CURIOUS INDEX, 11/20/2007

that’s the Institute of Obvious Studies.

Sadly, someone will get a Ph.D. based on it.

Hung’s not allowed to wear Cal gear. Those folks were the first to hear him sing.

Other events associated with heavy drinking for college students: Post-exam blowout, some dude buys kegs of beer, drink specials every night of the week at various bars.

Also, couldn’t Washington find a hat to fit William’s Downs-like melon? Give the man his dignity at least. Oh wait…

Since time immemorial, it has been tradition in the state of Florida that whenever the Gators have an exceptional player, the Semi — wait, we’re not supposed to say their name — anyway, THEY go outside the rules of the game to commit battery on that player in an effort to injure him. Their coaching staff, at minimum, turns a blind eye to it (aw, shucks, boys will be boys, dadgumit), but sometimes, like Mickey Andrews this year, they encourage it.

“Andrews was asked if he had a plan to stop Tebow.
“Yeah, but you get put into jail for it,’’ Andrews teased.”

I’m sure his plan involves hookers and blow, or perhaps kidnapping, and not intent to inflict bodily harm. Yeah, that’s it.

VIVA HATE!

Or maybe ankle twisting? Something like that happened to some Florida running back . . . oh yeah, Earnest Graham. Still bullshit to this day. I can’t wait for the 7 seconds later “accidental” late hit to Tebow’s knee.

You stay classy, FSU.

Darnell Dockett thinks Hayes’ quotes is " a bit harsh"

Darnell Dockett can die in a fire.

Rumor is that William Hung has been in training with Kobayashi. Sadly, William has not learned nor practiced the fine art of regurgitating said weenies, nor the fact that each and every lunch is not an actual competition. Perhaps an intervention is needed…

William, push away from the table my man.

I’m very disappointed that the Hung story did not include a YouTube clip.

I hate them SO MUCH… flames, on the side of my face… heathing, breathle-, heathing breaths…

I hate florida state. repeat infinity.

Graham isn’t the first guy to get grabbed in the pile. That’s football. The attempted stomp on Rexy’s ahnd probably should ahve set Spurrier off more.

The most egregious cheap shot in the series was Mo Mitchell taking out Bunkley’s knee from behind after the play in 02.

I think Florida shouldn’t worry about Geno Hayes, they should worry about finding anyone on the team who is healthy enough to play cornerback. Right now it looks like three undersized underclassman (two freshman and and a sophomore) against 6’5" Fagg and 6’6" Carr…. This game has me legitimately scared…

Oh yeah, and I spit at the TV last weekend during the Cardinals/Lions NFL game because Dockett plays for Arizona.

Orson, I think we’ve discovered your nemisis:
The child of Jen Sturger and Darnell Dockett.
The offspring would be something like Akira.

I saw a peanut stand, heard a rubber band,
I saw a needle that winked its eye.
But I think I will have seen everything
When I see an elephant fly

wait…what??

My favorite part of the Les Miles presser…

“Ar-Kansas”

Geno Hayes welcomes the tase, bro, because he’s felt pain far beyond what 5,000 volts can offer.

#4

Mickey has a plan, but in a terrible strategic mistake, he plans to stop Tebow with insider trading and speeding in construction zones.

We’re so boned.

I used to get all choked up for “Follow That Bird” with the sesame street characters.

Jeff Tedford may be a great coach (which the commentators ALWAYS remind us), but Cal has a tendency to start hot, finish cold, getting hopes up along the way.

In all fairness, Cal isn’t the only school who does this. But, when, for example, Clemson is 6-0, everyone smartly sees the writing on the wall and doesn’t start talking national champioship or BCS Bowl.

I get choked up when I watch the Green Mile…it is such a same for someone of that size not playing pro football…and being able to heal on the spot, he’d probaly play for the Patriots….
Did he sayTebow is going down? Really? Who doesnt know that? Not that there is anything wrong with that……

SHAME not SAME…wheres my damn coffee

De’ Cody Fagg is 6’5"?

Man, that’s a big Fagg.

{snicker}

The raw feed I saw of Miles’ presser was that someone slipped him some habenero taffy just before he was asked about the Michigan job.

7
Orson, I’ve got two tickets to Phoenix. We’ll be back in time for fava beans and a nice chianti. See you at the gate.

1. god willy hung got FAT.
2. darnell dockett can indeed die in a fire. ill never forget what he did to graham. one of my favorite gators while i was at uf

who the fuck cares about FSU. yeah, i hate them, but i hate a lot of things. they’re dirty people. they’re either the kids who wear “jncos” and polyester blend button down black shirts with dragons on the side…. or they look like one of john gotti jr’s crew.

disgusting, dirty, worthless people.

