YOUR BOWL FOR THE BOWLS: THE SHAQ-FU OF SNACK FOOD

Don’t tell my bosses, co-workers, girlfriend or parents…but I just purchased enough weed to kill a small army. In other words…I LOVE BOWL SEASON!!!

But funyuns suck. My plans include leftover Chinese food, fritos & chips with french onion dip and (the most important part) little hot dogs on New Year’s Day during the Rose Bowl. In fact, New Year’s Day should include as many appetizers as possible to kill the hangover, including buffalo wings.

Mmmmm.

Haven’t actually had any since the beginning of football season. Thanks for the reminder, Orson. Would make quite the superb carb compliment for the protein in the nonfat yogurt.

EiG,

Those are generally excellent suggestions but the funyuns would have to figure in the medley.

Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars and we can make s’mores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Cap’n Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man, everything on ’em, with water, whole lotta water, and Funyons.

#4
I think you just described Mark Manginos breakfast

They’re formed into little onion-ring-shaped circles, so you can also throw them like hoops at the table, twirl them onto your finger, or try to toss them onto your erect penis in a festive game of ring toss. Combine the last one with a sexual activity, and you have just re-enacted 23 percent of the Federline-Spears relationship.

The annoying people around me that some may refer to as coworkers are pretty put off with me right now due to the uncontrollable laughter after reading this slice of literary gold.

Nice Half-Baked ref man…..

#4
I need a box of condoms and what’s that shit we used to eat all the time back in the day??

a bunch of my friends in australia love that movie but were completely clueless on the subject of s’mores. so i had to educate ’em.

Glad I’m not the only one who immediately thinks of Half Baked when I hear “funyons.”

Anyway, I don’t think I’ve ever actually had funyons. Don’t plan on trying them either.

Here is a tip…..dont ever eat a bag of Funyons and then drink a whole lot of orange juice, while seated in the front seat in the middle of a bench seat in a Ford F150 between 2 other people while trying to learn to
“chew Redman” when your like 12, with no spit cup, or if you had one, they hid it after giving you the a whole lot of chew…….after the dizziness from the nicotine and the intial buzz of motion sickness….hilarity ensues……..just a tip…
Here is some inside info…..The food coloring in Funyans trump the food coloring in Orange juice, the second go round FYI, and people will jump out of a moving pickup truck going 30 mph when a kid gets sick FYI

MPP,

You know, the orange juice/funyon combo alone made made me a little nauseous. Adding the Redman to the mix, that’s just plain old-fashioned vomit fuel. What the hell were your uncles or cousins or whatever thinking?

O:
Speaking of Peter North, how did the PNU Gushers’ season turn out? Great success, no?

Biggus,

That’s the bama sidewalk alum initiation ritual. A little shocked at the orange juice though. I thought they used red kool-aid.

Funyuns Is People!

Kids in middle school scarfed those up with no delay. I always assumed the bright yellow bag meant they were toxic, as God always lets us know what to stay away from by making it bright and colorful, like those poisonous rain forest frogs, trashy hookers, and suspect carnival rides.

Snack of choice – Super Pretzels. those fuckers are GOOD. Three in one sitting is standard fair.

I think Funyuns are still higher on the death by snackfood than bbq pork rinds.

ya think the petrino comment may have been a little forced?

Funyuns are okay but they’d barely crack my poll of bowl game watching snacks: doritos, fritos, tositos (hahah anything that ends in -itos), ruffles, any potato chip with french onion dip, salt & vinegar chips, bbq chips, cheetos and cheez-its. And funyuns would also be behind numerous chocolate-related choices like brownies, anything with the word HOSTESS on it and M&Ms.

I ate one of those XXL bags of M&M New Year’s Eve day 2003 watching crap like the Sun Bowl….oh my god…i almost died that night when drinking began. Be wary of M&Ms!!! They are too good!!

#17
You drink mojitos while watching football? You better be a chick…

What are Super Pretzels? I like the sound of those.

Try one of my new stamples: cocktail weenies in a crockpot with whiskey, brown sugar, and catsup. Drunk Dogs ahoy!

http://www.superpretzel.com/

Also, another key, key, key, snack item is cheezum pringles. I could eat a whole silo of those puppies in one sitting.

I don’t drink mojitos usually but seriously, it’s not a gay drink or anything. Mo-jitos…Mooooo-jitos…

I actually quite like funnyuns, but they pale by comparison my favorite potato chip “flavors” as a kid: beef, ketchup, and prawn. (Separate flavors, not all in one…)

But the idea of sitting around grazing on shit like that all day on New Year’s? Perhaps not.

beast vs beast dept:

Who would win a Funyun Eating contest between Mark Mangino and Charlie Weis?

I think Mangino would win, but both of their toilets would be the big, clogged up, putrid, losers the next day.

The Super Pretzel appears to be… a pretzel. But man, I love pretzels, so I’m down.

You’re all full of it. Funyuns are like manna from the heavens. I’ll take those over any other “chips” every day of the goddamn week.

Plus, it’s spelled “Funyuns,” no O.

#21; Liquor should be ingested straight-up, unless you are serving it to a prissy-type-female and they need it watered, or sugared down some.

Um, fuck all the rest of this, my weapon of choice is scallops and bacon. Boom.

