THAT’S “OZZERELLA PIZZA” FOR YOU, tOSU FAN
Pizza chain Donatos is sponsoring a “No M” week in the leadup to the Ohio State/Michigan game. Customers are being asked to order without using Ms in their ordering, meaning loads of fun when the recently arrived refugee/asylee/immigrant taking your order has to ask you four times what the hell you’re saying because you needlessly drag an innocent letter into your hate-filled interstate rivalry with another football team. M never did anything to you but be M, assholes!
Given college students’ devotion to cheap, high-energy food like factory-made pizza, the promo makes sense, even if you really do get an air-horn in the face for using the letter M. (Perhaps this is just standard practice at Donatos: random air-horning of customers.) If it truly has caught on as much as promoters hoped, then Michigan fans can look forward to being called “otherfuckers” this weekend for a delightful change of pace from the usual.
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1
Sabanite says:
laMe
November 15th, 2007 at 10:09 am
2
DevilGrad says:
The D_nat_s in Oxford better not be participating in this nonsense now that Ohio U Week (and a half) has started.
Fuck ‘em. SDS Pizza is much better in any event.
November 15th, 2007 at 10:09 am
3
OhioDawg says:
No one’s doing this kind of pro_otion in the NFL!
Love it or hate it, this kind of nonsense is exactly why we all love college football.
We can’t do it @ UGa, because that would prevent us _rom telling Urban _eyer to _uck o_ _
November 15th, 2007 at 10:10 am
4
Michigan Gator says:
Having Ohio State fans not use the letter “M” when ordering would require that they actually know the alphabet…
November 15th, 2007 at 10:11 am
5
Allahver Fist says:
Ushroom! Ushroom!
November 15th, 2007 at 10:13 am
6
Biggus Rickus says:
Otherfuckers? Are we talking The Others of shitty Nicole Kidman movie fame or the Others from Lost? Either way, the answer is yes.
November 15th, 2007 at 10:13 am
7
Allahver Fist says:
#3
Herschel W_lker is __y.
November 15th, 2007 at 10:15 am
8
gerry dorsey says:
some of the highest levels of douchery i’ve ever witnessed. overwhelming obsession with ones rival is always a little sad and pathetic.
“i’ll have some ‘eatballs.’”
“YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”
November 15th, 2007 at 10:17 am
9
Albino Tornado says:
Shouldn’t it be Ichigan Week?
November 15th, 2007 at 10:21 am
10
PW says:
3
why is the M in Meyer removed?
November 15th, 2007 at 10:29 am
11
Bobby Decatur says:
Oh those whimsical midwesterners. Whatever will they think of next?
November 15th, 2007 at 10:29 am
12
BG says:
Did we need another reason to hate Ohio State?
November 15th, 2007 at 10:31 am
13
PW says:
anyone else trying to think of other M pizza toppings with no success?
November 15th, 2007 at 10:33 am
14
PW says:
“We need 25 large pizzas delivered to a ‘Coach Angino’ in Kansas.”
November 15th, 2007 at 10:36 am
15
Because They Can says:
Hershel could whip Spurrier with his breath… while standing on Tebow and simultaneously strangling Chuck Norris with one hand and giving The Orgeron a wedgie with the other…and all the while increasing chicken wing sales.
November 15th, 2007 at 10:37 am
16
OhioDawg says:
PW – alphabetical equivalent of a combo pizza.
Allahver – Any truth to the HW comments?
November 15th, 2007 at 10:40 am
17
ChiDave says:
is that John Cooper ordering an “ozzeralla pizza” at the end?
November 15th, 2007 at 10:41 am
18
The Freewheelin' Charles Woodson says:
Dig the double negative. “Without” “M with a line through it.” Meaning every order would be “Mmmmmm”? Somewhere Aurice Clarett is shaking his head disappointedly.
November 15th, 2007 at 10:46 am
19
Doug says:
This idea is just dumb enough that some joint near the Georgia Tech campus is sure to give it a whirl next week.
November 15th, 2007 at 10:54 am
20
Allahver Fist says:
#16, OhioDawg
I think the HW comment has the same validity as corn dog sweats, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t crack me up every time I see it on a t-shirt. Furthering it is my contribution to SEC backwardness.
