WE HAVE NO WORDS...

by Orson on Nov 14, 2007 1:52 PM EST

We're zipping around the internet in our virtual smart car, puttering along, you know, just thinking of checking the college football schedule on ESPN.com. So we stop by the front page, waiting for the annoying auto-start video to play, when we notice...this.

We honestly can't describe how funny this is. So there. Just look at it, and consider that "FOR THE LOVE OF ROD" is currently the actual headline on ESPN.com. Then close your office door, lay down on the floor, and laugh. And when you stop, remember that A-Rod is allegedly into the "muscular she-male" type, and know that we will only mention the decrepit 19th century garden party game that is baseball when it has to do with major media providers inadvertently making penis-lust jokes.

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His aura, or whatever? I SEEN that!

by Sean Glennon's Jersey on Nov 14, 2007 2:02 PM EST reply actions

I think it’s the high-pro-glow surrounding Alex that takes this to a new level. And that face: he doesn’t want $300 M, he just wants a little post-coitus cuddle.

For the love of rod, indeed…

by hawkeye on Nov 14, 2007 2:02 PM EST reply actions

Looks like he’s suffering from Toxic Stripper Shock.

by Allahver Fist on Nov 14, 2007 2:10 PM EST reply actions

Amazingly, my quick google search provided no links to a porn entitled “For the Love of Rod.” I did find out there’s a Canadian political strategist named Rod Love though. Fucking Canadians.

by Biggus Rickus on Nov 14, 2007 2:21 PM EST reply actions

ooh, can we turn this into a ridiculous headline thread?!?! Pretty please?

Good. I’ll start: [url]http://www.statesman.com/sports/content/sports/stories/other/11/12/1112golf.html[/url]

by Otis! on Nov 14, 2007 2:22 PM EST reply actions

ooh, can we turn this into a ridiculous headline thread?!?! Pretty please?

Good. I’ll start: http://www.statesman.com/sports/content/sports/stories/other/11/12/1112golf.html

by Otis! on Nov 14, 2007 2:24 PM EST reply actions

Heheheheheheheh…rod…

God that will never get old as a follow up to any word that is even remotely suggestive. Ours will be a generation of 70-year-old men making the Butt-Head voice.

by Billy in Baton Rouge on Nov 14, 2007 2:24 PM EST reply actions

@Biggus Rickus:

When I was in the Navy, I worked with a guy named Rod Long. Of course, his name in every document was “Long, Rod”.

by Sean Glennon's Jersey on Nov 14, 2007 2:38 PM EST reply actions

Sean’s Jersey,

Staying with the awful name theme, I once had to work on the computer of a woman named Manley Loving.

by Biggus Rickus on Nov 14, 2007 2:46 PM EST reply actions

SG’sJ @ 7

Please tell us he was Seaman Rod Long….or Rear Admiral Rod Long.

by PW on Nov 14, 2007 2:50 PM EST reply actions

Finally, the rest of the country is catching up to me.

If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands.

by Brandon Cox's Vagina on Nov 14, 2007 2:54 PM EST reply actions

This belongs in the infamous 50 reasons why EsPN sucks thread. Seriously, look at the caption to the picture of ARod. It’s like ESPN is trying to pimp their golden cow out to the masses regardless of whether or not the rest of the nation gives two sh!ts.

Scott Boras owns the EsPN.

by Geaux Irish on Nov 14, 2007 3:00 PM EST reply actions

5 – No headline will top the “Cupcakes served their purpose” over a picture of Mangino from the Kansas sports site that was taken down within hours.

I know everyone loves ragging on A-Rod, but he’s about to get a contract worth GDP of most countries. I hate him for that. Not because of his uber-metrosexualness.

by Edsall is God on Nov 14, 2007 3:01 PM EST reply actions

Can someone explain what the “A-Rod Join the Party” sign means??

by Edsall is God on Nov 14, 2007 3:04 PM EST reply actions

ESPN obviously knew they were dangerously close to a homo-erotic headline yet proceeded anyway…how else do yo explain the decision to not use “For the Love of A-Rod”???

by Sabanite on Nov 14, 2007 3:07 PM EST reply actions

scott boras loves rod.

by gerry dorsey on Nov 14, 2007 3:09 PM EST reply actions

By the time I waas in second grade, I’d discovered (the hard way) that my parents had ignored a deeply-important societal naming convention, namely:

If your last name is any adjective other than Huge, Long, or Wonderful, do not name your son “Richard.”

by panhandler on Nov 14, 2007 3:15 PM EST reply actions

#14: They pretty much used that below the picture. “But does anyone love A-Rod?”

by Boy Howdy on Nov 14, 2007 3:19 PM EST reply actions

16 – My favorite is the guy who heads the International Drug Testing agency (whatever its called), the immortal Dick Pound.

by Edsall is God on Nov 14, 2007 3:21 PM EST reply actions

I thought The Dick Pound was a gay club in Pascataway…not that I’ve ever been there when I was in town on a business trip, picked up a man in leather and brought him back to my hotel room. Not that there would be anything wrong with that, provided you can handle the guilt you feel at betraying your wife…I would imagine.

by Biggus Rickus on Nov 14, 2007 3:25 PM EST reply actions

I think it involves A-Rod, eight (8) other dudes, and one (1) biscuit.

by jebus on Nov 14, 2007 3:31 PM EST reply actions

Homer Simpson rigged the door shut with this inanimate carbon rod.

Awww, they were about to show some close-ups of the rod.

by Mr. Egger on Nov 14, 2007 3:36 PM EST reply actions

In Rod We Trust

by Mr. Egger on Nov 14, 2007 3:37 PM EST reply actions

Mr. Egger, 100 Cocktails to you sir. An A Simpsons reference and a personal favorite of mine.

by Edsall is God on Nov 14, 2007 4:00 PM EST reply actions

#6. That’s the first thing I thought when I read it. Wayyyy to much B&B here I guess.

by The Last Dragon on Nov 14, 2007 4:03 PM EST reply actions

re: waiting for the annoying auto-start video to play

Umm, slide the volume thingie to silent, and no more annoying sound. Video, sure. Sound, hell, no. It only affects the annoying video. Doesn’t affect sound elsewhere. And it continues to works visit after visit, meaning, slide to silent once and be done with it. You know, so long as you allow cookies.

by simple ESPN video kill on Nov 14, 2007 4:59 PM EST reply actions

#16. I once fell over laughing at a resume, and my stodgy, co-workers didn’t know why. Guy’s name was Richard Rider.

by RandyLSU on Nov 14, 2007 5:03 PM EST reply actions

My mom’s teen-aged friend couldn’t wait to get married so her name could be changed from Edith Screws. She married a guy named Wright. (doh)

by NRBQ on Nov 14, 2007 5:41 PM EST reply actions

I knew a Dick Sharp (Sharp, Dick) in grade school….

I don’t even remember the last time I went to ESPN.COM. Annoying video is just the tip of the iceberg. Half the stuff there is “INSIDER” only…uhhh, no.

by Brian O'Blivion on Nov 14, 2007 5:52 PM EST reply actions