STEP RIGHT UP AND MONGER THOSE RUMORS.
By the pricking of my thumbs, something old, white, and overpaid this way comes. Who’s hanging out by the punchbowl with the ADs what brung them, and who’s promenading with the prettiest mid-major DCs in the barn? A brief review of the latest coaching squaredance:
–Johnson to Georgia Tech, confirmed by Navy to no one’s surprise this morning.
– Gundy, extended, until he’ll be able to screech about being forty-six to a room full of beat reporters.
–Miles, extended, with this giggle-worthy lede: ” … apparently ending speculation that he might leave for a job at Michigan.” Oh, dear.
–Michigan, snubbed by Schiano. What’s the coaching search equivalent of taking your cousin to the dance? “You don’t know my boyfriend, hegoestoanotherschool.”
–Arkansas can’t close it with Grobe. While cousin-mackery may be more accepted in their neck of the woods, it’s still no way to run a football program.
–You’re doing a heckuva job, Satan’s handmaiden. *muffled snickering*
We’re barely scratching the surface here, and we’ve got 48 hours before you’re back in the swarthy embrace of Swindle, Bean, and EDSBS Live. Let’s dish. If at least one of you isn’t staked out at a regional airport with a 2-way radio, I’ll be grievously disappointed.
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101
Kate says:
#100: Ugh, calm down. You don’t have to like Tebow for his religious beliefs, but you don’t have to dislike him and call him a “fucking douchebag” because of it either. Its sort of bewildering why you’re being so antagonistic.
By the way, did you “enjoy” Bellotti deciding to let Dixon play on a hurt knee, leading to the Ducks losing their chance to go to the Superdome? Because if Dixon were a healthy QB for a MNC team, he might have won the “hardware” last night intead of the “automaton”, and then surely he would’ve “sucked” afterwards. You must have been so relieved when the Ducks ended up going to pot, what with that shutout vs. the mighty UCLA and all?
December 9th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
102
AZDuck says:
See, Kate, this is why you’re not smart.
Bellotti’s decision, or lack thereof, regarding Dixon’s injury had nothing, I repeat, NOTHING to do with the team not going to a better bowl game. Dixon was hurt against ASU. The ACL was torn then. He couldn’t tear it worse at that point. Dixon wanted to play. The docs cleared him to play. His dad said he should play if he wants to. He ran great north-south, including a 45 yard touchdown and 150 yards of total offense during the first few minutes of the Arizona game. And then he tried to go east/west, tweaked it, and went down again.
Was he hurt worse?
No.
Would he have gotten better in time for the UCLA game or the Oregon State game had he sat out Arizona?
No.
Would he have been able to play in a bowl game?
No.
Will his professional sports prospects be harmed?
No.
And again, since reading comprehension is something lost on Florida fans defending their robot Heisman winner – I DON’T CARE ABOUT TEBOW’S RELIGIOUSNESS.
I found it sickening because he was such an automaton with no evident personality. The religious bit just looked contrived as hell. It could have been a book by Alasteir Crowley and it would have been the same thing (no, actually the zombie thing would have made more sense then, but you get the idea).
Just look at that little ESPN video again. Brennan’s snorkeling off the Hawaii coast, McFadden’s hanging out around the big pig statue in Fayetteville, Daniel is shown skydiving, and Tebow (1) rides up behind the trophy on his moped (lame, but funny in its own laugh-at-the-retarded-kid way) and (2) is shown flipping through his Bible in the tunnel at The Swamp.
Am I the only person here who thought: “find the Stepford Quarterback?”
December 9th, 2007 at 10:09 pm
103
Mr Pelican Pants says:
The only way Tim Tebow can beat the Heisman curse is to win it 3 times in a row, and the curse is lifted..
That way he will be the youngest Heisman, and the most prolific Heisman….3 in a row….he can do it if he can beat Georgia the next 2 yrs, and is 50/50 chance of winning another MNC in the next 2 yrs….
December 9th, 2007 at 10:38 pm
104
Skip says:
99
Not being able to use anti-gay slurs really cramps your style, huh?
December 9th, 2007 at 10:53 pm
105
Kate says:
#102: Nice essay. I like how you state Tebow’s religiousness has nothing to do with your dislike of him, and then go on to cite the images of him reading his Bible as what really illustrates why he pisses you off so inexplicably much. (Really, reading his Bible and being goofy and plain-spoken makes him a “fucking douchebag”? As opposed to being someone who nastily rails on the internet about a kid reading his Bible as something personally abhorent? So does that make you some sort of “super”-fucking douchebag in comparison?)
Anyway, peace out, I guess, and have fun with Ryan Leaf’s little brother at the Brut Sun Bowl (which was of course in no way Bellotti’s fault).
December 9th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
106
gatorfromjax says:
Nope, Skip, it doesnt. I never condoned any such slur. And I never have on this website or any other. What I did was to point out the double standard in the treatment of slurs.
Do you understand the difference??
And AZDuck, you say you have no issue with his religious beliefs but it is easy for you to hate him because (1) he thanked God and (2) ESPN asked him to tape a shot reading the Bible in the Swamp and he agreed. Huh?? You are making no sense here. But I dont expect you to since you seem consumed by a great deal of hate. I hope you can sort that out. Really, I do.
December 10th, 2007 at 3:15 pm