Bloodbath does not describe it: this year 12 coaches have been canned in all, leaving behind a trail of tears, moving vans, and discarded coffee makers and dry-erase boards unseen since the great de-coachening of 2002.

It brought to mind one scene and on scene only: a vision of violence and force so appalling it almost earned the now-retired X rating, a demonstration of primitive, pre-CGI prosthetic and blood hydraulics so obviously fake and awesome it set the bar for an entire generation of young gorehounds…a depiction of oiled Austrian rage bent on saving the only thing that really mattered to America, Alyssa Milano…yet another example that the only qualification for being a movie henchman is to shoot wildly from the hip and possess zero ability to react to your situation…

Yes, we’re thinking of the shed scene from Commando, the most awesome of awesome scenes from a movie packed to the gills with steroidal excellence. And right now, the demands of war-painted fanbases are speaking with ze thickest of akk-scents und doing ze keeehling, mah freund.

Standing ovation to LSUFreek, who put this together at our behest. ONE HUNDRED COCKTAILS to you, sir.