SWINDLE INDUSTRIES UPDATE

Orson=Sell-out. Enjoy your money while you dick others for selling-out and, well enjoying the money.

sniff

I remember back when Swindle Industries was a small mom and pop operation where you could buy an orange phosphate for a nickel.

thirtyfiveseconds.com?

Why not everymonthshouldbemarch.com?

1. Glad you didn’t change the Spurrier/Wuerrfel exchange. If you keep up with Spurrier, that is pretty cool. I hate him now, but I liked him back then.

2. You quit your job in the “international community” world?

If the above is correct, congrats to you on doing what you enjoy and/or not having to work like the rest of us.

Off to go threaten someone to make me feel important…

All the cocktails you want Orson! Congratulations! Sports Illustrated es teh suxorz!

Congratulations, sir!

you need to change that picture up on the sporting news page- that is unless you want the world thinking you are a child molester or dungeons and dragons guru

MP-

Orson loves posting horrible pictures of himself online. The worse the better.

Suh-weet! Congrats. Available for birthday parties and weddings now?

Watch out for the WWL and her meth-fueled jealous rage wielding a tire iron at your writing knee.

Tortured Kerrigan-Harding metaphor? Only on teh Internets, baby!

…okay, maybe Stewie Scott could’ve come up with that…

Or both!

Liberated from the day job?

Congratulations.

Did you have a grad assistant hand in your note? Did you even tell them? Or are they still holding the rope?

Charlatan.

Congratulations! It is well-deserved and reeked with the smell of inevitability. Now keep with the funny.

Do you need a grad assistant to hand in your resignation letter? I’m available and wiht little better to do.

Why does the theme from ‘The Jeffersons’ keep running thru my head, I’m white. Congrats Orson and TCoaN.

Kenny @ 12

Beat me to it, dammit.

Nice job!

“We should point out that drinking is bad for you, and that family is life’s most precious gift. A gift you cannot refund, return or regift, ever, as long as you live. Drink responsibly if you do and watch these bowl games responsibly, as well.”

And, the sellout begins…

I feel like one of those loser Phish fans who starting ripping on Trey when he jumped into bed with Dave Matthews, figuratively.

Or, literally, who the hell knows anymore now…

Anastasio mixing talent with Dave Matthews was a solid indicator that he never should have started microwaving his cocaine.

Orson, due to your celebrity staus you will now require Security to keep the groupies from molesting you.

Hire The Orgeron before Britney Spears does.

Soon we’ll all look back on the days when the only thing that mattered were the cocktails.

By the way can I have 5 bucks, I left my wallet at home. And by “Ieft my wallet at home” I mean, “now that your loaded, I’m going to sponge as much money off you as I can. One latte at a time.”

Well done, sir.

Please don’t forget us plebes as you live the glamorous life of a big-time national sportswriter that Sheila E. told us all about…

Seriously, congrats on being able to tell The Man to go take a flying leap…

So how many articles does a reporter have to write a week in order to be “full time”?

lunching with Peter King anytime soon?

Congrats, you fine fellow.

Btw, the comments aren’t showing up on thirtyfiveseconds.com…unless that is done on purpose.

BOOurns. College Basketball? Really? People don’t read Peter Gammon’s website to get the latest hockey news. Congrats on the SN gig, and please keep it real here. EDSBS is still the best thing going.

That Buddy’s is too high-falutin’. The Chevron at Ponce and Boulevard is where you need to be!

I am not going to be the alabama coach.

I suppose that your betrayal of glorious amateurism is balanced out by a net increase in the quality of professional sports writing on the web – well done, sir.

BTW, one has to be deaf, dumb, and blind to have no interesting in March Madness? That’s just ridic

ahah…

The sucking-up to Vern Lundquist did the trick, huh?

Congrats!

PS…what was your day job? :-)~

hey orson, congrats, just dont turn into one of those shit for brains non-fan “sportswriters.” And with all this sudden fame, can you get my dad Rick Reilly’s autograph? Christmas is like seriously next week and I havent gotten him shit yet.

Fallex-

We used to live in the bright blue house a block up from that Chevron on Monroe. We once saw a transvestite prostitute that we’d seen busted on Cops (no lie) running across the front yard one morning on our way to work. Good times!

Well Orson , Congrats…now you need to go hire an agent like Jimmy Sexton….
What is the Orson bio? Where did it begin? When will ya have a public IPO on the penny stock side?
I imagine that most writers have to answer to some sort of editor, kinda like Peter Parker/J. Jonah Jameson type relationship minus the superhero status(that we know of)…So when will you be on Cribs? with a bunch of random shady lookin people in the background drinkin all ya liquor by the pool?

Sources have obtained a copy of Orson’s resignation letter:

“Dear Mr. Lumberg,

While I appreciate the valuable opportunity to work at Initech, I no longer have time for this shit.

Best personal regards,
Orson Swindle"

Orson… congrats.

