STEP RIGHT UP AND MONGER THOSE RUMORS.

By the pricking of my thumbs, something old, white, and overpaid this way comes. Who’s hanging out by the punchbowl with the ADs what brung them, and who’s promenading with the prettiest mid-major DCs in the barn? A brief review of the latest coaching squaredance:
–Johnson to Georgia Tech, confirmed by Navy to no one’s surprise this morning.
– Gundy, extended, until he’ll be able to screech about being forty-six to a room full of beat reporters.
–Miles, extended, with this giggle-worthy lede: ” … apparently ending speculation that he might leave for a job at Michigan.” Oh, dear.
–Michigan, snubbed by Schiano. What’s the coaching search equivalent of taking your cousin to the dance? “You don’t know my boyfriend, hegoestoanotherschool.”
–Arkansas can’t close it with Grobe. While cousin-mackery may be more accepted in their neck of the woods, it’s still no way to run a football program.
–You’re doing a heckuva job, Satan’s handmaiden. *muffled snickering*
We’re barely scratching the surface here, and we’ve got 48 hours before you’re back in the swarthy embrace of Swindle, Bean, and EDSBS Live. Let’s dish. If at least one of you isn’t staked out at a regional airport with a 2-way radio, I’ll be grievously disappointed.









51
WhiteSpeedReceiver says:
How long until more of the national idiots start tossing Glen Mason’s name around as a possible candidate for all these jobs?
December 8th, 2007 at 10:12 am
52
Brandon Cox's Sandy Vagina says:
Nobody wants to live in Fayettenam, remember the bball coach that agreed to be the new HC, then he went to campus, turned around and begged for his old job back? Kinda like what Jim Grobe did? Arkansas has to be a better job than Wake, there are only so many rabbits to be pulled out of hats at a school that small. Grobe deserves a good job.
December 8th, 2007 at 10:25 am
53
R.D. Baker - Retired Blogger says:
the Orgeron as Tech’s DC…
Why do I have the feeling the Orgeron would get into a fight with Leach on the sideline a-la Buddy Ryan v. Kevin Gilbride
December 8th, 2007 at 10:27 am
54
Thor says:
Funny how Saban running off a bunch of players and starting true freshman will “increase depth”
The delusion is in the water at alabama, don’t drink it.
December 8th, 2007 at 10:28 am
55
Mr Pelican Pants says:
#54
There are a bunch of players coming off redshirts,plus the true freshmen coming in that could start at any BCS school in the country should help light a fire to the so called “starters” left over from last year who shouldnt play for any WAC team, much less an SEC team.
Hell at least we have a coach, there are 2 big name schools that nobody wants to coach at, in a better position than Alabama was last year, but yet cant land a decent coach…..Pretty bad when Rutgers turns you down…..I hear Lou Holtz is still availible…please hire him to get him off TV
December 8th, 2007 at 10:53 am
56
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Thor,
Delusional doesnt even begin to describe my delusion…….
December 8th, 2007 at 10:57 am
57
jake steely says:
I quit drinking a year ago and seriously, the withdrawls of no college football is worse than alcohol. Guess the old lady is gonna get that trip to home depot shes been dying for this weekend. And who knows, maybe bed bath and beyond, but I dont know, dont know if I’m gonna have enough time.
December 8th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
58
bitterhorn says:
Gawd, we’re a pathetic lot without a boardful of foobaw games on tv, ain’t we?
#50 Blue
That’s pretty much the consensus on Brian’s blog, man why can’t Lloyd retire in dignity and go away instead of hanging around Ann Arbor? It’s painful to watch, I tells ya.
Still kinda funny, tho… heh… I can’t talk my school was pursuing Barnett before they hired Mack. Imagine the sucktitude.
December 8th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
59
R.D. Baker - Retired Blogger says:
Please… an intramural game, brotha…. anything….
December 8th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
60
bitterhorn says:
I can’t believe it’s pushing 3pm eastern and Orson has started the Unlimited Tim Tebow Mancrush Thread yet.
Did he fall get paralyzed in some bizarre drunken rodeo stunt at the Dude Ranch?
December 8th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
61
jake steely says:
At least I got my local high school section championship thats being televised to look forward to.
December 8th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
62
Beergut says:
I’m watching Navarra JC play Georgia Military College in the Pilgrim’s Pride Bowl on Fox Sports SW.
At 3 pm, Delaware vs. Southern Illinois in the I-AA playoffs is on.
It’s Football, and All Football is Good.
December 8th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
63
bitterhorn says:
My current viewing options are NCAA hoops – Duke giving it to Michigan (yes, it CAN get worse) and KU putting a beat down on Depaul. Maybe I can get them to change one of the screens to FSSW (thanks beergut).
