STEP RIGHT UP AND MONGER THOSE RUMORS.

By the pricking of my thumbs, something old, white, and overpaid this way comes. Who’s hanging out by the punchbowl with the ADs what brung them, and who’s promenading with the prettiest mid-major DCs in the barn? A brief review of the latest coaching squaredance:
–Johnson to Georgia Tech, confirmed by Navy to no one’s surprise this morning.
– Gundy, extended, until he’ll be able to screech about being forty-six to a room full of beat reporters.
–Miles, extended, with this giggle-worthy lede: ” … apparently ending speculation that he might leave for a job at Michigan.” Oh, dear.
–Michigan, snubbed by Schiano. What’s the coaching search equivalent of taking your cousin to the dance? “You don’t know my boyfriend, hegoestoanotherschool.”
–Arkansas can’t close it with Grobe. While cousin-mackery may be more accepted in their neck of the woods, it’s still no way to run a football program.
–You’re doing a heckuva job, Satan’s handmaiden. *muffled snickering*
We’re barely scratching the surface here, and we’ve got 48 hours before you’re back in the swarthy embrace of Swindle, Bean, and EDSBS Live. Let’s dish. If at least one of you isn’t staked out at a regional airport with a 2-way radio, I’ll be grievously disappointed.









1
jebus says:
Thank you.
December 7th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
2
Holly says:
Don’t mention it. (Seriously, don’t.)
December 7th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
3
Vairish84 says:
When you think about it, you could really do your favorite BCS coach a real favor here. Put them on the tilt-a-whirl and watch their salary rise.
We must have a favorite EDSBS coach who could use a raise.
Rich Brooks to Michigan anyone?
December 7th, 2007 at 6:04 pm
4
beast in 'bama says:
What has become of Tedford? Has Cal locked him up, or has his mediocre finish this season put him in the *tepid* category? He seemed such a hot prospect three weeks ago…
Good writing this week Holly, jebus, and PB – particularly you, Holly. And wonderful graphics, PB. But jebus, I’m afraid your graphics selections the last two days have required quantities of eye bleach that greatly exceeded what I have in stock.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:04 pm
5
Holly says:
I don’t care what kind of money it takes, but I should have mentioned this in the post (maybe a drunken update tonight is in order)….please football Jesus, please please PLEASE bring Mike Leach to the SEC, world without end, amen.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:08 pm
6
yak says:
I tried the whole “I’m a man. I’m 26″ arguement with my g/f the other day. All I wanted was to not go to her relatives lame x-mas party. She responed with the “This ain’t intramurals,brotha. This is Holiday Season”. Followed shortly thereafter by cussing and bringing up my drinking habits (or problem, whichever side you choose to be on). I hadn’t realized she paid attention to the WWL when its on. I cried and died a little bit all at once.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
7
bitterhorn says:
Mike Leach to UCLA!!! ARRRRR!!!11
Pointing and laughing at the Michigan faithful is kinda fun.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
8
Holly says:
She responed with the “This ain’t intramurals,brotha.”
Keeper. Seriously.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
9
Holly says:
Or Mike Leach to UCLA. I could live with that too, as long as he was in close proximity to either my person or my home conference.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
10
yak says:
Maybe Leach wouldn’t have lost to ND. Well maybe he would have, but he would put up more than 6. I’m just sayin.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:18 pm
11
yak says:
Holly,
From a woman’s perspective, I obviously have to go now right?
December 7th, 2007 at 6:21 pm
12
TIGERinATL says:
Holly, if the open SEC job were in the Eastern Division, you would not want him in our conference. The SEC may never produce another undefeated team again as it is. Another top-notch coach and a SEC champ with less than two losses would also be a pipe dream.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:25 pm
13
Holly says:
That was such a good comeback that yes, you’re stuck.
