YOUR OVERHEARD, SPECIOUS COACHING RUMOR OF THE DAY
From a source, and a good one, we present to you the specious, fact-esque coaching rumor of the day: Norm Chow was offered the UCLA coaching job on Saturday. No word on whether he’s taking it, though we think (if true) he’d be mad not to take it and finish out his coaching career as a head coach in the Pac-10 working in a milieu he’s familiar with and in a conference he’s succeeded in as a coordinator.
Oh, and he can call plays like an alchemist at his best. See:
Plus, he’d be the first Asian-American coach in college football, unless you count our recently departed barbarian Mongolian emperor Ed Orgeron. (We do, but only if he wants us to, of course. We’ll call him Shirley if he wants us to because we are still afraid.) This means this is a great investment on UCLA’s part for the long-term: if successful, they’re gonna have him around a long time, because Asians live forever, man.









1
NoleinTexas says:
A lesser man would say something about Chow not being able to correctly pronounce U-C-ER-A. Fortunately, such a man does not exist on this fine website.
December 10th, 2007 at 11:27 am
2
harleyman@charter.net says:
Nice – “Asians Live 4-ever!”
You mean to tell me that the Titan’s won’t have the best collegiate offense in Pro Football anymore? WOW!
December 10th, 2007 at 11:30 am
3
spartymike says:
It would represent the dominant ethnicity on campus. Majority rules, yo.
December 10th, 2007 at 11:32 am
4
Techie says:
But, he’s not black, so he’s not a minority hire. Sorry, UCLA.
December 10th, 2007 at 11:40 am
5
lance harbor says:
Because caucasians are too damn tall.
/Crazy People
December 10th, 2007 at 11:42 am
6
Geaux Irish says:
Threadjack:
Ron Mexico thinks 23 months is bullsh!t.
/threadjack
December 10th, 2007 at 11:44 am
7
Herb says:
I believe Navy beat them to the punch by hiring Ken Niumatalolo. Coach Niumatalolo and quarterback Kaipo-Noaha Keaka Enhada form a potent two-pronged attack on would be announcers. Obvious answer: Lou Holtz and Ed Orgeron team up in the broadcast booth. Hawaiians can’t be offended because they will mangle each word equally.
December 10th, 2007 at 11:45 am
8
Allahver Fist says:
Losing very bad for glass.
December 10th, 2007 at 11:55 am
9
Thor says:
More overrated:
Oklahoma in 04, or anOSU in 06?
December 10th, 2007 at 11:56 am
10
DC Trojan says:
Little known fact, that video was briefly used by the Anti-Vivisection League for fund-raising before they decided it was too graphic.
December 10th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
11
cjjags says:
So if you fire a black man and hire an Asian… are you still racist?
Or is the firing the overall racistismnessisity?
December 10th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
12
PTTO says:
I hope he takes the job and he takes it ASAP, I also hope that he declines to deems it a conflict of interest to coach in this years Rose Bowl, for the obvious selfish reasons.
December 10th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
13
Paragon SC says:
That would be awesome!
the full meltdown of BN and DD would be a sight to behold because many of them don’t support Chow being hired.
Rational SC fans would love it becuase the rivalry would mean something again and there would be some great football to watch.
win/win in my eyes!
December 10th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
14
Rival says:
#5
Awesome.
Norm Chow, being a short Asian, will be closer to all the small moving parts and components of his team, and therefore will be more efficient in crafting a winning game plan.
December 10th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
15
Rival says:
#12
Chow is currently the OC of the NFL’s Tennessee Titans, so his absence in the Rose Bowl is assured.
But your Illini is toast no matter who is coaching the Trojan’s offense.
December 10th, 2007 at 1:02 pm
16
gerry dorsey says:
what does the cca (chinamen’s coaches association) think of all this??
blah blah preferred nomenclature blah blah
December 10th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
17
PTTO says:
silly me. Is there anyway somebody somewhere could hire the trojans current OC. Pete Carrol too for good measure. maybe their strength and conditioning coach? i hear there is an opening at NIU, I’m sure they are willing to pay USC S&C money.
Toast or not. USC has had the benefit of inflated preseason poll position and has very little to hang its hat on in the way of quality wins. Im not saying the Illini will win, but I will submit that they have played the stronger schedule and have better wins.
