The departure of Rich Rodriguez won’t be a quiet one. Kick over a log, and you’ll find lawyers. Then, kick the lawyers over, and you’ll find clowns feeding on dead midgets. But inside those midgets? You guessed it: midget parasitic lawyers.

This abstract feeding frenzy describes the potential scene of Rodriguez’s post-departure litigationfest, beginning in earnest with the announcement that Rodriguez will contest having to pay the $4 million buyout himself for leaving for the Michigan job.

Ken Kendrick, a primary West Virginia athletics donor and close friend of Rodriguez, said Tuesday he had knowledge of lawyers’ intentions to contest the buyout.

“I will be a witness to any and all proceedings that occur,” said Kendrick, who is the managing general partner of Major League Baseball’s Arizona Diamondbacks. “They baited and switched him. Rich was boxed in by a university and athletic department that was arrogant, mean-spirited and intellectually bankrupt.

Kendrick is the Big Name Rich Guy Donorman named in many of these rumors, but there’s a significant chunk of WVU’s boosterati who feel this way. This was one of the swirling rumors surrounding the departure of Coach DickRod: that he didn’t get along with WVU AD Pastilong because of unfulfilled promises and an overall high-handedness, including reneging on some basic, teeny little details like allowing players to keep their textbooks at the end of the semester. This doesn’t seem like big shit until you think of it in terms of say, your roommate’s inability to transport an empty coke can from the coffee table to the trash can. Do it once, and it’s an oversight; do it for six years, and it’s a testament to their complete contempt for you and themselves.

Lawyers! LET’S GET READY TO MUMBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLL….and rack up those billable hours you’ve been wasting on the internet.