Your morning rumor report includes a financial bombshell that, if true, confirms our suspicions that Michigan’s athletic department is cheap/SEC football programs print their own money colored with the ink of slaughtered gremlins. Again: all of this is fact-like substance, and not to be confused with real fact, and if responded to with “I call shennannigans” in the comments, we will personally fire a Hellfire missile from the EDSBS Predator at your house in response. They’re all shennanigans until we see a man in a dorky hat at a press conference repeating excited name of football program excited excited happy repeat name of football program.

Your soundtrack, courtesy of the Timex Social Club:

The top shelf, Louis XIV cognac rumor of the day is that LSU offered Les Miles 3.45 mil to stay at LSU. Michigan’s standing offer in this variant of the rumor is somewhere between 2 and 2.5 million, meaning that the inestimable bonds of affection between Miles and Michigan, allegedly priceless, may now be given a cash value of somewhere around 1 to 1.45 million dollars.

Another candidate to replace Chan Gailey at Georgia Tech is now Randy Edsall, who tripped he coach-sensors at Atlanta’s Hartsfield Airport on Thursday. Edsall’s a very good coach, but “exciting” doesn’t describe Edsall’s grim, hard-hitting vintage of football. We were thinking someone with a bit more fiesta in them, frankly…like Mike Leach, who would only have to change half of the name of his school on his underwear if he came to Tech.

(The server issues should be resolved now. A software update caused a conflict that brought things to a screeching halt. We apologize for the delays, and offer up a special offer of nothing to compensate you for the inconvenience.)