What’s also sweet is that HW was joined this year in the Florida/UGA Hall of Fame by none other than Doug fucking “Dumb Jock” Johnson, the only Gator I’ve ever HATED.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:01 am
21
justanotherbuckeye says:
Why is it I picture all _ ichigan people like the cops in Canadian Bacon? Fuck _ichigan, there is nothing good or decent about it, hell _ost of it is north of Toronto, give it to fucking Canada. Wait, Canada will probably want some sort of pay_ent for taking it, nix that, there has to be so_e oil under that frozen tundra, drill the shit out of it, there has to be a shit-load of _ethane at least, fucking gas bag, fucking _ichigan. Fuck you.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:04 am
22
Harvey Wireman says:
So this is supposed to be the “bestestest rivalry in college football? Looks like a bunch of clowns on both sides to me.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:06 am
23
ESMjr. says:
the whole “i’m dressed like the coach” thing is sooo 2002.
i hate the midwest.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:14 am
24
Great Caesar's Ghost says:
Why is there no _otorboating in that vid clip? I feel so cheated.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:20 am
25
Kevin says:
I like the guy who wants meat balls… i mean eat balls.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:22 am
26
Mr. Wrong says:
Dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard of. Eatballs? Indeed.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:24 am
27
The Artist Formerly Known as tOSUBuckeyes says:
#21
Yep worst rivalry in all of sports, overrated, slow and boring, right?
Don’t let the combined 18 National Championships, 11 Heisman Trophies, 123 first round draft picks, current NFL stars, super bowl rings, hall of famers, movie stars and everyone in the world outside of the bitter southeast portion of the united states that wil be glued to the TV get in the way of your opinion of how much this rivalry sucks.
There is only one other rivalry that even comes close in terms of on the field success and that is USC vs. ND with their combined 22 National Championships, 13 Heisman Trophies, and first round draft picks. But even it does not compare in terms of national attention and the true meaning of a rivalry.
Sure Alabama Auburn might mean more to the people in Alabama and SEC country, but it does not carry the accolades and accomplishments in terms of championships, and it certainly doesn’t carry the national or worldwide media coverage.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:42 am
28
justanotherbuckeye says:
#22 ESMjr.
So sorry we’re not so fucking edgy like the south and west. Do us a favor, when you’re “flying over”, suck our balls.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:44 am
29
Papa Lou BSU says:
Wow, you mean all Michigan fans need to stay out of a crappy fast-food pizza chain this week?
Gee… what a punishment. You Buckeyes sure showed them! Next year, we’ll make ‘em avoid gastrointestinal distress at the local taco stand!
November 15th, 2007 at 11:49 am
30
Kenny says:
Poor ichigan kids. In response there will be no Os given in Ann Arbor this week.
Hope the pizza is better than the gimmick.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:56 am
31
ESMjr. says:
#27 justanother
don’t you mean your “eatballs?” Get it?!?! Cause there’s no “M” this week!!! Wonderful humor, really.
enjoy your time in the hairy taint of america, pasty-boy.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:57 am
32
BDoc says:
Ah, I see what you did there with the whole “m-assholes” thing.
Tricky, but clever.
November 15th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
33
JTin says:
@ 28 & 29…
Mediocre-to-poor marketing aside, taste-wise, Donato’s is the best in Columbus. It’s a totally different style than other chains, not NY-style or Chicago style. Thin, crispy crust…at least 100 pepperonis on a large pizza (guaranteed)…mmmm.
November 15th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
34
Harvey Wireman says:
MIch vs Ohio St, no pizzazz in that game.
Bunch of meatballs from the midwest.
the dummies from Ohio st vs. the almost smarties from Mich.
The Sominex Bowl.
Sissy tressel vs. grumpy old man whats his face.
bah humbug!
November 15th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
35
Yinka Double Dare says:
22: In Ann Arbor we don’t dress like the coach. We are, however, smirky sarcastic bastards when someone asks us a really stupid question.
November 15th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
36
DC Trojan says:
Dropping the M? Sort of like the Crips refusing to use the letter “B” in the 80s, I suppose, but with fewer AKs and more shit-filled coolers.
But even it does not compare in terms of national attention and the true meaning of a rivalry.
That’s comical. The true definition of a national rivalry is that the teams have to be in bordering states with a grudge and the game affects who wins a conference? In other words, a regional rivalry that affects Bowl games.
I suspect that the national level of interest in this game is to see whether Michigan will crap the bed again, or if Carr can finally engineer a win over Cheatypants McSweatervest.
November 15th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
37
Crimson Daddy says:
tosu,
Tthe main reason Michigan and OSU are seen as such big rivals is because they are the only two teams worth a crap historically in the Big Televen, so they’re gonna have good records at the end of the year and play for the Big Ten title.
No matter though, they both get pasted in bowl games.
November 15th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
38
SonofSamford says:
Oom! Otherfuckers!
