CURIOUS INDEX, 11/28/07
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Les to worry about for Michigan (abominable puns being his chief gift to college football copy writers) as with Kirk Ferentz out, the job searchlight focuses directly on the beaming white skittle of Les Miles’ hat. Miles is still mumming about the question and instead pawning the press off with stories of his daughter, who evidently takes no shit from dad when it comes to losses. After the shattering defeat, Miles said no less an authority than his youngest daughter, Macy Grace, told him, “Dad, I’m mad at you because you lost.” Miles said he tried to reason with the tot, letting her know he “was still the same Dad,” and trying to make her understand blood is thicker than scoreboards. In addition to Miles occasional mismanagement of the clock, this should concern Michigan fans even more. Scoreboards are made of steel, metal, and diodes, all clearly thicker than weak, watery blood! This leaves the only other serious contenders for the Michigan job–after two interviews with assistants Mike Debord and Ron English–as Brian Kelly and, in the random possible stack…Jeff Tedford? That’s just something pulled straight from the crazy idea box, but it’s out there. Michigan would have no problem with stadiums built on a faultlines or hippies in the trees, since Ted Nugent is legally allowed to shoot on sight anyone he chooses in the state and have them prepped and ready for the grill in 15 minutes. Tastes like patchouli and lentils, brother! Rice’s band continued the tradition of private school excellence in band snark by staging an entire halftime show around the treachery of Tulsa coach Todd Graham’s departure from Baylor for his current job, following a fictional search for Graham through the circles of hell and passing Dennis Franchione along the way. Really, the entire thing validated itself with the unnecessary and superb jab at Franchione; however, it rocketed into new territory with its ending. You know, that reminds me of a joke: A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. Now, I forgot how the rest of it went, but I think in the end Todd Graham is a douchebag. Tulsa reacted as we big, burly, super-tough Americans do: they filed a complaint. FUCK YEAH! Randy Shannon is reinstating the Miami standard by This week’s to-do list is up at the Sporting News. TRADITION! Please give Joel the hits he so richly deserves by checking his full explanation of how the Vols managed to wobble their way into the title game, but we’ll go ahead and with his permission bite the Youtube he put together of Tennessee’s Fiddler on the Roof act to get them there. Phil Fulmer dancing with a mule is involved.
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25
Back in the 1980s when Doug Wilder was governor of Virginia, he took up with the former-burlesque-star ex-wife of one of UVA’s big-time donors. Wilder got into some hot water for letting her fly around in State Police helicopters for various errands, but it didn’t stop him from squiring her to a UVA-VT game one year.
Anyway, at halftime, the UVA “scramble band” told an off-color joke about Wilder’s consort and played “The Stripper,” and Wilder nearly had them booted off of campus. Oddly enough, though, they didn’t get axed for good until their controversial anti-West-Virginia halftime show in the Continental Tire Bowl a few years back.
Comment by Doug — November 28, 2007 @ 11:14 am
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Oh! For the days of the good ole SWC!!! The MOB has been reduced to ridiculing the likes of Tulsa. Too easy! Cocktails to the MOB: just go straight to Valhalla and tell em UgasTexan is buying the rounds of 50 cent Shiners for all 25 of you.
@ 19: Didn’t take lawya long to find Mom and convince her that the gubment got some money, eh? And the “legislator,” you think he’s a lawya too?
Comment by UgasTexan — November 28, 2007 @ 11:13 am
23
The Mob made fun of UT’s program when we played Rice back in September? Maybe October. Anyway, there were a few scattered boos, but for the most part, people loved the show?this included the UT fans. We are big enough to take a joke about ourselves. Too bad Tulsa isn’t. And sometimes the truth hurts.
Maybe the references to great literature were lost on Tulsa…do they even read Dante?
Comment by UTEx — November 28, 2007 @ 11:12 am
22
11
Best I witnessed in person was the old UVA Pep Band (dismantled by that a-hole Algroh) at Clempson. They formed a tank and lit a smoke bomb, while the announcer said, “Warning Clempson Fans, USC has purchased a new septic tank and plans on attacking you with it as soon as they figure out how to drive it”.
That was followed up w/ them spelling “DED” and saying “uh-oh, looks like we don’t have too many English majors in the band this year, but what do Judge Bork’s Supreme Court nomination & Judge Crater have in common?”
Comment by yoyofutbawl — November 28, 2007 @ 11:12 am
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I also found this ad hilarious- run buy a prominent Alabama jeweler the week of the Iron Bowl. The owner, an outspoken Alabama grad, later admitted “it may have gone a bit farther than we intended.”
http://www.thebarner.com/BrombergsAU.pdf
Comment by Terry Tate, Office Linebacker — November 28, 2007 @ 11:10 am
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By the way, that racist dog? Being sued by the player’s mom. Fantastic. As always, no idea how to post a link, but you can copy and paste this one:
http://decaturdaily.com/stories/620.html
Also, an Alabama legislator looks like he will be suing AU because he did not receive tickets to the Iron Bowl and the accompanying parking pass. Just nice to know we have our priorities in order.