On the bright side, she’s clearly not stupid. Unfortunately…she’s not stupid.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
14
Holly says:
See, I feel like the SEC is Leach’s spiritual home….but oh, seeing Bruins Nation tangle with him would be magical. I’m torn.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:29 pm
15
bitterhorn says:
Any woman that drops a “this ain’t innermurals, brotha” on you is a stone cold keeper, that is just awesome. Buy her diamonds.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:31 pm
16
TIGERinATL says:
And from the obligatory-shot-at-bama dept.:
Add me to the “muffled snickering” group. That may be the first time I’ve seen a school official evoke the “not his players” excuse. Fans all over the place use it all the time, but (true or not) ADs and Presidents don’t usually throw the last coach or their CURRENT student athletes under the bus. Once again, the capstone blazes a new trail.
I know it seems like I don’t post without taking a shot at Bama, but they just make it too easy.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
17
Beergut says:
Holly,
Is there that little entertainment to be found in California?
Or are you a Vince Gil fan?
December 7th, 2007 at 6:34 pm
18
R.D. Baker - Retired Blogger says:
Source on Leach to UCLA?
December 7th, 2007 at 6:34 pm
19
bitterhorn says:
Sources, shmources. I thought this was the Wild Speculation© thread?
December 7th, 2007 at 6:37 pm
20
yak says:
Damn it. I was afraid of that. And I have bought her plenty of diamonds. The kids of Zales workers owe me a present this year with the money I have dropped there the last couple years. Like that line in Jerry McGwire, “She had me at intramurals, brotha”.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
21
Holly says:
RD, it’s still rumor far as I know, but the L.A. Times says he’s a candidate, so take that however you want.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:43 pm
22
notthequarterback says:
Ahhh but you haven’t gone to Jared then. From what the tee-vee tells me, if you go to Jared, everyone around you will go apeshit to accommodate you. And the tee-vee never lies to me.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:44 pm
23
kleph says:
the south louisiana equivalent would be when she brings a rice cooker to your house. plighting your troth is an inevitability past that point.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:47 pm
24
bitterhorn says:
Leach roller blades down 87 (or whatever the main drag is) in Labuttocks; how does that NOT scream West Coast?
Mike Leach with The Orgeron as his DC – awesome never dies.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:48 pm
25
yak says:
You mean Subway? We get it occasionally. But I heard Jared put all the weight back on. Lolz
December 7th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
26
Mr Pelican Pants says:
What will be fun for taking shots at Bama, will be the mass exodus of players transferring to other schools after the season is done….kinda what happened at Arkansas last year when the coach doesnt want you to be there……plus Saban starting true freshman over lettermen next year should be a given…I would say after Spring drills we should see at least a few former starters and “role players” defecting to other schools like South Florida or rival schools….if all the recruits coming in can qualify, we should see an increase in depth almost instantly……anybody need a QB?
December 7th, 2007 at 6:54 pm
27
R.D. Baker - Retired Blogger says:
Just wondering, because the every other article I’ve seen about Leach to UCLA looks something like this:
http://www.ocregister.com/sports/coach-search-leach-1936265-bowl-walker
or this:
http://www2.presstelegram.com/moresports/ci_7646248
December 7th, 2007 at 7:00 pm
28
Holly says:
Ssssh. Let us have our dreams.
December 7th, 2007 at 7:08 pm
29
UTEx says:
Arkansas having trouble finding a coach…Is it a surprise to anyone that coaches don’t want to actually live in the state of Arkansas?
December 7th, 2007 at 7:13 pm
30
CLTDawg says:
Yak –
Marry that woman tomorrow. Any chick that would know to say that is a keeper worthy of an immediate hitching.
December 7th, 2007 at 7:19 pm
31
Beergut says:
#29,
I think they’re afraid of having to wear a hoghat at a press conference.
December 7th, 2007 at 7:36 pm
32
Beergut says:
For some rumors:
texas OC Greg Davis to Arkansas.
Florida co-DC Charlie Strong to SMU
Oklahoma co-OC Kevin Sumlin to Houston
December 7th, 2007 at 7:39 pm
33
Raider Red says:
That’s ~ $ 2 mill in Lubbock. UCLA would have to pay $4-5 million for the cost of living to balance out.
And UCLA won’t have 10 starters coming back on offense. Yarr. Leach isn’t going anywhere.
P.S. We could use a new DC…Orgeron, anyone?
P.P.S. Uh, Leach HAS been in the SEC before. That is, unless Kentucky was in some other southeastern conference in the late 90s.
