HEY, ERIN
Andre Ware: Hey. Erin.
Erin Andrews: Hey. What? Workin’ here.
Andre: ….
Erin: Seriously. Working here. Busy. Terribly. Make it quick.
Andre: …
Erin: What the hell, Andre? What? Just say it! I’ve got an interview in three minutes. Spit it the fuck out.
Andre: …
Erin: JUST FUCKING SAY SOMETHING DAMMIT! TALK, YOU FAILED-SYSTEM-QUARTERBACK TURNED-BROADCASTER!!!!
Andre: So…how ’bout it? Eh? You? Me? My little friend here.
Erin: …
Andre: Eh?
Erin: Not a soul, right?
Andre: Dick Cheney and a waterboard wouldn’t get it out of me, baby.
Erin: Seriously. Like not one fucking word. Even to Pam Ward, right?
Andre: Gitmo tight, baby. Less than silence.
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1
Rival says:
Andre looks like a skinny Sinbad.
Not the sea-faring one.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
2
Eirishis says:
NOT. FAIR.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
3
Sarah says:
Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew. Thank you for the worst image ever. Never gonna get this one out of my head.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
4
Allahver Fist says:
And her whites are even whiter.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
5
Aerobab says:
I don’t get it…if Andre has 5 fingers, why would he only offer Ms. Andrews 3 of them?
December 11th, 2007 at 12:08 pm
6
EufaulaPete says:
#5
That’s all she could take?
December 11th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
7
Orson Swindle says:
We’re sorry. You know it’s unfair when you’re laughing as you put it together.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
8
Mr. Wrong says:
I love picture stories.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
9
kleph says:
it’s posts like this that actually have me looking forward to the offseason.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
10
Warthen says:
#6, despite the lack of arm fat, I assure you that she went to UF.
Thus, she’ll take as many as you’ve got.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
11
Hook'em Tide says:
I sense a “shocker” joke coming.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
12
Port City Gangsta says:
#11 Nice to meet you “Didn’t get the joke the first time” guy
December 11th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
13
gerry dorsey says:
for what its worth that’s the hand sign for the uh cougs. as a non texan living in texas, it didn’t take me long to figure out that you’re not allowed to field a d1 football team in this fucking state without a hand sign.
the idea of andre offering up the shocker to andrews is obviously funnier though.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
14
Bobby Decatur says:
Do people honestly think she’s that hot? I’ve never seen it. She’s just a slightly taller version of the next 600,000 husky-voiced androgyous transplanted blondes dwelling between Vinings and Buckhead.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
15
Nick Saban says:
I don’t have time for this shit.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
16
Orson Swindle says:
Bobby–
No.
-O.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
17
Geaux Irish says:
Gotta love those U-H Cougars!
December 11th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
18
Marshawn Lynch's Injury Cart says:
A punisher. Excellent.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
19
The Last Dragon says:
I’d hit it. I don’t know if that qualifies her as “hot”. Just sayin……….
Nonetheless, this was funny as hell!! I was laughing out loud.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
20
PeteJayhawk says:
Yeah Gerry, what the fuck is up with those hand signs? Stupid fucking Texans.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
21
Signal to Noise says:
#14 – she’s damn cute for the sideline reporter field.
Erin’s gotta have higher standards than THAT. I don’t care if he won a Heisman or not.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
22
Sabanite says:
Erin,
This hurts worse than the loss to Pitt…
Love always,
s/ Pat White
December 11th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
23
PW says:
Bobby Decatur,
Not all of us get to live lives where we get to traipse around with hot naked supermodels all day like you do, OK?
December 11th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
24
Sarah says:
Bobby, excuse me … what? “600,000 husky-voiced androgyous transplanted blondes dwelling between Vinings and Buckhead”? I agree this describes Ms. Andrews, but 600,000? I feel like you’re insulting the women of Atlanta, but I’m not really sure.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:25 pm
25
Rich Brooks says:
I think this is bullshit.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
26
Billy in Baton Rouge says:
This was honestly so funny I couldn’t even laugh at it.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
27
Scalz1 says:
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
Yes.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
28
Kernel says:
Cougar High strikes again
December 11th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
29
TideDruid says:
Chill out guys, That is just a system orgasm. It won’t make it in the pro game.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
30
Rival says:
Jake Arute really doesn’t get a fair shake in the “cute sideline reporters” debate, in my opinion.
