WE PROMISE, LAST PETRINO POST
This will be the last Petrino post before we move on to other business and merely end any story re: Petrino with “Bobby Petrino says he wants to be at Arkansas, it’s where his family wants to be, and he’s staying at Arkansas.” It’s LSUFreek’s impromptu photoshopping of Jesus Camp crossed with the Petrino press conference, and you know we can’t resist the siren song of homegrown surrealism.
EDSBS is not responsible for any seizures or convulsions resulting from this.
If you’ve ever wondered what the inside of an SEC fan’s head looks like most of the time, well, this is frighteningly close. Just plug in the appropriate mascot head and coach, and that’s about 45% of the brain activity of any given day. Titties, beer, batter, and rivals.com pretty much soaks up the rest.
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1
TIGERinATL says:
Blank is ripping Petrino pretty good at a press conference right now. Basically calling him out as a quitter.
Future Petrino fodder: Blank says that when trying to pry into Petrino’s future plans, Bobby told him that “since he was ten years old” he “gets nervous when discussing things he is uncofortable about.” Headcase or cop-out? You make the call.
December 12th, 2007 at 2:21 pm
2
NoleinTexas says:
God, it’s like what Cartman sees when he closes his eyes.
December 12th, 2007 at 2:21 pm
3
Oops Pow Surprise says:
he “gets nervous when discussing things he is uncofortable about”
Bobby Petrino is MOTO: Master Of The Obvious!
December 12th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
4
WDamnE says:
Great work again, LSUFreek. If only it could have the sound of the Sooeee Pig from the press conference.
December 12th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
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Boston Nick says:
That’s one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever seen.
Jesus Freaks scare me…Child Jesus Freaks make me want to climb into bed, pull the covers over my head and listen to Slayer on full blast.
December 12th, 2007 at 2:31 pm
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TIGERinATL says:
OPS,
Well it was in the context that Petrino couldn’t just “discuss” what was on his mind with Blank. Blank had to shut up and let Petrino monologue about things that were bothering him.
December 12th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
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Mr Pelican Pants says:
Are you sure this wasnt from a Tim Tebow autograph signing?
December 12th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
8
DC Trojan says:
Every so often some flat-earther tells me to get an ‘murrican accent or go back where I came from… that video makes me wonder if maybe I should seek refuge with my fellow dentally challenged pasty-faced brethren.
December 12th, 2007 at 2:38 pm
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Mr Pelican Pants says:
Better yet, from the documentary “Tim Tebow Camp”?
He will not only teach you how to destroy your opponents and make them envious of your life, he will teach you how to “work thru the pain”, just like Jesus….
Hopefully Tim Tebow isnt a Scientologist…..
December 12th, 2007 at 2:38 pm
10
TIGERinATL says:
Delta’s ready when you are, limey.
December 12th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
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DC Trojan says:
Delta’s ready when you are, limey.
Fuck that, I’m not flying via Atlanta. Nothing’s that bad.
December 12th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
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Mr Pelican Pants says:
All kidding aside, I’ll be glad when we can teach these kids to kill….overseas…..specifically Iraq,Iran,and Afghanistan…nothing like a little “Village of the Damned” action in a hostile enviroment…pose them as missionaries…..then they kill at night…and then they leave, onto the next country….
December 12th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
13
TIGERinATL says:
It can’t be that bad connecting here. Traffic, parking, and security are my biggest issues with good ol’ Hartsfield-Jackson International.
December 12th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
14
Out of Conference says:
Damn skippy Mr. PP – tell them the terrorists are queer and that one of them killed Dale Earnhardt.
December 12th, 2007 at 2:56 pm
15
The Conscience of a Nation says:
DJ Trojan–
Fight the inbreds…women love Scottish accents *swoon*
At the ranch we just got back from, there was a charming blonde Scottish wrangler with green eyes and the most lovely accent. He was tall, muscular and great with the horses. Orson and I agreed that he must be SWIMMING in tail.
We have a joke here in ATL: good people die and go to heaven. Bad people die and go to hell, and have to transfer through Hartsfield-Jackson on the way.
