David Cutcliffe has allegedly taken the job of being Chernobyl firefighter and volunteered for dangerous People’s glory! Meaning that he’s taken the job of Duke head coach, leaving Tennessee looking for an offensive coordinator. Joel’s thinking Gus Malzahn, a pick that would tickle us blind–especially if they rip up shit in the SEC East when Houston Nutt clamped him into a run-first shell and tamped down the no-huddle.

Cutcliffe will lose many games at Duke. That’s what Duke coaches do, dangit, regardless of their qualifications, because this is Duke, and there’s no easy way out, shortcut home, grunty male vocal about to blow o-ring exhortation.

(There’s at least one team delighted to see Cutcliffe go: Georgia is 0-9 versus Tennessee with Cutcliffe in the booth.)

Forgive him, he lives in Michigan. Andy Moeller, offensive line coach for Michigan and likely a job-shopper in the coming month or so, had no blocking scheme for the drinks that rushed him sometime last Saturday afternoon: pulled over for DUI, he refused a breathalyzer because that’s precisely what Barry Zuckercorn would advise you to do. The important question is not whether Moeller might have an alcohol problem (remember, dad Gary was tossed out of a restaurant for a drunken tirade during his tenure as Michigan coach,) but whether he was driving an Amurrican car at the time.

Bumpkin Booster Bolt BCS to Board, Bring ‘ball to Brontosauran Backwater Status! The Wiz has a nice article that the tradition, respect, and all those other crap words people trot out to defend indefensible things certainly apply to the bowl system: the head of the Emerald Bowl makes six figures for putting on the goddamn Emerald Bowl.

In 2002, Gary Cavalli earned $90,000 as executive of a new postseason game in San Francisco. In 2006, his compensation package was $362,018 for the game now called the Emerald Bowl.

While Chan Gailey certainly appreciates his hard work, remember that 362K in San Fran converts to 16 grand anywhere else. We’d be surprised if he doesn’t sleep in a mission and mug tourists for spare change in his spare time. We’re not playoff soldiers as we used to be, but don’t look for us to look to the West and get weepy thinking about the glories of the bowl system, especially when a miserable Maryland team gets bowl coin.

Jim Tressel has encouraged 13 of his juniors to fill out paperwork testing the waters in this year’s NFL draft.

It’s brilliant for recruiting, and ballsy in a smart way, not ballsy in that “I’ll-go-for-it-from-my-own-thirty-something-in-the-2nd-quarter-way.” OOOOOHHH BURRRRRRN we can only use for a few more weeks, since the expiration date on gloating is precisely one year and one year only. Please take note, Nebraska and Notre Dame fans.

It’s been a while since we’ve done Iron Maiden on Friday, and with Christmas around the corner, our thoughts turn naturally to the reason for the season: Satan.