THE AGENDA: CHAMPIONSHIP WEEKEND.
We’ll be at the SEC Championship Game this weekend, covering it for the Sporting News and taking pictures, talking to drunk people, and actually entering the pressbox. Fear for our lives, but check this space for further updates, pictures, and other tomfooleries from the game, as well as our full-blown, ADD-addled blog coverage over on The Sporting News.
We would be remiss and blazing with disrespect if we didn’t mention the death of Evil Knievel in this space before leaving for the weekend, though. Knievel inspired millions with his crochet patterns, his passion for flamenco dancing, and his subtly phrased viola solos in to packed houses in Milan, Tokyo, Sydney, and his landmark concert in Antarctica with G.G. Allin.
Ha! We’re just kidding. He liked to fuck himself on camera in bizarre and spectacular ways, and people liked to watch him almost die in exotic and explosive ways. You can practically watch as his pelvis shatters into a thousand little pebbles in this clip of Knievel’s attempt to jump the fountains at Caesar’s. And you will.
There’s entirely too little of this sort of public redneck daring these days. According to the clip info on Youtube, Linda Evans was the cameraperson on this clip. We’re sure Evil got right up after this happened and made sweet love to her right there in front of the thousands of gorehounds who turned up to watch him die. Or, er…he made love to her after he woke up from the 29 day coma the accident put him into.
Enjoy your weekend, and remember: life’s the Snake River, and you’re already strapped into a rocket car without a plan or a clue. Enjoy the descent.
-O.












37
JC @ #7 nailed it. Launch the coffin over Snake River. Or get the hearse revved up and down to the buspark.
Comment by Not a Fifer — December 3, 2007 @ 9:18 am
36
Never Saw Molly Hatchett #31,
Your last sentence is so very true.
Comment by PortTrojan — December 2, 2007 @ 9:18 pm
35
Mr. Pelican Pants, Sr. could easily kick Red Forman’s ass.
Comment by Dave — December 2, 2007 @ 8:31 pm
34
R.I.P., Evel. Not only were you a badass, but you were also the inspiration for a main character in one of Matt Groening’s favorite Simpsons episodes.
Try to keep the rubber side down on the big ramp in the sky buddy.
Comment by BDoc — December 1, 2007 @ 2:43 pm
33
32–
Yes, and then he puked all over the audience while injecting heroin into his eyeballs.
Comment by Chuck — December 1, 2007 @ 12:06 pm
32
Can’t help but wonder if G.G. Allin shoved the handlebars up his ass.
Comment by Never Saw Molly Hatchet — December 1, 2007 @ 11:19 am
31
Mr. Pelican Pants - Great story! Brings back similar memories. I vividly recall my attempt at Evel-ness in trying to land the front wheel of my Huffy on my buddy’s skateboard after a jump off of the driveway “ramp.” I envisioned that, upon landing, the skateboard would simply serve as a proxy for my front wheel and that I would cruise down the street like I was leading the Parade of Awesome Motherfuckers. As you might imagine, speed + gravity + concrete = ego-crushing reality.
My mom watched this fiasco from our front porch, probably wondering how my little sister might enjoy being an only child. Once she saw that I wasn’t dead, she shook her head and told me to get my ass out of the street before a car came and I really got hurt.
If anyone would have done the research in the 70’s, they probably would have discovered that Evel Knievel was the leading cause of pain for boys age 9-12.
Comment by Never Saw Molly Hatchet — December 1, 2007 @ 11:17 am
30
Damn….my bad….Miles to Michigan….I dont know if Jimbo covets the FSU job more than the LSU, since we all know Bobby Bowden is due to collapse on the job anytime now, or be forced not into retirement, but into a retirement home
Comment by Mr Pelican Pants — December 1, 2007 @ 10:34 am
29
Now for some mindless fun….think back to Evel Knievel days……and Slap-shot….here is some audio
Hanson brothers rock…
http://www.slap-shot.com/audio.htm
Comment by Mr Pelican Pants — December 1, 2007 @ 10:32 am
28
27
I assume you meant Miles to Michigan. That being the case, would LSU go after Jimbo Fisher? Would he come back?
Comment by PW — December 1, 2007 @ 10:24 am
27
Well its a done deal…Miles to LSU, Pellini to Nebraska, let the dismantling of LSU begin….Watch the line in this game change dramatically….Lsu football team will probaly be tailgating before the game,and will probaly play better drunk…..
#24……Hell at the time I didnt know who in the hell Burt Reynolds was…..til I saw Smokey and the Bandit, then I became a Jackie Gleason fan since he stole the show…My dad thought Evel Knievel was a fraud since he felt he wasnt getting paid enought to do the crazy shit he did, kinda like Les Miles
Comment by Mr Pelican Pants — December 1, 2007 @ 10:13 am
26
OK, someone give MorningBeer @ 25 a trophy.
Comment by PW — December 1, 2007 @ 9:58 am