HEY, ERIN
Andre Ware: Hey. Erin.
Erin Andrews: Hey. What? Workin’ here.
Andre: ….
Erin: Seriously. Working here. Busy. Terribly. Make it quick.
Andre: …
Erin: What the hell, Andre? What? Just say it! I’ve got an interview in three minutes. Spit it the fuck out.
Andre: …
Erin: JUST FUCKING SAY SOMETHING DAMMIT! TALK, YOU FAILED-SYSTEM-QUARTERBACK TURNED-BROADCASTER!!!!
Andre: So…how ’bout it? Eh? You? Me? My little friend here.
Erin: …
Andre: Eh?
Erin: Not a soul, right?
Andre: Dick Cheney and a waterboard wouldn’t get it out of me, baby.
Erin: Seriously. Like not one fucking word. Even to Pam Ward, right?
Andre: Gitmo tight, baby. Less than silence.
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1
Rival says:
Andre looks like a skinny Sinbad.
Not the sea-faring one.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
2
Eirishis says:
NOT. FAIR.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
3
Sarah says:
Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew. Thank you for the worst image ever. Never gonna get this one out of my head.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
4
Allahver Fist says:
And her whites are even whiter.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
5
Aerobab says:
I don’t get it…if Andre has 5 fingers, why would he only offer Ms. Andrews 3 of them?
December 11th, 2007 at 12:08 pm
6
EufaulaPete says:
#5
That’s all she could take?
December 11th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
7
Orson Swindle says:
We’re sorry. You know it’s unfair when you’re laughing as you put it together.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
8
Mr. Wrong says:
I love picture stories.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
9
kleph says:
it’s posts like this that actually have me looking forward to the offseason.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
10
Warthen says:
#6, despite the lack of arm fat, I assure you that she went to UF.
Thus, she’ll take as many as you’ve got.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
11
Hook'em Tide says:
I sense a “shocker” joke coming.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
12
Port City Gangsta says:
#11 Nice to meet you “Didn’t get the joke the first time” guy
December 11th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
13
gerry dorsey says:
for what its worth that’s the hand sign for the uh cougs. as a non texan living in texas, it didn’t take me long to figure out that you’re not allowed to field a d1 football team in this fucking state without a hand sign.
the idea of andre offering up the shocker to andrews is obviously funnier though.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
14
Bobby Decatur says:
Do people honestly think she’s that hot? I’ve never seen it. She’s just a slightly taller version of the next 600,000 husky-voiced androgyous transplanted blondes dwelling between Vinings and Buckhead.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
15
Nick Saban says:
I don’t have time for this shit.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
16
Orson Swindle says:
Bobby–
No.
-O.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
17
Geaux Irish says:
Gotta love those U-H Cougars!
December 11th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
18
Marshawn Lynch's Injury Cart says:
A punisher. Excellent.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
19
The Last Dragon says:
I’d hit it. I don’t know if that qualifies her as “hot”. Just sayin……….
Nonetheless, this was funny as hell!! I was laughing out loud.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
20
PeteJayhawk says:
Yeah Gerry, what the fuck is up with those hand signs? Stupid fucking Texans.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
21
Signal to Noise says:
#14 – she’s damn cute for the sideline reporter field.
Erin’s gotta have higher standards than THAT. I don’t care if he won a Heisman or not.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
22
Sabanite says:
Erin,
This hurts worse than the loss to Pitt…
Love always,
s/ Pat White
December 11th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
23
PW says:
Bobby Decatur,
Not all of us get to live lives where we get to traipse around with hot naked supermodels all day like you do, OK?
December 11th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
24
Sarah says:
Bobby, excuse me … what? “600,000 husky-voiced androgyous transplanted blondes dwelling between Vinings and Buckhead”? I agree this describes Ms. Andrews, but 600,000? I feel like you’re insulting the women of Atlanta, but I’m not really sure.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:25 pm
25
Rich Brooks says:
I think this is bullshit.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
26
Billy in Baton Rouge says:
This was honestly so funny I couldn’t even laugh at it.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
27
Scalz1 says:
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
Yes.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
28
Kernel says:
Cougar High strikes again
December 11th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
29
TideDruid says:
Chill out guys, That is just a system orgasm. It won’t make it in the pro game.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
30
Rival says:
Jake Arute really doesn’t get a fair shake in the “cute sideline reporters” debate, in my opinion.