I also disagree with the analysis on college drinking. There are many great reasons to drink. I concur with #3, but need to add a few more.

You pass a test
You fail a test
You are studying for a test
You have a paper due in 3 hours
You pick up a hot girl
Said girl dumps you
You found an unopened bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 in the parking lot
You’re thirsty and all you have in the apartment is liquor and water

Just a few of the great reasons for college students to drink.

#25
I’ve got no dog in this fight, but:

“they’re dirty people. they’re either the kids who wear “jncos” and polyester blend button down black shirts with dragons on the side…. or they look like one of john gotti jr’s crew. "

As opposed to the Realtree and jort sporting people at good ’ol UF ?

Callahan threw his hat in the ring for the Michigan job.

1. - I agree

I think Cal sucks more now than when they really sucked because their suckage the last few years has been proceeded by undeserved hype and a fast start (and proclamations of guaranteed future championships from genius Tedford) followed by the realization that they actually suck pretty bad after all. Before they just sucked right off the bat, which I find less sucky over all. But you’re right about the Clemson comparison…nobody really buys it no matter how close they come to not sucking.

Speaking of “various eccentri” how about that Saban likening the UL-Monroe loss to “other” catastrophes, like, oh I don’t know, Pearl Harbor and 9/11?

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/football/ncaa/11/19/saban.tactics.ap/index.html

Just to throw this out there…

Fuck Auburn. Hate week!

Not conceding defeat, but you’ll likely enjoy number 6 this week.

On the bright side, it looks like Mr. Groves won’t be up against Chris “Lookout!” Capps. Should be Caldwell at RT, which should be interesting. That may slow the bloodletting.

Roll tide anyway, I’ll be pumping sunshine by Thursday I’m sure.

Keep it down home, cuzz

1. aren’t you like some big 10 apologist? what do you even know?

the jort insult gets thrown at florida from other SEC schools because of their history of not being able to beat us.

do we have fans who wear jorts? YEAP. but thats what happens when you have older, non alumni fans from Bradford, Gilchrist, and Levy county, Florida. you think i havent spotted georgia fans wearing jorts? tennessee? cmon.

i’m talking about the student body. and my assessment of fsu’s study body is pretty accurate. and then there’s jen sturgeon

Tater,

Well, you know, sometimes it takes something like 9/11, Pearl Harbor or a loss to ULM to prime the pump in relation to winning.

Seriously, I’d be very surprised if both teams didn’t come out ready to punch someone in the mouth. Should be a good game.

Apologist ? No. And, as I’ve stated, I have no dog in the fight.

My assessment of UF’s students is dead on.
Why ? Because I live in Florida, and have been to UF plenty of times. Or, the fact that a UF student, when the temp dips below 60, will wear jeans, sweatshirt, gloves, beanie hat, AND FLIP FLOPS. So, if I was a UF fan/student, I don’t think I would make the correlation between fashion and social stature.

32:

Was wondering when I’d see that pop up this morning. As soon as I heard those words I knew it was perfect fodder.

Probably not the best idea to use those references in a football presser. I personally wasn’t offended, because I understood his point, but that kind of language is probably better left to a speech to his players.

Anyone with half a brain knows he wasn’t equating PH or 9/11 with a loss in football. Won’t stop rival posters from being disingenuous and feigning offense. Or a reporter for the Huntsville Times that has his pants pulled down at the presser, for that matter…

Thanksgiving holiday dilemmas for a Tiger fan:
Miles might leave. Spurrier – that’s the hot rumor – might come.
LSU could play for a national championship. Humanity Advanced could derail that train easily on Friday.
An oil well fire has shut down I-10 west of Baton Rouge for the next two weeks. Traffic is already at a crawl on alternate routes. I can’t make my inlaws in Baton Rouge for Thankgiving. And I’ll have to leave 12 hours early to make the 1:30 p.m. ArKansas game on Friday.
The stress of this season is going to kill me. (Although missing the inlaws is some solice)

Zombie -

I understand the whole being in the pile thing, I had some deep gouges taken out of my arm in a game once. However, in a nationally televised game where you are obviously in the open and EVERYONE can see you twist his ankle, it’s not the same. It was akin to taking a shot on a QB two or three seconds late. It wasn’t your run-of-the-mill pile stuff.

How’s this for a vote of confidence for Chan the Man?

“We are asking for maximum effort and support from everyone associated with our program — our administration, Coach Gailey and his staff, our coaches and certainly our Georgia Tech fans.” – Tech AD.