And I would move the Atlanta husky-voiced blonde region from “Vinings to Buckhead” to “Sandy Springs to Milton”. They all moved north once Buckhead became the hot spot for cruising the streets with your gangsta rap blaring.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
31
Bobby Decatur says:
Sarah, apologies if that hit close to home, but it’s 600k at the very least.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
32
Will (the other one) says:
It could be that Bobby only goes for the helium-voiced ladies. Now don’t get me wrong, a nice-colaltura soprano is nice, and a damn sight better than Kim Cattrall’s “I’m a man” voice, but the only thing I’d say is bad about Erin’s voice is the distinct nasal-strain of a midwest/upper-midwest accent.
That said, I’d totally hit it.
Even though as a Boston fan, I’m sure she’s holding out for Jacoby Ellsbury.
That said, we could never date. Dawgs and Gators living together?
And it’d be funnier if someone could photoshop a bow-tie with the Cincinnati bengals logo on it onto Mr. Andre “David Klingler had better #s than me” Ware.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
33
Will (the other one) says:
I’ll be driving from Buckhead thru Vinings this evening…I don’t think there are even 600,000 PEOPLE total in that area (granted, I’m taking Paces…one of the few spots ITP with lots above 1/1000th acre).
December 11th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
34
Brian says:
Nah, my buddy lived in Vinings, its stocked full of hot mommies and Cougars (Andre Ware pun not intended). Any white-flight suburb worth a damn is chock full o’ hotties down in ATL.
As for EA, meh, she’s peaked in my book, I’m not going to try to claim she isn’t hot, but Im sure if they tried they could easily get a hotter broad on my TV. She is a horrid interviewer too. Soon enough she’ll be marrying some poor schmuck Lawya in Atlanta and will start popping out babies like all the rest of em — her fame nothing but a memory her kid’s don’t quite believe.
December 11th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
35
Bobby Decatur says:
Paran>Paces at rush hour. Saves about 10.
December 11th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
36
Biggus Rickus says:
Maybe I’m confused about the meaning of “androgynous”, but would it not be used to describe a person possessing masculine and feminine traits, making their sex difficult to discern? How exactly does this apply to Erin Andrews (whose progeny will be dubbed androgeny by me from now on)?
December 11th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
37
Bobby Decatur says:
Good Gawd Almighty.
How about ‘avian’?
December 11th, 2007 at 1:04 pm
38
Sarah says:
Yeah but Paces backs up bad, and makes me hate my life because I will never be able to afford one of the huge pretty houses with the huge pretty yards.
The androgynous comment is what confused me too … and I certainly don’t think the women in ATL are at all masculine, if anything many of them are uber-feminine.
December 11th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
39
Biggus Rickus says:
Bobby,
I can get behind avian.
December 11th, 2007 at 1:07 pm
40
Brian says:
Ah Sarah, good to see you’ve already given up! More for me!
December 11th, 2007 at 1:07 pm
41
Will (the other one) says:
By 8 the rush hour crowd’s gone.
And is that a thing of spray Whipped-Cream in Erin’s hand?
December 11th, 2007 at 1:20 pm
42
Sarah says:
I find it amusing that a mention of Atlanta leads to traffic tips. Live ITP, it’s the only thing that keeps me from not killing someone in a fit of road rage.
December 11th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
43
Pants McPants says:
Will, actually that looks like caulk in her hand. MY caulk….
No, seriously, no pun intended I think that bitch was rooting around in my garage…
December 11th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
44
Eric says:
Gotta learn the shortcuts, Sarah! Slaton, Moores Mill, and Northside are your friends!
December 11th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
45
Holstein says:
FAIL
December 11th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
46
Sarah says:
Where’s Slaton? Worst thing ever though: I drive a stick shift – any traffic is brutal and makes me prone to throw things.
December 11th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
47
Edsall is God says:
I thoroughly enjoy the picture of her in the pink shirt. Her boobs look too big for her body, aka they’re fucking spectacular.
December 11th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
48
Touchdown74 says:
Pam Ward > Waterboarding
December 11th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
49
Will (the other one) says:
I never found the “too big for the body” look to be a good look for a gal. Usually because it gets paired with a near terminal case of Noassatall. And that’s just sad.
December 11th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
50
hailstate says:
LSU fans have a hand sign too. It only involves one finger though.
December 11th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
51
hunglikehussain says:
Do you think she is a member in “good standing” of the shaved cooter club?
December 11th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
52
Scalz1 says:
Too big for the body is also a precursor to bad posture, and people with bad posture die poor.
