CURIOUS INDEX, 12/17/07

wallace gilberry = quote machine. he will be missed.

did the wvu ad scratch out dick rod’s name and hand write “coward” a la lawya milloy??

Ohio state appears to be in deep shit if UM gets that kid.

So ESPN is going to rail on DickRod about this and tell kids not to come to Michigan now, right?

No. He doesn’t have Petrino’s dead shark eyes.

I can throw up just as hard, if not harder, by eating some bad barbecue pork. Gilberry is wasting valuable time and energy with all that other shit.

When Tebow and Petrino are both on the same playing field nex t year, will that be the ultimate battle of good versus evil?

Rich Rodriguez is the dumbest mofo alive. He’s going to get eaten alive at Michigan. HE IS NOT A GOOD COACH!!! His teams always crap the bed at the absolutle most inopportune time, they’ve been NC contenders the last two years and messed it up. And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to give Pat White the ball and say “Run to the endzone young man.”

WFVU is going to pull a Miami 2001 and win the national championship next year if everyone comes back.

What does Coach Rita Rodriquez have to say in all this, and her hair? I think she is from Jersey, not WFV….Invest in Final Net stock now….she is a walking Ozone layer detractor…nothing but pure flurocarbons…
Cue the Noel Devine outrage and the impregnation of several unsuspecting women…..I think this pushes Devine over the edge…..he has real abondement issues…..and no income…and child support out his ass…….

Petrino has shark eyes?

Of course, you have to sell your soul to coach at Louisville. Any UK fan will tell you that.

If any photoshoppers out there could produce a Noel Devine addition to Rodriguez’s that crosses his name out and replaces it with “kowerd” written in crayon I would be greatly appreciative.

Rodriguez’s letter that should be.

“And, you know, the thing about a shark… he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes.”

-Arthur Blank, overheard discussing Petrino’s departure.

Or Quint from Jaws, I forget which one.

Norm Chow as UCLA coach would keep the Bruins Nation and Dump Dorrell folk in the rage-provoked buttlock we’re so used to — especially if paired with Walker staying as DC.

It might also make USC-UCLA competitive, though.

The tough part of Alabama’s conditioning…..is while you are throwing up, Nick Saban is steadily kicking you in the stomach..for being a pussy. …after spraying everyone with cold water while they do push ups and sit ups..He got his ideas of conditioning from the movie “GI Jane”..after the ULM game….and usually ends up with the coaching staff going to hand to hand combat with the players,and using their injuries against them….Hurt knee? and you admit it hurts? Swift kick to the knee, then run off the pain…broke finger?…(stomps on it) now you have 2 broke fingers..thats what ya get from complaining…
He wants you to quit, go ring the bell…..

#7, “they’ve been NC contenders the last two years” is the key part of that statement. As opposed to the excellent coaches not NC contenders the past two years?

I doubt Norm Chow is pumping the year as OC for Amato. I mean, I bet half the candidates worked as OC for Amato.

Because, God forbid, the Pac-10 should be competitive.

Rumors abound that Mississippi State Defensive Coordinator Ellis Johnson is poised to assume the same Post for Spurrier at USCeast. With The Orgeron currently unemployed, could he be roaming the sidelines for MSU waiting to exact his revenge from the Benedict Arnolds in Oxford?

1. - True. Unfortunately, I think ohio state is getting him.

I remember the story of a football team going swimmin with Petrino…I’ll never put on a lifejacket again. So, 73 men went in the water; 16 men come out and the Petrino took the rest….his nickname is “Doll’s Eyes”…so if you go swimmin with Petrino…rememeber this: “Farewell and adieu to you, fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu, you ladies of Spain. For we’ve received orders for to sail back to Arkansas…. And so nevermore shall we see you again.”….

I may be wrong, but it looks like no one has yet pointed out that Nick Saban is a WV native.

Nasty rumor swimming around about John Tenuta to South Carolina as DC too. I don’t see it. I’d figure he’d only leave for an HC position.

