SWINDLE INDUSTRIES UPDATE
Things are happening. Fascinating, exciting, and often poorly organized things, but nevertheless, it’s rollin’ baby.
1. We’re full-time at the Sporting News now, and will be contributing two college football-related pieces or so a week over there in addition to appearing on Chris Mottram’s The Sporting Blog on a daily basis. We are also busy convincing them to send us to China on the cheap, and that the Chinese police will take bribes to let you into exclusive Olympic athletic events without jailing you at least 56% of the time you attempt it.
2. This will not impact EDSBS, which remains independent and Swindle-owned. In fact, the SN gig allows us to write full-time, meaning the pace of posting, so often dented by work and other nonsense, should remain constant at the worst. It will also not impact our fondness for profanity, so shove that notion sideways up your fucking ass, shit-tard.
3. The Swindle Industries family (dysfunctional and haphazard, just like yours) welcomes its first new member to the family: thirtyfiveseconds.com, our stab at a college basketball blog. Irishoutsider and Unsilent Majority will be bringing you only the finest of college basketball hearsay and analysis, along with lots of pictures of basketball players’ hair and mockery thereof. Other writers will make appearances, ourselves included, as you would have to be blind, deaf, and dumb to not think March Madness wasn’t worth paying attention to, and we only fit two-thirds of that bill.
4. Do you have a male relative you can’t talk to, relate to, or even sit in the same room with for longer than three minutes? Do you have to purchase a gift for them this Christmas? Of course you do, and of course you don’t know what to get them…until now.

Available at Amazon or out of the back of our trunk. We’ll be at Buddy’s at North Ave. and N. Highland selling them along with some fine electronic merchandise we found on the side of the road. Ah, the bounty of the concrete seas, all yours for rock-bottom prices!









51
Disgruntled Goat says:
I’m all caught up in Swindlemania!
December 17th, 2007 at 5:21 pm
52
Paragon SC says:
Well Played Sir.
Congrats! Need a driver or a valet on your next trip to NYC? I’m your man!
December 17th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
53
PAK says:
Orson, give yourself a fuckin siren! Congrats on the new gig and living the dream.
Looks like Sporting News is actually attempting to make itself relevant again by plundering the deep seas of talent in the blogosphere. They hired Mike Florio from profootballtalk.com to do a few articles a week earlier this year. In less than six months, they’ve bagged the best pro and college football bloggers in the world. It’s good to see them at least making the attempt… I remember way back in the day when it was actually printed on newsprint.
December 17th, 2007 at 6:06 pm
54
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
#49 – Spend all day in bathrobe? American Dream? I think it is spending all day in silk pj’s (like Hef).
December 17th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
55
Mr Pelican Pants says:
I think Orson is the blog equivalent of the Flight of the Conchords once they hit HBO…..just got funnier but on a grander scale, with more money I hope….and more fans…..too bad bloggers cant have a “Best of DVD” or something for sale
December 17th, 2007 at 6:31 pm
56
bitterhorn says:
Hey, waitaminit. I thought there were only about 12 of us posting under several thousand psuedonyms! Does this mean someone is actually READING this drivel?
Freaking scary.
December 17th, 2007 at 7:37 pm
57
OhioDawg says:
Come with me now to a shining and beautiful day in the future….
The year: 2030
The setting: a sweat filled room, somewhere in Indianapolis
The scene: NCAA nominating committee meeting
Myles Brand: Then it’s agreed, in recognition of Mr. Swindle’s many contributions to the NCAA over the years, he will take over as president at the end of my term.
Swindle’s Agent: President Brand, my client is honored by your thoughtfulness and yields to no man in his devotion to college athletics.
However, with regard to Mr. Swindle’s compensation package, I would be remiss in my duties if I didn’t convey to you, with a heavy heart, that he has recently been offered – on a tentative basis – the presidency of the fledgling LWVN, Latino Women’s Volleyball Network…..
and we all know where that leads.
December 17th, 2007 at 8:29 pm
58
Brian says:
#57 – Viva la revolucion!
December 17th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
59
hunglikehussain says:
Gosh, I got in on this orgy during the “afterglow” and “cuddletime” era.
I came here for the humor, and stayed for the insight.
Icame here to fit in, and stayed for the camaraderie.
I came here for the cynicism, and stayed for the relevance.
You have succeeded in turning a stogy, gray-haired, left-brained south campus (Athens) alum into a witty, senile, irrelevant snarkster.
Many cocktails to you and your sensible life-partner TCOAN.
December 17th, 2007 at 11:06 pm
60
Innocent Bystander says:
Yeah, I bought and read your fucking book. I’m well aware I gave you momentary control of my mind. But neither you nor I nor Nick Saban has any time for this shit.
December 18th, 2007 at 7:18 am
61
cc says:
this is a great fucking country.
December 18th, 2007 at 8:29 am
62
NRBQ says:
So, Orson, when do you launch the MLB Blog?
December 18th, 2007 at 10:49 am