CURIOUS INDEX, 11/26/07
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The moon has now completely turned blood red as the approach to the apocalypse continues: Missouri is now your consensus number 1 in the AP poll following their defeat of the Kansas Jayhawks Saturday night. How do you celebrate a decisive victory ending with a humiliating sack? Nu-metal-backed highlights, comin’ atcha! If you can’t tell if a band is a Christian rock band on the first five seconds of listening, they suck. Viva la Youtube volume control–the plays are impressive enough without the 12 year old anger management soundtrack in the background. Minnesota head coach Tim Brewster really wants you to write something positive. Because he’s out there recruiting hard, and because he wants the media out there recruiting hard for Minnesota, too. Just a thought, you know, guys. An article in this newspaper’s Nov. 14 sports section reported that a former University of Minnesota cross-country coach addressed football coach Tim Brewster’s weekly news conference and “implored the media to be more positive” and “help us recruit.”What can you media members do about recruiting? Anything that is negative hurts us. It hurts us in volleyball. It hurts us in softball. Hurts in track and field. Hurts us at the gate. … Que? Brewster’s attempt to propagandize the Minnesota media fell flat with local reporters, including Star-Tribune reporter Lou Gelfland, who suggests that in the future when the Minnesota football program has an issue with media coverage, “those in charge should have left public relations matters to the professionals.” Tim Tebow broke his non-throwing hand in the game versus Florida State when he scored a rushing TD in the third quarter in the 45-12 defeat versus Florida State in the 45-12 defeat versus Florida State in the 45-12 defeat of Florida State. (Sorry. It just got good to us.) Sonny Lubick, one of college football’s most venerable coaches, is likely out with a buyout at Colorado State. The winningest coach in CSU history leaves following a 3-9 season and is expected to retire following the coaching shakeout. F is for Ferentz. Hide the bleach if you live with a Michigan fan. Kirk Ferentz may already be the next Michigan head coach. Egads. More on this later, but when you run your football program like a Communist state, the Politburo doesn’t have to explain who they hire, or why, no matter how obvious the reason may be: because Kirk Ferentz is the Mac version of Lloyd Carr. He’s more accessible, a bit shinier, but really just the same thing in different packaging. If you loved Brezhnev, you’ll love Yuri Andropov! We mean, Carr and Ferentz!
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1
Sad Panda says:
Man, if Ferentz is the next U-M coach, I know where you can get some season tickets, cheap.
November 26th, 2007 at 10:08 am
2
OhioDawg says:
It can’t be true that UM is hiring Ferentz. Much as I’d like it, that just cannot be true.
And why is Mangino’s name not in any of these discussions? Granted they got their ass handed to them in the big game, but taking Kansas that far – even in a weak Big 12 – is impressive. I’m sensing some discrimination here. Shameless obeseism!
November 26th, 2007 at 10:09 am
3
Scalz1 says:
FERENTZ, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!
November 26th, 2007 at 10:12 am
4
gerry dorsey says:
what a letdown hire ferentz would be. michigan and the aggies are really looking to inject some excitment into their programs.
November 26th, 2007 at 10:13 am
5
Futbawl Fan says:
does the Michigan job come with a free lifetime supply of kittens?
November 26th, 2007 at 10:15 am
6
doubtingthomas says:
Like Hank Hill said about Christian Rock, “You’re not making Christianity better, son, you’re making Rock and Roll worse.”
November 26th, 2007 at 10:17 am
7
PW says:
There are maybe only 2 or 3 coaches out there who would be “exciting” hires. With the large number of jobs that are becoming available, there will likewise be a large number of “Meh” hires.
November 26th, 2007 at 10:17 am
8
Mr Pelican Pants says:
How can Michigan afford this guy?
He is like the 3rd Highest paid coach behind Saban, Stoops, etc……They can afford Ferentz and cant afford Miles? Urban Meyer thinks that decision is harsh….
November 26th, 2007 at 10:19 am
9
Mr Pelican Pants says:
I think a rock band name “Ferentz Ferdinand” would be in order
November 26th, 2007 at 10:20 am
10
Mr Pelican Pants says:
For the record, Tim Tebow will be the spokesman for Radio Shack……since he was built there, why not?
I hate freakin CYBORGS…….and their titanium skeletal structure….he’s either that or a mutant, and I hate them too…
November 26th, 2007 at 10:28 am
11
DevilGrad says:
Re #2: Perhaps, but I don’t think I’d spend $5-10 million of booster money on a guy whose health is such that he isn’t even an insurable risk with a key-man policy.
November 26th, 2007 at 10:29 am
12
panhandler says:
5th grade poli-sci joke from 1982: “Why don’t you go over to a cliff…. ANDROPOV?”
