The moon has now completely turned blood red as the approach to the apocalypse continues: Missouri is now your consensus number 1 in the AP poll following their defeat of the Kansas Jayhawks Saturday night. How do you celebrate a decisive victory ending with a humiliating sack? Nu-metal-backed highlights, comin’ atcha!

If you can’t tell if a band is a Christian rock band on the first five seconds of listening, they suck. Viva la Youtube volume control–the plays are impressive enough without the 12 year old anger management soundtrack in the background.

Minnesota head coach Tim Brewster really wants you to write something positive. Because he’s out there recruiting hard, and because he wants the media out there recruiting hard for Minnesota, too. Just a thought, you know, guys.

An article in this newspaper’s Nov. 14 sports section reported that a former University of Minnesota cross-country coach addressed football coach Tim Brewster’s weekly news conference and “implored the media to be more positive” and “help us recruit.”What can you media members do about recruiting? Anything that is negative hurts us. It hurts us in volleyball. It hurts us in softball. Hurts in track and field. Hurts us at the gate. …

Que? Brewster’s attempt to propagandize the Minnesota media fell flat with local reporters, including Star-Tribune reporter Lou Gelfland, who suggests that in the future when the Minnesota football program has an issue with media coverage, “those in charge should have left public relations matters to the professionals.”

Tim Tebow broke his non-throwing hand in the game versus Florida State when he scored a rushing TD in the third quarter in the 45-12 defeat versus Florida State in the 45-12 defeat versus Florida State in the 45-12 defeat of Florida State. (Sorry. It just got good to us.)
Tebow’s optimistic about playing in the likely Capitol One bowl game against–oh, life, you win again–the Illinois Fightin’ Illini, coached by [NAME REDACTED].

Sonny Lubick, one of college football’s most venerable coaches, is likely out with a buyout at Colorado State. The winningest coach in CSU history leaves following a 3-9 season and is expected to retire following the coaching shakeout.

F is for Ferentz. Hide the bleach if you live with a Michigan fan. Kirk Ferentz may already be the next Michigan head coach. Egads. More on this later, but when you run your football program like a Communist state, the Politburo doesn’t have to explain who they hire, or why, no matter how obvious the reason may be: because Kirk Ferentz is the Mac version of Lloyd Carr. He’s more accessible, a bit shinier, but really just the same thing in different packaging. If you loved Brezhnev, you’ll love Yuri Andropov! We mean, Carr and Ferentz!