Hmm, maybe I should just drink the hoops koolaid and go see the horns play Rice tonight.
December 8th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
64
beckett929 says:
#52 –
Ask yourself this, where is there less pressure with a greater chance to suceed? – a) at a ridiculous school where parents call and complain about playing time, headed by a bunch of boosters that ran off the only successful coach theyve had in recent memory, playing a retardedly difficult schedule…..
Or in the ACC where its clearly only 3 teams give a damn, you have no pressure to win, and like Rutgers, every time you accomplish something somewhat significant, its the first time in school history….
**If more than BC, VT, and FSU care, they sure as fuck dont show it**
December 8th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
65
jake steely says:
#64
I think you can add to the “teams that care” list Clemson and Virginia. Granted we all know the ACC is hurting, but at least at the top of the conference they have a few solid programs with some “hope” at least for the future.
December 8th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
66
D. Williams says:
Isn’t it obvious? No one wants to coach Michigan because they want NOTHING to do with Marques Slocum’s fuck lion
December 8th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
67
Wreckage says:
#64 — GT just fired a coach without any losing seasons and paid $2.3M/year to hire a new one.
How does that imply apathy?
December 8th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
68
gosouthgohard says:
65 and 64:
There was some ACC school a few days ago who fired their head coach for consistently making 7-5 seasons… ring any bells?
And if FSU really cared about winning, the head coach would be named Jimbo Fisher. Not five years or whatever down the road, but right now.
December 8th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
69
jake steely says:
As far as FSU goes, its foolish to think Bowden at this point is anything but a “figurehead” coach.
December 8th, 2007 at 5:46 pm
70
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Has Tebow won the He15man yet?
December 8th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
71
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Seriously, will he win it all,. as a Sophmore…..can he go pro yet?
December 8th, 2007 at 5:51 pm
72
The Bull-Gator says:
# 62 – Beergut
I almost went to Georgia Military. Until they told me I was .02 of a grade point short of qualifying for a full ride. they gave me this gem of a line:
“The army rounds for no man.”
After seeing the dumpy-ass campus, I choose to go to USF rather than pay to be in hell.
December 8th, 2007 at 6:23 pm
73
Mr Pelican Pants says:
This just in……Jimbo Fisher, in an unprecedented move, has decided to retire from coaching….he got tired of waiting on Bobby Bowden
December 8th, 2007 at 6:28 pm
74
RC says:
Can somebody tell me what happened to Stranko Montana? Was all that Friday bunda actually a gift from heaven?
December 8th, 2007 at 7:19 pm
75
Will (the Atlanta one) says:
I grew slightly pissed in watching ESPN Classic Today, as SC’s D, sans Brinkley, is apparently good at providing “defining game” moments for both Tebow and DMac.
Oh if only Brinkley had been out their 2nd game…
December 8th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
76
bitterhorn says:
Houston Nutt and his Bag Of Weasels on the Heisman Show! Now THAT’S entertainment.
December 8th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
77
Will (the Atlanta one) says:
For those keeping score at home, Florida QBs are now 1-2 against UGA in their Heisman-winning seasons.
December 8th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
78
KT says:
…and I’d like to thank Orson Swindle, Publix, Senator Craig, the Easter Bunny, Comrade Stalin, Yoko Ono, the good folks at Lake City Cheverolet….blah, blah, blah…
Tim Tebow
2007 Heisman Trophy Winner
December 8th, 2007 at 9:17 pm
79
Kate says:
It’s sort of giggle-inducing that this mythical football beast can completely tear up and thank his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ about 35 times and say “I love you” to his coach on national television. He’s really just a nice, goofy boy who found himself miraculously put in a terrifyingly perfect body. It’s hard to hate a guy like that, because bad-mouthing him just makes you seem soulless, it’ll always be a losing game.
December 8th, 2007 at 9:53 pm
80
AZDuck says:
@76:
Disagree. Its incredibly easy to hate Tebow. My sweet bride and I sat in our Honolulu apartment (I’m a Duck fan, obviously, but we live in Hawaii) and watched the cutesy little personal profiles they did on each of the Heisman candidates.
After watching all four, I liked Brennan best, McFadden next best, Daniel struck me as kinda doofusy but likeable, and Tim Tebow was a reasonable facsimile of a human being. While you have to admit that Tebow represents massive advancement in robotics and artificial intelligence, you’d think his programmers could have come up with more than thank God for everything, and oh, yeah, that shot of him thumbing through his Bible while sitting in the stands at the Swamp made me want God to strike down both him and his programmers, post-haste.
What a fucking douchebag. I used to dislike Florida the least of all the SEC schools. I will hate them with the passion I normally reserve for the University of Washington and Oregon State now.
