CURIOUS INDEX, 12/14/07
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David Cutcliffe has allegedly taken the job of being Chernobyl firefighter and volunteered for dangerous People's glory! Meaning that he's taken the job of Duke head coach, leaving Tennessee looking for an offensive coordinator. Joel's thinking Gus Malzahn, a pick that would tickle us blind--especially if they rip up shit in the SEC East when Houston Nutt clamped him into a run-first shell and tamped down the no-huddle. Cutcliffe will lose many games at Duke. That's what Duke coaches do, dangit, regardless of their qualifications, because this is Duke, and there's no easy way out, shortcut home, grunty male vocal about to blow o-ring exhortation. (There's at least one team delighted to see Cutcliffe go: Georgia is 0-9 versus Tennessee with Cutcliffe in the booth.) Forgive him, he lives in Michigan. Andy Moeller, offensive line coach for Michigan and likely a job-shopper in the coming month or so, had no blocking scheme for the drinks that rushed him sometime last Saturday afternoon: pulled over for DUI, he refused a breathalyzer because that's precisely what Barry Zuckercorn would advise you to do. The important question is not whether Moeller might have an alcohol problem (remember, dad Gary was tossed out of a restaurant for a drunken tirade during his tenure as Michigan coach,) but whether he was driving an Amurrican car at the time. Bumpkin Booster Bolt BCS to Board, Bring 'ball to Brontosauran Backwater Status! The Wiz has a nice article that the tradition, respect, and all those other crap words people trot out to defend indefensible things certainly apply to the bowl system: the head of the Emerald Bowl makes six figures for putting on the goddamn Emerald Bowl. In 2002, Gary Cavalli earned $90,000 as executive of a new postseason game in San Francisco. In 2006, his compensation package was $362,018 for the game now called the Emerald Bowl. While Chan Gailey certainly appreciates his hard work, remember that 362K in San Fran converts to 16 grand anywhere else. We'd be surprised if he doesn't sleep in a mission and mug tourists for spare change in his spare time. We're not playoff soldiers as we used to be, but don't look for us to look to the West and get weepy thinking about the glories of the bowl system, especially when a miserable Maryland team gets bowl coin. Jim Tressel has encouraged 13 of his juniors to fill out paperwork testing the waters in this year's NFL draft. It's brilliant for recruiting, and ballsy in a smart way, not ballsy in that "I'll-go-for-it-from-my-own-thirty-something-in-the-2nd-quarter-way." OOOOOHHH BURRRRRRN we can only use for a few more weeks, since the expiration date on gloating is precisely one year and one year only. Please take note, Nebraska and Notre Dame fans. It's been a while since we've done Iron Maiden on Friday, and with Christmas around the corner, our thoughts turn naturally to the reason for the season: Satan. |
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34 comments
Comments
Man Bruce Dickinson’s got some pipes…
Iron Maiden is also the answer for UT at OC…The Trooper
B/c while I hope they’d just call up Rich Brooks and ask for Randy Sanders back, I know that, like my chances of of a five-way with four of ZTAs hottest when I’m in Athens this weekend, are slim.
by Will (the other one) on Dec 14, 2007 9:48 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
cutcliffe does realize that he has to coach duke’s FOOTBALL team, right? he does realize coach k hasn’t left, and that there is no head coach vacancy on the basketball program there? i know it’s a head coaching position and all, but c’mon, there are some fates worse than death.
by Cameron Siggs on Dec 14, 2007 9:50 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
wow, that takes me back…1984ish, 8th grade, navy blue Members Only jacket with two Iron Maiden pins and one Van Halen pin. The fact that I had never heard an IM song didn’t matter, everyone else was doing it.
by chad on Dec 14, 2007 9:50 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
It kills me that the tech dept here prevents me from watching Iron Maiden at work. Eat the Rich.
by OhioDawg on Dec 14, 2007 9:57 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Maiden is awesome. For five minutes there I thought I was back in high school.
by The Last Dragon on Dec 14, 2007 10:03 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
666 – That number seems familiar… oh yeah it’s just a few more than what DMac, et. al. rolled up on us.