Saban to WVU! Sly Croom to Alabama! Boom M.F. Muschamp to Missy State! Orgeron to Auburn! EVERYTHING! MUST! GO!

Are Bench Hard, Squat Hard, Power-Clean Hard, Grunt Hard, and Throw Up Hard the planned sequels to the new movie “Walk Hard?” Or is it just another in the “Die Hard” series?

“Because, God forbid, the Pac-10 should be competitive.”

What? it was competitive this year. Nate Longshore’s heel, Dennis Dixon’s ACL, and John David Booty’s finger had a competition to see who could screw up their team more.

Longshore’s heel was eliminated when it turned out that he can’t play in the 4th quarter regardless, and Dixon’s ACL nearly lost it when he RAN for a TD against Arizona with the injury… but eventually it won out.

The spread offense is just a fad. No true Big Ten fan wants to see a QB run.

s/ L. Carr

Everytime someone mentions Tenuta, I get the image of Judy Tenuta, the stand up comedian who plays the accordian…..

I concur. The spread will never work against Big Ten defenses.

s/ J. Tressel

I agree with you on the “coach dickrod” comment, but that sportswriter is a complete douche. If you haven’t read some of his columns in the past, keep it that way.

Yippee Ki Yay Boom Motherfucker?

OK, on two threads we’ve had a few people chime in w/ the opinion that RR is not a good coach. What’s the guy gotta do? He got WVU to a point where they were in the annual discussion for the MNC. Yes, WVU had some success before him, but give the man credit for his consistency. In addition, this was done in a state that isn’t exactly a recruiting hotbed. Yet he recruited well and built a very solid program.

I guess the extensive list of coaches traveling to Morgantown to become schooled in the spread-option never got the memo that coach Rod is a moron. They really should consult message boards more often. I can understand WVU fans being upset about the departure, but revisionist history just simply won’t play well……..

The Pac 10 isn’t competitive?

USC is 10-2, 7-1 in conference, while Arizona State is 10-2, 7-1 in conference.

Last year USC and Cal tied. The three years before that USC’s biggest margin was 1 game. The year before that (2002) USC and WSU tied and WSU went to the Rose Bowl.

How could it be more competitive?

I wholeheartedly support Ellis Johnson’s candidacy for the South Carolina DC position.

No, no, Steve, you can get Bud Foster to come to Cola. You can get Jon Tenuta to come to Cola.

What’s that? Not interested. Ah, I see.

I also liked how Foster said that Spurrier told him moving from DC at VPI to DC at South Carolina was a, “lateral move.”

Something tells me that Steve Spurrier never said being on his staff and being on Beamer’s staff was equitable.

I am waiting on Spurrier to say, “Bud Foster is full of crap,” much like Rodney Paulk was during, “Billboardgate.”

In the essence of full disclosure, Clemson LB Courtney Vincent was charged with a DUI the other evening, even though he passed all his FSTs and the police officer did not have a breathalyzer on him to administer said breathalyzer.

Something tells me the good folks in Pickens County will make this one disappear, and rightfully so.

I mean the BAC measurement device is a rather important part of the DUI charge equation, last time I checked.

I think Rich Rodriquez will go all retro and reinstall the wishbone…..just to throw everyone off….all their opponents will have to do is watch the PITT,USF games to learn how to defend against gimmicks, and he will need to get 2 sub 4.4 athletes…he runs the same offense I run on NCAA 2008 with any team…and out of the Shotgun…get the fastest 99 speed guy, and the second, put one at QB and the other at RB, and get around the end, keep it or pitch it 20 yrds down the field….its called the Speed Option….on every play…on top of them returning punts and kickoffs……

I mean I guess leaving Noel Devine behind is like leaving a dog you really like at your parents farm since you cant take him to the new apartment….you had him for a good year, trained him, and now has to be left behind….I imagined Noel crying, tears rolling down his cheek and onto all his gold teeth……

Just read this for the WVU:
Well, there’s no official list. However, the top two names at the outset have to be Florida associate head coach Doc Holliday and former Auburn coach Terry Bowden. Both are undoubtedly interested."
Doc Holliday? doesnt he have Turberculosis or something? “I’m your huckleberry?” is he gonna hire
Johnny Ringo as his Def. Coordinator?