November 15th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
39
Rival says:
#3
Herschel W_lker is __y.
Comment by Allahver Fist ? November 15, 2007 @ 10:15 am
That joke was funnier when you weren’t messing it up.
Wait – no it wasn’t.
November 15th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
40
The Artist Formerly Known as tOSUBuckeyes says:
#36
Historically speaking, you are incorrect. Minnesota, historically speaking, has more National Championships than all SEC teams not named Alabama – they just don’t use it as their only defense when faced with the facts of their current situation. Historically speaking, the fine academic institution of Illinois has produced just as many NFL hall of fame players if not more than most SEC teams. Historically speaking the combined total of National Championships from the Big Ten is more than the SEC. Historically speaking the Big Ten has an overall winning record against the SEC. And the most obvious indication that you are wrong is that Ohio State is the conference boat anchor in the arms war against the SEC. How could one of the only 2 good teams in your opinion have a losing record against the SEC, yet every other upper to mid level team have a winning record against the SEC? Oh, I know, they all played Vanderbilt and Ohio State is the only one that has played a good SEC team with a good SEC coach.
It’s okay to have an opinion, especially one that includes SEC dominance, SEC superiority, or Big Ten suckery, yeah suckery, I don’t know if that is even a word, but I’m using it. Just don’t let your opinion get in the way of the facts.
November 15th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
41
Rival says:
#26
Obviously you meant:
#21
Yep worst rivalry in all of sports, overrated, slow and boring, right?
Don’t let the co_bined 18 National Cha_pionships, 11 Heis_an Trophies, 123 first round draft picks, current NFL stars, super bowl rings, hall of fa_ers, _ovie stars and everyone in the world outside of the bitter southeast portion of the united states that wil be glued to the TV get in the way of your opinion of how _uch this rivalry sucks.
There is only one other rivalry that even comes close in terms of on the field success and that is USC vs. ND with their co_bined 22 National Cha_pionships, 13 Heis_an Trophies, and first round draft picks. But even it does not co_pare in ter_s of national attention and the true _eaning of a rivalry.
Sure Alaba_a Auburn _ight _ean _ore to the people in Alaba_a and SEC country, but it does not carry the accolades and acco_plishments in terms of cha_pionships, and it certainly doesn’t carry the national or worldwide _edia coverage.
You’re welcome.
tOSU fans who piss on Alabama fans by proclaiming the superiority of Buckeye rivalries sure do sound like Alabama fans.
November 15th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
42
Rival says:
Historically speaking the combined total of National Championships from the Big Ten is more than the SEC.
Historically speaking, a great deal of US history happened in the east and midwest, as those were the largest populations centers until the more recent expansion west and south.
So, it should not surprise that prominent football schools centered around large populations of people would get national recognition.
November 15th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
43
Allahver Fist says:
#16, OhioDawg
It’s likely as true as LSU corn dog sweats, but it’s continual mention is my contribution to the SEC’s perception of backwardness. It also always cracks me the fuck up when I see it on a shirt.
November 15th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
44
The Artist Formerly Known as tOSUBuckeyes says:
#36
Didn’t Michigan beat Alabama the last time they played? In 1999 Michigan was the Big Ten runner up (Wisconsin went to the Rose Bowl and won) and played SEC Champion Alabama in the Orange Bowl.
Didn’t Minnesota beat Alabama in a bowl game here recently? Never mind, Alabama was “suffering” from scholarship reductions for CHEATING so that win doesn’t count. Bama’s back though, right? I mean it’s 2000 and Saban, I mean 2007, and probation ended last year and the scholarship reductions ended 2 years ago, right?
Ohio State might suck against the SEC, but Michigan and Penn State are 4-2 against the SEC since the start of the BCS.
November 15th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
45
NativeSon says:
#26
I bet it took a lot longer to type all that with just one hand. Christ, were you using a sock when you wrote that or did you let it fly all natural directly onto your keyboard?
November 15th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
46
The Artist Formerly Known as tOSUBuckeyes says:
#44
To quote Les Miles “Let ‘ur rip!”
November 15th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
47
JTG says:
Wow. How gay were those Buckeye guys in the video?
I especially liked how they all touched each other and hugged after each successful order.
November 15th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
48
sevenDs says:
You can argue the best rialry all you want but really no one outside of Ohio and Michigan care much about that game either. While histroy may be on your side with these stats, remember that the BCS is still BS and until there is playoff, it’s nothing but a popularity contest. And it always has been.
Funny how institutions of higher learning ignore common practices for determining the champion of one of it’s two highest income garnering sports.