by Strom Thurmond's dessicated tallywhacker on Dec 14, 2007 10:07 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Didn’t Spurrier win an ACC title at Duke? I’ve always thought that was his greatest accomplishment, not the SEC and national titles at UF. If you can win at Duke, you really can win anywhere.
by baconboy on Dec 14, 2007 10:12 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
By the way, there is no truth in the rumor that Saban has changed Bama’s fight song to Number of the Beast…
by Sabanite on Dec 14, 2007 10:14 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
I think Tennessee should tap Chan Gailey to be their new offensive coordinator.
by Doug on Dec 14, 2007 10:33 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Its brilliant for recruiting, and ballsy in a smart way, not ballsy in that Ill-go-for-it-from-my-own-thirty-something-in-the-2nd-quarter-way.
Conceded. But thanks for the deadline concession. Though I suppose that means I can’t use “hot! hot! hot!” to describe the Michigan coaching vacancy for much longer.
by Eirishis on Dec 14, 2007 10:36 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Dear Phil,
Al Borges needs a job. And Brandon Cox has graduated and would make a wonderful staff addition as QB Coach.
Helpfully suggesting,
UGA
by Rival on Dec 14, 2007 10:41 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Yes, I believe Spurrier did win the ACC while coaching Duke. Sadly, he only went .500 against the ACC this year.
by Out of Conference on Dec 14, 2007 10:55 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Refusing a breathalyzer isn’t always a bad move.
by PeteJayhawk on Dec 14, 2007 10:59 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
I guess the clincher for Cutcliffe was Duke’s offer of adding a Cardiologist to the team’s medical staff.
by Allahver Fist on Dec 14, 2007 11:00 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Cutcliffe is a good offensive coordinator and was a decent head coach. He got a raw deal at Ole Miss and was somewhat vindicated by the Coach O ordeal (please don’t tell The Oregeron I said that…).
That said, I wish him many bad losses at Duke.
by Rival on Dec 14, 2007 11:04 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Spurrier’s accomplishment sounds much more impressive, to say he “won a conference championship wile at Duke.” Throw in those three alphanumeric symbols A – C – C, and the year and it loses much luster. After all the pre- FSU, Miami, BC and VT ACC did include such football powerhouses as…. well….. ummm….. Clemson? Remember that Clemson was trying to adjust to actually having their football players try new things like go to class, study and pass said class, make it by without booster funded new cars, ben franklin handshakes, etc. Danny Ford was out the door, to spread his mayhem elsewhere. Who else was there?
Also, it is Friday? right…. It has been a while, but I think it is time to get back to tradition, so I ask this…
Professor… What’s another word for Pirate treasure??
by skinnyphatman on Dec 14, 2007 11:12 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
- - Uh I think it’s booty…booty…booty… that’s what it is.
by DC Trojan on Dec 14, 2007 11:20 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
baconboy, “If you can win at Duke, you really can win anywhere.” wouldn’t that place Columbia, SC outside the boundaries of the Earth?
Or is this just further evidence of SC as the place coaches go to die (or fester, prior to scaring us weekly on ESPN, in Holth’s case).
by Will (the other one) on Dec 14, 2007 11:29 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Yeh, I can say that trying to be a fan of KISS, Iron Maiden and Ozzy— at a Christian school, in 7th grade, for the shock factor via wearing the tshirts of Eddie(evil looking mascot for IM) under the uniform and having the other “sheltered” kids look on in horror while changing into the PE uniform as seein the Eddie t-shirt freaked them out, I think it was from the “Number of the Beast” album, got into trouble and had to run about 10-440m laps…and had to turn the shirt inside out and backwards while running them…the punishment was not for wearing the shirt, but for brawling with some bible thumpin kids who told me I was going to hell instantly when they saw the shirt…
My response to my middle school football coach, who was right outta college and dishing out the punishment, was “I like to listen to IM while working out”, he says" I should be listening to AC/DC or Ozzy…something more positive so I wouldnt go straight to hell"
by Mr Pelican Pants on Dec 14, 2007 11:37 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
I’m going to start my own evangelical internet church where i make tons of dough from donations from my flock, Start a low tier bowl game that will necessarily be on TV, franchise 50 Starbucks from my winnings, and never work another day in my life.
