Oh, you mad copy editors you. Chris Fowler makes an abominable (and therefore admirable) pun in an on-air segment with Pat Forde during Gameday Saturday.

The extra spice comes from him saying it twice: “BUSTS in there, BUSTS up…that’s Houston Nutt, BUSTING in there. I said, NUTT is BUSTING…”

Every Day Should Be Lemsday has Coach O’s farewell speech. Da rebbah done madeah bigassah mistakeah!

Every series ends. Sometimes they involve 3.5 million dollar payouts.

Frank Broyles: Houston Dale, we need to talk.

Houston Dale Nutt: GIGGITY! WHOO-WHEE GIGGITY!!! TARBLANG FANGDAMUS!!!! PIG PIG PIG!!!!

Frank Broyles: You’re getting fired, Houston. Do you understand that?

Houston Dale Nutt: FAHHARRD UP! YESSSS AH AAHHHHHM WOOOO GALLLGIGGITY I AM!!!

FB: No, just the regular kind of fired.

Houston Dale Nutt: GOTSTA CLEEAN OUT MAH HOGPIT?

FB: If by that, you mean your office…well, yes.

HDN: NO, AH MEAN MAH HOGPIT UNDAH THA STADYUM, WHERE I FIGHT PIGS FOR MUN-AAAHHHYYY AND FILM IT FOR THE ENJOH-MUNT AH THE PEOPLE WOOOOO PIG PIG PIG!!!!

FB: You fight pigs for money?

HDN: FLABBERTY-JABBITY, I FIGHT ‘EM FO LOVE, OL’ FRANKIE-TANKIE! THE MONEY MEANS NOTHIN’ TO ME, SINCE THE OOOOOOOOOO-SQUEALIE OF THE FIGHT IS ALL AH NEED!!! VIDEO EVIDENCE WOULD BE A SHAME IF IT GOT OUT, TREE-GUNDAMUS BANGFLINDAMUS WOOO!!!

FB: Perhaps a settlement is in order here. To keep things…amicable.

HDN: HAHHHAAAA BOSNAPPETTY STRAPPETTY BUTTSNIFF!!! AH CAN’T WAIT FUH MAH PAYOUT! IN EUROS PLEASE–GAY MONEY’S WORTH MORE NOW, BUT AHM TAKIN’ IT BECAUSE I’M WILY LIKE A PIG, JIB-GRABBETY JUPITER-TOOPITER! I’D WEAR HOT PANTS MADE OF EUROS IF YAH MADE UP FLATTAH MAH PANTS HAWG!

(Translation: Nutt’s fired with a $3.5 million “settlement.” )

(Additional translation: Nutt may be headed to Georgia Tech with much haste, per Rivals rumors.)

The Day of the Long pen-Knives continues as resignation letters and “sources” chirp away.

Jeff Bower, longtime Southern Miss coach, is out after a 17 year tenure. SMQ, the blogosphere’s resident Golden Eagle fan, promises pending commentary. Our own input on the situation is that coaches with a 17-year run of taking a mid-size football program in Hattiesburg, Mississippi to bowl games are rare, and should be kept as long as possible. Unless they’ve pulled the coup of the century and are prepared to announce Nick Saban as their new coach, they have misjudged their human resource situation gravely.

Ted Roof, Duke coach, is fired after six wins in his entire four year tenure as Duke coach. Coach K thinks they should only field sports in which they will be competitive, because you know what a drain the football program’s been on the success of the Duke basketball team over the years.

Northern Illinois head coach Joe Novak is retiring, opening up another spot in the MAC. (HT: DevilGrad, who has nothing but nice things to say about Novak and his job putting the NIU program together from little more than old twine and hope.)

And finally, the next hammer to strike home will allegedly be Greg Robinson, Syracuse coach, who looks thrilled to be where he is right now.

About to sneeze. Please don’t ruin it. This is all I have left: sneeze-rush endorphines.

This week’s random notes and observations come to you, as always, from deep inside Pete Carroll’s Enchanted Gridiron Grotto. It’s champagne bath week in honor of the thumping of Arizona State, meaning that champagne is all we’re bathing in down here for a while, meaning a helluva ant problem is on the way pronto.

The Grotto this week is brought to you by Jared, who wants you to know that if you’re looking for a cheap whore detector, you can purchase a wide variety of them at your local Jared jeweler.