December 11th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
53
DC Trojan says:
Sarah @ 46: Having driven a manual through 4 years of college in LA and 10 years of traversing the Beltway – I laugh at Atlanta traffic.
I was in Lawrenceville for a meeting 18 months ago and the locals started hyperventilating at 4 about how we weren’t going to make it to the airport… it just wasn’t that bad, but maybe we were going against commuter traffic?
Will @ 49: I like a big-butt female myself, but there’s something to be said for being open-minded.
December 11th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
54
chairLegInEyeSocket says:
why wouldn’t she go for the hot Badger fans in the background of the pink shirt picture?
December 11th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
55
FEMTG says:
BEST POST EVER
December 11th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
56
The Last Dragon says:
Too big for the body leads to one night of a helluvalot fun for me. Future be damned! I’m not in it for the long haul.
December 11th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
57
oc phil says:
Erin Andrews seems to have more variation from picture to picture than most women. In some shots she looks amazingly hot, in others she seems just average looking. But even at her worst she is way out of the league of 99% of the guys on the internet who make comments about her.
And she actually does a good job at what she does so she deserves credit there too.
December 11th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
58
Will (the other one) says:
@DCTrojan: Open-minded is one thing, but after the say the 30th time she complains of a sore back (b/c big boobs+skinny frame-minus any sort of a visible ass=back problems) or you realize that she’s in her 20s and throwing her back out on a bi-yearly basis…you have to ask yourself: is the motorboating worth it?
@51 This club sounds interesting and I would like to subscribe to its newsletter. Or offer to moderate club meetings.
December 11th, 2007 at 2:43 pm
59
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Steffi Graf’s Cousin & Sarah Dept:
1. Ms. Andrews looks like a good-looking version of Steffi Graf. (Not trying to bash Ms. Graf, she has great legs, in addition to a great forehand, to say the least.)
2. Sarah (Comments #42, #44, others): Sarah: Very interesting blog. It is a nice change of pace from all things colleger-footballery. Natural blonde?
http://sarahcroberts.tumblr.com/
December 11th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
60
Bobby Decatur says:
Will,
I think you can download a membership application to that club you’re curious about here:
http://www.theblissclub.com
You’re welcome,
Bobby Decatur
December 11th, 2007 at 2:49 pm
61
DC Trojan says:
Will @ 58, I’d like to think it would be worth it. Besides, the back problems could be averted with yoga and pilates, which would lead to a strong and flexible Ms Andrews… the mind wanders a bit at this point. Well, the auxiliary mind does, anyway.
December 11th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
62
Sarah says:
Did you seriously ask if I was a natural blonde? And post my gay-ass blog? Geez.
December 11th, 2007 at 3:21 pm
63
Will (the other one) says:
@ Stacy Keibler Luvs Me, the “Eyebrow test” is your friend. Though if that was a pick-up line not even that Tommy Lee-looking-guy on VH1 can help you.
@DC Trojan. It is fun. But it’s a short-term thing. I think it’s a motivational issue. If you’re already hot, and have a great job, where’s your incentive to go to the gym or whip out the yoga mat 5x a week?
And as for the club, what % of women would you say qualify? My personal thoughts are the % declines once the sample size is ladies over 25. The Landing Strip is mad popular across the board though.
December 11th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
64
Sarah says:
Just as it’s not proper to ask a woman her age, it’s not proper to ask if someone is a natural blonde or redhead.
December 11th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
65
Harper says:
Erin looks like the typical one night stand and never call her again. Completely agree that she’s a dime a dozen in Vinings. She’s the type of chick that would walk up to you in Hole in the Wall and grab your ass and smile.
Personally, Im a fan of North-siide and Peachtree battle
December 11th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
66
hunglikehussain says:
#63
I think a “Hitler” is a strong second place IMO.
December 11th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
67
Sarah says:
Well if you’re looking for a one night stand, Hole in the Wall is certainly the best place to go. I’d like to say I’m too old for the white-trash triangle over there, but yeah … I may have been there this past weekend.
Erin is pretty fucking gorgeous, but with the talent in Atlanta, she is most certainly one of the many.
December 11th, 2007 at 3:45 pm
68
Eirishis says:
Sarah @ 64 – I will never ask if you are a natural blonde (or redhead, should that be your want), and will never post your blog to these here comments. I will also keep my Notre Dame fanhood very very quiet compared to your own interests.
How about w….wait, what was that, honey? Blatently flirting with someone, even via anonymous comments on the internet, makes one both rude towards her and unfaithful towards you? What the hell?