November 26th, 2007 at 10:29 am
13
Raider Red says:
It’s not that Michigan can’t afford Mr Hat…they just don’t want a coach who lost to Boss Hogg.
November 26th, 2007 at 10:31 am
14
Will says:
I hope that Ferentz goes to Michigan. He’s just the man to drive a stake through the heart of that program, to prevent it from ever rising again as a serious contender.
November 26th, 2007 at 10:36 am
15
Biggus Rickus says:
I know Iowa has slipped some, but the guy did win 10 games a couple of times without the kind of talent he can bring into Michigan. He could actually be a decent hire.
November 26th, 2007 at 10:40 am
16
Mr Pelican Pants says:
F at
U nderachieving
C oach@
K ansas
November 26th, 2007 at 10:41 am
17
PW says:
where do you get underachieving?
November 26th, 2007 at 10:47 am
18
suicidewatch says:
actually i just got offered the Michigan job. i’m planning on using texas tech’s playbook from NCAA 2008 and just asking Corso every single down which plays we should run. i’m thinking 0-12 is a real possibilty. gotta tear it down to build it back up.
November 26th, 2007 at 10:48 am
19
Rival says:
Christian Rock-esque is a good way to describe Kansas football this year.
Sure it sounds like real rock/football. It may even look like real rock/football.
But deep down it’s just disappointing crap.
November 26th, 2007 at 11:00 am
20
Mr Pelican Pants says:
well it aint undereating, undernourished,underrated
and Overachieving or overrated would spell FOCK
Underachieving may not work in reality, but it works in my failed attempt at ironic comedy
November 26th, 2007 at 11:02 am
21
TP says:
http://www.ajc.com/sports/content/sports/gatech/stories/2007/11/26/adspeak_1127.html
there goes the CGE 7-5 is quite fitting to end his career
November 26th, 2007 at 11:03 am
22
ehrenb2 says:
Reliable sources on GT boards are reporting that Chan is officially gone.
GT has called a press conference at 2 PM EST to (presumably) make the announcement.
November 26th, 2007 at 11:03 am
23
ehrenb2 says:
Also, the hot rumor for his (probable) replacement is Will Muschamp, the DC at Auburn. He played for UGA, so it is definitely a “maybe”. The AD wants to move quickly, and is rumored to already know who he wants.
November 26th, 2007 at 11:06 am
24
Biggus Rickus says:
I would looooove it if Georgia Tech hired Muschamp. He couldn’t keep us under 30 at Auburn. Can’t wait to see what he does with Tech’s players.
November 26th, 2007 at 11:09 am
25
NativeSon says:
I recommend Gary Danielson for the UM head coach position – Defensive Coord. at the very least. The guy seems to be able to predict a considerable percentage of any given Offense’s playcalls, and comes complete with a goofy sidekick, ala Coach Hayden Fox and his Luther. Hilarity ensues (or continues, depending on where your allegiances lie).
November 26th, 2007 at 11:10 am
26
Doug says:
Wow, this is certainly turning into Underwhelming Hires Week, sponsored by Applebee’s and the 2008 Chrysler Sebring.
What’s next? Dubose to Ole Miss, since his guys almost snuffed out that 15-lateral Trinity play? Wannstedt out at Pittsburgh, Kotite in?
November 26th, 2007 at 11:11 am
27
Mosby says:
@21:
Our long institutional nightmare is over.
November 26th, 2007 at 11:19 am
28
Mr Pelican Pants says:
There has got to be a Flow Chart or a Probability Theorem in this coaching change season….sheesh, I’ve been watching the show “Numbers” for too long….
November 26th, 2007 at 11:21 am
29
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Well then that makes LLoyd Carr patient Zero when starting the Coaching Change Domino Shell game thingy, one gets knocked down, another falls in its place, around and around it goes, where it stops, nobody knows………guess Manginos weight for 5 dollars,plus or minus the gravitational pull…..he has to stay in the midwest, his affect on tides on the coast would be detrimental…… step right up…..
November 26th, 2007 at 11:25 am
30
Nick says:
+ 1 @ #25, Rich Kotite needs to be on one of these AD’s radar.
November 26th, 2007 at 11:26 am
31
Brian says:
I was hoping we (GT) might be able to steal away Edsall from Uconn or something.
November 26th, 2007 at 11:30 am
32
GTSteve says:
Chan is out? I think I just came a little…
On an unrelated note, I’m a little confused on how Mizzou leaped over the Running Cheetahmen of Coal Miner U in the BCS polls. Did they not see what WVU did to UConn?
November 26th, 2007 at 11:31 am
33
gosouthgohard says:
Well, you won’t have old Chan to kick around anymore.
November 26th, 2007 at 11:32 am
34
Mr Pelican Pants says:
#32
Yeh, Uconn….dont put alot of stock in that…same way with Kansas……WVU played vs South Fla, the closest thing to a decent matchup, they knocked out Pat White, and just like Oregon, they were not the same, and South Fla won before the Jen Sturger curse set in….