December 10th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
18
Kate says:
The most awesome thing to come to the Bruins would be Chow AND Coach O. Two SC products coming back to LA, and for the Trojans’ most hated rival no less. Chow can quietly construct the most brilliant of plays, and Coach O can handle recruiting and screaming everyone half to death. It will be legendary. A+
#1: Of course, we’re not on Deadspin after all.
December 10th, 2007 at 1:33 pm
19
Jeff from LA says:
PTTO, seriously are you already talking trash about USC? Since when do fans of Big Ten teams, especially those not named tOSU get to talk trash?
Also, Chow is hardly a “short Asian.” Anyone that’s met him knows he’s at least 6′1′ 200 pounds or so. He’s a big guy since he’s part Hawaiian and everyone knows those polynesians are huge.
December 10th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
20
Jeff from LA says:
Also, I really hope UCLA has not offered Norm Chow. Chow is significantly better than any of USC’s current offensive geniuses. In fact, he trained the one we have now. I would not want the master to come back and humble Sarkisian and USC.
I’d much rather have Mike Leach come instead.
December 10th, 2007 at 1:38 pm
21
beckett929 says:
with Norm Chow being asian, does that mean when one of the players do something, my screen is going to have some funky moving colored background effect with just the player mid-move frozen, ala some crappy anime deal?
December 10th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
22
Dante says:
That’s exactly what’s going to happen, #21. You’ll also have to get used to UCLA’s media guide being one of those stupid right-to-left comic books.
December 10th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
23
Rival says:
#19
Go rent this movie:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099316/
December 10th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
24
Kate says:
#23 Or one could just watch this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQa4HHkhwVg
December 10th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
25
Rival says:
Nice, Kate!
—————————————————————————–
I want to go to the toilet!
I’m fat. Can I have my free plant? (Remember: you don’t have to admit that you’re ugly.)
Volvo: They’re boxy, but they’re good.
Jaguar: For men who want hand jobs from women they hardly know.
Come in Jamaica!
—————————————————————————-
I need to go get that movie…
December 10th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
26
Allahver Fist says:
My God, y’all summoned 1990 comedy. What could be next?
December 10th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
27
NativeSon says:
So what will we be screaming next season after a Top 5 team gets torpedoed by the new and improved Norm-led Bruins??
That’s right…
CHOW!!
I’m giggling like a schoolgirl with anticipation.
December 10th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
28
lance harbor says:
@ Rival and Kate:
17 years later, I still celebrate this joke on a monthly basis.
Kathy: Who here wants to be an advertising executive?
[several hands go up]
Emory Leeson: Who here wants to be a fire truck?
[everyone raises their hands, with several standing and commenting things like "Ooh, I do!" and "Me! Pick me!"]
December 10th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
29
Brawndo says:
Watching that you tube video embedded in the post makes me think that if you change some names and swap out the red for some orange, that very well could end up being the highlights to the 2008 Rose Bowl…
I can’t remember… Did [Name Redacted] ever whack two teams in one year that he had no business beating while at Florida?
December 10th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
30
Paul says:
How fitting. There’s a reason why UCLA stands for University of Caucasians Lost Amongst Asians.
December 10th, 2007 at 8:29 pm
31
oc phil says:
Oh man, I just checked out the loons at Bruins Nation are they are in a full lather about Chow. Hilarious
The comedy from those bozo’s is not going to let up anytime soon. They are no going to lose any momentum and are going to be tearing into the new coach with as much ferocity as they went after Dorrell in no time. Unless they get a “fantasy” hire, in which case they will wait until he loses a game.
December 11th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
32
Jack says:
I don’t understand how a true Trojan fan can make fun of an offensive coaching genius that helped get ‘SC to where we’re at today. Just because he (might) head over to UCLA doesn’t lessen his accomplishments he achieved over here at ‘SC. Leave the racial jokes to the high schoolers and show some class.
December 12th, 2007 at 12:03 am
33
usc fan says:
A lot of USC fans are petrified if Norm Chow was hired. A lot of us know that NOrm was the reason that USC came back, and when he left, USC slowly went into decline.
A UCLA HC to Norm Chow would be a nightmare scenario. A lot of UCLA fans are pretty excited about this.
December 12th, 2007 at 3:54 am