It’s kinda sad to see Bowden be too proud to step down.

by Brian on Dec 19, 2007 12:21 PM EST reply actions

“Who the hells in charge over there?”

Alexander Haig?

by Tar Heel Fan on Dec 19, 2007 12:21 PM EST reply actions

Ok enough of this shit….whens the jimbo phase gonna take over??? They can send Bowden to an aarp beach getaway…and better yet he can take his loser ass sons with him!

by jake steely on Dec 19, 2007 12:22 PM EST reply actions

FSU has entered the final part of the recruiting season with all guns blazin’…national bowl exposure, national cheating scandal, national coaching search…Hopefully Job Weatherford doesn’t get broken in half, he really is a perfect example of a pretty good kid soiled by some pretty bad adults

by goopler on Dec 19, 2007 12:30 PM EST reply actions

it’s enough to make one pine for the days of the Heistman and Felony State University…now THOSE were good ol fashioned rabble-rousin’, not petty academic dishonesty

by swampchomp on Dec 19, 2007 12:37 PM EST reply actions

Geno Hayes is not inelligible because of academics, but I’m sure the raping, drugs, robbery, animal sex crimes, and corruption charges will come soon.

by T-Bird, T-Bird I love you on Dec 19, 2007 12:37 PM EST reply actions

Same old school, different year.

by Crabapple Buck on Dec 19, 2007 12:51 PM EST reply actions

Weatherford concluding his career?? He’s only a junior.

by Bandobras on Dec 19, 2007 12:52 PM EST reply actions

A degree from FSU does not a College Grad make. It’s kinda like having one of those “You have just won SIX MILLION DOLLARS” envelopes from Publisher’s Clearinghouse. All you’ve really got is a meaningless piece of paper and the realization that your future cleaning the deep frier at Popeyes remains, well, your future cleaning the deep frier at Popeyes.

by Sherlock Hemlock on Dec 19, 2007 1:20 PM EST reply actions

I’ll walk on for her anyday, Free Shoes or not.

by yoyofutbawl on Dec 19, 2007 1:34 PM EST reply actions

- at least you’ve got free gas for your pick’em up truck though!

by Brian on Dec 19, 2007 1:37 PM EST reply actions

I’m going to go with “replace ‘walk’ with ‘hard-’” as my cheerleader-related sexual innuendo for the day.

And express surprise that Orson didn’t suggest Jen Sterger suit up and play for her team…in hopes of some KY defender sacking her and…well sorry, I can’t continue. Just put “Jen Sterger” and “KY” in the same sentence…too many punchlines. ..can’t pick just one.

by Will (the other one) on Dec 19, 2007 1:52 PM EST reply actions

Surprising l(?) lack of ’nole program defenders in this string…meanwhile, does Bowden publicly burn or just slink away? Thoughts?

by goopler on Dec 19, 2007 2:15 PM EST reply actions

Bobby will keep doing what he’s always done best: piano player in a whore house.

by Acorns on Dec 19, 2007 2:49 PM EST reply actions

Goopler-

Clown School fans rarely come here, and won’t until they start winning big again. Hopefully, that means never.

by Mr. Wrong on Dec 19, 2007 2:57 PM EST reply actions

- Tell that to Orson Swindle.

No, “the” Orson Swindle. That is all.

by Coop on Dec 19, 2007 3:11 PM EST reply actions

Oh, the potshots at FSU crack me up, largely coming from UF. It must be great to have State Atty. Cervone on your side, pushing the 12+ UF football player arrests this year alone under the rug. Regarding cheating, there’s something that can be said about only the stupid ones get caught, but alas you’d be hard pressed to not find incidents like this one in most major southern football programs.

Despite that, as an FSU fan and alum, I believe that we deserve every single bit of punishment we get from this case. What a disgrace. We have a president who is better suited as a D-II athletic director and a bunch of administrators under him who largely don’t care, fitting in nicely under his “good ol’ boy” system.

by Ace on Dec 19, 2007 9:06 PM EST reply actions

?I saw some of these teams that are getting ready to play bowl games have had some difficulties over the semester,? [Spurrier] said. ?I guess the one in Tallahassee has had the most difficulties. But some other teams have had two or three guys.?

by robert on Dec 20, 2007 6:39 AM EST reply actions