IF I am a Def-Coordinator….I put out a hit on Pat Whites thigh….knock him out the game, WVU crumbles…instant win for the MNC game..somehow tOSU retires while everyone else seems to play their 3 tuffest games, what a shitty way to get into the MNC game again and get whacked again…..
November 26th, 2007 at 11:35 am
35
Biggus Rickus says:
Also, why is Paul Johnson’s name not mentioned in any of these job searches? The guy is winning at GOD DAMNED NAVY! He’d be perfect for Tech: ties to Georgia, utilizes undersized athletes at QB, understands how to coach at a school with recruiting deficiencies. I hope they don’t hire him, because I think he could actually pull off big things there, but if I was a Tech fan I’d be clamoring for him.
November 26th, 2007 at 11:38 am
36
Gurn says:
Pelican Pants ought to know about “underachieving.”
$4 million bucks for a 6-6 year, with a loss to ULM thrown in for good measure.
Hey, Pelican: Six, sweetie. Enjoy the coming year.
November 26th, 2007 at 11:39 am
37
ehrenb2 says:
@35:
PJ is well-compensated at Navy, and has no real desire to leave by all reports…if we could get him it would be a major coup.
November 26th, 2007 at 11:42 am
38
UgasTexan says:
#32: Did you not know that UConn sucks?
November 26th, 2007 at 11:43 am
39
Coop says:
I think it is now obvious, as if it wasn’t before, that the stodgy uppities at Michigan wanted no part of Les Miles.
To them he is only a Michigan man at face value.
The thing is he was too stupid not to recognize that before he made all those dumbass non-answers at his pressers regarding Michigan. He should have just tattooed a “M” on his forehead while saying, “we are just going to drop it for the time being.”
And, if you are a LSU fan, how would that make you feel? Here you are, a game away for securing a BCS championship game bid, especially since Tennessee beat Kentucky, and your head man is crying over the Michigan job in public?
I don’t know, call me crazy, but were I LSU, I would want my coaches to at least put up a reasonable front that Baton Rouge is the job for me.
LSU is so lucky to have “the Hat,” and his annual 9-2 to 10-2 regular season record.
Hell, I could have coached that team to 11-1, which is probably what I am also saying about Clemson right now, even though I have never put on a pair of Bike shorts in my life.
Those of you who played high school, or at least middle school, football will get the last line.
November 26th, 2007 at 11:48 am
40
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Gurn,
Payback is a bitch. Trust me, there wont be any kneeling on the goal line..Live it up it wont last long…We will get to 9 in a row faster than you after spotting you 6…..Lets see, Tubberville has had his team for the last 8 yrs? Where is your national championship? in the past 20 yrs? He is the best 8-4, 7-5 coach out there, just cant seem to get to the big dance…seems to win big games while dropping little games…You will get all the hype if he stays there for the MNC next year, except you wont get past Georgia in a blow out, again……plus letting Alabama pick up more than half of the top 20 4 star recruits in state, we hope he stays at Auburn, and we’ll start cuttin fingers off…after we clean house….2009….Alabama dont matter right now, but we get more press for some reason…If Auburn lets Tubs leave, they are shooting themselves in both feet, then going hunting with Dick Cheney…..
November 26th, 2007 at 11:51 am
41
robert says:
Does this mean that Sean Connery defects with a rusted out U-boat to Ohio State?
November 26th, 2007 at 11:55 am
42
GTSteve says:
*Chan steps up to the podium wearing his usual Georgia Tech garb. A little microphone feedback, and the room full of reporters gets quiet.*
Chan: Well, folks, I guess you all know why I’m here. We’ve had a good run here, but I guess it’s just time to move on. Shucks, fellas, I’m gonna miss all this. The insane circus wins at the last minute, the crippling losses to sub-par opponents, calling my favorite play six times in a row.
*Chan opens up a bag of Werther’s Originals and pops one in his mouth*
I think I’m gonna miss the players the most. Ol’ Reuben was such a stand-up guy, and Reggie, what a go-getter. Yeah sure, he didn’t have the “stats” or the “leadership” or the “academics” you’d expect from a four year starter, but he was in every play. You never quite knew what he was gonna do, but you knew it would cause excitement.
*Another Werther’s Original*
There were just a few things I just couldn’t get while I was here. Why did Jon have to yell at his players when they didn’t do something right? Cut the kids a break, you know? They’re young, and they make mistakes. We should just let them learn from their mistakes, like Taylor. That boy is going to be so good at not underthrowing his receivers by five yards when he gets all that out of his system! Now that’s successful coaching right there.
