CURIOUS INDEX, 11/28/07
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Les to worry about for Michigan (abominable puns being his chief gift to college football copy writers) as with Kirk Ferentz out, the job searchlight focuses directly on the beaming white skittle of Les Miles’ hat. Miles is still mumming about the question and instead pawning the press off with stories of his daughter, who evidently takes no shit from dad when it comes to losses. After the shattering defeat, Miles said no less an authority than his youngest daughter, Macy Grace, told him, “Dad, I’m mad at you because you lost.” Miles said he tried to reason with the tot, letting her know he “was still the same Dad,” and trying to make her understand blood is thicker than scoreboards. In addition to Miles occasional mismanagement of the clock, this should concern Michigan fans even more. Scoreboards are made of steel, metal, and diodes, all clearly thicker than weak, watery blood! This leaves the only other serious contenders for the Michigan job–after two interviews with assistants Mike Debord and Ron English–as Brian Kelly and, in the random possible stack…Jeff Tedford? That’s just something pulled straight from the crazy idea box, but it’s out there. Michigan would have no problem with stadiums built on a faultlines or hippies in the trees, since Ted Nugent is legally allowed to shoot on sight anyone he chooses in the state and have them prepped and ready for the grill in 15 minutes. Tastes like patchouli and lentils, brother! Rice’s band continued the tradition of private school excellence in band snark by staging an entire halftime show around the treachery of Tulsa coach Todd Graham’s departure from Baylor for his current job, following a fictional search for Graham through the circles of hell and passing Dennis Franchione along the way. Really, the entire thing validated itself with the unnecessary and superb jab at Franchione; however, it rocketed into new territory with its ending. You know, that reminds me of a joke: A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. Now, I forgot how the rest of it went, but I think in the end Todd Graham is a douchebag. Tulsa reacted as we big, burly, super-tough Americans do: they filed a complaint. FUCK YEAH! Randy Shannon is reinstating the Miami standard by This week’s to-do list is up at the Sporting News. TRADITION! Please give Joel the hits he so richly deserves by checking his full explanation of how the Vols managed to wobble their way into the title game, but we’ll go ahead and with his permission bite the Youtube he put together of Tennessee’s Fiddler on the Roof act to get them there. Phil Fulmer dancing with a mule is involved.
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1
cjjags says:
another Fran stab…
let it go dude… he’s gone.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:17 am
2
PW says:
Sporting News link, please.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:22 am
3
HFS says:
Iron cage… deadly weapons… cheering, bloodthirsty crowd…
Two girls enter… one girl leaves…
Hayley Lafontaine vs. Macy Grace Miles… who survives? And who plays the role of Aunty Entity?
November 28th, 2007 at 10:24 am
4
Jerkwheat says:
Rice was probably more pissy about Graham’s departure from Rice rather than his non-departure from Baylor
November 28th, 2007 at 10:25 am
5
yoyofutbawl says:
Back in 1970-71 or so, the Stanford Band formed male & female sex symbols, with the male chasing the female all over the field while playing “I Can”t Get No Satisfaction.”
On national TV, no less. Hard to top that (sorry for the pun).
November 28th, 2007 at 10:27 am
6
PW says:
The Rice band story didn’t make sense until I realized that Baylor was a typo. I thought maybe Texas schools were just really sensitive to coach infidelity amongst their ranks.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:28 am
7
Crapass says:
“Scoreboards are made of steel, metal, and diodes, all clearly thicker than weak, watery blood!”
I was very confused for approximately 4 minutes because I didn’t think dildos had anything to do with scoreboards.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:29 am
8
SunDawg says:
God, that film was depressing.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:34 am
9
Chips O'Toole says:
Let’s see……small, closely knit, very pious community, seemingly stuck in a different era……
it seems that the deep south not so different than a turn of the century eastern european shtetl after all……
November 28th, 2007 at 10:39 am
10
gerry dorsey says:
hfs,
fuck you very much for beating me to the haley lafontaine punch.
on another note, is it a coincidence that around the time miami bans guns at their facility, they start to suck?? i think not.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:40 am
11
OhioDawg says:
Brian Kelly is NOT a candidate for any job other than his current position with Cincinnati. I’m in cincy and Kelly cannot issue denials often enough or emphatically enough. One year isn’t enough.