by Brian on Dec 14, 2007 11:41 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
To be fair, GT was still sleeping when Spurrier was at Duke. Then, B*** L**** makes a program commit suicide. But, for one, shining moment……………
by Techie on Dec 14, 2007 11:44 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
eh, I’ve seen scarier Satan’s in a “Mr Big” video.
by oc phil on Dec 14, 2007 11:50 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Tressell tells his juniors to submit to the draft every year so they can get their name out there, then pull it back if they want to play as a senior.
by Kevin @ Fanblogs on Dec 14, 2007 11:54 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Ughh, thanks for the reminder Techie. I arrived on campus in the fall of 1990, and was ready for an atheletic roll unseen anywhere for some time, final four appearance the previous season, MNC as a freshman… and then. The Chargers come a callin for Boss Ross, Cremins continues to commit to playing no more than six or seven scholarship hoopsters. I fell asleep somewhere in the fourth quarter of the 1992 game vs. FSU (shakes fist in the air, DAMN YOU Charlie Ward, DAMN YOOUUUU!), and have only recently awoken, with the arrival of this fella from a service acadamy. Expecting big things out of him!
by skinnyphatman on Dec 14, 2007 12:05 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Let’s see. Could it be that Tressel gets a bonus based on graduation rate? Could it be that players “going to league” are not counted against that #? Could it be that some of these guys don’t have a ‘snowballs chance in hell’ of ever graduating? Is Treesel that “smart”? Just askin’
by MassDad on Dec 14, 2007 12:11 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
MassDad:
Yeah, and America blew up the World Trade Center
Steel doesn’t melt
The Jews are responsible for, well, everything
George Bush steered Katrina to New Orleans
Black Helicopters are hovering over your house
Ah, the joys of the petty conspiracy theorists. Is reality that hard to grasp? Just askin’
by sherlock hemlock on Dec 14, 2007 12:24 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Satan, Godzilla, and Bruce Dickinson….Up the Irons! Eddie lives! BTW, Steve Harris is one badass bass player.
by Lawrence on Dec 14, 2007 12:48 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Ah Sherlock,
“Guilty man sometime try to hide truth inside dead red herring.”
Charlie Chan
by MassDad on Dec 14, 2007 1:05 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Cutcliffe at Duke? Spurrier’s annual vote for the Blue Devils in the preseason Top 25 is put in serious jeopardy with a Tennessee man at the helm.
if they can win at Wake, they can win again at Duke.
by Gone Gator on Dec 14, 2007 3:27 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
#18
Nice Beastie reference, Pauls Boutique, or as the brothas who dont know how to read pronounce it…
Boutique=“Booty Q”
by Mr Pelican Pants on Dec 14, 2007 6:17 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
How the genius of Iron Maiden escaped me while I was in high school escaped me, I’ll never know. I guess I was too caught up in the Crue, Poison and all the other crappy hair bands of the day. Although when I sit back and listen to some of these old songs, they still hold up. Guess it wasn’t as bad as my grandmother thought. She swore I was going to hell.
by CLTDawg on Dec 14, 2007 11:28 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
MassDad: Could it be that you shouldn’t misspell words when you cast aspersions on other people’s smarts? Could it be that you don’t comprehend the craftiness/ballsiness that Orson’s referring to? Could it be, now that I read your comment again, that you also made a grammar error AND a punctuation error? Could it be that you’re as stupid as you sounded earlier when you left a racist comment? And, finally – could it be that you don’t have a clue what you’re talking about and should keep your fucked-up, ignorant opinions to yourself? You’re a dickhole.
by El Caballo de Sangre on Dec 15, 2007 3:21 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Mr. Pelican Pants…Point of clarification: professor booty was on “Check your head”, I do believe.
And what’s this crap about Nebraska fans not talking smack a dozen years after the fact? As far as I’m concerned, scoreboard is still scoreboard and that means that the Huskers will probably never live down that crushing 1918 defeat to Camp Dodge, but that’s fine as long as 62-24 still holds up as well.
by DT on Dec 17, 2007 9:43 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

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