Comment by Tater Salad — November 28, 2007 @ 11:00 am
19
100 cocktails to the MOB! (Though one suspects they consumed at least that many before taking the field.)
Comment by DevilGrad — November 28, 2007 @ 10:59 am
18
“Kelly cannot issue denials often enough or emphatically enough”
nick saban thinks you’re being pretty damn naive.
Comment by gerry dorsey — November 28, 2007 @ 10:55 am
17
What a testimony to Randy Shannon’s commitment to education. We’d hate to see incompetent players get a college degree. Perhaps their parents will scrape together the tuition for this vastly overpriced institution.
Comment by WWJD — November 28, 2007 @ 10:54 am
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I have a dog named Macy Grace (listed on her registration papers that way) that’s a little older than Les’ daughter. I have not yet decided what this all means, but I’m sure it’s not a coincidence.
Comment by Because They Can — November 28, 2007 @ 10:49 am
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And I just realized I’m the jackass of the decade.
Play on.
Comment by Steve — November 28, 2007 @ 10:49 am
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pssst…OhioDawg….Brian Kelly reassured us all last year that he was about to sign an extension with Central as well….
Comment by Jerkwheat — November 28, 2007 @ 10:46 am
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Ok, I realize it’s a bit cliche’d and played out by now, by I laughed my fucking ass of at this.
http://www.jasanders.com/images/ironbowlposter2.jpg
Comment by Steve — November 28, 2007 @ 10:46 am
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yo-yo @ #5: Hard to top that, true. But I’ll try.
Back in the ’70s, the Aggie bitch mascot died during the season. The Marching Owl Band played “Where O Where Has My Little Dog Gone” at halftime of the A&M game - IN College Station. A riot ensued.
Todd Graham had to know that the MOB was going to go after him - and it was not going to be nice - after he left for Tulsa, a conference rival. He’s upset by douchebag? The truth often hurts.
Comment by beast in 'bama — November 28, 2007 @ 10:43 am
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Brian Kelly is NOT a candidate for any job other than his current position with Cincinnati. I’m in cincy and Kelly cannot issue denials often enough or emphatically enough. One year isn’t enough.
If both of these comments remind you of Dantonio’s situation then you’re probably in Cincinnati also.
Leave Kelly alone!
Comment by OhioDawg — November 28, 2007 @ 10:41 am
10
hfs,
fuck you very much for beating me to the haley lafontaine punch.
on another note, is it a coincidence that around the time miami bans guns at their facility, they start to suck?? i think not.
Comment by gerry dorsey — November 28, 2007 @ 10:40 am
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Let’s see……small, closely knit, very pious community, seemingly stuck in a different era……
it seems that the deep south not so different than a turn of the century eastern european shtetl after all……
Comment by Chips O'Toole — November 28, 2007 @ 10:39 am
8
God, that film was depressing.
Comment by SunDawg — November 28, 2007 @ 10:34 am
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“Scoreboards are made of steel, metal, and diodes, all clearly thicker than weak, watery blood!”
I was very confused for approximately 4 minutes because I didn’t think dildos had anything to do with scoreboards.
Comment by Crapass — November 28, 2007 @ 10:29 am
6
The Rice band story didn’t make sense until I realized that Baylor was a typo. I thought maybe Texas schools were just really sensitive to coach infidelity amongst their ranks.
Comment by PW — November 28, 2007 @ 10:28 am
5
Back in 1970-71 or so, the Stanford Band formed male & female sex symbols, with the male chasing the female all over the field while playing “I Can”t Get No Satisfaction.”
On national TV, no less. Hard to top that (sorry for the pun).
Comment by yoyofutbawl — November 28, 2007 @ 10:27 am
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Rice was probably more pissy about Graham’s departure from Rice rather than his non-departure from Baylor
Comment by Jerkwheat — November 28, 2007 @ 10:25 am
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Iron cage… deadly weapons… cheering, bloodthirsty crowd…
Two girls enter… one girl leaves…
Hayley Lafontaine vs. Macy Grace Miles… who survives? And who plays the role of Aunty Entity?
Comment by HFS — November 28, 2007 @ 10:24 am
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Sporting News link, please.
Comment by PW — November 28, 2007 @ 10:22 am
1
another Fran stab…
let it go dude… he’s gone.
Comment by cjjags — November 28, 2007 @ 10:17 am