If both of these comments remind you of Dantonio’s situation then you’re probably in Cincinnati also.
Leave Kelly alone!
November 28th, 2007 at 10:41 am
12
beast in 'bama says:
yo-yo @ #5: Hard to top that, true. But I’ll try.
Back in the ’70s, the Aggie bitch mascot died during the season. The Marching Owl Band played “Where O Where Has My Little Dog Gone” at halftime of the A&M game – IN College Station. A riot ensued.
Todd Graham had to know that the MOB was going to go after him – and it was not going to be nice – after he left for Tulsa, a conference rival. He’s upset by douchebag? The truth often hurts.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:43 am
13
Steve says:
Ok, I realize it’s a bit cliche’d and played out by now, by I laughed my fucking ass of at this.
http://www.jasanders.com/images/ironbowlposter2.jpg
November 28th, 2007 at 10:46 am
14
Jerkwheat says:
pssst…OhioDawg….Brian Kelly reassured us all last year that he was about to sign an extension with Central as well….
November 28th, 2007 at 10:46 am
15
Steve says:
And I just realized I’m the jackass of the decade.
Play on.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:49 am
16
Because They Can says:
I have a dog named Macy Grace (listed on her registration papers that way) that’s a little older than Les’ daughter. I have not yet decided what this all means, but I’m sure it’s not a coincidence.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:49 am
17
WWJD says:
What a testimony to Randy Shannon’s commitment to education. We’d hate to see incompetent players get a college degree. Perhaps their parents will scrape together the tuition for this vastly overpriced institution.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:54 am
18
gerry dorsey says:
“Kelly cannot issue denials often enough or emphatically enough”
nick saban thinks you’re being pretty damn naive.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:55 am
19
DevilGrad says:
100 cocktails to the MOB! (Though one suspects they consumed at least that many before taking the field.)
November 28th, 2007 at 10:59 am
20
Tater Salad says:
By the way, that racist dog? Being sued by the player’s mom. Fantastic. As always, no idea how to post a link, but you can copy and paste this one:
http://decaturdaily.com/stories/620.html
Also, an Alabama legislator looks like he will be suing AU because he did not receive tickets to the Iron Bowl and the accompanying parking pass. Just nice to know we have our priorities in order.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:00 am
21
Terry Tate, Office Linebacker says:
I also found this ad hilarious- run buy a prominent Alabama jeweler the week of the Iron Bowl. The owner, an outspoken Alabama grad, later admitted “it may have gone a bit farther than we intended.”
http://www.thebarner.com/BrombergsAU.pdf
November 28th, 2007 at 11:10 am
22
yoyofutbawl says:
11
Best I witnessed in person was the old UVA Pep Band (dismantled by that a-hole Algroh) at Clempson. They formed a tank and lit a smoke bomb, while the announcer said, “Warning Clempson Fans, USC has purchased a new septic tank and plans on attacking you with it as soon as they figure out how to drive it”.
That was followed up w/ them spelling “DED” and saying “uh-oh, looks like we don’t have too many English majors in the band this year, but what do Judge Bork’s Supreme Court nomination & Judge Crater have in common?”
November 28th, 2007 at 11:12 am
23
UTEx says:
The Mob made fun of UT’s program when we played Rice back in September? Maybe October. Anyway, there were a few scattered boos, but for the most part, people loved the show?this included the UT fans. We are big enough to take a joke about ourselves. Too bad Tulsa isn’t. And sometimes the truth hurts.
Maybe the references to great literature were lost on Tulsa…do they even read Dante?