If this system is so great, why haven’t we done away with March Madness and introduced the BBCS “BasketBowl Championship Series”?
November 15th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
49
baconboy says:
It’s Michigan week and Subcommandante Wayne hasn’t made an appearance? He’s not going to talk about the time he bagged two chicks in Detroit in the back of his Camaro while his mom was shopping at the mall??
To heck with the “M”, we already knew there was no “D” in Michigan…
November 15th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
50
Odell 51 says:
My only comment for what it is worth.
Donatos is strong pizza. Debating that is worth more to society than the debate between the Big 10 and SEC “super programs”
If we really are going off of historical facts we should include populations shifts in America between 1949-2007. That should help explain who is dominating now and who dominated then. Follow the logic and you will find that they both dominate!
November 15th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
51
justanotherbuckeye says:
#30,
I spent over six years on the left coast and happily moved back to the pasty midwest, it’s the whole, “I can afford a nice house, have a family that can expect a decent education, speaking english first, lack of hatred for the while male” thing about Middle America that get’s me everytime.
Once again, enjoy pinko-commie, just remember to suck my balls as you fly by.
November 15th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
52
Doug says:
Yes, pity poor justanotherbuckeye, as those pinko commies on the left coast cruelly refused to recognize his white-male superiority, shine his knob, and submit to his every whim. What hell that must have been for you!
November 15th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
53
baconboy says:
Hey tafknatosu, since you said we shouldn’t let the facts get in our way, I thought I’d do a little fact checking of my own… and I question yours. You mentioned 18 national titles between Michigan and OSU, but I couldn’t find all of them. If the breakdown is 7 for OSU and 11 for UM, that would only work if you allow OSU to claim the 1970 title — which they do, even though Nebraska and Texas split the AP and UPI votes.
Here’s a link to the NCAA list of national champions: http://www.ncaa.org/champadmin/ia_football_past_champs.html
By your standards, this means we should all be glued to the set when Princeton plays Yale, as Princeton alone has more national championships than OSU/UM combined.
Also, your Heisman numbers don’t check out either. I count 7 for OSU (counting Archie Griffin twice) and 3 for Michigan. Last I checked, that equals 10, not 11.
I’m not saying these still aren’t impressive numbers (though they might be more impressive to my grandmother, who is 95 years old and wasn’t born when Michigan won half of their national championships), but if you want us to base our opinions on facts, it would be helpful if you could actually present facts.
November 15th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
54
DevilGrad says:
By your standards, this means we should all be glued to the set when Princeton plays Yale, as Princeton alone has more national championships than OSU/UM combined.
Of course not. You should dial up The Game on your satellite dish, as Harvard and Yale square off for sole possession of the Ivy title.
Inexplicably, however, “GameDay” will not be be broadcasting from New Haven.
http://www.yaledailynews.com/articles/view/22429
November 15th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
55
justanotherbuckeye says:
Yes, Doug, because that is what every while male desires…………….since when has the desire to be “not hated” been interpreted as “bow down”. I question your intelligence.
November 15th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
56
Rival says:
I recall that ball sucking was not allowed on my last cross-country flight.
At least not in coach.
November 15th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
57
macker says:
100 cocktails to #14. Just classic.
November 15th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
58
Russ says:
@52 – Jeebus Cripes! I had no idea there were that many MNC’s floating around out there. I always wondered how Ga Tech claimed eleventy MNCs after they shared the title with Colorado in 1990. Looking through that list, you’d have to be a pretty shitty program to not have at least one MNC out of all those given out over the years.
According to this chart, Tech and Georgia will have a combined 11 MNC’s when they meet next week. Impressive, indeed!
November 15th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
59
DC Trojan says:
justanotherbuckeye, with charm and wit like that, are you sure that people didn’t like you because you’re white?
November 15th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
60
DC Trojan says:
Michigan fans can look forward to being called “otherfuckers” this weekend for a delightful change of pace from the usual.
I assume that only in cum-stained Ohio libraries would it be an insult to be an other-fucker instead of a self-fucker.
November 15th, 2007 at 3:33 pm
61
Doug says:
Well, justanotherbuckeye, as a white heterosexual Christian male, I’m making 50% more than an equally qualified female, I’ve never been pulled over by a cop because of my skin color, and I’m free to fuck just about any woman I want without having some preacher give me the old “Adam and Steve” lecture — so I guess when I hear people like you whine about how hard your life is, I just think you need to sack up and stop being such a pussy.