Sounds like he is saying, don’t go out there and embarrass us.

i’m proud of our flip flops. wish i could wear them in ATL.

uf student body dresses well… for the most part. do we look like ole miss on game day? no, and thank god.

fsu’s student body looks one part anime-lover and one part piscataway new jersey. it’s really a horrific mix. they’re definitely the kids i hated in middle school and h.s. juvenile? yes. but when it comes to FSU there’s really nothing else to do

#36
“It was akin to taking a shot on a QB two or three seconds late.”

I’m already looking for that to happen at least twice this Saturday. Waiting for Vegas to post the over/under.

Sorry, #37.

Yes, but do the kids in the SEC dress faster than the Big 10?

William Hung?? Come on, that can’t be a real name.

Going all the way back to Dumbo? You cried about Cedric in the 4th Harry Potter movie.

Twenty years it took me to completely wipe that Godley & Creme video from my mind. Damn you Orson! Damn you to hell!

Niedermeyer? Dead! Tebow? Going down!

Are we really making generalizations about an entire student body’s wardrobe? As a UF grad and current FSU Law student, I really see no difference in the way people dress at the two institutions.

Can’t we just stick to “Bobby Bowden is old” and “FSU players are Criminals” and “FSU football is mediocre” jokes?

1. - Our GT AD is the man. Its true, I hope we don’t embarrass the shit out of ourselves this weekend after scraaaaaaping by over UNC last week.

I watched that Dumbo clip on YouTube a few weeks ago. That might be the saddest and most beautiful moment in film. I’ll gut anybody who says different.

PW, though I’m a double grad of UF, I’m still female. Which means I still should be inherently ashamed of myself… and still able to criticize even the most superficial of things, like wardrobes. So yes, on top of FSU’s general sucktitude, criminals, and the fact that it has a circus… I still think they dress ugly.

#39
You sure you wanna compare fan bases? I mean, really…

http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f66/megatha1/UFFan.jpg

Those whining about Earnest Graham – nobody seems to remember Clint Mitchell punching Weinke’s badly sprained ankle in 2000. Course, he was coked up at the time and may not have known what he was doing. At least Mitchell had some guts…which didn’t happen enough for Spurrier’s UF teams, and that’s why he had a losing record against FSU.

The fact that any Gator would comment about FSU’s student body is pretty laughable. You’re obivously ignoring a giant elephant in the room concerning your own. That being said, I do loathe a huge segment of our fanbase for acting and dressing like a bunch of classless idiots. One comment/observation I would like to make is very specific and only applies to UF fratboys: when you wear your sunglasses on crokies, the glasses are supposed to hang down on your chest, however you seem to think that the crokies are supposed to hang down, while you may think this looks cool, it is also fucking retarded. Why bother wearing crokies if your going to wrap your sunglasses around the back of your neck anyways?

Other reasons to drink heavily that happen more than once a year — in fact, happen 52 times a year.

Monday — drink heavily
Tuesday — drink heavily
Wednesday — drink heavily
Thursday — drink heavily
Friday — drink heavily
Saturday — drink heavily
Sunday — drink heavily

If that red headed kid is or ever was a UF student I’d be thrilled… I mean that too. That’d be great.

I don’t know from Crokies, but I do know every “fratboy” in the SEC looks alike, of course. From UF to Miss and everywhere in between. Big revelation there.

I think UT was also responsible for the study that found men and women rate attractiveness the most important factor in choosing a mate.

Brilliant!

#44:

What about Sirius in movie 5?

I spent some time in graduate school doing research in Florida and as an impartial observer I have to say that both UF and FSU have some very attractive student bodies. They both go in the elite class along with USC for me.

tOSU? Not so much, though of course there are very hot individuals everywhere.

And Callahan won’t get fired if he wins enough games on Friday to get into a BCS bowl.

1. - Whether we dress faster in the SEC is debatable, but certainly we ladies of the SEC can undress faster. Without that whole jeans, long underwear, sweatshirt, sneaker thing happening, I imagine we can be undressed faster than any Big Ten lady…

Speed where it counts, my friend.

@10

best movie quote ever.

1. Not having 20-40lbs of lard to get said sweaters around also helps with the speed

Thank God I escaped Seattle a couple weeks before William Hung arrived.

Gator AM #58,

Can’t get that Nelly song out of my head now. Your logic is as sexy as your sentiments.

Thank God I escaped Seattle a couple weeks before William Hung arrived.

GatorAM #58,

Can’t get that Nelly song out of my head now. Your logic is as sexy as your sentiments.

Apparently, I wasn’t kidding. I’m guilty of premature double posting.

1. Why do you think I live in Florida ?

Word……..