Congratulations are in order for Swindle and the missus.

Hmmmm….. but what about stuff about college football being too important to trust the professionals? Looks like things have turned out a bit Orwellian…..congrats again….and may you not gain too many unwanted pounds….

Orson, sorry the deal with Meeechigan went south after you quit the day job; prolonged negotiations can be like that. Hope this thing with SI works out.

Rodreguez … I mean, who saw that coming?

Wow. I feel like I was on to something before it got huge. Like listening to (insert indy band here).

Congratulations!!!

Way to go, Orson. Congratulations.

Now, please don’t go all Bill Simmons on us. Believe it or not, he wasn’t tedious, grating and insufferable when he was Boston Sports Guy. He was just a funny local guy with a unique take on the Boston sports scene. Now, he’s…well, you know. Please avoid that trap.

Oh, and college basketball? What, colleges have basketball now? Oh, sure. Next you’ll be telling me that there are “months” between the end of spring practice and the beginning of fall practice. Whatever, crazy man. College basketball…What’s next, some sort of “pro” football? Please…

DG,

Was that note attached to a gutted fish left to rot in his cube?

Yo – so If I join the premium membership, will cheesecake come with less “toppings”?

Congrats! I think that anyone that starts a blog has at least some hope that it could become a viable, full-time thing, and you’ve been able to pull it off.

Just don’t forget us little people now that you’re making Tuxedo Park money.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3YfWVr36j0 – Wedding crasher’s scene with Ferrell “just livin’ the dream.”

Congratufuckinglations, playah! I’ve never had time for that SN crap before, but will have to make some now.

Congrats Swindle!!!!

Have some more of that Cognac – Louis XIII or Frapin VIP XO (Throw in some Pauillac, Chambertin and Rioja for TCOAN, who, so I gather, is quite the connoisseur of the stuff.)

Enjoy, but make sure keep the merriment and profanity coming. I know you say you will but Tony Kennedy promised to uphold the Constitution….

Great news, Orson!

Congrats on getting to live the dream!

1000 cocktails…nay…1000 boxes of wine to you sir!!!

Congrats on the new gig and hitting the bigtime.

w00t w00t w00t!!

Uh, sorry. That should be:
w00t w00t w00t

Congrats Orson! Now you can spend all day in your bathrobe – the American Dream!

Excellent! You and Seanie the Cablinasian are living the dream. May your cynical irreverency and sick, twisted sense of humor never fail you.

I’m all caught up in Swindlemania!

Well Played Sir.

Congrats! Need a driver or a valet on your next trip to NYC? I’m your man!

Orson, give yourself a fuckin siren! Congrats on the new gig and living the dream.

Looks like Sporting News is actually attempting to make itself relevant again by plundering the deep seas of talent in the blogosphere. They hired Mike Florio from profootballtalk.com to do a few articles a week earlier this year. In less than six months, they’ve bagged the best pro and college football bloggers in the world. It’s good to see them at least making the attempt… I remember way back in the day when it was actually printed on newsprint.

1. - Spend all day in bathrobe? American Dream? I think it is spending all day in silk pj’s (like Hef).

I think Orson is the blog equivalent of the Flight of the Conchords once they hit HBO…..just got funnier but on a grander scale, with more money I hope….and more fans…..too bad bloggers cant have a “Best of DVD” or something for sale

Hey, waitaminit. I thought there were only about 12 of us posting under several thousand psuedonyms! Does this mean someone is actually READING this drivel?

Freaking scary.

Come with me now to a shining and beautiful day in the future….

The year: 2030
The setting: a sweat filled room, somewhere in Indianapolis
The scene: NCAA nominating committee meeting

Myles Brand: Then it’s agreed, in recognition of Mr. Swindle’s many contributions to the NCAA over the years, he will take over as president at the end of my term.

Swindle’s Agent: President Brand, my client is honored by your thoughtfulness and yields to no man in his devotion to college athletics.

However, with regard to Mr. Swindle’s compensation package, I would be remiss in my duties if I didn’t convey to you, with a heavy heart, that he has recently been offered – on a tentative basis – the presidency of the fledgling LWVN, Latino Women’s Volleyball Network…..

and we all know where that leads.

1. - Viva la revolucion!

Gosh, I got in on this orgy during the “afterglow” and “cuddletime” era.
I came here for the humor, and stayed for the insight.
Icame here to fit in, and stayed for the camaraderie.
I came here for the cynicism, and stayed for the relevance.

You have succeeded in turning a stogy, gray-haired, left-brained south campus (Athens) alum into a witty, senile, irrelevant snarkster.

Many cocktails to you and your sensible life-partner TCOAN.

Yeah, I bought and read your fucking book. I’m well aware I gave you momentary control of my mind. But neither you nor I nor Nick Saban has any time for this shit.

this is a great fucking country.

So, Orson, when do you launch the MLB Blog?