#12-

Since sharks have been around for, oh, 400 million years (give or take), I think it’s more accurate to say that dolls have shark eyes.

shudder

I never, never understood why other girls liked to collect dolls. As a girl, people would buy them for me and I’d leave them in the package, in my closet, with their fucked-up shark eyes aimed at my brother’s room.

UCLA will get Norm Chow IF he’s willing to work for undermarket wages because he’s so desperate to be a head coach and he wants to work out whatever shit there is between him and Carroll.

But don’t be surprised if Dan Guerrero hires DeWayne Walker anyway. THAT would be the typical UCLA move

“We hold beef like a taco shell”??

“Buckeye City” is clearly the most amazing underground rap track ever.

adding to the Chow rumor… supposedly he’ll be meeting with the UCLA chancellor in the next day or two here in Los Angeles.

#36: TCOAN: In high school, we used to joke with other dudes saying they were so homely that they bought dolls with ‘holes in the right place’!

The WV gov’s statement on the Rodriguez biz is interesting:
http://www.wvgazette.com/section/Sports/2007121619
he blames the departure on “high priced agents.” So I’m guessing that one of these agents had Rodriguez’ kids locked in the basement until he signed the deal with Michigan.

Babe Burning Couches & bruin Bloggerfoolery:

Where is the Couch Burning Girl, and her thoughts on the coaching change? Rodriguez did enough for WVU during the past seven years, and it is time for him to go to an elite program, no? (no offense WVU, but WVU is a good program, not an elite one)

Here is the latest BLOGGERFOOLERY from the mentally wierd Bruins Nation…Nestor writes:

“… let them (ucla admin) know respectfully and politely that neither CHOKER (Chow + Walker) nor Walker will be acceptable at UCLA.”

Just once I would like to read something respectful or polite from the nut-jobs at bruinsNation.

Chow is a true college football offensive genius, and I hope he gets a head coaching job someplace. But, if he goes to ucla, he will not win much….because of the best talent going over each year to……USC!

You know, I thought the Jerry Macguire ish Memo that the AD that is on his way out at Washington wrote from the other day was kinda pussified….But he is right. What an ugly couple of years it has been in college football. Hand in your resignation letter in person and be a fucking man about it.

Looks like Tyrelle Pryor is already used to Big Ten speed on the defensive line. Either that, or they let him play with the 9th grade team for kicks.

Bruin fans are worried about Chow because he’s apparently not a people person…he absolutely hates recruiting. Why do you think STANFORD passed on him last year?

ummm…..Rich Rod actually told Terrelle Pryor he was taking the UM job about 3 1/2 hours BEFORE he even told his WVU team about it, let alone the WVU brass. Howz dat for aggressive recruiting? I have no idea if Pryor knew about the deal before Rod’s own wife did but I wouldn’t put it pass Rod for a minute.

Please let West Virginia hire Terry Bowden.

On tap opening weekend next season…
Auburn vs. West Virginia.

10-1 says Auburn backs out like they did against FSU, if TB is hired.

No love for the “Chinatown” reference? Well I dug it.

#45: DeWayne Walker is a strong recruiter. What if Chow primarily handles the X’s and O’s, while Walker handles the bulk of recruiting duties?

To be honest, part of the reason Chow is overlooked is because he’s an Asian guy and people deep down probably find that a liablility. “Not a people person” is code language for “old Asian dude we think young black and white players won’t be able to warm up to or relate to, or possibly even respect.”

You don’t actually know until you try him out. I hope he gets a head coaching job somewhere.

orson – you gonna get this on your curiosities tomorrow?

http://postgazette.com/pg/07352/842541-144.stm