December 8th, 2007 at 10:08 pm
81
bitterhorn says:
That seemed pretty staged. Is he running for office or something? All the thugs at UF, this ‘more holy than thou’ spiel comes off like that purple syrup at IHOP.
December 8th, 2007 at 10:22 pm
82
SuperJew says:
I’ll lean more with Kate than with AZDuck. He just seems like a big goofy kid who loves Jesus. A lot.
What’s wrong with that?
December 8th, 2007 at 10:23 pm
83
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Well, whats a guy to do who has won a MNC, the Heisman, all in 2 seasons? I know!! Declare himself eligible for the NFL draft and go to the Patriots, thats what!!! Baby Rhino….it is time to ascend to the mothership and go back to where you belong…He is probaly a Scientologist to top it off….quirky religion, but wildly successful while they are on the earth….see Alums Tom Cruise and John Travolta…
Well, Florida, you are cursed next year if you go to the MNC, no matter what…..
December 8th, 2007 at 10:24 pm
84
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Well…..Orson….congrats on your marriage to Tebow…hope you guys are happy…..I heard Verne did the honors
December 8th, 2007 at 10:28 pm
85
Mr Pelican Pants says:
One more thing……can Holly have her rack bronzed in honor of Tim Tebow winning the He15man?? If I am correct, he is still leasing them, no?
I think if them 4 guys would have to went head to head in some bizarre MMA match, I still think Tebow walks out of there with the trophy….He would have killed Colt, hurt Chase, and eventually pounded Dmac into submission or threw him out of the ring….
December 8th, 2007 at 10:31 pm
86
DC Trojan says:
# 77 – Ted Bundy was a Husky.
December 8th, 2007 at 10:42 pm
87
sjs1959 says:
And he wasn’t even the best player in the SEC, much less the nation.
No one tops Humanity Advanced.
December 8th, 2007 at 10:50 pm
88
bevo says:
Please, please do not post Greg Davis unless it is fact. I cannot take it.
I went to my boss Friday, said I was a candidate for the Arkansas job, and got a 30 cent hour raise. Thank you, Jeff Long.
December 8th, 2007 at 10:56 pm
89
Skip says:
Has Tebow ever had sex? For some reason I think of him as some kind of Stephen Dedalus type who has vivid images of hellfire and brimstone every time he masturbates. Either that or this whole Jesus thing is a sham and he has all the fun someone in his position should be having.
December 8th, 2007 at 11:06 pm
90
John says:
I love Tim Tebow for the same reason I love Peyton Manning. They’re sweet, goofy southern guys who will destroy you on the field.
December 8th, 2007 at 11:07 pm
91
bitterhorn says:
Is Beano Cook still giving Ron Powlus trophies? Inquiring minds want to know.
December 8th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
92
PW says:
74
I wanted to come back with a smart ass…well…comeback for that one, but it was actually pretty good. Well played, my friend.
December 8th, 2007 at 11:29 pm
93
Bama(Love Me or Hate me Idon't Care) says:
Yak – Send me her e-mail address and you will never have to worry about her again
December 8th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
94
Tim says:
Hating Tim Tebow is like hating Bob Ross. I bet wild baby deer come up to him with no fear at all.
December 9th, 2007 at 12:34 am
95
Tim says:
I take that back. Hardcore Christians can get on your nerves, and Bob Ross was so even-keeled that he completely lacked that intensity.
This will make zero sense with descending comments until you read the next one. Oh well.
December 9th, 2007 at 12:36 am
96
The Humanitarian says:
I just like to thank my lord and savior jesus christ for allowing me to post this comment.
December 9th, 2007 at 12:57 am
97
Beergut says:
Just love that TEE-BOW!!!
**left fist to right forearm on TEE, left fist to right elbow on BOW**
December 9th, 2007 at 1:03 am
98
Holly says:
can Holly have her rack bronzed in honor of Tim Tebow winning the He15man??
Way ahead of you there, big guy.
December 9th, 2007 at 2:16 am
99
gatorfromjax says:
Ahh, it is always entertaining to witness the intellectual hypocrisy of political correctness. One dare not offend the gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender/gender-confused lobby, or risk the wrath of this site’s admins with a thousand spits in the face to you, sir! But despicable hatred toward a young man for the crime of his religious beliefs (#80), and nary a peep.
December 9th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
100
AZDuck says:
Peep this Gator fan:
I’ve got no issue with Tebow being a religious fanatic (its his right, after all). But I don’t have to like him for it.
Get over yourself. Your three-loss automaton won the hardware. That means he’s gonna suck now.
And I’m going to enjoy that.
December 9th, 2007 at 4:19 pm