December 12th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
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SunDawg says:
Tiger, I don’t think it’s the airport per se, I think it’s the contents of the airport (people like us) that upsets him.
December 12th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
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Edsall is God says:
The SEC scares me.
December 12th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
18
The Conscience of a Nation says:
DC Trojan, I mean. Unless you’re actually the world’s first Scottish USC-fan rap impresario.
December 12th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
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Rival says:
Imagine Hartsfield filled with those Jesus-freak kids in a 2-day layover.
Now that would be Hell.
December 12th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
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robert says:
Best post of the day.
December 12th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
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jon kocak's thighs says:
mmmmmm… beer battered titties
wait, what were we talking about?
December 12th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
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ChandlerPIrvin says:
Not that anyone cares that Colorado State has hired a new head coach (Fairchild, of the Buffalo Bills), but isn’t amusing that Ft. Collins can get a coach from the NFL while Michigan is STILL shitting their Huggies in Ann Arbor?
December 12th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
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Techie says:
Hartsfield is by far the easiest airport to fly in and out of?
Have none of you people ever been through Dalls/Ft. Worth or, shudder, LAX?
December 12th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
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Kate says:
Um, awkward. http://www.ajc.com/sports/content/sports/falcons/stories/2007/12/12/petrinoletter_1212.html or http://img.coxnewsweb.com/B/02/83/02/image_6302832.jpg
That gif is gold.
December 12th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
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Volorado says:
Amazingly, listening to Zeppelin’s “Babe, I’m Gonna Leave You” while watching this montage fits perfectly. Coincidence, I think not.
December 12th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
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gerry dorsey says:
lsufreek just caused me to shart my draws.
December 12th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
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Techie says:
That’s first sentence is a statement, not a question.
Also, Petrino’s a douchebag.
December 12th, 2007 at 3:31 pm
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gerry dorsey says:
techie,
as a man living in dallas, let me be the first to say fuck dfw airport!!!
December 12th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
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DC Trojan says:
TCOAN @ 15, 18: Alas, the accent only goes so far. As for “DJ,” I am sadly deficient in busting moves and rhymes – he said, cold lampin with flava and kicking it old school.
SunDawg @ 16, not true at all. I may not want to *live* in the south but this grand country would be infinitely duller without all y’all.
Techie @ 23: I first arrived in this fair land at LAX – back when they had inflatable buildings instead of an international terminal. Even at that, it was like a vacation compared to Heathrow – easily the worst first-world airport going.
December 12th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
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Brian says:
Anyone saying Hartsfield Sucks is a fuckin rookie. I once – post 9/11 mind you – went to my gate, realized i had my friend’s keys, came allll the way out to lost and found by the bagage claim, dropped em off, went back and still had time to buy porno at the Hudson News and jerk off in the bathroom before the flight. (only 2 parts of that statement are false)
DWF sucks, but Love field is AWESOME.
Cincinnati airport blows.
JFK is a fuck fest
December 12th, 2007 at 3:52 pm
31
kleph says:
perhaps, tcoan. but the OLD atlanta airport was hellishly worse. my grandmother (old school atlanta) claimed it was laid out by a blind spaniard on a drunk horse.
and as for accents… there is just something about the way those aussie women talk that makes my insides feel all gooey and warm.
December 12th, 2007 at 3:57 pm
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Brian O'Blivion says:
What’s up with the dude with the pink hair in the background? Is that the Jesus Camp version of Goth?
December 12th, 2007 at 4:39 pm
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NDTom says:
O’Hare is a portal to a universe in unending pain. It makes ATL look like disneyworld
December 12th, 2007 at 4:52 pm
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The Bull-Gator says:
Having been to an evangelical school, I have met many kids like those in that movie. What makes me happy is that they tend to become wash-out drunks and addicts. I’m happy with their misery and quite pleased to question the existence and intreptation of their god.
December 12th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
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robert says:
This airport talk is getting it all wrong. You’ve gotta think globally. Charles De Gaulle in Paris is THE most fucked up airport in the world. If you board the wrong bus (yes, BUS) to get to your gate, well I hope your French is good.