And I would move the Atlanta husky-voiced blonde region from “Vinings to Buckhead” to “Sandy Springs to Milton”. They all moved north once Buckhead became the hot spot for cruising the streets with your gangsta rap blaring.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
31
Bobby Decatur says:
Sarah, apologies if that hit close to home, but it’s 600k at the very least.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
32
Will (the other one) says:
It could be that Bobby only goes for the helium-voiced ladies. Now don’t get me wrong, a nice-colaltura soprano is nice, and a damn sight better than Kim Cattrall’s “I’m a man” voice, but the only thing I’d say is bad about Erin’s voice is the distinct nasal-strain of a midwest/upper-midwest accent.
That said, I’d totally hit it.
Even though as a Boston fan, I’m sure she’s holding out for Jacoby Ellsbury.
That said, we could never date. Dawgs and Gators living together?
And it’d be funnier if someone could photoshop a bow-tie with the Cincinnati bengals logo on it onto Mr. Andre “David Klingler had better #s than me” Ware.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
33
Will (the other one) says:
I’ll be driving from Buckhead thru Vinings this evening…I don’t think there are even 600,000 PEOPLE total in that area (granted, I’m taking Paces…one of the few spots ITP with lots above 1/1000th acre).
December 11th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
34
Brian says:
Nah, my buddy lived in Vinings, its stocked full of hot mommies and Cougars (Andre Ware pun not intended). Any white-flight suburb worth a damn is chock full o’ hotties down in ATL.
As for EA, meh, she’s peaked in my book, I’m not going to try to claim she isn’t hot, but Im sure if they tried they could easily get a hotter broad on my TV. She is a horrid interviewer too. Soon enough she’ll be marrying some poor schmuck Lawya in Atlanta and will start popping out babies like all the rest of em — her fame nothing but a memory her kid’s don’t quite believe.
December 11th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
35
Bobby Decatur says:
Paran>Paces at rush hour. Saves about 10.
December 11th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
36
Biggus Rickus says:
Maybe I’m confused about the meaning of “androgynous”, but would it not be used to describe a person possessing masculine and feminine traits, making their sex difficult to discern? How exactly does this apply to Erin Andrews (whose progeny will be dubbed androgeny by me from now on)?
December 11th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
37
Bobby Decatur says:
Good Gawd Almighty.
How about ‘avian’?
December 11th, 2007 at 1:04 pm
38
Sarah says:
Yeah but Paces backs up bad, and makes me hate my life because I will never be able to afford one of the huge pretty houses with the huge pretty yards.
The androgynous comment is what confused me too … and I certainly don’t think the women in ATL are at all masculine, if anything many of them are uber-feminine.
December 11th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
39
Biggus Rickus says:
Bobby,
I can get behind avian.
December 11th, 2007 at 1:07 pm
40
Brian says:
Ah Sarah, good to see you’ve already given up! More for me!
December 11th, 2007 at 1:07 pm
41
Will (the other one) says:
By 8 the rush hour crowd’s gone.
And is that a thing of spray Whipped-Cream in Erin’s hand?
December 11th, 2007 at 1:20 pm
42
Sarah says:
I find it amusing that a mention of Atlanta leads to traffic tips. Live ITP, it’s the only thing that keeps me from not killing someone in a fit of road rage.
December 11th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
43
Pants McPants says:
Will, actually that looks like caulk in her hand. MY caulk….
No, seriously, no pun intended I think that bitch was rooting around in my garage…
December 11th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
44
Eric says:
Gotta learn the shortcuts, Sarah! Slaton, Moores Mill, and Northside are your friends!
December 11th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
45
Holstein says:
FAIL
December 11th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
46
Sarah says:
Where’s Slaton? Worst thing ever though: I drive a stick shift – any traffic is brutal and makes me prone to throw things.
December 11th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
47
Edsall is God says:
I thoroughly enjoy the picture of her in the pink shirt. Her boobs look too big for her body, aka they’re fucking spectacular.
December 11th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
48
Touchdown74 says:
Pam Ward > Waterboarding
December 11th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
49
Will (the other one) says:
I never found the “too big for the body” look to be a good look for a gal. Usually because it gets paired with a near terminal case of Noassatall. And that’s just sad.
December 11th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
50
hailstate says:
LSU fans have a hand sign too. It only involves one finger though.
December 11th, 2007 at 2:06 pm