December 7th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
34
yak says:
Im thinking I should wait until the Michigan coaching search plays out. If I get subjected to Debord/Hoke/English 12 saturdays a year, I may as well give her half my stuff now. I know myself well enough to know it wouldn’t be pretty.
December 7th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
35
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Yak,
If ya do get hitched, make sure there is a buyout clause in the contract…..make it at least $3.5 thousand dollars
December 7th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
36
Holly says:
Greg Davis to Arkansas would be nice, in terms of adding another cupcake game to the in-conference schedule.
December 7th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
37
yak says:
Aaaaand, I don’t want to have to explain to my grandmother why I’m not marrying a “nice Lithuanian girl”. That, and my new tattoo, which states ” My 3> belongs to that which belongs to Mr. Tebow”. LOL
December 7th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
38
bitterhorn says:
Dear Lord, please let Greg Davis be hired by some poor unsuspecting sucker AD so we can be rid of him.
December 7th, 2007 at 8:16 pm
39
yak says:
<3 that is
December 7th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
40
Holly says:
Bitterhorn, any rumblings about Texas cutting Davis loose, or are y’all staying the course?
December 7th, 2007 at 8:37 pm
41
bitterhorn says:
#40
There’s some chatter about Gus Malzahn replacing him on BON, but it’s totally unsubstantiated. Like everything else out there right now.
I’d give a kidney to have The Orgeron as DC, though. Seeing how my liver’s shot…
December 7th, 2007 at 9:10 pm
42
bitterhorn says:
Jeez, the ags are spending 4.4 MEEEELlion dollars to buy out Wiley E. Franchione (HT: TWWL). I could coach that high school offense just as well, where’s my payday?! I’m sending a resume to Ann Arbor, dammit.
December 7th, 2007 at 9:15 pm
43
marcillac says:
Greg Davis to Michigan
Tetford fired – to Texas as OC
Desperate Hogs buy Fulmer with Walmart $$$$$
Pirate to Tennessee
December 7th, 2007 at 9:21 pm
44
yak says:
We would take him, Bette Davis, Miles Davis, Louie Armstrong, Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Buzz Lightyear, Gordon Lightfoot, Chef Gordon Ramsay, Jon Benet Ramsey (too soon?), Eric Benet, Halle Berry, Berry Gordy, Jordy Nelson, Half Nelson, Craig T. Nelson, Mr. T., T-Boz , Boz Scaggs, Brian “Bos” Bosworth, which leads to candidate 1A…Brian Cook. phew
December 7th, 2007 at 9:42 pm
45
Blue says:
Someone care to explain why Meechigan is not even talking to Brian Kelly at Cincy?
December 7th, 2007 at 9:44 pm
46
bitterhorn says:
@45
Ummm, because of Bill Martin?
December 7th, 2007 at 9:57 pm
47
PortTrojan says:
Blue #45,
One of the Free Press columnists mentioned that Kelly has rubbed people the wrong way during his coaching ascension and that there are people in the UM Athletic Department that don’t like him. I read that last Sunday in Rosenberg’s, Sharp’s or Albom’s column.
December 7th, 2007 at 11:14 pm
48
John says:
Here are my dream coaches:
Arkansas: Ed Orgeron (Anything to allow Orson to blog about him for another season.)
Michigan: Brian Kelly
Navy: Turner Gill
UCLA: Mike Leach
Texas Tech: (To fill Leach’s spot) Hal Mumme
December 8th, 2007 at 12:47 am
49
Futbawl Fan says:
man, saturday without football…makes my coffee taste funny
guess I’ll go sprinkle some nutra-sweet on pro-ball and watch that
wait…. I have my dvr of insignificant games from this season!!!
December 8th, 2007 at 8:45 am
50
Blue says:
46 & 47,
I think one person that Kelly has rubbed the wrong way is the person who is acting as the “behind the scenes consultant” to Martin in this coaching search….Lloyd Carr.
Another example of how Meechigan is doing this on the cheap…instead of forking over mad jack to Neinas and do it right, they’ll listen to the man who couldn’t beat App. State.
Nice…this is a train-wreck in progress. Who needs games when you can watch this?
December 8th, 2007 at 9:26 am