MARK MANGINO HAS NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BEAR

by Orson on Nov 16, 2007 2:04 PM EST

Sports By Brooks remains skeptical over the Kansas Jayhawks. This is a declarative sentence/value statement. It is also an excuse to post this picture.

Borat jokes may be a corrosive substance as rated by the Humor Society, but the similarity is striking. Kansas faces Iowa State this weekend, a game of great intrigue because the Iowa State Cyclones, after losing to D-1AA (and we'll never call it the Playoff Division) Northern Iowa Panthers at home in their second game of the season, have won two games in a row.
Crown their asses! It's a trend of two. In all fairness, the Cyclones appear to be playing much improved football, even if it is against the Redbird reading group of the Big 12 in opponents Kansas State and Colorado.

If you care to know what's going on with Colorado, and we know you do because you crave motivational technique jargon as much as we do, check out Dan Hawkins' blog. Notice that we've never done a mock blog entry on Dan Hawkins blog. This is because you cannot actually improve on the mad bouillabaise of ingredients cobbled together by Dan Hawkins to make his own blog, though we may try to do this next week.

This week's excerpt:

As is popular these days, My bad. I put the Iowa State loss squarely on my back. No excuses. Dont blame the officials. Dont blame wind, weather, crowd or others. If we are to live the life we aspire to, we must take responsibility for our actions and know that we have control over our lives. Even if it is a small percentage. If we control what we can, we need not worry about outside elements.

We say this every time we start blogging from the bar at 2 p.m. Bills? Repo man? Outside elements. Right now, it's you and me, Mr. Shotsky. All five of you. And daddy gets one after each post. That's focusing on your goals and matching aspiration with achievement. And so what if we take the door off your precious Toyota Camry on the way out of the parking lot? As is popular these days, "my bad, asshole."

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God help any handicapped children Hawkins comes across: “Its all in your MIND, get up and WALK, you must WILL yourself to walk, you can not let Spina bifida be an excuse, BROTHER. Motivation cures ALL!!!”

by Brian on Nov 16, 2007 2:11 PM EST reply actions

Oh, No! Dept:

I check this site constantly on Fridays to see if the ‘bunda babe of the day’ rocks. What do I get today? Borat’s uncle/Mangino. Oh man, the horror, the horror….funny though….

by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me on Nov 16, 2007 2:22 PM EST reply actions

Does anyone else get the feeling that Hawkins is on the verge of going on a Very Bad Thingsesque killing spree. All it takes is one hooker to start the ball rolling.

by Biggus Rickus on Nov 16, 2007 2:24 PM EST reply actions

My question is simply this:
Borat,
Is that a black spray can mark, or ya just glad to see Holly? I prefer pixelation, but I think there is some embellishment with the spray paint, or he’d be the next John Holmes in the latest edition of Big Naturals from the folks at Bang Bros.

by Mr Pelican Pants on Nov 16, 2007 2:43 PM EST reply actions

Loved the link to “The Hawk”.

I am so motivated!!!

What? It’s Friday?

Maybe I won’t be too hungover Monday morning. I’ll start then.

Peace

by hunglikehussain on Nov 16, 2007 2:59 PM EST reply actions

Is Hannibal going to be posting a Viewer’s Guide?

by John on Nov 16, 2007 3:01 PM EST reply actions

orson you sure do get a lot of “when the fuck are you going to post [insert running feature]” comments on here. the pressure must be exhausting.

by gerry dorsey on Nov 16, 2007 3:26 PM EST reply actions

Man, the bunda has really gone downhill since the UGA loss…..

by Sabanite on Nov 16, 2007 3:27 PM EST reply actions

Gerry,

The presure’s on Hannibal, not Orson of course. Except in the highly likely possibility that Hannibal is actually a creation of Orson’s imagination designed to make us think he has friends.

by John on Nov 16, 2007 3:37 PM EST reply actions

Orson is neither married, nor has friends, In fact Orson is just Stewart Mandel with a moniker, and made up biography. Yea, “Spencer Hall” yea that sounds real, yeaaah.

The guy you see on YouTube warning us of the dangers of getting your drink on at gay bars is probably just some random guy.

by Brian on Nov 16, 2007 3:46 PM EST reply actions

And that radio show he does with the supposed “Peter Bean;” just an uncanny ability to throw his voice.

by John on Nov 16, 2007 3:50 PM EST reply actions

Mangina has lost some weight.

by Seattle on Nov 16, 2007 3:55 PM EST reply actions

Did I recall hearing on ESPN last night that Mike Leech was thinking of paying his fine for his comments about the Big 12 refs with a pirate-chest full of pennies?

by NewAZTiger on Nov 16, 2007 3:59 PM EST reply actions