EDSBS » 2007 » December

December 6, 2007

BULLET BULLET BULLET!! (YESTERDAY!!) YOUR ALL-SEC TEAMS.

–Nod unsurprised and shake your head that he’s still alive and swinging: Tim Tebow, first team QB. The only shocker here is not seeing him also named as a running back and O-Lineman.

–Three Vandy players on the list! Receiver Earl Bennett gets first team honors, with Jonathan Goff and D.J. Moore making the second defensive team.

–Jonathan Hefney making All-SEC…I just don’t know. I love the guy, but this seems like more of a name recognition vote than a validation of anything he’s done this year, which ain’t much.

– Raise your glasses, shake ya asses to:
Knowshon Moreno, Freshman of the Year and first team running back. Marvel at his sideline antics below and kick yourself if you missed this game, in which he performed no fewer than six separate fully choregraphed sideline routines. He’d get my vote, if they gave them to dirty bloggers, by virtue of being fantastic television:

–Bafflement: The relegation of Percy “Prettybird” Harvin to second team honors. It pains no one more than me to say that, but the son of a bitch can fly, and that’s got to count for something.

–The first team defense leads the conference in Gilbert & Sullivan-worthy monikers, boasting Wallace Gilberry, Ali Highsmith, Simeon Castille, and Captain Munnerlyn, who also garnered All-American Name Team honors.

–Vol Baby Eric “Boo” Berry, second team! Eighteen years old and already a beast. If you’ve never seen this kid play, I pray you, DO. He’s going to be an absolute monster in the secondary of a sort Tennessee has not seen in years.

–Daniel Lincoln and Britton Colquitt, both second team, continue Tennessee’s habit of fielding fantastic players of kicking persuasions and rank incompetence elsewhere in special teams (a bit unfair at present, thanks to a curious resurgence in the Vol return game this year, but we do love tradition).

–And LSU kicker Colt David. Sweet, fragile Colt David. I suppose I should resent you for beating out Lincoln for first team honors, but he’s only a freshman and has plenty of time to fill the shoes of James Wilhoit. But you’ve brought us so many hours of entertainment, ever since our liveblog of Florida-LSU that I can’t find it in me to resent your success.

“LSU trails Florida by Colt David should be eaten by scorpions. Three. I mean three.” –J-Cuz, LSU-Florida, 4th quarter

–As for Coach of the Year…he brought his team to the Liberty Bowl, defeated the Orgeron. Hard to say which was more improbable in August, but SEC? You’ve been CROOMX0RED.

The rankings are here; individual awards here. Praise or rail at Football Jesus at your leisure, sirs.

Filed under: allons-y SEC by Holly

[ 47 Replies ]

Cleanse The Palate!

It’s not Friday Cheesecake time yet, but I absolutely cannot refresh this page to that face again. Sorry, JHC.

Filed under: Cheesecake by Peter Bean

[ 44 Replies ]

THE CRIES OF THE TIGER

Missouri’s Secret Shame, Volleyball Mascot: Miz Meow!

The Missouri Tigers went from the proverbial driver’s seat to riding in the bed of the pickup truck in three horrific hours on Saturday night. It’s tough medicine, to be sure, but it’s also no time for crying. No one wants to hear you whine about being left out of the BCS, Missouri. Your football program has been a joke for as long as we can remember and one good season does not afford you the respect you think you’re entitled to. This was a good season for you, so let’s not leave on bad terms. You were the #1 team in the country and had a chance to avenge your only loss of the season. You got an opportunity to show the nation that you were for real — and you blew it in spectacular fashion. Oklahoma pistol-whipped you, as evidenced by this animated drive chart . The Sooners used your carcass to convince me that they may actually be the best team in the country right now, so let this be a learning experience for your entire beleaguered state. If you want to be known for more than meth production and excessive Christianity, then I suggest you take a few plays off, look at what you’ve accomplished, and focus on beating a Nuttless Arkansas in the Cotton Bowl. Godspeed!

Filed under: Big 12 Conference, and that is tough titties for you, meow, virility by jebus

[ 36 Replies ]

Curious Index, 12/6/07

A new pig in the blanket? Reports indicate that Wake Forest head coach Jim Grobe has accepted an offer to become Arkansas’ new head coach. This seems like a fine hire to us, especially because Nutt Job stayed in the SEC, keeping him in the news and us in business.

Grobe was the 2006 ACC Coach of the Year when he led the Deamon Deacons to the conference championship and an Orange Bowl appearance. For his sake, we hope there are no skeletons in his closet because by God the people of Arkansas will dig ‘em out, if so. Good luck, sir.

There is one thing we can promise Mr. Grobe as he departs the ACC for a more… indulging… fan base. There won’t be any of this in the SEC.

UPDATE! Jim Grobe is staying at Wake Forest. I should know better than to nap on an Arkansas coaching hire… The drama continues. Soooooooey!

Fulmer Cup points? The arrests are trickling in, including two Aggies on drug and robbery charges, but we remind the eager readers that Fulmer Cup official scoring does not begin until after the season concludes. Certainly for teams heading to bowls then, these arrests are just unofficial warm ups. Orson will have to rule on whether teams not heading to bowls may begin accumulating points.

Make yourself comfortable, Jimbo. Florida State is set to announce on Monday that Jimbo Fisher will succeed Bobby Bowden when he finally decides to retire. This would normally qualify as exciting news for an assistant coach, but we imagine Fisher handled the news like he had been told he’d inherit Montgomery Burns’ estate upon his death.

AD: “Jimbo, we’re gonna promote you to coach when Bobby hangs ‘em up!”

Fisher: “Hoo. Ray.”

AD: “You don’t seem as excited as I’d hoped.”

Fisher: [mimicks waving pom poms] “Oh, no. I’m thrrrrrilled.”

AD: “What’s wrong, Jimbo?”

Fisher: “Bah. Nothing. It’s just… I dunno, a man hopes to make head coach before he turns 65.”

Professor, I have a question. With SMQ taking a week off to catch his breath and Orson chasing livestock in the southwest, the mean IQ of the CFB blogosphere took a pretty nasty hit this week. It’s sort of the opposite of what might happen to Sports Illustrated if they shipped out Stewart Mandel and Peter King.

Fear not, though, readers: we’re not totally doomed to an Oklahoma education this week. Others have picked up the slack. The M Zone asks a smart question about the utility of the “records against winning teams” statistic (it’s bunk, he says), prompting LD to respond with some interesting follow-up thought. Thus concludes our “The More You Know” segment for the week. Back to regularly scheduled snickering and rumor-mongering.

Any chance of a split? My good friend Adam Jones has written a guest editorial spot for CFB News with a paragraph at the end that caught my eye:

We are all left not quite knowing who reigns supreme in the college football world. I shudder to think what the newly independent and historically mischievous voters of the Associated Press will leave us with after this bowl season. The cacophonic clamorings for a playoff�at least of the �plus-one� variety�will continue, but likely on deaf ears; a 12-0 romp by USC next season will make everyone forget this ugly anomaly.

We’ve spent plenty of time discussing how wack the 2007 season has been, but we’re not sure we’ve seen anyone yet discuss the possibility of a split national title. It’s pretty difficult to imagine a situation where that would happen, but it can’t be discounted at this point. Question of the day: Is there any scenario that might tempt AP voters into casting votes for a team other than the LSU-Ohio State winner?