Bumper crops! On the heels of the extremely absurd setup of the extremely absurd final countdown to the extremely absurd conclusion of the college football season, what better time could you find to stop by the BCS’s website, an ode to propaganda with headlines like these:

• The BCS Works
• Ex-Ga. Tech QB sees folly of playoffs
• All the BCS needs is some adjustments
• Q&A: Chances are still stacked against playoff

It’s just what you’ll need to get into the key of bullshit this morning, especially if you’re a Georgia or Hawaii fan.

The long list of people Sir Sweatervest needs to thank includes Steve Spurrier: if you’ll recall from deep within the early Cretaceous period of this season, South Carolina beat Georgia 16-12, giving the Bulldogs an early loss and setting up the Buckeyes’ return to the title game. What’s still got us pouring shots at 9 in the morning is the fact that this entire controversy hinges on a certain eight minute span in the Illinois/Ohio State game and an upset of the Buckeyes engineered by [NAME REDACTED], along with contributions from Jim Harbaugh, the Kentucky defense, and Blake Mitchell.

With Miles staying at LSU, something it only took him an entire press conference and an interview with Tracy Wolfson to say, Michigan now has…Jim Grobe fever, motherfuckers! He’s just one possibility, of course, but he’s an amusing one especially when he’s got Tom Dienhart typing things like “it’ll be hard to get him out of Wake Forest.” Very much ungood yah things not happy good for Michigan right now yes yes.

Yarr. Mike Leach in UCLA would be the best thing imaginable: Leach, a large media presence, the Pac-10, and public faceoffs with apparent Breathatarian, Humanitarian, and all-around freak Pete Carroll. Life, open the chutes to the silos of crazy and let them pour forth, because Mike Leach needs to hang out with Viggo Mortensen and Charlie Kaufman to make the cycle complete. He just does.

Lloyd Carr will coach his final game in the Capitol One Bowl versus Florida. This game will not come down to a double reverse heave thrown by a backup cornerback. It will not. It will not. It will not.