I RECOMMEND ME
Bystander: My god, this man’s stopped breathing! Someone call a doctor! NOOOOOOOOW!
Tom Osborne: Hush, little man. Dr. Tom’s here now.
Bystander: Oh, thank god. Look! He’s turning blue!
Tom Osborne: Oh, it’s just a doctorate in education. But I’m pretty sure I’m the right guy for the job. Fetch leeches, son.
You know who I like? Me.Bystander, pacing at Starbucks: Where’s my coffee?
Tom Osborne: Coming right up, young man.
Bystander: This tastes like bleach!
Tom Osborne: And urine, son. Pure urine. That’s a latte, right?
Lonely woman: My husband neglects me.
Tom Osborne: Shhh, shhh. Quiet.
Lonely woman: Ohhh, Dr. Tom, is that a corn cob in your pocket, are you just happy to see me?
Tom Osborne: Well, heh, it actually is a corn cob. I carry it for luck. I’m just being sensitive and comforting without ulterior motives. I’ll leave the satisfaction of your physical desires to my friend and former player Christian Peter here.
University of Nebraska: Hey, Tom. We need an interim head football coach.
Dr. Tom: I know just the man, everyone. I know just the man.
We know this is about recruiting, and being able to put Osborne in homes to talk to blue-chippers directly with a proper and legal title. Still, the Dick Cheney Award for self-nomination goes to Dr. Tom for naming himself as interim head coach.)
Filed under: Big 12 Conference, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, College football by Orson Swindle
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41,
you’ll get no disagreement from me that frost is a little bitch…
1) he’s more Stanford at heart than he is Nebraska.
2) he could’ve squelched this whole LP discussion and could’ve tried to circumvent the whole ugly incident by coming out from the closet that he hid in while it was going on (subsequent to LP freaking out because frost was banging his ex.)
3) (as you noted) he unnecessarily cried like a bitch when Michelle Tafoya stuck a mic in his face, when he should’ve just taken the Grant Wistrom approach and said “You’ve seen us and you’ve seen Michigan…now go ask yourself who you’d rather play against?”
4) in spite of all of this, I was willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt when I once met him in person…but he was still a complete douche.
As big a bitch as frost is, the difference was that he’s remembered for a 10 second sound bite from an interview that took less than a minute…I’d actually have to log the tapes to find out the exact number of hours worth of babbling that Griese’s daddy devoted to the subject of his son’s team’s superiority throughout that season. The fact that he was allowed to man the broadcast booth for over half of his son’s games is bad enough…the way he used his position to brazenly shill for the Wolverines is the epitome of unprofessional sports broadcasting. Comparing Frost’s bitchy final act to that is quite a stretch…
Comment by DT — November 30, 2007 @ 5:29 pm
45
Yea, really Michigan, there is no way you would have had a chance against Nebraska in 1997. You were nothing more than a one-hit wonder and Neb was the throws of full-on NC lovin. Did Neb had that one bad game against Mizzou? Yes. But Griese would have been lucky to score one touchdown against that Nebraska D that year.
Just……..stop.
Comment by Meatybob — November 30, 2007 @ 12:30 pm
44
Yesterday’s has beens? Like the way Texas rolled up Bitchagain? How close were the two Texas/Ohio State games? Like the way bad Nebraska teams beat Michigan, Michigan State, Minnesota, and Northwestern?
Spartan fan has zero room to talk about defensive meltdowns or offensive execution, considering what Bo Pelini did to you folks last time we crossed paths.
LSUJoshua — there is *nothing* more ironic than an LSU fan bitching about someone else’s split title. You coonasses bust out the tar and feathers whenever you suspect someone of thinking about referencing USC’s consecutive NC’s.
Nebraska’s defensive coordinator and former head coach were products of the Big 11. I can see why Callahan got out of the Big 11, the conference offense has forsaken.
RUTS — try reading Oz’s account of all of that in one of his books rather than the New Republic hatchet job.
Oz wouldn’t make a Death Star — he’d make a Porn Star.
Comment by Albino Tornado — November 30, 2007 @ 11:14 am
43
Who’s claiming that any conference is full of has beens? They all suck. Who is really a national title worthy team this year?
As for calling Osborne shady, he gave the guy a second chance because there was no way to fix LP without some sort of incentive, which was football. He also pushed LP out the door after his junior year. Anyone who says he “needed” LP is a moron. Ahman Green (recognize the name?) averaged over 7 ypc that year. Osborne has always stated that he regretted how he handled the LP situation. So blow it out your ass.
And it doesn’t surprise me that a Florida fan would make fun of Osborne…any bad memories of Nebraska?
Comment by Michigan is Gay — November 30, 2007 @ 10:39 am
42
This all sounds very familiar….
Is Osborne related to Dick Cheney?
Comment by Hmmmmm — November 30, 2007 @ 8:33 am
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@DT - “the media lapped up Daddy Griese’s hype, hook, line & sinker…”
Yeah - good thing the media didnt pay attention to Scott Frost’s crying pleas to give Osborne one more on his way out the door.
He could have taken a lesson from “Baby Griese” whose post-game statement was the epitome of poise and not the sniveling whining of bitch boy Frost.
Comment by Cock D — November 30, 2007 @ 8:04 am