Last night, during EDSBS Live, the discussion board broke out with a long chain on the infamous dog of dubious pedigree that nipped Jerraud Powers, Auburn DB, in the waning minutes of the Iron Bowl. Elroy the Racist Dog, as we’ll now call him, elicited the following string of comments that had us barely able to continue the show:

That dog has Birth of a Nation on DVD

That dog doesn’t understand why Jimmy the Greek was fired.

Brent Schaeffer still looks, at each game, like a talented athlete attempting the quarterback position for the first time no matter how many games he’s actually played under center.

Nebraska’s defense would have allowed 35 points to Craig James’ flag football team.

He went to Jared to buy me some shiny fossilized carbon! God, you monkeys are so easily impressed. We can’t escape from these commercials. One on the radio this morning touted the best name for a pearl necklace we’ve ever heard: THE LADIES’ PEARLMASTER. It’s got a Hemi in it made from real lightning! REAL LIGHTNING!

Robert Killebrew again earned the Emily Post award for best etiquette displayed by a linebacker, courteously allowing Aggie defenders to run clean around him and his gentle, supportive tackle attempts all day long. He’s earned a spot in the hearts of Longhorn fans everywhere. A lesion, really, from stress and aggravation, one that may very well kill some of them one day in the distant future.

Kept waiting for someone to bare their breasts in the live shots from Baton rouge. Sadly, the only nudity seen during the game was Mike the Tiger lolling on his back in his cage. Full-frontal tiger penis action that got every Chinese pharmacist giddy with the thought of massive profit.

The Father-in-law notes that one of the Aggie cadets has an Eagle Scout badge on. (more…)

Chan Gailey, out at Georgia Tech per ESPN Radio. Chan Gailey himself offers up the best explanation of his firing by showing you and the crowd at Bobby Dodd the number of times he defeated Georgia.

On the surface of things, the Gailey firing appears to be a cold, dispassionate affair: Gailey never excited great positive emotion, and didn’t really generate it at the negative end either, content to not violate any of the laws of thermodynamics by keeping things at a nice, lukewarm non-boil for his tenure. 0-6 against Georgia is damning, though, as is the funereal feel at the Flats. The game we watched there against Virginia Tech earlier this month was as moribund a scene as one could possibly imagine: garbage blowing through empty seats in the third quarter, a hopeless offense begging to be removed from the field, and a collective sense of resignation settling in around the place.

As offensive coordinator John Bond’s wife allegedly said leaving the family booth after the loss to Georgia: “Well, it’s time to get packing.”

Mike Sherman always seemed like a decent enough coach in the pros. He was properly hippy in only the way a seconds-from-stroking-out, sleep-in-the-office pro coach should be, ran a ton of power formations, and got into a fight with Warren Sapp. (This last fact alone may be a good indicator of his worth as a human being.)

He is now the rebound date for Texas A&M, according to The Dallas Morning News, who reports that the former Packer head coach and current Houston Texans offensive coordinator will take the job in College Station in the wake of an EXCELSIOR! Dennis Franchione effort and his subsequent resignation on Friday.

Tommy Tuberville’s sudden disappearance from the campaign came down to ducats.

Tuberville has a $6 million buyout clause in his Auburn contract. A&M officials were not willing to pay that amount “just to talk to him,” the university source said. A&M would then have to pay even more to lure Tuberville to College Station.

The Aggies deciding to go the retread route is not shocking, especially when they’ve just bought out Franchione’s contract and have someone familiar who, even in the midst of what athletic director Bill Byrne called “a nationwide search,” just happened to be twirling a clipboard down the road in Houston. Be wary of confusing Sherman’s hiring with other NFL retread coaches, as well. He has the following upsides over the recent rash of middling to piddling NFL exiles finding solace in the breezy 70 hour work weeks of the college world:

1. Has college coaching experience at the school, so will respect the deep fabric of tradition at Texas A&M.

2. Not a bitter cyborg whiling away his time on earth until his robot masters come back from the future to rescue him. (Hello, Bill Callahan.)

3. Actually won quite a bit as a head coach and looked positively ept while doing so, unlike some mustachioed Pitt coaches.

4. Will likely not settle in at a stasis of 7-5 and rely on playbook consisting of 5 plays while going 0-fer life against major rival. (Hello, Chan Gailey.)

Dennis Franchione, having broken up with A&M on Friday, thinks this is positively trampy of the Aggies. He told as much in his newsletter, which we only pay 12 bucks a month now to read. He had a really nice Cobb Salad yesterday, by the way. Gotta get trim for the job hunt!

(HT: David W.)