November 28th, 2007 at 11:12 am
24
UgasTexan says:
Oh! For the days of the good ole SWC!!! The MOB has been reduced to ridiculing the likes of Tulsa. Too easy! Cocktails to the MOB: just go straight to Valhalla and tell em UgasTexan is buying the rounds of 50 cent Shiners for all 25 of you.
@ 19: Didn’t take lawya long to find Mom and convince her that the gubment got some money, eh? And the “legislator,” you think he’s a lawya too?
November 28th, 2007 at 11:13 am
25
Doug says:
Back in the 1980s when Doug Wilder was governor of Virginia, he took up with the former-burlesque-star ex-wife of one of UVA’s big-time donors. Wilder got into some hot water for letting her fly around in State Police helicopters for various errands, but it didn’t stop him from squiring her to a UVA-VT game one year.
Anyway, at halftime, the UVA “scramble band” told an off-color joke about Wilder’s consort and played “The Stripper,” and Wilder nearly had them booted off of campus. Oddly enough, though, they didn’t get axed for good until their controversial anti-West-Virginia halftime show in the Continental Tire Bowl a few years back.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:14 am
26
NewAZTiger says:
6
November 28th, 2007 at 11:19 am
27
beast in 'bama says:
1000 Shiners to you, UgasTexan, for the mention of Valhalla (on-campus grad student bar/hangout). You truly have seen all there is to see on the Rice campus.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:22 am
28
Terry Tate, Office Linebacker says:
On a side note during this monsoon of pink slips amongst the coaching ranks, if I have to hear one more black analyst or reporter jump on camera and bitch because the schools that had just fired their coaches didn’t interview enough black coaches for the empty slot, i just may swirlee myself to death.
I don’t want to come across as racist by any stretch, but why in the hell are you going to bitch about white coaches getting hired over black ones? You don’t hear about the Latino population of America all up in arms because the NCAA needs more Hispanic coaches, do you?
After seeing all that these schools are willing to go through to have a winning season (spending millions of dollars a year, ditching entire teams of athletic directors, ruining their reputations, illegal recruiting, paying players, buying players’ mothers houses, covering up cheating and DUIs, etc), don’t you think for an instant that if there was a more qualified black coach out there that they would get sucked up?
I know that there are very qualified black coaches out there, just as there are many qualified white coaches or blue coaches or whatever, but not everyone gets a job.
And although I typically like Wilbon, that SOB won’t quit begging the ADs to “at least interview the black coaches, even if you know you are hiring a white coach from another school, just to get their name in the mix and make themselves appear to be conforming”. I don’t know about you, but while I see the point, that seems about as demeaning and patronizing as anything I have ever seen. Why don’t you just ask Sylvester Croom to shine yo’ shoes and smile real big for ya’ before the interview for Michigan head coach.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:23 am
29
PJ from NU in SF says:
Nice try, Orson, but Uncle Ted cashed in his Michigan hunting licenses and moved down to Crawford, Texas a few years ago. Most of us were glad to see him go, too… but then again, if he keeps playing with chainsaws, maybe we’ll get lucky.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:24 am
30
SpookyJuice says:
12….
That dog is very much like dog the bounty hunter
http://www.nationalenquirer.com/dog_bounty_hunter_racial_slur_tape/celebrity/64325
November 28th, 2007 at 11:27 am
31
Raider Red says:
Todd Graham IS a douchebag. What’s the story here?
November 28th, 2007 at 11:28 am
32
6 in a Row says:
Terry Tate-
today’s random “War Eagle” brought to you by “Brombergs can kiss my ass”!
November 28th, 2007 at 11:28 am
33
Chips O'Toole says:
Janice Powers should hire Wayne Blasingame.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:29 am
34
Dr. William S. McPimpslap, MD says:
Lafontaine @ Miles (+3.5)
November 28th, 2007 at 11:29 am
35
John says:
Orson’s article: http://www.sportingnews.com/yourturn/viewtopic.php?t=310897
November 28th, 2007 at 11:41 am
36
NDTom says:
I didn’t know Phill Fulmer was Jewish
November 28th, 2007 at 11:43 am
37
Tater Salad says:
Best part or article about Rep. Alvin Holmes threatening to sue AU pres:
“I think it’s very unprofessional that a president of a state-supported university would not respond to an inquiry made by the senior member of the House of Representatives or any member of the House of Representatives,” said Holmes. “In light of that fact, I plan to put him under oath and let him testify.”