SKLM:

Exactly which days are the toilets of Mangino and Weis not clogged-up putrid losers? I mean, what’s a good day in the life of that bathroom fixture?

Pepperoni rolls, dudes. The official snack food of WfVU. Great for hangovers with a Miller Lite.

Scallops and bacon = boner.

Or even those water chestnuts and bacon things.

DC Trojan—

the crisp flavors in europe are way underrated. I wish I could find just one bag of paprika crisps here in the states!

I totally agree with deFloss…. you arent headed for diabetes until youve had a stadium pepperoni roll!

I’ll tell ya my secret and it’s no bullshit. It does require that you like filberts. You do, right? Oh I forgot, they’re also called “hazelnuts.”

Anyway, you need dried or blanched shelled nuts, whole or halved. There are variations but here’s my two favorites.

1) Dump nuts in a bowl, add butter and worchestershire sauce. Nuke on high for about five minutes in a microwave. Sprinkle with salt and allow to cool a bit then serve

2) Dump nuts in a bowl. Pour ranch dressing over the nuts, and sprinkle some cayenne pepper. Otherwise do as above.

Manna from fucking heaven. Goes well with booze, reef, football, pussy or whatever. I promise :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pepperoni_Roll

West Virginia you magnificent bastard!

“…it is arguably the food most closely associated with the state…”

sorry for the double post, but this just occured to me: state food of West fuckin Virginia = Hot Pockets.

We really enjoy Tomato Basil Wheat Thins. Good stuff.

Millon @ #31: Game, set, match.

Unsurprisingly, Funyuns are still vastly outselling Responsibilityuns

Funyuns are so exotic like Munchos and Bugles.

Frozen meatballs and a can of Cream of whatever in the Crockpot, thats a mans snack.

What I mean is pepperoni rolls with beer is just what the doctor ordered for a nasty hangover. That and maybe a stroke session.

I’m ready for some meaningless bowl games.

I plan to have a Luther Burger with my football this bowl season.

I’m saving it for the National Title game though…don’t want to have to try and recover from a coronary bypass…or death, before getting to NOLA for the Sugar Bowl.

#8-

pussy!

Biggus, my cousin was like 16 when I was 12…..
Needless to say, I havent touched any combo of Funyuns or Red Man ever since then…actually I guess in a weird way I was trying to act grown up since my uncle and my cousin caught me going in their Red Man after baseball practice one day….and once busted, the conversation went like this..“So big man, ya wanna chew?? this is how ya chew….” and it went down hill from there….the food they offered was for more comedic effect on their part when I said I was getting dizzy, they said “Drink this, eat this”…..did I mention they were Auburn fans?? You obviously can see why a family “rivarly” is a lot more personal…..then once I got busted trying to smoke Camel cigarettes, same deal, had to smoke 10 at a time….they believed in the “overwhelm them til they get sick” mentality in punishment….sneaking Budweiser? Same deal….drink a hot 12 pack…..only think it did was make me switch from redneck brands to better brands and only in moderation…so I guess it worked in a weird way…I did all this in one summer while I was 12, so at least the lessons I learned were somewhat under semi-adult supervision…..and maniacal Auburn fans…

#29: Mark Mangino would eat Charlie Weis. The Funyuns would only be a side.

I’ve never had a Funyun.

It’s ironic Orson mentioned the Spears-Federlines, because child protection services actually did raid their household a couple of years ago. It took them six hours to locate baby Sean Preston, who had been trapped under two feet of Cheeto dust.

Since we are talking food here and I plan on being in New Orleans….Again!

I once ate a Lucky Dog from a street vendor at 3a.m.

Told him I wanted the “Supremo” with chili, cheese whiz, coleslaw, pickle relish and extra onions.

Absolutely the best $6.00 high colonic known to mankind.

They made a movie about Funyuns. It was called “Soylent Green.”

Unless your pecker has the diameter of my pinky finger, ain’t no funyon gonna fit around your junk. Sure, I have big pinkies, but c’mon.

This has been classified information, until now, but few people outside Special Ops know that Funyons figured heavily during Shock and Awe. Smart bombs and bunker busters armed with Funyon warheads have been used for years, it’s just that Amnesty International is constantly bitchin’ and moanin’ that Funyon bombs are particularly inhumane. Thus, it’s kept on the down low.

3 things are needed for bowl season.

1) Knob Creek

2) Jar of Marishino (sp?) cherries. Pour out half the juice and replace with Clear Springs grain alcohol….Bama Bombs for the ladies.

3) BBQ pork rinds (fuck the dude that questioned their greatness)

Just give me man dip.
1 lb Jimmy Dean spicy sausage (need to brown first)
1 jar of Rotel and
Velveta
Put in a pot, heat, and then start dipping the Tostito’s scoops.
If you like spice, a few extra peppers won’t hurt.
Chase it down with some tall, cold Budweisers and your day is complete.

If y’all come to my house for the Peach Bowl, I’ll make you my specialty – sausage, jalapenos and water chesnuts wrapped in bacon, speared with a frilly toothpick, thrown in a grill basket and dipped in BBQ sause. If you’re in Birmingham, come on by.

Honestly, that sounds like Satan’s snack. Delicious!