CURIOUS INDEX, 12/12/07

Didja forget a link or something under the mistress/spouse bit? Or is that some kind of a message to TCOAN?

If it is a message to TCOAN, then Orson is a cold mother fucker. A blog post? The proper nonconfrontational brushoff format in the digital age is e-mail.

Hell no! We forgot links. We forgot links. We forgot links.

Jesus, that kind of shit will get a man straight-killed, sir.

Who do you think we are, Bobby Petrino?

Your wife/mistress analogy makes me glad that mine is too busy cooking, raising my kids, and exercising to act like that.

I wouldn’t expect any Cardinals to be ecstatic that the coach that brought them to a 12-1 season and a BCS bowl win is coming back to another university campus. What with going 6-6 this season with an ex-Heisman-projected QB because Petrino sprung and left them when he saw the $$$, and all.

Forget the teams when it comes to Bama vs. Arkansas next September, it’ll be Saban v. Petrino in the SEC’s Biggest Slimeball Bowl. Also fantastic is the Tubberville v. Petrino rumble a couple weeks later, and how great will Houston Nutt returning to Fayetteville but with the Ole Miss Wildboyz be? Because SEC football has become about the coaches, people.

How shameless do you have to be, by the way, to have that track record and still have the gall to attempt recruiting young kids and winning over their parents? He couldn’t stick around when his college team was winning BCS bowls, he couldn’t stick around when the pro coaching job he called a “dream” went south, so what do you think will keep him with your guys? Teaching his family how to sqeal WOO PIG SOOIE like they care beyond the money?

(Hint: No.)

Just wanted to say thanks a million for putting Angel of the Morning in my head. Really, thanks so bloody much.

 I’m off to get in the car for my after-traffic commute and if I get to work with my ears bleeding from listening to No Sleep til Hammersmith, maybe I’ll have scrubbed that worthless so-called song out of my head.

Make it stop!

P.S., even by the low low standards of NFL and college football, Petrino really is a pathetic douche-nozzle.

That press conference…where they stood and did the Woo Pig Sooie for 2-3 minutes was surreal.

I couldn’t believe I was watching this on live TV at 12 o’clock at night. I felt like I was watching some new psycho-thriller about a cold, murderous, cult leader coming to power.

In a way – I might be right.

Screw the Petrino talk. The best part of this is the possibility of Spurrier and Oregeron together. Now that’s a conversation I want to hear. Click clack motherfuckers!

I don’t get this nomad thing. Louisville was and still is a stepping stone job. He used his success there to try to land a job at Auburn. When that fell through he coached a couple of more years until the NFL came calling. This is common. Is Meyer a mercenary for going from Bowling Green to Utah to Florida in the span of a few years? Petrino took a job that turned out not to be what he expected and got out with his coaching reputation intact. Aside from lying to Blank, why are people outraged?

Bowden in the booth another year? Not so fast my friend, aren’t you forgetting that job in Michigan is still open. There’s still hope.

I’m with The Last Dragon. I’ve had visions of Boom Motherfucker and Spread Eagle dancing in my head all night, and now all I can think about is Ole Ball Coach and Yaw yaw yaw footbaw. I love the SEC! God help me, I do love it so.

He didn’t finish, Biggus. Even Meyer—a bit of a mercenary himself—spent two years at each stop and finished the season before going. Petrino couldn’t make it through a year.

whatever FUCK the Falcons! half the fans don’t care anyways because they’re all just holding out hope that Vick will be back someday to lead this team to 7-9 or 8-8 seasons, while the rest of us are left to curse the football gods for giving us such a soul crushing franchise to root for. i don’t blame Petrino for getting out of town. all of this shit is still the fault of Rich McKay, Arthur Blanke, Jim Mora Jr., and of course Mike Vick. they created this mess and Petrino was smart enough to realize he needed to get the fuck out. i’m just pissed that the SEC just got that much tougher.

Biggus, I think there’s a big difference between moving up from BG to Utah to UF (all logical career moves) and going from Louisville to trying to stab your previous boss (Tuberville) in the back then claiming that the Falcons Job was the “best job in the NFL” only to leave before your first season is even over to go BACK to college.

