Pass The Cyanide, Please
We Longhorn fans have had an interesting ride during Mack Brown’s 10 years in Austin. 1998-2003 were filled with promise, but mostly near-misses. 2004 saw Vince Young take over under center and another loss to Oklahoma - our fifth in a row. Vince never lost a game after that, though, winning back to back Rose Bowls along the way, including Texas’ perfect run through 2005 to the national title.
Ah, those were the days. The team was loose. The best player in college football history was doing things none of us had ever seen. And Mack Freaking Brown had 50 Cent in his iPod.
Vince Young is a god. For real.
But oh how things are regressing to the mean. Since small town hero Colt McCoy beat Oklahoma last season, the Longhorns have quickly tumbled back to the pack. Texas lost back to back games to K-State and A&M last year, choking away the South Division to Oklahoma, who promptly won their fourth Big 12 title under Bob Stoops. After the game? Malcolm Kelly celebrates:
I’m sensing a pattern here…
Fast forward to today, and Oklahoma’s won their fifth Big 12 title under Stoops, with his fifth different quarterback. Meanwhile, Texas fans are prepping for their fourth trip to the Holiday Bowl in the past eight seasons. Freshman wunderkind Colt McCoy has become the Sophomore Slump. Texas has looked listless for two straight seasons… and today we may have found out why.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Austin American-Statesman presents: Area Athletes’ Top 10 Songs To Workout/Get Pumped Up To.
Colt McCoy’s Top 10
1. (tie) ‘She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy,’ Kenny Chesney and ‘I Can Still Make Cheyenne,’ George Strait
2. ‘Good Directions,’ Billy Currington
3. ‘Tuesday’s Gone,’ Lynyrd Skynyrd
4. ‘Big City,’ Merle Haggard
5. ‘Cowboy Song,’ Thin Lizzy
6. ‘Yellow Ledbetter,’ Pearl Jam
7. ‘Bad Company,’ Bad Company
8. ‘Hotel California,’ Eagles
9. ‘Lost and Found,’ Randy Rogers Band
10. ‘She’s Every Woman,’ Garth Brooks
One of these things is not like the others.
God help the Longhorns…
(Hat Tip: Barking Carnival)












25
Anyone here concerned that the golfer on that list is sporting that much wood for Judas Priest.
Comment by Cincy — December 4, 2007 @ 1:14 pm
24
Peter,
Isn’t Vince Young essentially a black Tim Tebow?
Comment by PW — December 4, 2007 @ 1:14 pm
23
Is the world just finding out that Mack is an awful coach?
BTW
Kenny Chesney is gay. Not there is anything wrong with that.
Comment by willet — December 4, 2007 @ 1:13 pm
22
#18 —
So you’re convinced UT would have gone undefeated his hypothetical senior year, huh? Okay.
I think the greatest football player ever at Texas was the Tyler Rose, Earl Campbell. And I think he’s in the top five all-time in college football.
Comment by Gurn — December 4, 2007 @ 1:13 pm
21
Eurovision has better music than Colt’s iPod.
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2006/05/23/orson-on-finebaum-eurovision-song-contest/
Comment by Geaux Irish — December 4, 2007 @ 1:12 pm
20
Nebraska fans think Colt’s a bit of a hick.
Comment by Land of Os(borne) — December 4, 2007 @ 1:05 pm
19
Best workout music ever would have to be Rage Against the Machine. I always get a few extra reps during the “Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me!” part of “Killing in the Name”
Comment by Brian O'Blivion — December 4, 2007 @ 1:03 pm
18
#13, you’re oh so wrong. Nobody at Texas has ever done anything like what VY did his junior year. And if he had stayed for a senior year, he’d have finished his career 43-2, with untouchable numbers.
Comment by Peter Bean — December 4, 2007 @ 1:02 pm
17
Since #1 is a tie, shouldn’t the next song on the list be #3? I mean, his top ten includes eleven songs.
Who the hell says ten and means eleven…and doesn’t play anyone out of conference?
Comment by PW — December 4, 2007 @ 1:01 pm
16
“They’ll see tough.”
“And by tough, I mean sleeveless t-shirts and a turtle-like visage.”
Comment by King Puppy — December 4, 2007 @ 12:58 pm
15
ohhhhh .. that’s why Vince Young is a god. He had a towel around his head.
Wait, what ?
You sure it’s not “I’m every woman”, Whitney Houston ?
Comment by Scalz1 — December 4, 2007 @ 12:55 pm
14
About as sexxxy as your ill-advised scrambling, Colt.
Comment by Holly — December 4, 2007 @ 12:54 pm
13
“the greatest player in the history of college football”?
He’s not even the best player in the history of Texas football.
Comment by Gurn — December 4, 2007 @ 12:53 pm
12
Since when is Hotel California a song to get pumped to?
UT Fans:
Send Colt some iTunes gift cards for Christmas:
Iron Maiden
Pantera
Metallica
Slayer
Opeth
You know, anything to get him a pulse.
Dethklok and DragonForce, whatever it takes.
Comment by Techie — December 4, 2007 @ 12:50 pm
11
who made, that is…I hate it when I leave out important words…
Comment by baconboy — December 4, 2007 @ 12:43 pm
10
Oh. My. God.
Comment by Tony the Tiger — December 4, 2007 @ 12:43 pm
9
Girly Music Dept:
After reading that playlist, Texas University ought to send their team, coaches and hangers on’ to one of those “How to be a Man” work shops. After banging Afrincan drums for a weekend or so, and getting ripped a new one by a “Curly-type” from City Slickers, they might be able to man up and listen to something other than girly-man music.
Comment by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me — December 4, 2007 @ 12:42 pm
8
I think the kid who the Oklahoma remix is what Orson must have looked like when he was 12.
Comment by baconboy — December 4, 2007 @ 12:42 pm
7
At least they didn’t say Dave Matthews - me no like.
Heh, I thought this list was a joke at first.
Comment by Brian — December 4, 2007 @ 12:31 pm
6
Ummmmm…..Vince Young not a God anymore. You seen that guy play this year???
Comment by The Last Dragon — December 4, 2007 @ 12:29 pm
5
Worst.Playlsit.Ever…oh yeah, and Fuck Texas
Comment by Rowdie Gaines — December 4, 2007 @ 12:29 pm
4
Wow. You found Waldo.
Comment by DirkDawggler — December 4, 2007 @ 12:27 pm
3
Gary Barnett thinks that Katie Hnida’s playlist is better.
Comment by Geaux Irish — December 4, 2007 @ 12:24 pm
2
Pearl Jam would like to have its name removed from consideration in any future Colt McCoy redneck-centric playlists.
Comment by Dr. StrangeCock — December 4, 2007 @ 12:22 pm
1
Man, slow songs like “Yellow Ledbetter” and “Hotel California” to get pumped up? Kenny Chesney does not lend itself to “swagger” in any way.
“I had a rough night and I hate the fuckin’ Eagles, man!”
Comment by Signal to Noise — December 4, 2007 @ 12:22 pm