[/hit by frying pan]
December 11th, 2007 at 3:47 pm
69
DC Trojan says:
Will @ 63, I’m middle aged and have a tedious job, and that’s no motivation to go to the gym – because really, what’s the point? Extending my wage-slavery by a few years to help pay the Medicare bills for a nation of geriatric heffalumps?
As for shaved versus landing strip – as someone with 2 daughters under 6, I am NOT a fan of the Mons Baldy look. I like some indication that I am looking at an adult female – although obviously Ms Andrews is spec-rack-ular enough that shouldn’t be an issue.
#66, I can’t think of anything less titillating than describing residual tufts of pubic hair as a Hitler. Jesus.
December 11th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
70
The Conscience of a Nation says:
Sarah-
The kind of man who asks if you are a natural blonde or redhead has to ask, since no one’s ever actually shown him.
December 11th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
71
Will (the other one) says:
Yeah, I’ve heard it called the “Hitler” as well (even laughed at a scene in an Elmore Leonard novel where the guy saluted it in the shower before commencing to…well, you can imagine where that scene was going)…still not a fan of the euphemism though.
And while one of my fav lines in Entourage was Billy Walsh (as porn director) claiming he’s going to “Bring back the wide bush”…I floss already, and really don’t want to have to go digging
December 11th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
72
oc phil says:
perfect reply again from TCOAN.
My favorite thing on Sarah’s blog was the coffee ad, because I can’t decide if it is sexism or S&M.
I’ll stick to Duncan Hills cofee regardless.
December 11th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
73
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Sarah, Smile Dept.:
# 62, Sarah: Regarding the blonde question, I thought I would get an interesting or funny response, which I did—> no disrespect. And, since your comments were entertaining, I mosied on over to your blog, which was also pretty good, and thought you would not mind some extra traffic. During this college football hiatus period, it is necessary to find somethang else to be entertained….besides who is getting on or off the coaching carousel.
December 11th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
74
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Yes!!!!, 2 for 2 on the Blonde Question Dept:
I thought Sarah would provide an answer but did not expect another woman to chime in on the question.
Glad to get the funny response from TCOAN. Made me laugh a lot…even though this time TCOAN striked my way…..
December 11th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
75
DC Trojan says:
That last picture of Ms Andrews looks a bit like she’s broken into song… to the tune of something from Maria from West Side Story (ask wives / girlfriends re: Maria; my missus forced me to watch it…)
The shocker, Andre just gave me a shocker
and suddenly the game will never be the same to me
The shocker, Andre just gave me a shocker
and suddenly I’ve a new plan for Pat White and me
The shocker, do it hard when Georgia Tech is playing
Do it slow when Half-time Holtz is braying
The shocker, Andre never stop giving the shocker!
December 11th, 2007 at 4:45 pm
76
Sarah says:
Well it would take a lot more than that to offend me, but I will not be answering that question.
And thanks on the blog, it keeps me entertained, more of a place to stick random shit I find amusing and now that I’m done with finals, I can actually bother to update it. And that coffee ad is most certainly sexist, but also hilarious.
December 11th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
77
The Song of Hiawatha Francisco says:
@71 — That was “Mr. Paradise,” wasn’t it? Very high quality.
December 11th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
78
Nickel says:
Seriously, new rule, any loser who says Erin Andrews is not hot needs to post a picture of the woman they’re sleeping with.
We should all be so lucky.
December 11th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
79
hunglikehussain says:
Sarah, thanks for being a good sport on this thread.
Liked the rice project….
Now let me be recumbent on my fusty howdah.
Tops was 320 on 3 tries.
December 11th, 2007 at 6:53 pm
80
J.J. says:
Does anyone know wtf happened to the hottest sideline reporter of all time? Is Jill Arrington in the witness protection program, or did playing Deion Sander’s wife in those Nike commercials completely eliminate the possibilty of her returning to S.E.C. stadiums?
Erin Andrews is 190 pounds of slightly above average MILF.
December 11th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
81
sheepman says:
The posture thing is pretty much not going to be an issue if she spends as much time on her back as she obviously should.
December 11th, 2007 at 11:18 pm
82
Beergut says:
Sarah,
I may be in the extreme minority on this, but I like the jacket. If you’re going to wear a seasonally-inspired jacket, why not wear one that screams blinged out like a hot rod?
December 12th, 2007 at 4:44 am
83
gwzimm says:
She has nice chest bumps
December 12th, 2007 at 4:15 pm