@Tiger in Atl – which one? The spouse or the mistress?

Also, who in the hell takes a mistress who isn’t as good looking as the wife? Isn’t that one of the bullet-points for having an affair?*

• So I hear.

suicide

Rich McKay needs to go…yesterday.

Orson,

I get that. On the surface it looks shitty. On the other hand, it may have been a jump or sink situation. For recruiting purposes I’m sure Arkansas wanted a coach sooner rather than later. They could have given him a deadline and would have settled for Muschamp if he didn’t act. I suppose he could’ve announced that he was taking the job and finished out the season, but really what would be the point of that?

1. - Nice Patton reference

+1 to you sir.

“The lions in their dens tremble at your approach.”

You’re right about Fedora, Orson…. the offenses he coached at every stop that I’m aware of have all been extremely successful, including Marshall, Florida and Ok State. They might not win a lot of games for a while, but USM is going to hang a shit-ton of points on people while they’re trying….

Tony,

Spouse. No mistress.

And I agree, if I was gonna put my whole family at risk, it better be for a damn perfect 10.

Regardless of whether or not Petrino was RIGHT to leave the Falcons he was still SMART to do so.

He had to have realized that- A: his system will NOT work in the NFL B: the fans don’t care at all C: the Vick debacle is sending the team straight to hell.

He realized that he did not have a play-off caliber team w/ or w/o vick (Harrington and Leftwhich took the team from sub-par to god fucking awful) and that anything less than play-offs would be seen as a failure. The expectations by the fans were entirely quixotic. Arky fans will be happy with 8/9 wins a year and the occasional West title.

On an unrelated aside: Mitch Mustain must feel like a dickhead now.

And I blame my alabama public learnin’ for not being sure if it should be “if I was” or “if I were.”

Re #22: I’m pretty sure that an integral element of being Mitch Mustain is never feeling like a dickhead even when it is manifestly clear that you are one.

Re: #24 in re: 22:

I think that it’s an integral element in being a Trojan QB period. See JD Booty and his ‘mourning’ after the loss to Stanford or Matt Leinert’s life.

10

It looks like lying to Arthur Blank is really popular in ATL this year. A toss-up between Vick & Petrino for slimeball of the year.

If The Orgeron comes to Chikinville, will they let him build a TGI Lemsday’s? Is he bringing his slip-n-slide along too?

Petrino is a douche bag. Probably the debacle at Auburn wasn’t his fault, but he was the centerpiece of one of the worst acts of shitheadedness I’ve seen in a while. And he was ALWAYS on the make while he was at Louisville. Even Dantonio didn’t turn the red light on at the end of EVERY season.

I think that may have been more of a “Night Before Christmas” reference than a Patton reference. No mention of the bodies turning white.

Global Warming. Rising Water. Some SEC school gets a beach. Pete Carroll brings the grotto east to said school.

This is the most conceivable way we can fit more coaching talent in down here.

6 -

How are Petrino and Saban the same? Saban lied specifically so that he wouldn’t do what Petrino has done. Saban denied the Bama job b/c he owed it to his players to coach them through the end of the season and not quit on them. Petrino up and left IN MIDSEASON!
Not to mention the fact that the only reason Saban was forced to lie was b/c he was hounded by the press everyday about it. Petrino had a much worse situation, there were rumors about him leaving all season, and yet he didn’t have do answer any questions about it. And he still quit midseason.
I don’t think either coach was wrong for leaving; the situation that both faced truly warranted an NFL coach if they were to have any chance of making it through that. However, comparing Saban & Petrino is bullshit. Saban got killed by the media for doing it the right way, and Petrino gets a pass for truly screwing over his organization. Go figure.

The point would be clean break, professional courtesy, valuing a relationship…all of those things that a cell-phone resignation three games before the end of the season isn’t.

It’s business, but in your own interests, you want to assume some reciprocation of courtesy. Say Petrino had actually sat down with Arthur Blank and the players, been a person to them, and said, “Hey, I’m sorry, but I suck at this and hate it. I’m quitting, I’m ashamed, and I’m leaving.” That would be a slightly different story. That’s failure, not desertion.