An inquiry about football tickets. And he’s going to waste all that money to bring the guy into a courtroom. To testify under oath about football tickets.
http://blog.al.com/breaking/2007/11/legislator_threatens_to_sue_au.html
November 28th, 2007 at 11:44 am
38
Steve says:
Re: #20
There were two parts to that ad, they aren’t posting the Alabama half, which reads basically as, “So you love an Alabama fan, and even though she constantly goes on and on about corrupt officials, 20 year old national championships, and coaches who are long dead and buried, you still love her” or something like that.
I think it should be on the front page. Show all the other fans the amount of love we have in this state for the people in the trailers.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:51 am
39
HFS says:
Terry Tate (#20):
And Bromberg’s has been falling all over themselves ever since to try to get those shoppers back, including an “apology” on their website, a planned printed apology, working to fire their ad agency, and talk of setting up a scholarship program.
Stupid is as stupid does. While that’s fine for message board fodder, it’s D-U-M-N for a business to do it.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:58 am
40
RIP Logan Young says:
26
Shocking – the journo school grad from Northwestern hates Ted Nugent.
November 28th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
41
Aerobab says:
Know who else doesn’t put up with any of Les’ shit? Yeah, that’s right…Hailey “Fuckin” Lafontaine.
November 28th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
42
Aerobab says:
Nevermind my post in #36.
Apparently it helps to read existing posts like #3 and #9. If ya’ll need me, I’ll be in the “thought I was an original bastard” corner.
November 28th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
43
Steve says:
Uncle Ted can stay at my house any time he wants. He can help me clean my guns. I need the help, as it is it takes me all damn day as it is.
November 28th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
44
formerlyanonymous says:
No, Mike Sherman is not without ties to Texas A&M, but he left for the NFL and stayed for quite a while. Pete Carroll resurrected USC and won two national titles, but similar hires have resulted in disaster at Nebraska and mediocrity at Pitt and Georgia Tech.
you left out notre dame
November 28th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
45
MCab says:
What is stronger, blood or a scoreboard? Is this the riddle of steel? Lemme go talk to Cromm, I mean, Croom about this.
November 28th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
46
DC Trojan says:
@ 31, I think we can safely say that no matter the doctrinal or cultural alignment – Reform, Conservative, Orthodox, Hasidim, Sephardic, Ashkenazi, Mizrahic, Murray the Sturgeon King, H & H, Barney Greengrass, whatever – the world Jewish community would look at Phil Fulmer and say with one voice: “Not ours!”
November 28th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
47
DC Trojan says:
dammit, I meant NDTom @ 36
November 28th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
48
UgasTexan says:
Hey Tater: if the guy is so worried about how young people are treated at Alabama’s colleges and universities, then perhaps he should get on the House Education committee? As far as I can tell, he’s a member with NO committee assignments. Perhaps if he were involved in appropriations of some sort, folks at AU would pay more attention???
Or is this all because he went to Bama?
November 28th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
49
Tater Salad says:
Ugas-
Alabama politics at it’s best, worst, and usual.
I noticed the no committee thing too when I looked the guy up. I have no idea what he went to Bama for, he’s got about 6 different schools listed.
Regardless of where he went to school, I haven’t heard many positive things about the guy, and this current situation is laughable at best, but more sad than anything. And the rest of the nation sits back and thinks, “Yep. That’s about right.”
November 28th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
50
NDTom says:
@46 I figured as much. The pile of pork chop sandwiches slathered in cheese and wrapped in roast beef he had for lunch confused me just a bit.
November 28th, 2007 at 12:55 pm