But if you ask me what my favorite part of coaching at Georgia Tech was, it wasn’t crushing Calvin Johnson’s hopes for a Heisman Trophy by saddling him with a terrible quarterback, or watching Tashard Choice make a twenty yard gain out of the third iso left play I called in a row, or even making Jon’s defense look incompetent in games where we’d have twenty minutes time of possession. It was meeting a kindred spirit like Dave Braine. The man just understood how to run an athletic association. The expensive new stadium renovations, signing me to an overpriced contract with an expensive buy-out clause and generally declaring that my calibre of coaching was perfectly acceptable at a school with such rigorous academic standards.
Sure, ol’ George O’Leary was a pretty good coach, but where’s the integrity? Where’s the mentoring? I think I did a better job coaching PEOPLE with Reggie and Taylor than he ever did with Joe Hamilton or George Godsey. But I guess Dan just cares about “winning” and “getting money from the alumni”. I can understand him, but that don’t mean I agree with him.
Ladies, gentlemen, it’s been a pleasure. Now I’m gonna go to my rural home, sit on my front porch, and whittle.
*Another Werther’s Original*
November 26th, 2007 at 11:57 am
43
Gurn says:
Hey, Pelican Pants:
1. Why haven’t you updated your blog?
2. We’ve been hearing that kinda talk (”Just you wait, Barners…”) for, oh, I dunno….SIX years now.
3. SIX.
4. UL Monroe.
5. Hah.
6.
November 26th, 2007 at 11:57 am
44
Biggus Rickus says:
Mr. Pelican Pants,
I hate to jump into a flame war between Bama guys, but Auburn is three years removed from a perfect season that they followed with 11 and 10-win seasons. Personally, I think Tubbs is a better coach than Saban, and I seriously doubt Bama will win more than two in a row while he’s there.
November 26th, 2007 at 11:59 am
45
tOSU_radar says:
Nickelback is a Christian Rock band? Who knew…
November 26th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
46
sevenDs says:
Mr.PelicanPants, is payback a bitch? Remember that nine game streak in the 1970s and how your fans gloated. Remember the Bahr calling us that “Cow College”. How about the quote, “Every time the NCAA comes to Tuscaloosa, Auburn goes on probation.” Now that the state goverment isn’t in your back pocket and your good ‘ol boy network has died off, you are receiving the payback you so richly deserve.
And you sure carry a lot of hate for Auburn seeing as how we’re not hat important to you. Surely you’re more upset about UT making the SEC championship game than Nick Saban being 2-4 against Tubs.
Maybe you can tell how payback feels since you seem to be an expert on receiving it.
November 26th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
47
El Hombre says:
Yes, Nickelback is Christian.
And I might add that those are not the good Mizzou highlights up on YouTube. There’s a guy who always posts good highlight videos (dchescher94, as you can clearly see), although he does make the sin of using a good bit of nu-metal.
November 26th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
48
Crabs says:
Ppants -
The $32 Million coach – who we are constantly being reminded we should fear – just took a 6-6 team to…..well……..6-6.
Call me crazy, but shouldn’t you see imoprovement over the course of a season in a team led by such a great coach?
“S” the Coach should be replaced by “R” the Refund.
November 26th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
49
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Well last time I checked, perfect seasons dont equal National Championships, ask Terry Bowden…he may be going to Ole Miss….
Probations a bitch, thus we saw why Fran left so quick…..in case you didnt notice, we havent had any “million dollar players” (NFL drafted players who actually start in the NFL) since Brodie class of players left, Fran saw that talent level drop off was pretty steep, and bailed since he couldnt fully recruit…Shula took the hit…and instilled a non chalant “ride out the storm” kinda attitude that still resides but will be gone, and the benefactor of this was Tuberville from a rival standpoint…hell there are players that wanted to play for Bama and went to Auburn,but due to scholarship restrictions, we cant blame em…
Who has the most talent in the SEC? LSU….for the last 3 yrs has put more pure talent in the NFL with more bank than anyother SEC school, but has yet to bring back any hardware since Saban left….Wrong or right?
The difference between Auburn and Alabama is that we now have a coach that has won a MNC and has put year after year of talent at his last school that found a way to lose and underperform.. this should tell you how weak the recruiting has been the past 4-5 yrs…
Alabama has over 20 seniors, and only 4-5 contribute..
watch how many LSU players go pro, then look at the rest of the SEC…Hell Auburn sucked without Brad Lester, imagine how they would have done without Lester + 4 others……..starters with no depth and you get the ULM result, Auburn lost one starter and got Croomed as well, and South Fla beat em…oh , and K-State, who knew?
November 26th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
50
D-nice says:
But is Nickelback a “Christian Rock Band” or a regular rock band with Christians in it (of which there have been many) who still sing about money, sex, drugs, whores. The difference is pretty big.
November 26th, 2007 at 12:52 pm