Instead, here’s what happened:

“He just said to us, ‘Guys I’ve resigned, I’m going to Arkansas. I’m sorry. I’ll be talking with you guys in the future.’ And with that he turned and walked out the door. We haven’t been told anything else,” one assistant coach told Glazer.

He didn’t meet with the players, either. If you care to go back, there’s <a href="http://media.www.louisvillecardinal.com/media/storage/paper964/news/2006/12/05/News/Petrino.Leaves.Cards-2601256.shtml" rel="nofollow">his statement in August of 2006, right before he left to go to the Falcons:

“I can’t tell you how happy I am with the commitment and the confidence that Tom Jurich has in me and the university has in me,” Petrino said after signing the contract. “I also wanted to make sure that everyone understood, I know I’ve said it, that this is where my family wants to be. This is where I want to be. I want everyone to really believe it.”

We’re not a nanny type, but for chrissakes…some courtesy or loyalty, even of the most superficial kind, would designate him as something other than a contractor for coaching services.

i don’t blame Petrino. the Falcons are awful. that being said, all will be right in the world if Darren McFadden lands in the ATL. also i imagine Tubberville will have no problem motivating the Tigers to dismantle Arkansas any and every oppurtunity they get.

Re: Mustain, is that guy ever going to start a game at SC? Isn’t he in the same class as Sanchez? Between what I saw of him and Pete Carroll’s need to reach market dominance in the bario, there’s no way Sanchez doesn’t own that position for the next several years.

He may be a giant douchebag, but he is our giant douchebag now.

And go fuck yourself ESPN.

Now, to continue my 3 hours at O’Hare today…

All you Bama fans who were wondering when you’d be compared to a team involved in a coaching search this year—here’s your team.

Hired a douche bag NFL guy shortly removed from college—check

Weird press conferences where even the local press slobbers the new guy’s knob—check

Once storied program that has flirted with success lately but is struggling to stay relevant—check

Batshit insane fanbase—check

Natural inclination of ESPN to look down on a cultural backwater—check

Looks like all systems are go.

Cock ’n Fire On The Bayou?!? Colonel Sanders is crying.

Spurrier better give Special Ed a ‘gimme’ when he’s 4th and 1 at Augusta.

CoachOsgonnamakasumroostagumbo!

NoleinTexas @ 32: Re: your barrio comment, Sanchez is from the OC and not north county – he played at Rancho Santa Margarita and Mission Viejo. Hardly cholo territory.

The closest SC gets to a barrio QB is recruiting from Mater Dei – that neighborhood is a tad sketchy.

Doug @ 25 – They must have missed your memo suggesting that QBs are supposed to live a monkish existence of self-flagellation.

Congratulations Orson,

With the slime quotient down dramatically in Atlanta it must be much easier to walk and breathe in said town.

Surely you jest though. A drive by call on the cell is just so much easier for BP, any scintilla of integrity be damned.

Impostor Doug @#22:

“Arky fans will be happy with 8/9 wins a year and the occasional West title.”

Just like they were with Nutt, right?

Of course, it’s academic anyway, since Petrino won’t be within 500 miles of Fayetteville around this time in 2010.

Texas A&M and Arkansas are trying to get a 2 or 4 game series going at the new Cowboys stadium in Arlington…which team has the bigger cult? Discuss.

Alabama Fan: At least Saban didn’t bail on Miami leave before the season ended.

Arkansas Fan: At least Petrino didn’t say “I will not be the Arkansas coach!”

Like it or not, guys, Saban and Petrino are deuche bags of equal standing.

Fair enough. He should have handled his departure from the Falcons better. Though loyalty in the NFL is pretty much nonexistant, whether player, coach or owner, professional courtesy should be expected.

The Louisville quote reads like every coach who ever denied a rumor that he was going to leave.

And Saban is a 6-6 deuche bag at that. I think Petrino can beat that mark in his first year with the pork chops.

Love the Kurosawa reference

Arthur Blank ran Home Depot… Do you guys think this is the first time he has been lied to? Vick wasn’t ever going to be the answer for any team, but he did make a lot of money for the Falcons. McKay, et al, are about to feel the edge of Blank’s katana.