December 12th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
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Brian O'Blivion says:
Charles De Gaulle in Paris is THE most fucked up airport in the world.
This is SO true. I was there checking in for a flight, and I heard this really loud BOOM! I thought something had exploded, and it turns out, I was right. If they find luggage unattended they FUCKING BLOW IT UP. It was surreal.
December 12th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
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DC Trojan says:
If they find luggage unattended they FUCKING BLOW IT UP. It was surreal.
How else are they going to show their contempt for American tourists? Just because they only work 37 hours a week doesn’t mean that they can’t have a little job satisfaction.
December 12th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
38
maskedavenger says:
You know what would make this whole chain of dominoes more exciting? How about if the Falcons hired Les Miles?
Pardon me while I return to scouring team websites for “hot” assistants.
Oh and can anyone explain this here spinnaker doohickey? (Bill Martin is no longer returning my e-mails, and I figure I’m going to have to bump into at his yacht club).
December 12th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
39
Gary Busey says:
If he gives us seven years, like Holtz, I’ll be happy.
ESPN and the rest of the SEC are absolutely livid today that Arkansas hit a homerun, because Arkysaw or Our-Kansas or whatever the asshole of the day is calling us just isn’t supposed to do that. They’re a bunch of inbreds for God’s sake.
An oft overlooked fact, particularly on this blog, is that Arkansas has made more SECCG appearances in the last five years than Florida. Just think what we’ll do now with a real coach.
Bite me!
December 12th, 2007 at 6:23 pm
40
PortTrojan says:
“And while we’re on the subject, let me say something about Bobby Petrino. Warlocks are enemies of God! And I don’t care what kind of hero they are. They’re an enemy of God. And had it been in the Old Testament; Bobby Petrino would’ve been put to death…We DON’T make heroes out of warlocks!”
December 12th, 2007 at 7:30 pm
41
Brian says:
Exploding Luggage in Charles De Gaulle: I can attest to the truth of this, he is not exaggerating one iota. The army came in, isolated the bag – IN THE CONCOURSE – AND EXPLODED IT. While it wasn’t a fireball, it was loud, and some clothes flew in the air. I was like, hmm what if that’d be a real bomb?
December 12th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
42
Irwin Fletcher says:
@Busey…
Arkansas hitting a home run by bagging Petrino? It is to laugh. He was like the 5th pick on the Hogs list, right?
Petrino showed he’s a liar, a quitter, and not an all around stand-up fellow. If that’s what you dig, enjoy. You think Arkansas is the greenest pasture in doll-like inky black mercenary eyes?
One last thing, I forget, how many SECCG’s has Arkansas actually won in the past 5 years? I am sure you’ve got a closet full of ‘02 and ‘06 SEC West Champions gear. Someone has to buy that crap.
December 12th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
43
Chg says:
“…how many SECCG’s has Arkansas actually won in the past 5 years?”
What’s your point? While the SECC is passed around more than in one trick ponies like the WAC or Big Ten, the depth makes it possible to have a great season and still not get a conference title. Ask Georgia.
December 13th, 2007 at 12:11 am
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Dr. Ed PHD.XYZ says:
DFW,LAX & JFK. #1,2,3 in screwed up airports.
December 13th, 2007 at 6:12 am
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Irwin Fletcher says:
My point is that I’d rather my team win the Title game once in five years than to play for it twice in five years and lose both times. Not too hard to understand really.
What exactly should I ask UGA?
“How’s it feel to be on the outside looking in?”
“How’s it feel to lose to both Tenn and USCe which cost you a chance at playing for the MNC?”
“What unsportsmanlike antics will Richt pull next year to pump up the team?”
I wouldn’t call UGA’s season great just yet. They’ve won exactly “squat” so far. Great bowl game and pay day for sure but unless they actually beat Hawaii, there ain’t much there.
Unless of course the moral victories of beating AU and UF in the same year count as great. I would hope the bar would be raised a bit higher than that in Athens.
December 13th, 2007 at 11:10 am