Still headless. Please, do not panic. He got divorced after thirty years of marriage. Took off a few pounds in a fit of gym visits and hasty low-carb controlled starvation. Back in the saddle, as it were.

And yet…the clothes. He’s wearing a collarless shirt. He’s considering growing a ponytail. He’s a bit too aggressive with the shirt tucking. In fact, it sometimes appears he’s trying to fold his upper body into his pants one frantic tuck at a time. And he bought a sports car to show he’s, you know, still virile and all that, right down to the emergency Viagra he keeps in his pocket and the spoiler package he had put on the thing.

He’s no good at it. He’s dated two women in the past forty years. And frankly, he doesn’t do this often, and doesn’t care to, not even needing much in the looks department, favoring devotion over quality.

The sum of this: Michigan still doesn’t have a coach, and could hire anyone from Brady Hoke to Mike Debord as their new head guy. A commenter asked why the Alabama job search got so much publicity and criticism last year, while Michigan’s getting the soft pedaling here. The short answer is because no one like watching stunted and awkward, while everyone likes watching agitated and desperate.

South Carolina defensive end Jordin Lindsey is recovering after being stabbed in the neck with a beer bottle during an altercation in the wee hours of Saturday morning in the Five Points district of Columbia, South Carolina. We don’t spend a lot of time in South Carolina, having no interest in peaches or cockfighting (well known that our preference is for bear-baiting, people,) but football players seemed to get stabbed, fought with, or shot at there than in most places.

Lindsay, btw, will be totally fine, despite losing massive amounts of blood through the four-inch gash in his neck.

Ohio State has 51 days between their last game and the national championship game, while LSU only has 37, meaning that when one team wins, the other will claim they had not enough/too much time to prepare/get out of shape/out of rhythm for the game.

Mike Price, former Washington State Coach, will not be returning to Pullman. Price was a prime candidate for the job he vacated to take the Alabama head coaching job before SI published a Mike Yaeger fanfic erotica piece about a fictional encounter involving Price, a stripper, and the phrase “It’s rolling, baby!” As in, 20 million dollars for defamation rollin’, baby!

Price, according to the Post-Intelligencer, will only be coming back to Pullman for retirement.

Price, the only coach to guide WSU to two Rose Bowls, confirmed Sunday he has withdrawn his name as a candidate for the Cougars’ head coaching job.

“I’ve got my place on Lake Coeur d’Alene,” Price said by phone from El Paso, Texas. “I’m going to support the Cougars and get season tickets and be contributing to the Cougar Club and be up there second-guessing the coach.”

One of the leading candidates for the WSU job makes our heart sing with joy.

Awwwwww. East Carolina fans unable to make it to the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl are donating their tickets to military personnel stuck in the islands for the holidays.