All I know is that I want an MP3 of Orgeron yelling about Jasper Brinkley and Ladi Ajiboye.

Jerkwehat – My sentiments exactly. ESPN has been harsh on our douchey. Sorry about ORD.

DCTrojan, NoleinTexas – This may just be homerism, but I thought Mustain was doing more than pretty good at SC and there will be an actual competition. Either way, I don’t think he is too sad, he is at USC afterall.

Yes, I am sure the backup QB at USCw has a Thighsman quotient lightyears beyond many starters at other institutions.

Re: 38

Had it not been for the Springfield Debacle this summer Arky fans probably wouldn’t have fun off Nutt.

You aren’t quite right on that 2010 bit about Petrino. This time NEXT WEEK, he’ll be announced for the Michigan job.

So, when does Blank put out the hits on Petrino, McKay, and Vick?

I’m still giggling over here at the silly “Saban was forced to lie” remark that dude offered above.

Both DMac and Felix Jones are projected as 1st round picks.
Monk, Arky’s only good pass-catching WR is a senior.

Petrino’s got Dick and Dick ain’t gonna get it done.
The insane email- and cell-phone-record-prying fans may tire of his porcine visage before he gets an urge to coach again.

And how’d his “genius” offense do in the SEC last time? Auburn was nice on offense in 2004, but that was Al “Offense of Forking Paths” Borges. 387.5 yds/gm by my math in 2002…but take out the stats from the suck teams (DivII Western Carolina, Louisiana Monroe, I’ll leave in Syracuse b/c I can’t remember if they had hit the nadir of suck in 2002) and you get 355 yds/ gm (and about 25 points per game, down from the season average of 29.8)

Not teh suck, but nothing to be feared either.

I have an image in my head of the Georgia Dome burning, MV7 pouring gasoline on the flames, Arthur Blank crying, and Bobby P flying a jet out of town. Someone make this happen b/c I don’t have the photoshop expertise to do it. (It should look similar to the Dennis Erickson Volcano Pic)

I heard Terry Bowden on local sports talk radio back in October, lobbying for a job like he was Mr. T, and someone was casting the Cherry Orchard. http://www.ifilm.com/video/2796599

The Dolls House, sorry, Ibsen.

Petrino only lies when his lips are moving. Now that’s he’s signed on at Arkansas, I expect him to be interviewing for the Michigan job by week’s end. Would someone please get that man a copy of “The Ethical Slut”, already?

Other Will,

I’m guessing you are trying to say that Petrino will perform as poorly or worse in his first Ark year than Saban’s first bama year.

If you take out the “suck teams” you have to do it for whatever offense you are comparing Petrino’s to.

The insane email- and cell-phone-record-prying fans may tire of his porcine visage before he gets an urge to coach again.

Have you seen the bama fan base? Am I the only one who thought last night was a remake of Saban’s Tuscaloosa Airport scene last year?

Not teh [sic] suck, but nothing to be feared either.

Ditto for bama.

Has anyone discussed the “Fried Chicken” comment made by Arthur Blank on MNF?

DC – Eh, all latin last names look the same to me. If PC wants complete street cred in all the territories, he’d better slap a red bandana on Sanchez and have him celebrate every TD by flashing gang signs or killing a member of a different race.

I don’t think Blank said anything wrong. He was just talking about eating fattening fried foods and I would bet my life that there was no racial thought about it. That is PURELY injected by over sensitive self-victimizers.

Blank also said Vick should stay away from “prison-y food”. And shivs. Stay clear of the shivs, #7.

Blank didn’t warn about the showers, but he did that “I don’t even have to tell you about that” look when Tirico asked if he had advice on dropping the soap.

Do you think prison guard dogs know what Vick did? I bet they do.

I never thought “Fried Chicken” was a racial thing. I thought it was a Southern thing (and a damn good one…that reminds me that there are no Bojangles remotely near me).

And I posit that the FOIA-loving subset of the Arky fan base is muy mas loco than the Saban-worshipping folk in T-town.