November 15th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
62
bamafanintigerland says:
#43
Not that I want to make excuses for losses, because loss is a loss no matter what,but the Orange Bow loss to Michigan was a 1 point overtime loss and Alabama was not without Chris Samuels for that game either. For the most part, I consider the best of the SEC and the Big Ten evenly matched (I say most part well because you know) and a one point loss in overtime because of a missed extra point seems to bear that out.
Alabama-Minnesota. Again, I think Hoover High was fielding a better offense by that time. Spencer Pennington couldn’t throw a ball 10 yards. The leading rusher for the game was Keith Brown with 17 yards. Darby was pretty much hurt with a sports herni and limited. Aaron Johns was limited with an injury. And even with that half-retarded offense they almost pulled out a victory over Barber III and Maroney led Minnesota team (on the Gophers 15 yard line, down 20-16 with 1:30 to go before we turned it over on downs).
I will allow you to use the Ted Ginn injury as an excuse for your loss last season as well.
November 15th, 2007 at 4:08 pm
63
Sabanite says:
If we are talking history, I’ll take the MVPs of the first 3 Super Bowls and the NFL MVPs from 1974 and 2005 plus four other Hall of Famers over all your OSU pros…
And it is not Bama’s fault that Auburn can’t contribute more than 1 MNC to the rivalry… but I’d take Auburn’s 1985 Heisman winner over all OSU and Michigan winners COMBINED …
November 15th, 2007 at 4:40 pm
64
zzgator says:
I really enjoy the pithy, nay, snarky comments around here…and really destest the tedious dissertations by distraught midwesterners.
November 15th, 2007 at 5:00 pm
65
slippy says:
God, this makes me sad to be a buckeye. And the commenters on this site as well. If you think Donato’s is the best pizza in Columbus, you need to leave the midwest. It’s by far the worst. Yea you might get 100 pepperoni’s, but they all suck. No crust so you have to eat 7 pizza’s to fill you up, and it’s the most expensive pizza joint around town.
And there will never be a unanimous greatest rivalry. I attend tOSU and I’ll be the first to tell you there’s nothing better than Army-Navy.
November 15th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
66
SDF Fan says:
Sorry, Alabama/Auburn is still the greatest rivalry I’ve ever come to know. Hatred all the time, in every sport, not just one week a year. But what do I know – CBS picked up Kentucky/UT this year instead of the Iron Bowl.
November 15th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
67
Dave says:
The Devil can quote Scripture… and football statistics.
November 15th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
68
justanotherbuckeye says:
zzgator,
Us midwesterners also love the hallow condescension from you southerners, so excuse us if we don’t mind annoying you. Oh, and fuck _ichigan
November 15th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
69
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Defender of the West Dept:
Interesting commentary, if you can call it that, between Mid-Westerners, Southerners and Left Coasties.
All I can say is that a lot more of you Mid-Westerners end up on the West Coast and South than poeple from our areas end up on your part of the country.
And, the West tops the South. No armpit-type weather over here and more/better teeth.
November 15th, 2007 at 8:07 pm
70
Jorgé the Bass Player says:
Sorry our big game is so annoying. It’s even worse living in Columbus and trying to watch the local news. Yeah, the fucking Michigan game is two days away. How about some news?
November 15th, 2007 at 9:25 pm
71
oc phil says:
#50 I grew up on the left coast, went to grad school in Ohio and got my first teaching/coaching gig in Michigan. I couldn’t wait to get back to Cali, the first chance I got.
Columbus was actually a pretty nice place to live overall. Michigan was better but the left coast beats both by a mile. If you are happy there, great. Please stay. It has gotten too crowded out here as it is.
November 15th, 2007 at 9:57 pm
72
bnb614 says:
You won’t find a bigger Buckeye fan than me and the amount of game coverage on BOTH major radio stations in Columbus (can you say 5 hour pre-game show?), as well as all the “Go Bucks” commercials and all the gimmicks like this get really old and annoying.
November 15th, 2007 at 10:45 pm
73
hangonskoky says:
71 – I totally agree
I’m as big an OSU fan as any but after you’ve been at Ohio State for more than a year its kind of annoying when you have to yell I-O back to all of the Freshman/Visiting fans who don’t actually go to OSU yelling O-H to everyone they see…
After the Michigan game last year most O-H’s got answered with a hearty “shut the f* up!” To make things worse, the house next door to us has been the playing the Buckeye Battle Cry on a loop for the past two days! I need to sleep damnit. GO BUCKS, but If you live at Lambda Chi Alpha house on 15th Ave shut the music off, douchebags.
November 16th, 2007 at 7:35 pm