If Son of Shula had put up the same record as Nutt’s last two years (with the win over LSU analogous to beating Auburn, and an SEC title game appearance, losing to the eventual National Champ) he’d still be at Bama. Even if he ran off a QB of debatable talent, his HS coach-cum-OC in favor of running the ball because he realized that he had a TB that could be compared to Jackson and Walker without laughter.

What, I love fried chicken and I’m as white as a Bryan Adams concert in Tacoma, WA.

When I heard Blank say that, I honestly thought to myself, “Damn some fried chicken sounds good right now.” The possibility that it could be a racial comment never hit me until I heard morons in the media talking about it the next day. Some people think that if a statement could somehow be spun to be offensive then it should be to teach us non-PC types to watch ourselves.

We have to agree to disagree on the Ark vs. Bama fan bases. They each suffocating in their own way. In Arkansas, unrealistic expectations are manifested through FOIA requests and coup attempts. In Alabama they take the form of idol worship and an arrogant self assurance that no matter the current situation, they are definitely going to Atlanta next year. Both create an oppressive environment for a coach.

1. Mustain just sat out his year for switching schools. He will have 3 years of eligibility left and Sanchez has 2. I think there will be a real competition in the spring. MS has the edge going in over MM since he has had much more work with the first team while MM was running the scout team all year (but doing a great job it is said).

DC: The area around Matter Dei is looking better these days. The city has widened Bristol street and put in lots of trees and MD went on a building spree a couple of years ago. It looks more like a college now than many of the small colleges around (MD is one of the two big Catholic high schools in the OC).

#58: I agree 100% about Blank. Some folks are trying to create controversy out of nothing.

Hey, I like fried chicken too…and watermelon!

My vote is for Harold’s (Chicago), or good old Popeye’s. Mmmmmmmmm…..

1. — Sycophantic, toady delusion at its finest

“Not to mention the fact that the only reason Saban was forced to lie was b/c he was hounded by the press everyday about it.”

“However, comparing Saban & Petrino is bullshit. Saban got killed by the media for doing it the right way, and Petrino gets a pass for truly screwing over his organization. "

This is gold, Jerry, Gold.

+1, Techie.

Yeah, Blank said fried chicken and fries, not fried chicken and waffles, totally different parts of town.

I think I’m going to Popeye’s for lunch.

TigerATL – Arkansas is not that bad. It looks and sounds bad, but the asshat in Oxford was a cockroach in nuclear winter. He wasn’t going to go anywhere and he had political support, that is why the unusual steps. We’ve had more problems with our AD firing Holtz and forcing out a good triple option/flexbone coach in the late 80’s.

The only way Petrino is leaving Fayetteville is in a pine box.

The Orgeron AND Spurrier at South Carolina? This is starting to sound like my Chelski Manager Mode team from Fifa 08.

The AJC says Blank found out about this from Jerry Jones. Isn’t that tampering?

Don’t you know Jamaal Anderson’s and Chis Houston’s cells have been ringing off the hook (Falcons 1st 2 draft picks last year – both Razorback for those of you who have a life)

THREADJACK

http://www.sportingnews.com/blog/ferociousjane/123402

True Jim Tressel story you WON’T read about (and that’s unfortunate).

My brother is friends with Tyson Gentry and his family. When he came up to Columbus a couple of weeks ago he spent an afternoon with them and came away with the following story:

Gentry works out (rehabs) at the OSU football facility and on one machine in particular he spends alot of time. About a month ago Tressel is walking through the room and stops by to say hello. Real small talk type of stuff, generic in fashion but pointed toward Gentry.

One of the last things Tressel asks is about the rehab, etc… and Gentry mentions things are going well. Tressel asks about some of the exercises that Gentry does and Gentry mentions that the machine he is presently on seems to do the best for him and that he uses it whenever it is available.

Apparantly( sic) it is a popular machine to use in the facility.

After a couple of more minutes of talk, Tressel leaves and that’s it. However, the following week Gentry goes to the doctor’s office for a visit, etc.. comes back home and in his garage is a brand new-version of
that machine. Paid for ($6,000) by Tressel himself with a note that says
“you’ll never have to wait in line to use it again.”
-———————-

If this is true my hatred for OSU is reduced. Slightly.